August 19, 2011

Randy

Randy, age 2
Roxbury, CT (1953)

I was the seventh of eight kids.
As a child, I always loved books, Christmas, and anything fantastic or magical. This photo was shot during Christmas, 1953.

Unfortunately, our dad was a recluse and a compulsive eater. And he failed to protect us from our Jekyll and Hyde, alcoholic, pedophile mother.

Or from my abused, mentally ill older brother, who terrorized and humiliated me for being sensitive and empathetic.

At age 12 I discovered muscle magazines, and realized I was sexually attracted
to men. It took me many years to accept that this was OK. I even converted to Fundamentalist Christianity to escape my sexuality. Of course, it didn't work.

I am 60 now, and glad to be gay despite my PTSD diagnosis, and the fact that being overweight marginalizes me in gay culture.

Randy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robin Hood
I longed to be part of his band of Merry Men, who would keep me safe.
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The Adventures of Robin Hood (Two-Disc Special Edition)America's Boy: A MemoirDamaged in ServiceCreating the Modern Man: American Magazines and Consumer Culture, 1900-1950

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

August 15, 2011

Sarah

Sarah, age 4
Tuscon, Arizona (1979)

For this kindergarten photo, I told the photographer I wanted a "serious picture." But the more he tried to make me smile, the more serious I got. And I do NOT like this dress. I wanted to wear my fireman's hat, which I was usually allowed to do, as my parents weren't really invested in any particular gender expression.

I love this picture because of its emotional honesty: I'm not smiling because I don't feel like smiling. And no one was going to push me into feeling or doing something I don't want.

While this is harder to accomplish as an adult, it's always my goal.

At this age, I knew I was a little different, and had a nascent crush on my kindergarten teacher. But I didn't yet have the words for it.

I went on to be viciously bullied in middle school, and I hope those kids are all in jail now.

Today, I have a loving partner and a diverse group of friends, and I became a writer and a teacher.

Bigoted speech -- especially the phrase "That's so gay" -- is forbidden in my classroom. Consequences are swift and severe, if I hear it.

My message to LGBTQ youth is:
Respect yourself! And do not "ignore" the bullying, because it doesn't work.
It only makes you more vulnerable; more victimized.

Bullies can tell when you're "ignoring" them, and it makes them want to do whatever they can to make you crack. The onus for stopping bullying is NOT on you -- it's on the bully, as well as the adults in charge.

You must keep talking, keep complaining, and keep demanding that something
be done - UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE. Look your principal in the eye, and be sure to mention Jamie Nabozny - who won a huge federal lawsuit against his school administrators for failing to stop anti-gay harassment.

Lastly, keep saving your money...
There are buses leaving every day for other cities, and you can be on them!

Sarah's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Karen Carpenter (singer, The Carpenters)

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Karen Carpenter Original Release 4-3/4x5-3/4 Photo (Appears To Be Cut Out Of Larger Image) #DSC07520Bani Finds Her Something (The LGBTQ Anti-Bullying Series)And It Was Full of Light!: Finding the courage to overcome homophobic bullying and hateGender and Sexual Diversity in Schools (Explorations of Educational Purpose)

August 10, 2011

Thom

Thom, age 10
Orlando, Florida (1973)

This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!

I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.

I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.

Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.

I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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August 05, 2011

Dean

Dean, age 4
Hollywood, Florida (1975)

This picture was taken on Halloween when I was in kindergarten. My sister was 10-years old when I was born, and had always wanted a baby sister. Having two brothers already, my sister had her heart set that I was going to be a girl.

On my birthdate, my mom sent my three siblings off to school, and said that when they got home, they would have a new baby brother or a baby sister.

Well, you can imagine my sister's devastation! It wasn't long before my sister realized that I fit into her dolls' clothing, and she could make me the little sister she always wanted!

I knew I was gay around age 5 or 6.
I remember staring at my sister's boyfriend's Speedo at the water park,
and just knowing that I was different.

At times I thought my life would've been easier if I had been born a girl.

Back in the 1970's, I think the majority of us grew up in an "Archie Bunker" like atmosphere. As for my parents, they were never afraid of using the N word, and were not shy about talking about "the Queers" that lived on the next block.

I remember cringing every time they would start to talk about them, knowing that one day my truth had to come out. That, or I was going to have to run away from home to a place like Pleasure Island from "Pinocchio."

I live in Hollywood, CA now and work as a very successful makeup artist. I've worked on people like Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Mariah Carey to just name a few. And I am living the life I always dreamed of! I look back on the small stuff now and laugh, because I remember it seeming to be so all-consuming.

For the LGBTQ youth of today, I say:
Follow your dreams and don't change who you are!
Life does get better. It gets as good as you want it to!

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider ("Dukes of Hazzard")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


August 02, 2011

Jim

Jim, age 3
West Orange, NJ (1985)

This picture was taken shortly after my uncle's wedding. You'll be shocked to know, that a few years later I was throwing Wonder Woman themed birthday parties and telling my parents, "When I grow up, I want to be a mommy."


Needless to say, when I did come out 17 years later, everyone's reaction was not
"How did we not know?!" - but rather a collective, "Finally!"

It's not always rainbows and lollipops being gay, but it has gotten so much better.
Even if I'm not a mommy ... yet.

And most nights, you'll find me with family and friends in this exact same pose.
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July 31, 2011

Robert

Robert, age 3
Cleveland, Ohio (1955)

This picture was, and still is, the real me. I have always been a record collector.
I am 59, African-American, and GAY.


I was mostly OK until Kindergarten.

My teacher there told my father that I liked to play with the girls and their dolls. He told me, 'Boys do not play with dolls' and he did not like that at all. So, he taught me "boy stuff," like throwing a football.

The next trials came when I went to Junior High School. The other boys did not want me on their teams. I was called a sissy by most of them.

My 8th grade teacher asked me, 'Robert, are you a faggot?'

The other boys at that time called me "Rob-Butt" and there was also bullying and ridicule from the older, larger boys. So, I kept to myself. It wasn't as bad when I got to High School. Most of the boys had failed their classes, and I graduated at 17.

I told my parents that I am gay when I was 19. My father took it as a failure on his part. But I told him it had nothing to do with him. My mother thought I would grow out of it, but I have not. I have been out and proud since I was 19, and was even in the Marine Corps Reserve Program.

The reason I like this blog, is that everyone says it gets better - and it does!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

July 27, 2011

Timothy

Timothy, age 8
Tulsa, OK (1973)

My road to acceptance was a long one. First of all, know that my father was super masculine major league baseball player Jim Beauchamp, so I had to be his worst nightmare. It took him awhile to get used to the fact he didn't really have two boys and a girl, but one that was sort of "in between." Check the hand on my hip...

I knew I was gay from the first time I ever heard the word.

When I heard my older brother describing me as "gay" and "sissy," I thought to myself,
"Yep... that's me!"

I really struggled with acceptance of my gender identity up until the age where I hit puberty.

And there was something about that testosterone burst that pushed me over the edge and made me glad to be a guy.

Up until then I was destined for gender reassignment surgery.

I can't remember ever asking for gender appropriate toys, or developing normal friendships with boys. I used to blackmail my sister to get her to ask for the toys
I wanted by threatening, "All right, Ann Rene, I'm squealing if you don't ask for Barbie's Malibu Beach House for Christmas!"

Christmas would come and I would tear through my footballs, baseballs and other sports equipment. But then, I'd join my sister in frantically opening her presents, and we would SCREAM, HUG EACH OTHER, and JUMP WITH DELIGHT at the sight of a new Easy Bake Oven or Barbie's 747 Jumbo Jet.

Every now and then I'd steal a glance at my father slumped in his chair with his, "What did I do wrong? This can't be happening!" look on his face. Poor guy...

And my message to young LGBTQ kids is BE WHO YOU ARE!
You are our future, and we love you just the way you are.
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1974 Topps #424 Jim Beauchamp New York Mets Baseball Card In A Protective Screwdown CaseI Love My Gay Brother Ash Grey T-Shirt Gay pride Light T-Shirt by CafePress

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

July 25, 2011

Heath

Heath, age 5
Frankfort, Kentucky (1996)

This photo was shot a few days after I decided to butcher and cut my hair myself, because I was tired of having long blonde curls. I was always running around shirtless, fists flaring in the air, as I fought off the invisible army of bad guys with my invisible fleet of Power Ranger team mates. But running around shirtless isn't what girls did. Only boys did that, and it was very un-ladylike.

And since back then I was known as a girl named Heather, I remember being shouted at to get off my bike and put a shirt on.

And I remember laying in bed praying to God, asking him to make me a boy, so that I could run around shirtless, roll in the mud, spit, and not have to cross my legs.

God didn't turn me into a boy even though I felt so strongly that on the inside I indeed was a boy. When I found out there were other people like me - who were once female-bodied but now lived life as men -
I was so happy.

I was glad to find out that there was a word to describe what I was feeling:

Transgender.

I told my mom, and after she did her own research, she knew that the missing pieces of the puzzle were now found. So at 14 I began my transition, first with my name change, then at 15 with hormones, and at 18 I had my chest surgery.

Most people are jealous because I transitioned so young. They say, "Oh life must have been so much easier for you than it is for me right now." But transitioning in High School in a small town in Kentucky is not easy.

I was bullied everyday. I was shoved into lockers, punched, pushed to the ground, called every name in the book, had my hair set on fire. I was discriminated against even by teachers, not allowed to use the Men or Women's restrooms, and even had a kid threaten to bring a gun to school and kill me.

Looking back at this picture now, it makes me a little embarrassed at how high
I wore my shorts back then. But it always makes me smile about how truly happy I looked, unlike many other photos where I was being forced to wear a dress.

Today, I am a proud man, with an even prouder mother. I'm going to College on the west coast, and holding my own as a man in the Bear community!

My message to LGBTQ youth is to report bullying as soon as it happens. If people don't listen or do anything about it, keep telling until someone does. It doesn't make you less of a person to tell someone that another person is bullying you.

Also, there is a whole other world outside of Middle School and High School.
A whole world that is yours for the taking, where you can make your mark.
But you have to be around to do it.

So my Queerlings, unite! Keep your head up and stay strong!!

Heath's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
John Stamos and singer Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20)
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'