January 29, 2011

Teresa

Teresa, age 8
Bloomington, CA (1984)


I remember as a kid, I was always a tomboy. I always hung around boys - or girls that were tomboys. I spent the most time with my uncle who's only 5 years older than me. He was always more like my brother than my uncle. I loved playing all sports with him, including tackle football.

"I was never a girlie girl"
I guess I always knew I was different from the girlie girls, and my favorite past times were catching lizards, climbing trees (I climbed ones that even the boys wouldn't, because they were afraid of spiders!), and I loved going fishing with my grandpa.

When I was about 4 years old I asked my mom, 'Are you sure I'm not a boy?' My mom tried very hard to make me a girlie girl, but it never worked. Although, once she entered me in a local beauty pageant when I was 10, and I won 2nd runner-up Queen.

Coming out to my parents was a very negative experience for me. I've learned over the years to just not bring up the fact that I'm a lesbian to them.

But I now have a wonderful life partner. We just celebrated our 13th anniversary together, and we have a 7-year old daughter that we adopted together.

Fortunately, my partner's family is very supportive of our relationship, and our daughter is able to grow up having a typical grandparent relationship with them.

I've found in my life that I have been very fortunate to have wonderful supportive friends that I consider my family. My partner, daughter and I are very involved in our Unitarian Universalist church, and we have many wonderful close friends in our congregation that we consider family as well.

My advise for young people struggling with coming out is: Be yourself, you're beautiful just the way you are, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If coming out is a negative experience for you, I can understand what you're going through. I've learned in my life to just surround myself with those that accept me as I am, and not who they want me to be.

I know things may be hard right now, but trust me that as you get older and surround yourself with those that love you and accept you as you are, you'll discover that the ones that didn't accept you are the ones with the problem.

You are beautiful just the way you are.

Teresa's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Nancy McKeon (Jo on "Facts Of Life")
I remember how much I loved that show because of her. She didn't care that she was different from the other girls, and wasn't afraid to just be herself.

Helio

Helio, age 4
Nova Iguaçu, Brazil (1987)

I was born in Rio de Janeiro and lived in Nova Iguaçu. Here, I'm dressed like an indian during a Carnival ball with my parents.

A year later my dad died, and I was raised by mum, who never married again.

My family was very conservative and catholic, and mum was the most homophobic person I'd ever met until then.

I grew up in conflict, because by age 8, I wanted to know what it felt like for those "queer, freak, or abnormal people" my mother always secretly insulted at home.


I came out at 15 and suffered a lot. I was judged, humiliated, and even attacked many times - and my mother was the most aggressive person doing this to me.

It was a great battle to change my family's mind, and it took me about 8 years. Today I’m 27, and my story helped other relatives of mine in the same situation. I have 2 lesbian cousins that came out, and my youngest brother also came out last year, much to my mom's frustration!

I became an arts manager and produced a documentary about the gay life in my city. The film was titled "Nova iGAYçu" and here's the craziest part: My mom was the executive producer! That was quite a change of heart, wasn't it?

But just like my mother, my country needs many more minds changed.

In Brazil, every 3 days a member of gay community is killed, and if we include transsexuals, the statistics get higher. Besides the murders, many teenagers are kicked out by their parents just for being gay or lesbian. And in politics, although many advances have been achieved, we still see politicians getting support from the religious mass to make our lives harder than they already are.

But I see homosexuality as a normal way of life, freer than the hetero way.
And, much happier.

Helio's first, famous-person same sex crush:
George Michael

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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January 28, 2011

Edward

Edward, age 5
Fontana, CA (1991)

I was so happy to bring this picture home and show my mom. This wasn't "picture day," this was for star students known as SUPER STARS! I was always a teacher's pet and was so happy I was being rewarded for it. It was great!

"SUPER STAR! Duh! LOL!"

I always felt different, even at this age. I always liked to wear bright flashy colors, and every night I would pick out and lay out my clothes for the next day.

A new school year was the best time of year, even better then Christmas, because we would go clothes shopping. And I loved the first couple of weeks to show off my new clothes.

My favorite jacket was this bright, shiny red Members Only jacket that I'd wear off my shoulders. And I remember my older brother always trying to pull it back up, and telling me to stop wearing it like that.

Growing up in a Mexican household, I watched a lot of telenovelas (soap operas), so I got to see a lot of hot half-naked Latin men - and that's really when I knew I like boys instead of girls.

The biggest telenovela I remember is "Mari Mar" and I fell in love with Eduardo Capetillo. He was the perfect tall, dark, and handsome type. And now looking at pictures of him, I think that's where I get my fixation for a hairy chest. 

Thanks for the blog - it's GREAT!!!!!

Edward's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Eduardo Capetillo (Mexican actor)
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Mari Mar (3-dvd boxset) [NTSC/REGION 1 & 4 DVD. Import-Latin America] Thalia Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me and Other Trials from My Queer Life YOU ROCK! How To Be A STAR Student & Still Have FUN Gay Hegemony/ Latino Homsexualites (Latino Communities: Emerging Voices - Political, Social, Cultural and Legal Issues)

Kevin

Kevin, age 3
Granby, Connecticut (1964)


This is a picture of me with my sister and her life sized doll. She used to love to dress me in that dolls' clothes when we played together! I remember when I was a little older, I'd sneak up into the attic to play with this doll and her Barbie dolls. I just loved dressing them and spent every minute I could with them.

"With Paula... and The Future Bride Of Chucky!"
I remember trying to “come out” to my Mother when I was about 10, but I just couldn't find the words to clearly say what I was feeling. I could only explain that I liked to do things that girls liked to do, like play house and play with dolls. She assured me it was OK for boys to like those things, and not to worry about it.

The deeper secret that I could not bring myself to tell her was my fascination with grown mens' hairy forearms and arm pits. We had a roofer one Summer working on the house, and I'd climb the ladder every day to watch him work shirtless - without really understanding why he was so fascinating.

Looking at this pic today, I remember how happy I was in that innocent time before beginning school and becoming a total misfit. I always stood out as the effeminate one, constantly picked on all through grade school into high school.

My Father and brother did their best trying to “butch” me up, but I was just too sensitive to enjoy our frequent hunting and fishing trips, and always preferred doing something creative instead. I was always much more comfortable spending time with the women in my family.

My way of rationalizing all of this, was that I was learning how to do everything a man and a woman could do, so I'd always be able to take care of myself.

I never lost faith that there would be a "happily ever after" for me and I finally found it! I have been with my husband 15 years this year. We retired earlier this year (both before age 50) and we're living a permanent vacation in Florida now.

We had a wonderful Civil Union in Connecticut when they became legal, and also married there when that law passed.

I wouldn't change one thing about my past struggles, because those challenges have made me the self-confident person that I am today!

So remember, kids: school years are hard for everyone. Even the most popular and highest achievers have their crosses to bear. I learned later in life that most bullies, when challenged, back right down.

Bullies attack because of their own insecurities. The most beautiful don't think they are good looking, and the brightest don't believe they're smart enough.

So just be strong and be confident - even when you are scared to death!

Kevin's first famous person same sex crushes:
Robert Conrad ("The Wild, Wild West")
Robert's tight pants made me crazy!
Oh, and Wally from 'Leave It To Beaver' sure looked great in a T-shirt!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Kenny

Kenny, age 11
Detroit, Michigan (1985)


Every Halloween costume from my childhood was female. Over the years, I'd dressed as a witch, a bag lady, a gypsy, a girl vampire, and a girl clown. This one is a particular favorite, since most of my costume clothing here was loaned by my mom. Tonight I would tell people I was "a girl punker".

I wore my mom's shoes, skirt, and jewelry. I think we bought the neon shirt at the mall, and it doubled as part of an outfit for an upcoming dance recital where, I did a routine to Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop." Midway through the number, the stage went to black light, so fluorescents were a necessity.

My mom did my hair and make-up, and she said, 'Rod Stewart hangs his head upside down and blow dries his hair to give it height.'

And so, that's what we did.

I'm guessing this photo was taken by one of my parents. I'm biting my lips in order to conceal a giant smile I was holding in, because I couldn't wait to get out trick or treating that night.

Oh, and my mom still hangs that cardboard skeleton in our house to this day.

Kenny's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Scott Baio
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


Mike

Mike, age 6
Orlando, FL (1987)

On my birthday here, I was told we were going to a family member's house for my birthday, and I picked out this outfit that morning, because I wanted to stand out from everyone else at the party. It was going to be a long drive from our place in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and I napped on the way. Little did I know when I woke up, that the first thing I'd see was the Disney World road sign, and I was so surprised and excited! We spent the whole day doing Disney, and it was one of the greatest birthdays of my life. I got to see all my favorite characters that day!

"Snapshot. Take my picture. Snapshot!!!"
I didn’t know I was gay until I was 12, when I first knew there was a word to describe how I felt. I ALWAYS liked boys, but I thought all boys liked boys, so I never felt “different” and didn’t know there was anything else to feel.

I really miss that spirit I had as a kid.

I wore whatever made me feel good, and didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. Now, there is so much pressure to wear the right brands or the right styles, and that takes the fun out of life.

My message for the gay kids of today is:

Don't lose the wonderful spirit that you have. The only thing you have to hold on to as you grow, is your spirit!

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
New Kids On The Block
The entire band! I had the lunchbox, the pillow people, the posters,
the action figures - EVERYTHING!

Eric

Eric, age 13
Council Bluffs, Iowa (1988)

Being born and raised in a small town in Iowa, it's probably no surprise that I didn't really fit in with the other kids at school. Luckily, my father is a musician, and I've been singing since I learned how to talk. So I spent most of my childhood performing with my father all over the country!

In my pic, I'd just won a national talent competition. I was probably re-enacting the pageant in my living room, when my mom snapped me in my preferred choice of clothing. I guess some things never change.

I'm very fortunate to have very liberal & accepting parents who encouraged me to be who I am, and do what I love!

I'm 35 now, and I've been making a living by doing just that: I've traveled all over the world singing and dancing!

If I had to do it all over again, I would have come out the moment I first had a crush on a boy in the 3rd grade. People were already making fun of me, and I should have just been my authentic self.

But, I've learned that things definitely do get better. I have a great family, a close support group of friends, and I'm grateful for that every day!

I think the little boy in the picture would be pretty proud of how far he's come!

Eric's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Ritter (in "Three's Company")
_________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

Aaron

Aaron, age 8
Southwest, IN (2001)

This is my 3rd grade production of "Pecos Bill." I KILLED that role, but remember being a little irritated that the play ended with me marrying
Sweet Sue. What I'm twirling is a giant "snake" - take from that what you will.

"Red bandana thankfully *not* a premonition of things to come"

After this, I was bitten by the acting bug and kept busy in children's theater and choir in a bigger town near me, which gave me an outlet for my creative energy and flamboyance.

When I reached 7th grade, I was hit with the trio of pubescent awkwardness: fat, glasses, and braces. This, combined with my flagrant swishiness,
did me no favors growing up in a small, farming-and-mining, Bible-belt town.


I came out when I was 14 (although I'd known for years before then), and I remember my mom being terrified for me. All she could think to say at first was that I couldn't tell anyone else, that I should at least try to pretend with girls, etc.

My parents and family became extremely supportive - they're founding members of PFLAG! - and were a godsend through the dark days of junior high.

I dropped everything artsy except choir by the time I reached high school and favored academic teams. This led me to my saving grace – volunteering for the Obama campaign in Indiana, with a bunch of post-menopausal, progressive, LGBT-friendly women. Through the campaign and other kinds of Democratic, environmental, and pro-choice activism since then, I found my meaning in life.

If I hadn't been gay in my environment, I don't think I would have found it in me to care so much about politics, and how the people I can help elect can drastically change my world for the better. For that, I'm extremely grateful.

I'm finishing high school now, and am going to either Harvard or Stanford this fall to major in political science. Although show choir is about the limit of my arts activity today, I still think of the days when I could become whoever I wanted to be on stage. I think that played a big part in helping me have the courage to become the man I am today.

Aaron's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker in "Attack Of The Clones")
He seemed so sweet and cute then, although I cringe if I see the movie now

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January 27, 2011

Ryan

Ryan, age 9
Anaheim, CA (1988)

Here I am, playing dress up at my Grandma Ginger's house. She was an amazing 'actress' type who had closets full of shoes and fur coats that I salivated over.

"I wasn't allowed to actually put her clothes on, but..."
When I wasn't playing with the Hollywood Legends paper dolls she bought me, I was using her sheets to create wrap dresses or long flowing skirts.

And I knew that her Roberto Cavali gowns were off limits.

Looking back on this photo, I find it funny that she cared about the Cavalis and not the shoes my dirty, little feet would slip so delicately into?

After all, aren't a woman's shoes her pride and joy??
Go figure!

My grandma passed away before I came out, but in my heart I know she not only knew, but loved me all the more for it. I think she was also kind of excited for me, and quietly sad that she wouldn't be around to go out and hit the town with me.

When we, as a society, speak about generations and how they're programmed to react to the unfamiliar, the example of my grandma always comes to mind.
I find it a hard sell to say 'generations' just exist like that.

We are ALL individuals - in our gayness, in our straightness, in our open-mindedness. And in our ability to love and accept others. That is the only thing that will set us free!!!
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Roberto Cavalli Black By Roberto Cavalli For Men Eau De Toilette Spray, 3.4-Ounces  Hollywood Legends Collection Barbie As Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady(Embassy Ball Gown) I Love My Grandma! (First Blessings Flap Books)