Justin

Justin, age 7

Kendal, Cumbria, UK (1989)

I had two obsessions as a child - clothes and dancing. My mum took my sister to ballet lessons, which I insisted on attending. And to my father's utter disbelief, she actually dressed me in a leotard with ballet slippers. I even had leg warmers.

This concerned my father so much, he insisted I take rugby lessons to man me up. And I hated them.

Not because I didn't like rugby or that I was terrible playing it. I just felt really out of place.

The other boys on the team took an instant dislike to me. Eventually, my dad and I compromised, which meant taking tennis and cricket lessons.

So, I was allowed to keep dancing and drop the traumatic rugby lessons.

I never realized I was gay until I was 14, and was not comfortable with it until much later.


And I can remember the moment I knew: a friend brought a porn magazine to school. We were all fascinated, as none of us had seen a naked woman before.

I remember saying "I don't get it," and someone said "Well, you must be gay." This placed the seed of doubt in my mind. Weeks later I knew for sure, when a friend found his mum's very graphic videotape called "A Guide to Sex." The woman in it didn't interest me, only the man. And, my two best friends.

I don't know why it took so long for me realize who I was, or why I found being gay so difficult to accept. In my mind, being gay was a weakness. And at the time, I already felt flawed.

I decided to repress everything I felt was gay about myself. I regret doing that,
as it made me so unhappy. It was not until I started art school that I started to accept who I was. The moment I did, my life changed for the better.

Today, I'm a menswear designer. And I still love to dance.

Martin

Martin, age 7

Paris, France (1998)

This pic was taken at La-Ferrière-Sous-Jougne, a summer camp in the Jura.
This summer camp was really cool, and everybody was so open-minded.

It was definitely not a problem for me to wear makeup or to do drag or whatever.

All the adults were very sweet with "different" guys like me.

Being there was a real freedom for me. They were my family, and I could be exactly who I was, for real.

I was in love with David Bowie, and remember that I was remaking "West Side Story" in my head everyday.

When I look at this picture now, I feel so thankful to all the people there. They helped me to be the man I am today: Proud, strong, fierce, and happy.

And now, I'm giving back and trying to help LGBTQ youth by being a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, in Paris.

Claire

Claire, age 13

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia (1995)

This was taken in the Melbourne suburb I grew up in. I am the awkward-looking kid in braces on the left. I'm standing with my mum and dad, and my sisters, Eve and Chelsea. I remember that I'd had my orthodontic braces removed not long before this photo was taken, so I was feeling like a million bucks - even with the half-grown-out perm. FYI: perms were cool for exactly two weeks in 1995.

I was a geek at 13. I was an intense, avid bibliophile who was fond of old movies and musicals. When other kids were trying alcohol and cigarettes, I was reading "Wuthering Heights" or imagining I was Sally Bowles in "Cabaret."

I remember being aware of my sexuality at 13, and I had a crush on my English teacher and another student. But being a very widely read kid, I was able to intellectualize it as 'a natural time that many girls go through in their teens' - thank you, Dolly Magazine.

I was obsessed with "Beverly Hills 90210," focused on forming my grunge rock look, and loved watching Video Hits on Saturday mornings. I told everyone that Jason Priestly was my favorite 90210 star, but Shannen Doherty was the one I adored. I even had a poster on my wall of her in leathers on a red motorbike.

I never could understand why it seemed to unnerve my father, but now I know we just have the same taste in women.

I was able to intellectualize my sexuality right up until I came out at 20.
My parents struggled at first, especially my mum, but after a couple of years they came round and are now extremely supportive. As my cousin says:
"Your mum not only changed her stripes, she also bought the tiger."

If I were to give any advice to any same-sex attracted youth, it would be to come out when you feel are ready. And do so in a supportive environment.

That, and never ever get a perm, no matter how "in" it may seem at the time...

Claire's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Shannen Doherty

Jakob

Jakob, age 6

Montréal, Québec, Canada (1996)

Me and my two brothers and my sister were more or less raised gender-blind.
My sister used to play with cars and boys' toys and my brothers and I had dolls to play with, too. Nevertheless I'm the only gay one.

And yes, I was born this way.

Around 5th grade, I wasn't able to take my eyes off of other boys in the locker changing room. However, I didn't realize that I was gay.

Like everyone else, I thought one day I was going to marry a wife and start a family.

When I was a child, my parents rarely made me feel that they were by my side or able to console me or help me.

Or even to just listen to me.

So I learned to solve my problems on my own.

I did not comprehend that I was gay until I was around age 15, and I first came out to my best friend.

When I came out to my parents at 17, I felt nervous and dizzy.
But they accepted who I am, and nowadays we get along well with each other.

Jakob's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Pierre Boulanger (in "Mister Ibrahim & The Flowers of the Quran")

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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Jonas

Jonas, age 8

Pernambuco, Brazil (1994)

I suffered a lot of bullying at school by walking around with the girls and not liking soccer/football.

I was the "different" kid in my class. I was "the fat, the freak, and the gay."

I remember at age 6 watching Britney Spears dancing on TV, and I knew the choreography for "...Baby One More Time."


I was so innocent back then. Now, I've gained the respect of my straight friends.
But, I am still struggling to gain acceptance from my parents.

However, I am very happy now.
And I wouldn't change anything about myself, because I was born this way.

Ken

Ken, age 8

Bay Area, CA (1989)

My parents and I spent the summer of 1989 with my mum's cousins in California.

13 years later, my mum told the same cousins that her son is gay.

"We knew since he was a kid," they replied. "You didn't know?"

My relationship with my mum got so much better after I came out to her.

It took her a few months to "digest the news."

But soon, she was telling all her close friends and relatives about me a year later.

Richard

Richard, age 2

Seattle, WA (1979)

Yup, that's me in a dress. I was 2, and a neighbor had given my stylish mom a hand-made, hand-me-down patchwork dress. And being their only child at the time, my folks thought it would be hilarious to have a little photo-shoot. As you can see, I enjoyed it a little too much.

Now, I'm not saying that my mom putting me in a dress made me gay.

I first knew something was up at age 11. I was being called gay and I didn't even know what it meant.

Remember kids, this was way before we could Google stuff.

Also then, I had a poster of MacGyver (my then favorite TV show) on my wall. I recall being drawn into Richard Dean Anderson’s seductive eyes, and we locked lips.

Well, my lips were locked onto a glossy poster over cool Gyprock plaster.

Through my first couple years of junior high, as much as I tried to keep on the down-low, I was subject to bullying. And I would fake being sick to stay at home. Ah, my thespian talents!

By senior year, I had taken those same thespian talents and won over my class, as I proudly owned up to my love of theater. And I let it be known that anyone who labeled it uncool was not worth my time.

It was also senior year that I secretly, semi-officially came out to my best girl friend (who I was rumored to be dating.) Despite being miles away, she continues to me be my rock and is there for me when I've needed her the most.

I came out to my parents when I was 19, after I moved to New York. They were confused and concerned at first, but they knew I wasn't a dummy. And they have always supported me in anything that made me happy.

How lucky am I to have such amazing parents? But looking back on this photo, how could I expect any less from them. They set up my first drag photo shoot!

Richard's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Richard Dean Anderson (on "MacGyver")

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Martin

Martin, age 4

Orlando, Florida (1980)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is worth one word: queer. To be completely honest, I don't remember the moment this photo was taken while we were visiting Disneyworld. I do however, remember quite clearly, that as a child I was intrigued by all things glamorous.

Through the innocent eyes of a little Latino gay boy, what's more glamorous than a 6 ft 3 mouse-woman - in a red and white polka dot dress, with super luscious eyelashes, giant yellow pumps, and puffy white gloves? The answer is nothing.

Nothing is more fabulous than Minnie Mouse and her trademark blue
eye-shadow. NOTHING!

The 4-year old Martin, almost instinctively, already knew this to be true. And I think it can be safely said that Minnie Mouse was my first drag queen sighting.

When I look at this picture, I imagine time traveling back to the year 1980. Then I picture grown-up Martin standing in front of tiny Martin, and hugging him and telling him that everything will be okay. And my heart breaks for the difficulty that awaits this sensitive and creative kid.

What I see here is a little boy who is trying to figure out how a fabulous glove was stitched so perfectly. And when I look at this photo, I also wonder how my father could have been disappointed? This is a child with imagination!

He wants to make music and wonderful things and draw lovely pictures.
And so what if he punches like a girl? This boy deserves love.

If I were to show you the uncropped image, you'd also see my mother and my sister. But to me, this moment is not about my family. This moment is about Martin and Minnie. Two souls that understand each other.

This moment is about a gay boy's bliss. He is still unaware of ridicule and discrimination. He is still innocent. He is in love with the construction of a fabulous costume. He seems to know the power of artifice.

And he isn't ashamed quite yet.

Martin's first, famous-person same sex crush:
He-Man, The Most Powerful Man in the Universe
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Joshua

Joshua, age 12
San Luis Obispo, CA (1989)

I guess this was my "Brokeback Mountain" phase. My mom's side of the family were all cowboys, and this was taken right before I completely gave up on trying to fit in.

I always knew I was "different" than other little boys. I loved to put on makeup and play dress up.

And I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer or Wonder Woman when I grew up.

I don't do well with labels, but I guess if I had to pigeonhole myself,
I would identify as gender queer.

Because when I read the definition of gender queer for the first time, it sounded just like me.


I've been married to a woman, I've procreated, and I've had sex with men and women. I'm capable of having crushes on either, but one thing I've never felt,
is confusion. I always knew just who I was. And that was just - me.

If you're young and queer, be proud.
You will always be cooler than everyone else.
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Joel

Joel, age 7

Houston, TX (1977)

This photo was shot in Galveston, Texas where I still often retreat for all the good memories of being at the beach. My cousins, my brother, sister, and I all grew up kind of like siblings. We all got attention in our own way.

I loved watching the "Super Friends" and Godzilla movies on Saturday mornings.
I was not too precocious, but I was different.

I was often the gentler boy, and I knew I was gay in junior high school. But I was a husky, so no one really messed with me or picked on me, except my own brother. While I could have done without his bullying, in some ways, it made me a fighter.

My story is not as horrifying as what could have been, but my Southern Baptist faith and fear of God kept me in the closet until I was 34. Thankfully, my mom and dad were supportive when I came out. And my pivotal moment was a collision of faith and identity, as the Bible says "The truth shall set you free."

So I held on to that promise. I thought it was worse lying about myself, than facing the truth about how I love.

So my message to the LGBTQ youth of today is: Stay true to yourself.
The only ones you are accountable to are yourself, and your God.

Joel's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ricky Schroeder (in "Silver Spoons")
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