Fay

Fay, age 5
San Jose, California (1991)

I'm on the far right in my photo. We were at Marine World when I saw this group of girls hanging out on the bench. My mom saw me staring at them and forced me to go introduce myself. She was so proud that I made new "American" friends that she had to take a picture.

At the time, I remember thinking to myself, "Wow! These girls are so pretty!"
As I got older, I realized my admirations for girls were really crushes in disguise.

We moved to California from the Philippines and I hardly knew any English,
so I was very shy and it was hard for me to make friends. But I always knew I was different at a young age. I hated dresses and dolls, and when we played house, I always preferred playing the daddy, or the pet Dalmatian. God forbid that I would ever play the role of the mommy or sister!

I had a difficult time coping with my sexuality in a traditional Filipino-Catholic household. My family was hopeful that someday I would grow out of being a tomboy. But instead, I just evolved into a lesbian.

My family eventually learned to love and accept me for who I am. Though it took time, my parents and I now have a great relationship and I couldn't ask for a better support system.

So my advice to gay kids, especially those living in non-accepting families, is to hang in there. I swear that it does get better. When it comes down to it, the only acceptance you truly need is your own.

You were born this way. So just believe in yourself, and others will follow.
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Scott

Scott, age 7
Dayton, Ohio (1976)

I was doing financial paperwork the other day, and it reminded me how in the 2nd grade, I was taught to draw what was allegedly a "proper" number "2".

The same teacher would also read our "writing" homework out loud for the entire class.

If she disliked your sentences, she would sing her opinion in this imperious, operatic voice:

"Booooorrriiiiinnnnnggggg!"

Well, being the creative creature I am, I decided to write my number 2's with a "wavy swoosh" at the bottom.

She berated me for it in front of the class, and it went like this:


Teacher: "Is this how I told you to write your 2's?"
Me: "No."
Teacher: "Then why didn't you write them the way I told you to?"
Me: "Because your way is [singing at the top of my lungs] "BBBBBOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!"

I went to the Principal's office for that one, who couldn't stop laughing about it.
And today, I still write my number 2's with the swoosh.
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Jonathan

Jonathan, age 4
Queens, New York (1963)

This is me (on the right) with my best friend David, taken outside our apartment building on Hillside Avenue in Queens, NY. I love the fact that we are holding hands and we seem to be deliriously happy!

There was a little girl in our building who liked to beat us up if we were solo,
so David and I were usually joined at the hip.

I didn't realize that I was more attracted to boys than girls until around age 8,
and I didn't act on it until I was age 12 (with my best friend Ira).

But as I look at this picture now, I see a very happy and gay young man!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Zulema

Zulema, age 7
Phoenix, Arizona (1992)

I've always felt different.
Heck, even my name is different.

My girl crush was always on Angelina Jolie. My first lesbian "experience" was at the age of 19, when I fell in love for the first time with my best friend. That didn't work out and I'm still coping.

Strangely, my siblings are like me:
My two younger brothers and an older sister are gay as well.

We never quite spoke of our sexuality until Facebook came around, and we've became more open about it.

This picture brings me joy because I'm now an artist.
It's true when they say we all have a destiny.
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Barry

Barry, age 5
Sherman Oaks, California (1976) 

This was my first time in (public) drag. I always loved to turn my bathrobe into a hula skirt and use my bathrobe tie to make Native American pigtails.

For this circus themed party I wanted to be a clown, who I decided had to look like Bozo.

But I didn't know how to make a Bozo bald skull, so my mom - drag icon that she was to me - helped me create this gypsy fortune teller costume.

In my mind now, I see myself here as a Shirley Temple meets Brooke Shields type of gal. I was stunning.

So stunning in fact, that children and parents at the party were extremely shaken up as I took off my wig to eat a hot dog, as suggested by my friend's mom.


Why would you need to be bewigged to eat? I still wonder about that now! I can still feel the pleasure I got out of freaking everyone out, as I continued to chew.

As an artist and performer today, I still revel in that kind of shock value. I consider myself gay, but I feel that a part of me is transgender. Around that age my mom asked me if I wanted to be a girl, and I said no because of the pain of giving birth. But I secretly wanted to have long hair and run around in frilly dresses.

It turns out my friend in the photo (my friend from kindergarten through high school) is gay too. But we never told each other through the years, as we both came out separately during our college days. __________________________________________________

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Dawn

Dawn, age 6
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (1987)

I have always felt like there was something different within me, like a switch that wasn't fully depressed. No concrete black or white feelings, just a whole lot of grey. I was the little girl with the blue bedroom with dinosaur trim. And video games, car posters, pet frogs and lots of fish along side all her Barbie dolls.

For this Christmas in my photo, all I wanted, more than anything else, was a typewriter. This picture makes me smile, and I realize that I still get that look at my laptop before I write now.

As I got older and into my teenaged years, I had boyfriends and realized that I still had that "grey" feeling. I liked boys and girls equally. Also at around the same time, I was being rejected by the straight community for being too gay, and rejected by the gay community for being too straight.

So I stopped talking about it. But, I have always quietly advocated and supported our freedom to love whoever we want regardless of race, religion, or sex.

I am now married to my incredibly supportive husband and have two beautiful sons and a stepson. I always tell them that it is important to stand up for yourself and for your beliefs, and it is time I took my own advice.

My kids need a proud gay mother.

My advice to LGBTQ youth today is to not let a label define you! You are so much more than that. Also, for every person who denies you the love you deserve, there are 100 more who will accept you. Never stop looking for them.

I am one of them, and I love you.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Kerry

Kerry, age 5
Buffalo, New York (1954)

I loved getting dressed up as a kid, and meeting the Easter Bunny was the perfect opportunity. My older brother always squirmed when our mom dressed us like this, but I really looked forward to it.

I always felt different from the other boys.

While they seemed to get all excited about baseball or football (and anything having to do with balls), I would rather sing and dance and play with the girls. This was strongly discouraged by my parents, but I knew what I liked.

I was about age 10 when I realized I was attracted to boys. My first crush was a boy on my football team. To get his attention I would offer to carry his jacket, helmet, or anything of his to show my interest.

He thought I was strange, as did my brother. And that made me feel really sad.

As time went on with more crushes, it became difficult to feel good about myself.

Playing sports became an exercise in hiding my affections. It wasn't much fun, but my dad insisted I play all the time. He was the first bully in my life.

Being a good Catholic boy and going to religious schools only reinforced the feeling that I was unacceptable. Not only in my family's eyes, but even in God's eyes. I never came out until I was age 47, and married with one child. I regret that I waited so long to come out, but today I'm happy I can be myself now.

I now know that I was born this way, and I celebrate this whenever I can.

I'm concerned about today's gay youth and the bullying they may endure.
It does get better, but we need to give them much support along the way.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Lauren

Lauren, age 4
Atlanta, Georgia (1995)

I might not have known at age 4 that I was a lesbian, but I knew by the time I turned 8-years old that I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't like my cousin, Alex. All I wanted to do was wear boy's clothes like him, play with action figures like him, and to talk about my girl crushes like he did.

I'll never forget my first love in 8th grade. But being in middle school, not many kids knew what the meaning of LGBTQ was. Luckily for me, when I came out at that age to my friends, everyone was supportive and I wasn't bullied like I feared.

Today at age 20, I have an astounding partner, a successful job being an EMT, and supportive family and friends.

My little encouragement for LGBTQ kids and people today is to not let others define you. I am who I am today, and I was born this way.
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Michael

Michael, age 3
Connersville, Indiana (1972)

In the 1970's, I would spend quite a bit of time on our covered porch, keeping rhythm with my grandmother in our rocking chairs, and watching the world go by as the sun set.

I wasn't very old, yet I felt right at home being an adult.

I would often tell anyone who asked if I had a girlfriend, that I was a "confirmed bachelor" - even though I didn’t really know what that meant.

It was an adult thing to say and, for some reason, I knew it described me.

One evening, my grandma leaned over and said, "Mickey, I may not be around too much longer, but I want you to know that you are different, you are special. You'll figure it out someday, but don't let anyone ever make you feel bad about yourself. You're loved and always will be."

As I continued to rock, attempting to understand what she meant, I decided that I should just remain quiet and let it sit. I continued to rock, and continued to think about what she meant. I still do.

It wasn't too long as a teen before I knew just how different I really was, and why others might try to make me feel bad about myself. But I like to think that each day, I continue to glean a bit from my grangmother's words.

Today, I still know I am loved and always will be.
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Philippe

Philippe, age 8
Montréal, Quebec, Canada (1992)

I have two vivid memories about kindergarten. The first one is about a boy from another city who moved back to his home in the middle of the year. I kept having dreams about him for a long time, though I can barely remember if he even ever really existed. In any case, I liked him a lot.

The other memory is how my teacher and class thought I was weird because I never enjoyed playing in the "little house" with the other kids.

For some reason, that little house was so popular, but I hated it.

All the kids would be playing and screaming; the girls would pretend to make tea and the boys would swing hammers. I just couldnt stand it.

Around this age, my parents signed me up with the soccer team, because apparently I preferred to pick flowers around the field, rather than run and kick a ball.

After that, my parents signed me up in the Boy Scouts, which is a whole other story that involves some of my first experiences with sexuality.

I pretty much always knew I was different, and I've always been mostly happy about it, especially when I didnt know what it really meant. I am lucky to have parents who love and support me, and three amazing sisters who just cant wait to rant and rave about guys with me.

Life is full of surprises. I am now in a relationship with a georgous man, I'm studying medical science, and I'm hoping to do some research and health care for my community.

Thanks for doing this great project. I see a lot of homophobia around me, and it makes me so happy when I see ideas such as this one, that are so full of love.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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