March 04, 2011

Jimmy

Jimmy, age 11
Randle, Washington (1993)

Growing up in a small town the size of a highway was never easy. Boys definitely played boy roles, and girls played girl roles. And I was caught in the middle, and always felt closer with girls my whole life. I also felt I had to be a girl in order to be with a boy, and I didn't know what "gay" was. I had that feeling until age 11, and then my mindset changed, and I finally stopped asking God why.

I figured out that I liked who I was, and I could be with a boy and stay a boy. I never felt like I was a girl, so why change that?

I was always teased because I was much more feminine than anyone else in my school.

I always tried to act tougher, but it was never me, nor did it fool anybody. And when I tried to change who I was, it only made things worse.

But along with the teasing, threats ruled my life. I came home from school many times crying, running into my mother's arms. And, asking her what a "f*g" was.

I'm lucky that my mom and dad were always there for me. Maybe it's because they saw what I went through daily, or that I had a bit more skip to my step.

Now every step I take is with my head held high, instead of looking towards the ground and hoping nobody screams anymore names at me. 

All the good and the bad from my childhood made me the man who I am today, and I love that person. I left that small town and now live in San Francisco, where I can walk down any street holding my partner's hand without fear.

In the near future we hope to adopt and expand our family, and we've been chatting about it on our blog, DaddiesJourney. In the end, it was all worth it.

Jimmy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")
I remember growing up and dreaming about Slater
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MARIO LOPEZ 8x10 Photo Signed In-Person Gay Fatherhood: Narratives of Family and Citizenship in America Loving Ourselves: The Gay and Lesbian Guide to Self-EsteemSmall Town Gay Bar


March 02, 2011

Joshua

Joshua, age 7
San Diego, California (1991)

This picture says a mouthful of words to me. I remember growing up, I always felt different. At first I thought it was just because I was an entertainer. I was the kid always hosting the family parties and putting on a show.

When I got older I realized that I didn't really have many male friends, and I always wanted to be the Pink Power Ranger - LOL!

I didn't have a gender-identity issue, I just knew I was a bit more "girly".

Then I saw George Michael's "Faith" video on VH1 before school one day, and it all made sense. That cowboy boot upon the jukebox drove me insane!

George made me all tingly inside, and those swaying hips made me swoon. Oh, how I just wanted to run my young fingertips through that greasy hair!

It all makes sense that I was born this way. And helped form the me of today:
International Drag Superstar, Rhea Litre'

Joshua's first, famous-person same sex crush:
George Michael
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"



Karin

Karin, age 4
Sacramento, California (1964)

My mom made me this Mary Poppins costume, and I loved it so much, I slept in it. Mary Poppins flirted with Bert, but I was always sure it wasn’t serious. Mary happily lived alone, refused to take directions from men, and as far as I'm concerned, she is more than my first crush - she's my blueprint for life.

I wanted to be the way she was in the world, plus I wanted to be practically perfect in every way.

I thought Julie Andrews was quite wonderful, but Mary was the one I loved.

From early on, I knew I didn't want men ruling my life. But it wasn't until I was a teenager I realized it wasn’t about men at all - it was about women.

Women are awesome.

I've always liked love stories, and once wrote a story about a young girl who saves a troubled Queen from a terrible marriage. They run away together and live happily ever after. If my 5th-grade teacher thought that was strange, she didn't say so. Maybe because on the outside I looked so normal.

I liked Barbies and Mary Poppins and pretty clothes. I was as normal as normal could be, except for the not ever dating boys part. And while I was publicly very crushed out on Bobby Sherman's dreamy eyes, my heart, body and soul belonged to Batgirl. As Julie Gordon, she was a librarian; and as Batgirl she rode a purple motorcycle and fought in those great boots. Unlike Bobby Sherman, she gave me serious tingles.

This photo reminds me of that conviction that I could make the world the way I liked it. Just like Mary Poppins did, even if I couldn't sing or slide up a banister. And in that world I would be the kind of normal I was born to be.

Turns out my normal is being a lesbian, a girly-girl who likes girls, a mom,
a romantic, and a writer. But it doesn’t include being practically perfect in every way. Alas...

Karin's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Julie Andrews ("Mary Poppins")
Yvonne Craig (Batgirl on "Batman")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 01, 2011

Jeff

Jeff, age 10
Wichita, Kansas (1971)

I can't remember a time when I wasn't attracted to other guys. Lucky for me, my little sister had a Barbie Dream House and a stack of Tiger Beat magazines.

"I loved Abba!"

In grade school, I hated sports. The other boys used to make fun of me for preferring art class instead of football.

I finally joined the track team, to please my mom and convince my friends that I was somewhat masculine.

HATED IT...

Being gay was completely unacceptable in my family in the 1970's.

So I spent my youth hiding my true feelings, and trying to please everyone but myself.


In my late teens, I was wracked with the desire to be with another young man, but had no idea how to go about it without blowing my cover.

Luckily, I had met a gay man when I was 17. He spent the next three years trying to convince me that I was gay, despite my complete and utter denial.

I accepted his invitation to visit California that summer, and landed right in the middle of the gayest place in the USA! I came out at the 1983 San Francisco Gay Pride Parade. I will never forget "What A Feeling" by Irene Cara, blaring loudly from a parade-float full of shirtless men in the middle of Market Street!

Jeff's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Donny Osmond
His black hair and pearly white teeth filled me with such desire.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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