November 28, 2012

Cal

Cal, age 5
Manchester, Maryland (1987)

I'm pictured on the right with my pants tucked into my boots so you could see how pretty they were. I was always told, 'Boys don't tuck their jeans into their boots, girls do.' I just know I always felt more comfortable doing things my way!


I like how happy I look in this picture with my friends. This is one of many pictures that just scream, "Come on! Were you surprised I'm gay? Really?" Recently I gathered my pictures from birth through high school. In this picture you see my smile, and see that I am happy.

But I soon realized I was different and knew I was gay. Those of us born this way have always known it on some level. Unfortunately, the older I got the more my smile went away. And that breaks my heart. I look at my pictures and I feel so much pain for a little boy that just wanted to be loved so badly.

If there is one good thing I can say and ask of anyone who reads this, it is this:

If parents notice their kids or their friends' kids aren't smiling anymore, find out why. And show them some love. Whenever you suspect that someone just needs some love, I would say 99% of the time it's an accurate intuition.

I hope that somehow my story will touch even one person to reach out and help someone's smile last longer than mine did. All it takes is a few minutes to extend love to someone, especially a child that is begging to be loved.
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  "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 16, 2012

Frank

Frank, age 10
Patton, Pennsylvania (1976)

Well, I think we can safely say by the age of 10 I was OUT! This photo was taken by a photographer from my home town newspaper. My uncle actually owned the newspaper business and my mother worked in the dark room.

Needless to say, when my mother was developing the film that afternoon, she was in shock!

The photographer knew who I was under my granny's wig and red mint, lipstick toothpaste. And of course, my sister's square dancing dress. None other than her co-worker's son! She couldn't resist capturing this moment on film.

Now, as a family we all laugh about this particular Halloween evening. I guess you could say it was my first Gay Pride Parade!

Both of my parent's were gone for the evening and left my brother in charge of babysitting me.


He went out to play with his friends and I was left to my own accord. So this
"ladygirl boy trying to be queer" was my shining LGBTQ moment from the 70's.

 I am one of the lucky ones whose parents let me be myself, and who supported me as much as they could throughout my childhood.

My advice to everyone is to be who you are and don't deviate for anyone!
YOU are the BEST YOU there is!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 07, 2012

Sofía

Sofía, age 2
Villa Mercedes, San Luis, Argentina (1987)

I remember as if it were yesterday when I said to my dad, "Paint a beard and mustache on my face." And I was so happy with my manly beard.

When I was 3 years old in kindergarten, my teacher told everyone to pick a card: yellow or pink for the girls, and blue or green for the boys. And I wanted green!

She tried to explain that I was a girl so I had to pick pink or yellow.
"I'm a girl, and I want green," I said.

I always felt "different" from the other girls, and I never liked boys.
I always felt a connection to girls, but it was all unconscious. It was if it was all a secret, even to myself.

At the age of 16 I realized that I was in love with my female best friend.

But as I was so scared, I never acted on those feelings. However, thanks to her,
I could start living my life as the lesbian I am. And it all finally became clear!

Now at age 26, I'm in love an enjoying every part of it with a girl who never thought she could love another girl. She's a very special person in my life, and we connected instantly when we met. I love the way she holds my hand when we walk down the street. It brings me peace.

I am glad that I always remained true to myself, and that I never tried to be with a boy, just so that my family or friends would accept me. Today they all accept and love me for who I am. Even my grandmother asks me, "How is your girlfriend?" and that means the world to me.

Morrissey once sang: "And if the people stare, then the people stare, I really don't know and I really don't care. There's no shame..." And that's my story today, too.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

November 01, 2012

Where To Get The Book

Hey everyone!

So the "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book has been out for almost a month now, and the response has been just amazing! It's getting some great reviews (both print and online) and on Amazon, and the feedback about the project is so positive and wonderful to see. I really appreciate it all!


You can find the book in all indie and large bookstores, Urban Outfitters,
and online in the various links too:


If you already have the book and want to share your thoughts about it, please write up your own review on Amazon or any of those links.  Reviews and traffic to those links really help keep the book visible and high on their new release charts.

On Sunday, November 4th at Palm Springs Pride,
Erasure's Andy Bell joined me for an incredible book signing for about 60 people, and Q-Trading Books sold out of all the copies they had!

Here's a photo of Andy and I at the signing:


And look how cute Andy Bell was as a wee lad.
You can read Andy's story inside the book!


Many, many thanks to everyone for supporting this project!
xo - Paul V.

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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

October 19, 2012

Bryant

Bryant, age 7
Plantation, Florida (1993)

I was one of the lucky ones with my family. From a very early age, my mother knew she had a gay son. She always tells the story of how I used to be obsessed with "The Little Mermaid" and how I REALLY wanted the Ariel Barbie doll.

Although my dad didn't approve, she bought the doll for my birthday.

And I took Ariel with me just about everywhere: to the store, to school for show and tell, and to our family gatherings.

One day we went to the beach and Ariel was right by my side. I wanted to go swimming in the ocean and it's only natural that I wanted to take my mermaid doll for a swim.

Unfortunately, due to a huge wave I lost grip of my beloved doll, and she was taken out to sea.


My dad swam out to try to save her, but it was too late. I was crushed and I cried for days. My mom said she was home under the sea, but I just couldn't get over it.

The next day I woke up to find a new Ariel Barbie and a note from my mother that said, "Look who came home!!!" And all was right in the world again.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

October 01, 2012

Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay Book!

Hey everyone! TODAY IS THE DAY!

My "Born This Way: Real Stories Of Growing Up Gay" book came out today, Tuesday October 9th! I am beyond thrilled, excited, and proud that I can share my book with all of you, and the world.

Huge thanks to everyone who shared their photo and story with me, and much gratitude for everyone who supported this project. It means everything!


Many of you fellow bloggers wrote about this blog very early on, and you are the reason there was so much buzz for BornThisWayBlog.com from the very beginning. So both myself and Quirk Books would like to make sure you can receive a complimentary copy of the book to review!

So to get your own review copy, here’s what to do: *

1. Email Eric Smith at: eric AT quirkbooks DOT COM. Send him your blog name, the URL of your blog, and your name. Eric is very nice. You'll like him, I promise.

2. Post your book review anytime during the months of October and November.

3. On the review page, please link to the book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble,
to Quirk Book's website, and to me - yours truly at BornThisWayBlog.com

And it's that easy!

I hope the rest of you will grab yourself a copy of the book, and help spread the word about it. Especially for "National Coming Out Day" on October 11th.

The book is also available online on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:
www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594745994/ref=as_li_ss_tl
www.barnesandnoble.com/w/born-this-way-paul-vitagliano

MANY MANY THANKS!
Paul V., your blogmaster and author


* Please note that there are a limited number of books available for review, so make sure you email Mr. Eric as soon as you can!
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September 16, 2012

Cricket

Cricket, age 7
Biloxi, Mississippi (1984)

My photo is from an Arts & Crafts fair I was at with my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousins. We were selling handmade monkey puppets that wrapped around your body. They wanted me to pose next to the rocking pony for a picture, and I didn't want to. Hence the sassy attitude, which I still have today.

I was raised in the suburbs of New Orleans, and my mom and dad were divorced before I was born.

My grandparents and an aunt raised me with a watchful eye.

I was not a shy boy, and I was very outgoing, artsy, and athletic. I loved tumbling, painting, volleyball, soccer, and cheerleading.

My father tried to get me to play more "manly" sports, but that never worked out.

I always felt different, and not like my cousins or anyone I knew.


I first realized I was gay was when a neighbor's son (a Marine) came to get me to drive me to where my father was with his friends.

We were walking down the street and he asked if I wanted to race. I said sure, and he took off like a bat out of hell. All I could look at was his butt. It was so perfectly round! I was so attracted to it, but didn't know what that feeling meant.

Today, I'm a dental assistant living in Chicago with barely any communication with my family. I feel my father is ashamed of me for being gay, and that most of my family is mad at me for leaving to try and pursue a life outside of the south.

But I'm still dancing and cheerleading, and I love it.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

August 30, 2012

Sara

Sara, age 10
Worcester, Massachusetts (1999)

The school photographer hated me because I refused to smile. He even made a note of it in my photo-packet, in case my parents got upset. They weren't though, once I explained that I wanted a "serious" picture, like the ones taken of them in the old country.

But really, my logic was: 'I'll be more handsome with a straight face and a leopard print collared shirt'.

I was teased around this age for my thick Persian accent, but more so for my androgyny. I didn't have a word for it then, but "Are you a boy or a girl?" was something I heard often.

Being the only nerdy, gay child of immigrant parents in a (trashy) white town, our family felt jealousy and resentment. All I ever wanted was to make the family proud, but I knew that my existence alone painted a target on their backs.

My parents used my good grades to excuse my gender-bending, and quickly changed the topic to that whenever the subject of my tomboy-ness came up.

My friends said "We always knew," my mom said "I don't want you to be denied ANY opportunity in life," and my dad said "Whatever makes you happy."

Personally, I never accepted the classical notions of "boys" and "girls" that they fed us in school, and neither did my peers, all of whom grew to love me. I pursued my goals and never apologized for being born a queer.

If any teens or pre-teens are reading this, just focus on your own well-being.

If you work at being a trustworthy, loving, and genuine person, those who really matter will recognize your worth, and who'll seek to earn your companionship.

Sara's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Julie Andrews in "The Sound Of Music"
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

August 15, 2012

Dan

Dan, age 1
Islip, New York (1967)

I don't remember this New Year's Day picture at a Fort Lauderdale beach, as I was still an infant. But as you can see, the cat was clearly already out of the bag!


It would remain out of the bag til this very day, and there wasn't a thing I or anyone else could do about it. I think my mom's expression show's a bit of shock, while my grandma is full of GLEE! My dad, as usual, was in his own world.

I was very different right from the get go. I was the toe-headed blond, while my sister and brother (8 and 10 years older than me) were both darker and brunettes.

As the story is told, my mother asked my sister and brother: "Do you want a baby or a puppy?" "Puppy!!!" they both exclaimed. "Too late," my mother replied.
And the rest was history...

Later in life, I would go on to create videos with fabulous divas like Madonna, Cher, Ann-Margret, and The Go-Go's. And now they call me "Dan-O-Rama."
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

July 24, 2012

Adrian

Adrian, age 7
Alhambra, California (1994)

The saying "I've always felt different" is very familiar to me. But throughout my life, I was more made to feel different. I remember the kids just sniffing my "difference" out of me like bloodhounds at the time. Children find anything that is not normal to them, and use it against someone. Because they can.

Desperate for the kids to like me, I'd comply with their commands of "Chase them away with your gayness!" when playing with them. They made me in to a prop rather than a friend in their silly games.

I wasn't into sports. But on the sidelines I'd pick up the ball and give it to the boy I had a crush on. Yet he would be the one who made fun of me for being "different."

I soon realized that they were using the word "gay" to hurt me, and the more it made me feel like an outcast, the more I denied it. I even forced crushes on girls that I knew weren't authentic.

I felt if I expressed these feelings for girls, they would finally like me. But that never happened. This treatment manifested into anger and a negative attitude through my teen years. I'd stay home every night and not allow myself to have fun. I was depressed, and I knew it was because I was gay.

I was bullied in high school, especially by one neanderthal in particular. It was almost as if each attack deterred me further from wanting to come out.

I'd use humor as a defense mechanism, because that was the one thing that came naturally to me, and it was the one thing that hid my depression. This suited me well in college, a place where I could be accepted for who I really am.

I found a GREAT group of friends who embraced my homosexuality, and for the first time in my life, I felt free. And I found confidence and pride in myself.

Now age 24, I came out to my parents. My father couldn't have been anymore fine with my being gay. My mother took it a little harder, but she says she loves me unconditionally. I never thought I'd see the day where my parents knew I was gay, let alone be okay with it. Even if they are still adjusting to it.

To the LGBTQ youth: Life is too short to feel miserable about who you are.
I spent the majority of my life unhappy, and I don't want that for you. If your family isn't supportive, find a group of friends or organizations that will support you. Never let anyone else define who you are; that is your job and you have the right to do so in your own time.

You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! It doesn't matter if you're a boy who likes boys, a girl who likes girls, or questioning your own gender - as long as you treat everyone with the respect and dignity every human deserves.

I might not know you, but I love you.
So stay strong, 'cause you were born this way, baby!
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"