August 30, 2011

Steve

Steve, age 3
Waterford, Maine (1969)

I'm sitting here at our campsite on Papoose Pond, wearing my Indian headband with the pink feather in front like a showgirl. Toes gleefully pointed. Smiling.
It's possible this photo was taken at the very moment Judy Garland died.


I was always dressed in red, my towheaded older brother in blue. Later that got switched. Maybe my mother thought I'd attract less attention in blue.

I was a good student with plenty of friends, until my town merged with another in junior high. Kids I hadn't grown up with tormented me. The dreaded F word. Some old friends jumped ship and unfriended me. I tried fitting in for about a minute, but this was classic rock country, and I liked Blondie and The B-52's.

I told my girlfriend I was gay. She told me she was a lesbian. Other friends I told were cool with it. In high school the artsy upperclassmen protected me, and the worst was over by about 16. I didn't come out to my parents until after college. Mom wasn't surprised, but Dad laughed and said he never would've known.

When I moved to Hollywood there were gay people everywhere. I became a noted drag performer (the original Sharon Needles) and made fabulous friends. I wore red unless I'd bleached my hair, in which case I'd wear blue.

And I loved my big gay demimonde.

After I moved back east to be near my dying father, there were some unhappy years. The bar and the after party are the wrong place to grieve. Happily,
I bounced back, and I'm grateful for my life today.

Being gay doesn't define me. I'm much more than just that.
But looking at this picture now, I absolutely love it. That's the real me.

And I want to keep that kid smiling, and maybe give him another feather.

Steve's first, famous person same-sex crush:
Ralph Carter (Michael on "Good Times")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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August 26, 2011

Saxon

Saxon, age 6
Tulsa, Oklahoma (1995)

Going through my fathers' pictures for his 50th birthday, I came across this one. It was taken at my grandmother's house in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

I had the best memories there, hanging out at the lake with my dad, and just being a crazy kid.

I'm 22 now, and a working performance artist. As this picture shows, I had a flair for the dramatic at an early age!

Looking back, I don't consider myself overly flamboyant.

I just had an amazing support system, so I didn't care about the perceptions of others.

And I must say, I couldn't have asked for a better childhood.

AND IT JUST GETS BETTER!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

August 21, 2011

Gérard

Gérard, age 8
New Orleans, LA (1974)

The birthday teddy bear is Pierre and that's my beautiful mother, Judith. I hadn't seen her in about a year, so this day was special, as she had come home. My parents had a tumultuous marriage, and she often ran away from her problems.

As I saw her arriving from afar, I didn't recognize her at first. But I remembered the wind blowing through her hair and playfully ruffling her skirt. Her vision was beautiful, statuesque, and breathtaking.

My parents had 10 kids, and I was the youngest and gayest. By 8 I knew I was different than my 4 older brothers and father. I had more fun with my 5 sisters than any young male child should have.

The fact that I had a huge teddy bear in my hands, at that age, was proof enough. My love for musicals hinted also.

I was called "sissy" and "girl" etc. by my siblings and others. And unfortunately, my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses for a time. I joined when I was much older.

I was trying to escape my gayness, and was "disfellowshipped" at age 21, because
I kissed a guy. By that time, my mother had passed on when I was 17, so I was dealing with a lot. I tried suicide many times and, thankfully, never succeeded.

Now, I'm almost 45 and I'm very happy that I'm still here.
Presently, I'm single, but I know there's love out there for me.

As for you, just be who you are! LOVE yourself, and don't waste time trying to live the life others hope for you. It's not worth it. Remember that you were born this way, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Gérard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Michael Gray (Billy Baxton on "Shazam")
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Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam: Mr. Mind over MatterI'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness UpbringingLouisiana Off the Beaten Path, 9th: A Guide to Unique Places (Off the Beaten Path Series)Queer in Black and White: Interraciality, Same Sex Desire, and Contemporary African American Culture

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

August 19, 2011

Randy

Randy, age 2
Roxbury, CT (1953)

I was the seventh of eight kids.
As a child, I always loved books, Christmas, and anything fantastic or magical. This photo was shot during Christmas, 1953.

Unfortunately, our dad was a recluse and a compulsive eater. And he failed to protect us from our Jekyll and Hyde, alcoholic, pedophile mother.

Or from my abused, mentally ill older brother, who terrorized and humiliated me for being sensitive and empathetic.

At age 12 I discovered muscle magazines, and realized I was sexually attracted
to men. It took me many years to accept that this was OK. I even converted to Fundamentalist Christianity to escape my sexuality. Of course, it didn't work.

I am 60 now, and glad to be gay despite my PTSD diagnosis, and the fact that being overweight marginalizes me in gay culture.

Randy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robin Hood
I longed to be part of his band of Merry Men, who would keep me safe.
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The Adventures of Robin Hood (Two-Disc Special Edition)America's Boy: A MemoirDamaged in ServiceCreating the Modern Man: American Magazines and Consumer Culture, 1900-1950

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"