May 20, 2011

Dhanny

Dhanny, age 3
Caracas, Venezuela (1980)

When I was a child, I was like "the toy" in the house, because I'm the youngest of 4 children. I was a bit spoiled, and my one sister even walked the whole city, just to buy me an E.T. doll with lights on the finger and heart.


My childhood was as nice as possible, but I knew I was "different" as early as kindergarten. My teacher called my mom to tell her that I always held hands with another boy, and said it was "abnormal behavior." So the teacher put us in different classrooms. And I think this was the first time that I was "punished" because of my "natural selection" - haha!

I loved playing baseball, swimming, and riding my bike like most kids. But there was always something inside me that made me more soft. I excelled in art, drawing and acting. But when it came to baseball or football, I was the worst!

In high school, I even had a girlfriend! But with pressure about having sex, we had no choice but to break up and just be friends. She was actually a lesbian, and 10 years later we kissed, just to piss off our old friends.

I chose this picture, because it shows me trying to steal some grapes. And my family thought, "How cute! Click the camera!" But when it came to my sexuality, that was a subject not talked about in my house.

But now, I think they feel so natural in my life. My nephew and niece come to my home, and they love my partner. I have been blessed with my family, and I don't feel shame about anything.

I worry about today's kids, who still suffer hardship because of their sexuality.
But we are not aliens. And there is nothing wrong with us, or you.

As long as you respect yourself, you can be respected back. There is a bright future ahead, and it gets better every day. But the most important person we need to love, is ourselves.

Dhanny's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris on "Saved By The Bell")
I watched just to see 'the cute blond guy,' desperate to be his Kelly! 

Fernando

Fernando, age 4
Mexico City, Mexico (1979)

Ever since I can remember, I knew I was different from other kids. I liked things other boys didn't like, such as playing with my cousin's dolls, and wearing my mom's sunglasses, heels or makeup. The other boys liked the things I hated, like playing soccer or getting G.I. Joe dolls for Christmas.

I pretty much grew up that way, realized I was gay at age 13, and came out quite late, at age 23.

Looking back to my childhood, I feel very proud of the courage it took for me to stand up for what I believed in, and to dare to come out.

Especially considering the environment where I grew up: conservative and Catholic in upper-class Mexico city.

At the beginning, the process of coming out seemed hard and painful. Very close to impossible, actually. I felt as if I'd be the only homosexual my friends and family would ever have to deal with.

Pretty soon after I started the coming out process, I realized that wasn't the case. I had my friends' and family's support, but it took a little time.

And to my huge surprise, my three closest childhood friends turned out to be gay as well. No wonder we remained friends all those years!

May 17, 2011

Chris

Chris, age 2
E. Grand Forks, MN (1977)


I always felt like a fabulous fish out of water in my hometown in northern Minnesota. This picture perhaps does "scream gay" from my earliest days, one of three in a series of some of my favorite toddler pictures.
 

This was taken in the days of disco, when I enjoyed playing with dolls, banging the piano, and looking like a young, gay version of Hugh Hefner.
 

It was only the next year that I had my first kiddie crush on a boy. He was 8 and rode a dirt bike in my neighborhood.

Despite my eagerness to be with him, he and his friends brushed me off as any 8-year old would, to a 3-year old.

I had many boy crushes from TV: Jason Bateman on "Little House on the Prairie" and "Valerie," Mackenzie Astin on "Facts of Life," Todd Bridges on "Diff'rent Strokes," and Scott Baio on "Happy Days."

But I didn't know I was gay until much later, and didn't admit it to myself until I was 19. Nor to anyone else until I was 21.

If I'd known when this was taken (and many subsequent pictures that spoke the thousand words I could only hint at in my young imaginings), I would have told myself that everything would be OK. At least once I grew up and moved!

There was a lot of the world out there to see. And after I saw some of it, I got to appreciate where I came from, as well who I am and have always been.


Chris' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jason Bateman
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Teen Wolf TooThe Last Days of DiscoCasanova Smoking RobeSmall-Town Gay

Justin

Justin, age 7
Kendal, Cumbria, UK (1989)

I had two obsessions as a child - clothes and dancing. My mum took my sister to ballet lessons, which I insisted on attending. And to my father's utter disbelief, she actually dressed me in a leotard with ballet slippers. I even had leg warmers.

This concerned my father so much, he insisted I take rugby lessons to man me up. And I hated them.

Not because I didn't like rugby or that I was terrible playing it. I just felt really out of place.

The other boys on the team took an instant dislike to me. Eventually, my dad and I compromised, which meant taking tennis and cricket lessons.

So, I was allowed to keep dancing and drop the traumatic rugby lessons.

I never realized I was gay until I was 14, and was not comfortable with it until much later.


And I can remember the moment I knew: a friend brought a porn magazine to school. We were all fascinated, as none of us had seen a naked woman before.

I remember saying "I don't get it," and someone said "Well, you must be gay." This placed the seed of doubt in my mind. Weeks later I knew for sure, when a friend found his mum's very graphic videotape called "A Guide to Sex." The woman in it didn't interest me, only the man. And, my two best friends.

I don't know why it took so long for me realize who I was, or why I found being gay so difficult to accept. In my mind, being gay was a weakness. And at the time, I already felt flawed.

I decided to repress everything I felt was gay about myself. I regret doing that,
as it made me so unhappy. It was not until I started art school that I started to accept who I was. The moment I did, my life changed for the better.

Today, I'm a menswear designer. And I still love to dance.

May 16, 2011

Martin

Martin, age 7
Paris, France (1998)

This pic was taken at La-Ferrière-Sous-Jougne, a summer camp in the Jura.
This summer camp was really cool, and everybody was so open-minded.

It was definitely not a problem for me to wear makeup or to do drag or whatever.

All the adults were very sweet with "different" guys like me.

Being there was a real freedom for me. They were my family, and I could be exactly who I was, for real.

I was in love with David Bowie, and remember that I was remaking "West Side Story" in my head everyday.

When I look at this picture now, I feel so thankful to all the people there. They helped me to be the man I am today: Proud, strong, fierce, and happy.

And now, I'm giving back and trying to help LGBTQ youth by being a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, in Paris.

Claire

Claire, age 13
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia (1995)

This was taken in the Melbourne suburb I grew up in. I am the awkward-looking kid in braces on the left. I'm standing with my mum and dad, and my sisters, Eve and Chelsea. I remember that I'd had my orthodontic braces removed not long before this photo was taken, so I was feeling like a million bucks - even with the half-grown-out perm. FYI: perms were cool for exactly two weeks in 1995.


I was a geek at 13. I was an intense, avid bibliophile who was fond of old movies and musicals. When other kids were trying alcohol and cigarettes, I was reading "Wuthering Heights" or imagining I was Sally Bowles in "Cabaret."

I remember being aware of my sexuality at 13, and I had a crush on my English teacher and another student. But being a very widely read kid, I was able to intellectualize it as 'a natural time that many girls go through in their teens' - thank you, Dolly Magazine.

I was obsessed with "Beverly Hills 90210," focused on forming my grunge rock look, and loved watching Video Hits on Saturday mornings. I told everyone that Jason Priestly was my favorite 90210 star, but Shannen Doherty was the one I adored. I even had a poster on my wall of her in leathers on a red motorbike.

I never could understand why it seemed to unnerve my father, but now I know we just have the same taste in women.

I was able to intellectualize my sexuality right up until I came out at 20.
My parents struggled at first, especially my mum, but after a couple of years they came round and are now extremely supportive. As my cousin says:
"Your mum not only changed her stripes, she also bought the tiger."

If I were to give any advice to any same-sex attracted youth, it would be to come out when you feel are ready. And do so in a supportive environment.

That, and never ever get a perm, no matter how "in" it may seem at the time...

Claire's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Shannen Doherty

May 11, 2011

Jakob

Jakob, age 6
Montréal, Québec, Canada (1996)

Me and my two brothers and my sister were more or less raised gender-blind.
My sister used to play with cars and boys' toys and my brothers and I had dolls to play with, too. Nevertheless I'm the only gay one.

And yes, I was born this way.

Around 5th grade, I wasn't able to take my eyes off of other boys in the locker changing room. However, I didn't realize that I was gay.

Like everyone else, I thought one day I was going to marry a wife and start a family.

When I was a child, my parents rarely made me feel that they were by my side or able to console me or help me.

Or even to just listen to me.

So I learned to solve my problems on my own.

I did not comprehend that I was gay until I was around age 15, and I first came out to my best friend.

When I came out to my parents at 17, I felt nervous and dizzy.
But they accepted who I am, and nowadays we get along well with each other.

Jakob's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Pierre Boulanger (in "Mister Ibrahim & The Flowers of the Quran")
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Jonas

Jonas, age 8
Pernambuco, Brazil (1994)

I suffered a lot of bullying at school by walking around with the girls and not liking soccer/football.

I was the "different" kid in my class. I was "the fat, the freak, and the gay."

I remember at age 6 watching Britney Spears dancing on TV, and I knew the choreography for "...Baby One More Time."


I was so innocent back then. Now, I've gained the respect of my straight friends.
But, I am still struggling to gain acceptance from my parents.

However, I am very happy now.
And I wouldn't change anything about myself, because I was born this way.

Ken

Ken, age 8
Bay Area, CA (1989)

My parents and I spent the summer of 1989 with my mum's cousins in California.

13 years later, my mum told the same cousins that her son is gay.

"We knew since he was a kid," they replied. "You didn't know?"

My relationship with my mum got so much better after I came out to her.

It took her a few months to "digest the news."

But soon, she was telling all her close friends and relatives about me a year later.

May 09, 2011

Richard

Richard, age 2
Seattle, WA (1979)

Yup, that's me in a dress. I was 2, and a neighbor had given my stylish mom a hand-made, hand-me-down patchwork dress. And being their only child at the time, my folks thought it would be hilarious to have a little photo-shoot. As you can see, I enjoyed it a little too much.

Now, I'm not saying that my mom putting me in a dress made me gay.

I first knew something was up at age 11. I was being called gay and I didn't even know what it meant.

Remember kids, this was way before we could Google stuff.

Also then, I had a poster of MacGyver (my then favorite TV show) on my wall. I recall being drawn into Richard Dean Anderson’s seductive eyes, and we locked lips.

Well, my lips were locked onto a glossy poster over cool Gyprock plaster.

Through my first couple years of junior high, as much as I tried to keep on the down-low, I was subject to bullying. And I would fake being sick to stay at home. Ah, my thespian talents!

By senior year, I had taken those same thespian talents and won over my class, as I proudly owned up to my love of theater. And I let it be known that anyone who labeled it uncool was not worth my time.

It was also senior year that I secretly, semi-officially came out to my best girl friend (who I was rumored to be dating.) Despite being miles away, she continues to me be my rock and is there for me when I've needed her the most.

I came out to my parents when I was 19, after I moved to New York. They were confused and concerned at first, but they knew I wasn't a dummy. And they have always supported me in anything that made me happy.

How lucky am I to have such amazing parents? But looking back on this photo, how could I expect any less from them. They set up my first drag photo shoot!

Richard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Richard Dean Anderson (on "MacGyver")
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RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON 16X20 COLOR PHOTOHow To Raise An Amazing Child the Montessori WayThe Lady In Question is Charles BuschBeing Normal is the Only Way To Be: Adolescent Perspectives on Gender and School