July 05, 2011

Denise

Denise, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1963)

I would have thought that being thrown out of the Girl Scouts when I was 8 -
for being caught in my sleeping bag with one of my female camp counselors - would have tipped someone off!

Like many before me, I knew early on I was "different" but so afraid to name it.
I didn't want to be a disappointment to my parents and family. Growing up in a large Italian family was tough enough.

Being a lesbian would have destroyed them. Or so I thought. Of course, like most Italian families, we didn't dare talk about such things!

I tried to be correct in my clothes choices and my dating, etc. Although always in sports (clue #2), I pretty much stuck to myself except for the occasional date with a guy to keep my family happy.

I eventually met a nice man named James.
And he put up with a lot from me.

James and I married, and I struggled the entire marriage to make it feel "right." And I wanted to be "normal" in the worst way. We finally divorced and went our separate ways when I met a woman at work, who turned my world upside down.

I officially came out to my family then. And guess what? They weren't surprised!
I was prepared for drama that never came; only love for me through my journey.

I eventually met my current partner in 1983. And we have been friends, lovers, and partners in life ever since. We have 2 beautiful teenage sons, own our own businesses, and a home in Denver, CO. And although our state doesn’t recognize our relationship, all the people that matter and mean the most to us, do.

One day, hopefully soon, we may be able to get legally married.
So my message is this: It does get better. Stay true to you.
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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June 28, 2011

Donald

Donald, age 11
Omaha, Nebraska (1981)

Only a young gay boy could strike a pose with a 5-pound carp! And this photo sums up my childhood. I enjoyed being outside playing in the dirt, climbing trees, fishing, and doing archery. No girly stuff. This, despite having two older sisters who dressed me up in pigtails and paraded me around the neighborhood once. I just consider myself an unwilling participant that day.

I always felt "different" as I was an introvert, and not into sports.

And I didn't feel comfortable around my peer group.

My mom always told me that I was just "3 steps ahead" of my friends, so I came to believe my "differentness" was simply being more advanced than my peers.

My first (and only) gay experience was with my childhood friend, when I was about 11.

I was over at his house and he "accidentally" touched me - and I "accidentally" touched him right back. It was awesome!

We did this off and on for a few years, until we drifted apart.

I held on to those memories but I never dared to repeat the experience, because of the shame and guilt. The word "gay" never entered into my vocabulary until about 7-years ago, when I actually figured out that I was gay. This, after being married for 7 years and having 2 absolutely wonderful sons.

Because I never identified as gay, I had a relatively normal childhood.
In fact, I've only been called "freak" and "offensive" to my face, by my own wife!

I'm out to both our immediate families. My family is just fine with me, though we never actually talk about it. I sometimes wonder:

Did my mom know all along?

I have a lot of sorting out to do, and I am fearful yet hopeful for my uncertain future. I look at my photo now and just wish that I could be that naïve boy again. I wasn't afraid back then.

So my advice to the youth of today is:
One of the greatest fears, is the fear of being yourself. So get over that fear!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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June 23, 2011

Noelle

Noelle, age 4
St. Charles, Missouri (1987)

I think that I realized that I was different at a fairly young age. I grew up a "tomboy" that used to melt my sisters' Barbie dolls in the microwave. I loved to play outside and was always in overalls and my saddle shoes.

One of the last times I wore a dress was at an 8th grade dance. I hated dresses and skirts back then. I still do.

Jeans, t-shirts, or a button-down with a tie is about all you'll catch me wearing as an adult.

I didn't actually come out until just a few years ago, when I was 24. Despite having a more than supportive family, for the longest time I kept telling myself that it wasn't true I was gay.

I even thought that the kind of music
I listened to, (primarily heavy rock) would prove that I couldn't be gay.

Not because of fear of not being accepted, but more so that I thought it would make my life difficult. Boy, was I wrong...

Now that I am out, I couldn't be happier about it. I'm very proud of who I am and want younger people to know that things DO GET BETTER.
I was very fortunate to have such an accepting family and amazing friends.

Not everyone is as fortunate. But I know that those people wouldn't change who they are for the world. And if their families don't accept them, then they create their own with the loving people around them. "Family" doesn't necessarily mean blood-related.

The world is changing and people are slowly evolving.
Hang in there and ALWAYS be yourself. Besides, everyone else is taken!

Noelle's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
Joyce Hyser (in "Just One of the Guys")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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June 21, 2011

Kellie

Kellie, age 4
Ector, TX (1973)

When I was little, I often wondered how long it would be until I was big enough to drive that tractor. That day I was obviously too little, so I played on it and sang "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy. I don't remember doing it, but I know that is the song, because my lovely mother noted it on the back of the picture.


When I was in 2nd grade my teacher called my parents in and told them she thought I was gay. I suppose I was posturing in a way that was too masculine for her liking. I never knew of this accusation, or even what "gay" was at that time. But when I came out in my mid 20's, my mother told me about it.

I had frequent crushes on girls - sometimes my best friend, but not always - mainly starting in high school. I had 3 different boyfriends then and into college, but they just served the purpose of someone to go to events and dances with.

I kept my sexuality under tight wraps until I was in graduate school. The only hard part about coming out was watching my parents cry. And cry, they did.
But they came around a few months later.

Today, I am a completely out gay in a smallish town in Texas. I've been called a dyke on a few dozen occasions. "That's Dr. Dyke to you," I respond, with a smile. I love being gay, and I can't begin to imagine being any other way.

When I look at this photo now, I think about how big that tractor seemed to me back then. As a grown-up, on occasion, I drive much bigger tractors than this.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 20, 2011

Drew

Drew, age 6
Pleasant, PA (1970)

I clearly remember when I was very young, I saw a TV toothpaste commercial, showing a mom, dad, and kids who had no cavities by brushing with Crest. Watching that commercial, I knew in my heart my life would be nothing like that. In other words, a life with no wife, and no kids.

It was scary, because I had no idea what was waiting for me instead. That, in essence, was the story of my childhood. I couldn't imagine what
I was going to grow up to become.

So I read every book I could get my hands on, hoping to find any possible way for me to become a man.

Our mom died just before I turned 4.
But lucky for me, I had a sister, 13-years my senior. She was a gorgeous hippie chick in her mid-20's, with tons of men chasing her.

Every Friday night, she took me out roller skating or to the movies. She was the first person who I came out to at age 17, even though I didn't mean to do that.

She made a point of introducing me to friends of hers who were gay and lesbian. And they were balanced, happy, loved, and loving adults. Slowly, I came to understand that there was, or there would be, a place for me in the adult world.

Today, I live in the California desert with the man I love and our two dogs.
I've had an amazing and wonderful life, and I'm sure that there is more to come.

Alas, though: Despite all the brushing and flossing I do, I have never once in my life gone to the dentist and been free of a cavity.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 19, 2011

Gordon

Gordon, age 5
Caneadea, New York (1959)

Looking at this photo, I have more questions than answers. Who is that man? He looks exactly like my father. And, he looks like a loving dad spending quality time with my sister and me. But, I certainly don't remember him ever doing anything like that. Notice the grumpy look on my face, testifying to the fact that I was coerced into posing for this, when all I wanted to do was to get away.


My mother abandoned us when I was about 10-years old. My father was a spoiled only child who, as an adult, was never around kids until he married late in life, and then we came along. He was never mean or strict, but he was never close or affectionate, either. And he never taught me anything.

But, I can't blame him. He simply didn't know what to do with kids.

Did he know that I was gay? Probably.
But he never said anything, and I never felt the need to say anything myself.

I went to a very small school where I don't remember ever hearing the word, "gay." So, I can look back and be thankful that I was never bullied. In class,
I always sat among the girls, where I felt like I fit in.

I wasn't interested in anything that the boys were talking about.
Not surprisingly, I was terrible at sports and hated gym class.

It's hard to say when it was that I first knew that I was gay. I can remember,
as a young teenager, my attraction to an underwear model whose picture I saw in a catalog. But, I didn't know that my feelings meant anything unusual.

Gordon's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Richard Egan (in "A Summer Place")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

Eduardo

Eduardo, age 5
Queens, NY (1995)

My childhood was a humble one. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my mom, dad, and sister. My elementary school was about 5 blocks from home, and that's where this picture was taken. I can't find the uncropped photo, but my sister's stroller is what I'm leaning on for this diva pose.

I chose this pic because, in addition to the pose, it was around this age I noticed how "different" I was.

In the 3rd grade, I was some sort of Hawaiian character in our class play. I, of course, put on my outfit (complete with a grass skirt) and decided to swing my hips for my parents. You know, just like the women on TV.

Their reaction? My dad said "girls dance like that" while my mom just laughed it off.

I would always play with girls on the playground, while I tried to become "best friends" with the cutest guy in my grade.

At this age, I was obsessed with the Power Rangers, specifically the Red one. When he left the series,
I was devastated and never watched the show again.


Looking at this picture is refreshing. I've grown a lot and I've had my fair share of experiences – some of them bad. Bad enough to make me wonder if I've lost a bit of who I used to be.

But this photo also reassures me that I am the same person today that I was when I was 5: All smiles, carefree, excited, and with a bit of 'tude.

Also now, I'm a part of BornLikeThis.org, which is a safe space created for youth, by youth. We exist for those who, like ourselves, openly identify as members of the LGBTQ community, and who realize they were born like this, too – whatever their personal "this" might be.

My advice to others is to be yourself.
And to know that there will always be someone there for you.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 18, 2011

Jamie

Jamie, age 8
Coolum Beach, NSW, Australia (2004)

I know I'm a fair bit younger than most of the people here, but I figure that you're never too young to be proud. This is me and my friend Amber, hanging out after a theater production I was in. While I don't wear makeup in general, this photo shows who I am: A fun, proud, and slightly flamboyant person.


I kind of always knew I was gay, I just never knew the word for it.
Through grade school and even in high school, I had multiple girlfriends,
and I didn't think anything of it. I came out in 10th grade to most of my friends and family, and they weren't surprised at all.

All of my friends are fine with me being gay, and so is most of my family.
There is of course the expected bantering at school, but it's nothing really.

Looking back at this picture, as a wise beyond my years young man,
I can see I was happy then. Which even now, makes me happy.

My message to everyone who is gay, straight or another genre not mentioned:
Don't worry about who you are. At the end of the day, life's too short to care about whether or not people like you.

Thanks for your time. I really love your blog!

Jamie's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Neil Patrick Harris
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How I Met Your Mother: The Complete Sixth SeasonFree Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth and Their AlliesQueer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for TeensThe Rough Guide to Gay & Lesbian Australia (Rough Guide Travel Guides)

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 17, 2011

Brooke

Brooke, age 12
Cottonwood, CA (1994)

I grew up in a small town in N. California. I first knew I was different at age 6, when I told someone on the school bus that I wished I was a boy. I also vaguely remember having a moment then, when I learned what being gay meant. And I wondered if I was, despite not having feelings of attraction towards either gender.

Wait, I think I take that back...

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure buying my 2nd grade teacher's aide a massive cubic zirconium ring was an attempt to woo her.

It didn't work, but she was outta my league anyway. And I did have other crushes, too: My 4th grade teacher - *swoon* - and a summer camp counselor.

I've always been a major "tomboy" and I've always prided myself on my athleticism.

I started playing basketball at the age of 8, and was the only girl on the team. Although, my coach thought he had an all boy team.

I have very early memories of people always confusing my gender with male, even before I cut my hair. While on the inside I felt that my short hair was what I wanted, I was still uncomfortable with people's reactions to my appearance.

Thankfully, I've finally grown into my skin. I feel comfortable with who I am, despite others being confused by my masculine appearance.

Today, I'm grateful for a loving family that only cares about my happiness, and who have been very supportive throughout my coming out process. I couldn't be happier with where I am in life, including marrying my fiance' this fall.

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Helen Hunt (on "Highway To Heaven")
Susan Sarandon (in "The Client")
I envied that boy, and I wanted her to be my lawyer
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Matthew

Matthew, age 3
Virginia Beach, VA (1992)

As a kid, I fondly remember the memories I have of playing with my Barbies.
I loved girly things, and I was always carrying my dolls around with me in my big pink Barbie suitcase. And my first love was the Black Power Ranger.

I didnt realize I was different until 4th grade, when a boy called me gay. And he stole my innocence that day.

I didn't like myself from then on, well until I was around age 16.

If there is one thing I could tell myself back then, and other young gay kids now, it is this:

Love yourself, and be who ever you want to be. Because until you love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you back? It's hard, but dry those tears - it does get better.

One day you to will find someone who loves you exactly as you are.

Looking back on this photo, I'm proud. I'm proud I wasn't afraid to express my love for beautiful things, just as I'm not afraid to express it now.

I am me, myself, and I - and I was born this way after all.

Now, I'm in my 20's and I'm engaged to marry my partner.
And he's my personal Power Ranger now! :)

Matthew's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Walter Jones (the first "Black Power Ranger")
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Power Ranger Colors Black Ranger [VHS]Power Rangers - Lost Galaxy - Return of Magna Defender [VHS]The Good, the Bad, and the Barbie: A Doll's History and Her Impact on UsLesbian and Gay Richmond (Images of America: Virginia)

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"