April 12, 2011

AJ

AJ, age 3
Honolulu, HI (1984)

The only vacation my family ever really went on, was this vacation to Hawaii when I was 3-years old.

This photo was taken by a family member, and supposedly my father was VERY angry that I had put the flowers behind my ears like this.

In recent years, my father has told me he knew I was gay when I was 2-years old. So at this point, he must have been upset that his suspicions might actually be true.

I, though, have always loved this photo. Just look at that mug!

My only wish is that I had given more FACE, instead of just going for the model pout. But c'est la vie.

Roger

Roger, age 11
Plettenberg Bay, South Africa (1966)

By the age of 5 I knew I was different. I grew up in a small coastal resort town, population then of about 1,200 people. Pop culture frightened me then, and
I switched off the radio when "modern music" was played.

One night, I'd wondered away from the colonial stone terrace, where the parents were being served drinks by the staff in their red-sashed, white uniforms.

Down a long grassed ceiling passage, through a bathroom doorway slightly ajar, I came across our hosts' son taking his early evening bath.

The reflection of candle light on the clear water in the white enamel bath, the fragrance of the grass roof, the shiny and smooth soap-scented muscled body, and the rough male kiss of fresh towels reverberated in the very depth of my being.

I was 21 when I told my parents I was gay. They asked, "What does that mean?" "Homosexual," I stammered. And it was left like that, and never spoken of again.

At 8-years old I fell in love with a nameless, dashing soldier dressed in full mess kit. His hand extended to a beautiful lady in a turquoise frilly ball gown, in an invitation to dance. He was on the cover of my first LP, and I played the Viennese waltzes over and over again, until I knew every note and was dancing with him.

Seeing this picture now, I feel stupid and camp. And quite frankly, ridiculous. However, I remember that back then, I was happy carefree and in love with life.
______________________________________________________
The Man Who Drove With Mandela (Home Use)Gayle: The Language of Kinks and Queens, A History and Dictionary of Gay Language in South AfricaDefiant Desire: Gay and Lesbian Lives in South AfricaGold Star Ballroom: Viennese Waltz

April 09, 2011

* ANDY BELL on "Born This Way Radio!" *

Hey everyone!
Be sure to stream & listen every Sunday night!

"BORN THIS WAY RADIO"

Sunday, April 10th
:: With Our Special Guests ::
ANDY BELL of Erasure & Justin Bond!


8pm till 10pm (PDT // LA, CA time)
Streaming live & worldwide! Click: JustinTV/Moheak



"Born This Way Radio" is a 2-hour program dedicated to LGBTQ listeners,
featuring open and honest discussions and chit-chat about our experiences,
LGBTQ related music, comedy, current events, and advice

Inspired by this blog, the show will encourage listener participation from
LGBTQ kids - and adults or parents - who might be struggling with issues of
coming out, bullying, or harassment. Or just a fun place to chat!

We'll be taking your phone calls live at (323) 664-3251,
and chatting via your postings on Twitter and on Facebook.

All in an environment where callers can feel safe, understood, and accepted.
And yes, entertained too! We also invite all our straight allies to listen as well!

______________________________________________

Podcast streams of past shows are here:

Dean

Dean, age 8
Great Falls, South Carolina (1981)

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father disappeared completely from my life. Later, my mother married a man that didn't want me around, and so I fell into the care of my grandparents. Although they took care of my physical needs, my emotional needs went largely unmet. I was rarely touched or held, and often craved those physical expressions of affection.

Growing up gay in a small town in South Carolina was very hard, to say the least.

Looking back, I always knew that I was different. Unfortunately, my peers knew it too, and I had very few friends.

Being a loner, I had a vivid imagination and very active fantasy life. I developed a huge crush on Bo Duke on "Dukes of Hazzard."

I didn't know what it meant, but my heart skipped a beat every time he slide across the General Lee.

I often imagined Bo spending time with me, doing things that fathers and sons did together. Such as fishing, working on cars, or helping me with my homework.

I was often the target of both physical and verbal bullies, and found very little solace at home as well. Halloween was my favorite time of year because I got to dress up, and I could be somebody else. Because I didn't really want to be me.

As I grew up and learned to like myself, I actually became grateful to all those bullies. Because it was their abuse that made me the strong person I am today. And I developed a thick skin and sharp wit to combat their insults and injuries.

And the imagination that I developed to help me cope with life's stress, helped me to discover myself as an artist and a writer.

As much as it hurt at the time, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. All those experiences made me who I am today: A strong, gay man who likes himself and loves his life. What more could you ask for?

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider (on "Dukes of Hazzard")
_________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


April 08, 2011

DJ

DJ, age 3
Prince George, Canada (1978)

I have only a brief flash of memory of this photo, but I have a happy memory of it. I was the kid that moved a lot, and finally laid roots in Sussex, NB Canada till I was 16. I was also the kid that everyone picked on.

The "gay" taunts started in 3rd grade, and were constant. I had a rough life at home, and somehow survived the cruel hell of school kids' taunts, fights, and abuse at home.

I didn't know I was gay till about 12, and my first boy crush was at 14. He was the boy next door that was just out of reach.

I had very few real friends, most of which were girls, and was NOT the popular kid.

I remember my fascination with Madonna in 1990, as I was "voguing" along with her in the video. Ditto with Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted" video.

Looking at this picture now, I think my smile is what got me through a lot of the hard times. I think being gay gives us a unique spirit, and it's a strong one.

If I had a message for those out there going through the rough times like I did,
I would have to say: It can't rain all the time.

If you stand up to be who you are, and don't give in to the hate, you will be the one driving the Mercedes. And those idiots that once taunted and hated you? They'll be washing it for you. I have seen it many times.

Karma has a funny way of dealing with those people. So just smile, and walk on.
There are better people out there for you.

After a lot of turmoil growing up gay in backwoods places, I am now in Calgary with my partner of 9 years. We are both out, and proud. I am living proof that "Fairy Tales" can come true. So hang in there, because it does happen.

DJ's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Will Wheaton (in "Star Trek: Next Generation")
River Phoenix & Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids On The Block)

Once a Trekkie, always a Trekkie...
____________________________________________________
Just a Geek Phoenix, River - Final 24: His Final Hours New Kids On The Block: Coming Home Political Institutions and Lesbian and Gay Rights in the United States and Canada (Routledge Studies in North American Politics)

Dennis

Dennis, age 7
Manila, Philipines (1978)

Mabuhay! I'm Dennis from the Philippines. I really like your blog, because it's so inspiring and uplifting. Recently, I created my own album of gay baby pictures on Facebook for my friends. But here, I wanted to add some more Asian flavor to your wonderful galleries.

This was shot during playtime/dragtime, with my female cousins and my brother. Look closely, and you'll see my heavy make-up - LOL!

Based on my pose, you can really and truly say that I was born with a "Type G" blood - GAY. But as a young child, I didn't know I was gay.

My parents were always very supportive, and didn't have negative reactions regarding my behavior.

Although, when I asked for a doll, they gave me a Humpty Dumpty stuffed toy instead.

I loved watching "Charlie's Angels," "Wonder Woman," and "Knots Landing" with my family. Being different wasn't an issue, but I grew up with an older brother, and attended an all-boys Catholic school.

Yes, I played basketball and other rough boys' games. But when I reached my teen years, this picture played a very important role in my life. When I saw it again about 6 years ago, a realization or confirmation happened.

The pose, the clothes, and specially the pout, reminded me that I was born gay. Then, this teen became a queen, and I lived happily ever after.

Thank you for your blog. And thank you, God - because I was born this way.
"We are the future, seeing the beginnings of another stage of human evolution."
- a quote from "X-Men"

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Scott Baio (in "Zapped")
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April 07, 2011

Jason

Jason, age 8
Page, Arizona (1984)

I'm the middle child in a family of 10 boys, no girls. My parents were (and still are) ultra-conservative Mormons. To top it all off, my dad was the Phys Ed. coach at our local middle school. Which, I suppose, makes him more of a lesbian?

I have so many funny memories from my childhood. Luckily, I was blessed with a healthy dose of innocence to protect me from the repressed social 'norms' all around me.

I knew from age 5 that I was attracted to other boys. All my best friends were girls, but all my crushes were boys.

Back then, I figured everyone felt that same way, so there was no need to talk about it. 

In my pic, all the obvious signs were there for the whole world to see:

Leather boots, bow tie, carrying my Cabbage Patch doll (named Clifford), and protectively mothering my younger brothers for the photo. That's Josh, Jacob, and Sam with me here.

What I wish I had, is a picture of my pink flannel E.T. night gown! My mother had received a box of donated clothes, and when I searched through them and found that 'gem', I became obsessed!

I would come home from school, take off my school clothes, and don my night gown. I was obviously very comfortable in it, because one day I wore it while riding bikes with my neighborhood friends. Which is when and a kid shot me (twice) with a BB gun! Imagine, my first gay hate crime at age 7!

I also remember my infatuation with Wonder Woman. It went beyond idolizing her - I wanted to BE her! I'd sneak around into our side yard and pray to God with every fiber in my being, to PLEASE let me turn into Wonder Woman.
I did the spin, and when nothing happened - I literally balled my eyes out!

There are certainly more stories, like drama class, choir, and being the only boy on the clogging team for 5 years. Yes, I was a River Dancer years before it became a cheese-tastic phenomenon.

All these years later, I'm so grateful for all the colorful experiences that shaped my childhood. I've gone through some struggles with my family, but I'm happy to say it's all been worth it. The biggest victories have come from being exactly who I am at all costs. And I can honestly say I'm proud of the man I am today.

It's my sincere belief that the best way we inspire others, is to live by example.

And I hope that the gay and lesbian youth of today continue to embrace the uniqueness, that is inherently ours for the taking!
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Patrick

Patrick, age 8
Pascagoula, MS (1988)

From an early age I was one of those little boys that liked to play dress up. I never cross dressed exactly, but feminine accessories interested me.

I was about 6 when my grandma caught me playing with her "robber purse", a decoy purse with a $10 bill she left lying around the house.

At 8, my cousin caught me trying on this French beret and scarf, seen in my pic. I guess I grew out of all this, as I'm not at all into fashion now, and never wear scarves.

I'd be lying if I said I knew from an early age I was gay. I suspected in high school, and didn't really deal with it until I was in college. The writing was on the wall though.

I did always know that I was a little different, and more quiet and contemplative than most kids. My favorite things in the world was watching "The Golden Girls," "Designing Women," and "Steel Magnolias" with my grandma.

This was all fun and normal to me, until I grew up enough to be tainted by the outside world's idea of what "normal" was.

My family was great though, always letting me just be myself. When I finally came out to my folks, their response was that they had suspected it since I was barely 5 years old!

There was actually a big "what if" discussion about it, when I came swishing into the room, as my parents and their friends sat around at a party. In hindsight,
I wish they would have told me.

My coming out may have been easy, but it didn't make growing up gay in small town Mississippi easy. Peers were not so understanding, and life was pretty tough until college. But as I have grown up, things have gotten better. And in college,
I finally began to integrate all the feelings I had been having.

The biggest thing I want kids to realize, is that all of those things that made me so different back then, just make me interesting and fun to others now. When I talk to my gay friends about growing up, most of them have had similar experiences.

So to all the questioning, curious, LGBTQ kids out there, I say: Hang in there!
Just be yourself, and it will all come out in the wash.

Patrick's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Michael J. Fox
____________________________________________________
The Golden Girls - The Complete First SeasonDesigning Women: Season ThreeA Time Before Me

Evan

Evan, age 6
Penang, Malaysia (1968)

I was a very shy and introverted kid. Being in an upper class family, I went to the best schools. But for some strange reason, kids in elementary school avoided me, so I did the same towards them.

I guess I first felt same-sex urges when
I was about 5. We had an adult male on staff in our house, and I recall being very attracted to him. One morning, before everyone was awake, I climbed into bed with him.

Nothing happened, but I felt a great sense of warmth and security. I liked it so much, I made it a habit to wake up early, just to snuggle in next to him.

Then one morning my elder sister "caught" me, and had a disgusted look on her face. It was enough to stop me from any further sleep-in's!

I never told anyone about my homosexuality until my late 20's.

Aside from a brief "encounter" with the family chauffeur, I never fooled around with another boy until I was 11. I wasn’t scared at all. In fact, I was very calm about the whole thing, while it lasted.

My intuition told me that my dad knew I was different, even if he didn't say much. He always told me I was his special child, so that might have been his way of acknowledging my difference.

I came out to my mom after dad died, which was a big mistake. She didn't do anything harsh, but she was totally cold. It was a good thing I'd been living on my own by then.

Evan's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Kevin Tighe (on TV's "Emergency")
I carried his autographed picture with me everywhere, and I was proud of it.
_____________________________________________________
Emergency Custom Framed 12x12 Color Photo (Kevin Tighe Randolph Mantooth)Utopia Guide to Malaysia (2nd Edition) : the Gay and Lesbian Scene in 17 Cities Including Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Johor Bahru and LangkawiBODY 2 BODY: A Malaysian Queer AnthologyStraight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together

April 06, 2011

Grant

Grant, age 4
Bay Area, California (1969)

In 1968, I was "The Flying Nun" for Halloween, as I was obsessed with her TV show. Everyone had a big laugh over the boy in a dress! But being so young,
I really didn't understand what all the fuss was about.


I kept wearing my magical dress for playtime, all the way through here, in the summer of '69. I started to sense that I was different from anyone I knew.

By the time I was 12, it dawned on me that I was gay. And I felt that if anyone found out about my attraction to boys, I would be utterly destroyed. I desperately did whatever it took to seem straight, like dating girls and playing football, etc.

By the time I was 25, I was like a dam with a thousand cracks in it, and I finally came out to my friends and family. They were all totally supportive, but it was tough for my parents at first. 

They came around though, and my dad ended up happily walking me down the aisle when I got married to my man, 4 years ago.

Today, I couldn't be happier with my amazing husband (we've been together for 7 years), our 2 dogs, and my job as an illustrator in New York.

If you feel alienated, or having trouble accepting who you are - hang in there! There is no "normal," and what you're trying to hide or suppress now, will soon become one of your greatest gifts. And a source of strength.

Just like that little boy in the nun dress, be true to yourself.
And you will learn to fly, too!

Grant's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Glen Campbell (singer)
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"