September 16, 2012

Cricket

Cricket, age 7
Biloxi, Mississippi (1984)

My photo is from an Arts & Crafts fair I was at with my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousins. We were selling handmade monkey puppets that wrapped around your body. They wanted me to pose next to the rocking pony for a picture, and I didn't want to. Hence the sassy attitude, which I still have today.

I was raised in the suburbs of New Orleans, and my mom and dad were divorced before I was born.

My grandparents and an aunt raised me with a watchful eye.

I was not a shy boy, and I was very outgoing, artsy, and athletic. I loved tumbling, painting, volleyball, soccer, and cheerleading.

My father tried to get me to play more "manly" sports, but that never worked out.

I always felt different, and not like my cousins or anyone I knew.


I first realized I was gay was when a neighbor's son (a Marine) came to get me to drive me to where my father was with his friends.

We were walking down the street and he asked if I wanted to race. I said sure, and he took off like a bat out of hell. All I could look at was his butt. It was so perfectly round! I was so attracted to it, but didn't know what that feeling meant.

Today, I'm a dental assistant living in Chicago with barely any communication with my family. I feel my father is ashamed of me for being gay, and that most of my family is mad at me for leaving to try and pursue a life outside of the south.

But I'm still dancing and cheerleading, and I love it.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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August 30, 2012

Sara

Sara, age 10
Worcester, Massachusetts (1999)

The school photographer hated me because I refused to smile. He even made a note of it in my photo-packet, in case my parents got upset. They weren't though, once I explained that I wanted a "serious" picture, like the ones taken of them in the old country.

But really, my logic was: 'I'll be more handsome with a straight face and a leopard print collared shirt'.

I was teased around this age for my thick Persian accent, but more so for my androgyny. I didn't have a word for it then, but "Are you a boy or a girl?" was something I heard often.

Being the only nerdy, gay child of immigrant parents in a (trashy) white town, our family felt jealousy and resentment. All I ever wanted was to make the family proud, but I knew that my existence alone painted a target on their backs.

My parents used my good grades to excuse my gender-bending, and quickly changed the topic to that whenever the subject of my tomboy-ness came up.

My friends said "We always knew," my mom said "I don't want you to be denied ANY opportunity in life," and my dad said "Whatever makes you happy."

Personally, I never accepted the classical notions of "boys" and "girls" that they fed us in school, and neither did my peers, all of whom grew to love me. I pursued my goals and never apologized for being born a queer.

If any teens or pre-teens are reading this, just focus on your own well-being.

If you work at being a trustworthy, loving, and genuine person, those who really matter will recognize your worth, and who'll seek to earn your companionship.

Sara's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Julie Andrews in "The Sound Of Music"
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

August 15, 2012

Dan

Dan, age 1
Islip, New York (1967)

I don't remember this New Year's Day picture at a Fort Lauderdale beach, as I was still an infant. But as you can see, the cat was clearly already out of the bag!


It would remain out of the bag til this very day, and there wasn't a thing I or anyone else could do about it. I think my mom's expression show's a bit of shock, while my grandma is full of GLEE! My dad, as usual, was in his own world.

I was very different right from the get go. I was the toe-headed blond, while my sister and brother (8 and 10 years older than me) were both darker and brunettes.

As the story is told, my mother asked my sister and brother: "Do you want a baby or a puppy?" "Puppy!!!" they both exclaimed. "Too late," my mother replied.
And the rest was history...

Later in life, I would go on to create videos with fabulous divas like Madonna, Cher, Ann-Margret, and The Go-Go's. And now they call me "Dan-O-Rama."
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

July 24, 2012

Adrian

Adrian, age 7
Alhambra, California (1994)

The saying "I've always felt different" is very familiar to me. But throughout my life, I was more made to feel different. I remember the kids just sniffing my "difference" out of me like bloodhounds at the time. Children find anything that is not normal to them, and use it against someone. Because they can.

Desperate for the kids to like me, I'd comply with their commands of "Chase them away with your gayness!" when playing with them. They made me in to a prop rather than a friend in their silly games.

I wasn't into sports. But on the sidelines I'd pick up the ball and give it to the boy I had a crush on. Yet he would be the one who made fun of me for being "different."

I soon realized that they were using the word "gay" to hurt me, and the more it made me feel like an outcast, the more I denied it. I even forced crushes on girls that I knew weren't authentic.

I felt if I expressed these feelings for girls, they would finally like me. But that never happened. This treatment manifested into anger and a negative attitude through my teen years. I'd stay home every night and not allow myself to have fun. I was depressed, and I knew it was because I was gay.

I was bullied in high school, especially by one neanderthal in particular. It was almost as if each attack deterred me further from wanting to come out.

I'd use humor as a defense mechanism, because that was the one thing that came naturally to me, and it was the one thing that hid my depression. This suited me well in college, a place where I could be accepted for who I really am.

I found a GREAT group of friends who embraced my homosexuality, and for the first time in my life, I felt free. And I found confidence and pride in myself.

Now age 24, I came out to my parents. My father couldn't have been anymore fine with my being gay. My mother took it a little harder, but she says she loves me unconditionally. I never thought I'd see the day where my parents knew I was gay, let alone be okay with it. Even if they are still adjusting to it.

To the LGBTQ youth: Life is too short to feel miserable about who you are.
I spent the majority of my life unhappy, and I don't want that for you. If your family isn't supportive, find a group of friends or organizations that will support you. Never let anyone else define who you are; that is your job and you have the right to do so in your own time.

You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! It doesn't matter if you're a boy who likes boys, a girl who likes girls, or questioning your own gender - as long as you treat everyone with the respect and dignity every human deserves.

I might not know you, but I love you.
So stay strong, 'cause you were born this way, baby!
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

July 06, 2012

Josef

Josef, age 12
Košice, Slovakia (1992)

Growing up in Slovakia, I always knew that I was gay. I was interested in fashion, experimenting with my hair styles, and I was a big Madonna fan and collector. I always remember being interested in boys, and I had a shirtless photo of David Hasselhoff that I treasured.

I once entered a talent competition dressed as Madonna to sing "Express Yourself," and I won the final round!

I performed this many times around the city, and I really felt like a diva. I mean, just look at my photo!

But it was difficult being me in my small Slovakian town. I was a freak to my classmates, and it was hard to find any information about being gay. There was no literature, and no internet.

But I always felt that I was the normal one, and that people around me just didn't understand me.

I told my mother I was gay when I was 19, and she was surprised. Which I didn't understand, because she made this Madonna costume for me!

Today I live with my partner in Prague, Czech Republic. We've been together for
7 years and we are in a registered partnership. My parents love him and treat him like a member of the family. I am now finishing my photography studies in art college, and my thesis is about this part of my childhood.

My message to to LGBTQ kids is to just act naturally.
Don't be shy to show your true orientation, your feelings, or who you love.

Express yourself, don't repress yourself!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

June 25, 2012

Fay

Fay, age 5
San Jose, California (1991)

I'm on the far right in my photo. We were at Marine World when I saw this group of girls hanging out on the bench. My mom saw me staring at them and forced me to go introduce myself. She was so proud that I made new "American" friends that she had to take a picture.


At the time, I remember thinking to myself, "Wow! These girls are so pretty!"
As I got older, I realized my admirations for girls were really crushes in disguise.

We moved to California from the Philippines and I hardly knew any English,
so I was very shy and it was hard for me to make friends. But I always knew I was different at a young age. I hated dresses and dolls, and when we played house, I always preferred playing the daddy, or the pet Dalmatian. God forbid that I would ever play the role of the mommy or sister!

I had a difficult time coping with my sexuality in a traditional Filipino-Catholic household. My family was hopeful that someday I would grow out of being a tomboy. But instead, I just evolved into a lesbian.

My family eventually learned to love and accept me for who I am. Though it took time, my parents and I now have a great relationship and I couldn't ask for a better support system.

So my advice to gay kids, especially those living in non-accepting families, is to hang in there. I swear that it does get better. When it comes down to it, the only acceptance you truly need is your own.

You were born this way. So just believe in yourself, and others will follow.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 12, 2012

Scott

Scott, age 7
Dayton, Ohio (1976)

I was doing financial paperwork the other day, and it reminded me how in the 2nd grade, I was taught to draw what was allegedly a "proper" number "2".

The same teacher would also read our "writing" homework out loud for the entire class.

If she disliked your sentences, she would sing her opinion in this imperious, operatic voice:

"Booooorrriiiiinnnnnggggg!"


Well, being the creative creature I am, I decided to write my number 2's with a "wavy swoosh" at the bottom.

She berated me for it in front of the class, and it went like this:


Teacher: "Is this how I told you to write your 2's?"
Me: "No."
Teacher: "Then why didn't you write them the way I told you to?"
Me: "Because your way is [singing at the top of my lungs] "BBBBBOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!"

I went to the Principal's office for that one, who couldn't stop laughing about it.
And today, I still write my number 2's with the swoosh.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 01, 2012

Jonathan

Jonathan, age 4
Queens, New York (1963)

This is me (on the right) with my best friend David, taken outside our apartment building on Hillside Avenue in Queens, NY. I love the fact that we are holding hands and we seem to be deliriously happy!


There was a little girl in our building who liked to beat us up if we were solo,
so David and I were usually joined at the hip.

I didn't realize that I was more attracted to boys than girls until around age 8,
and I didn't act on it until I was age 12 (with my best friend Ira).

But as I look at this picture now, I see a very happy and gay young man!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

May 24, 2012

Zulema

Zulema, age 7
Phoenix, Arizona (1992)

I've always felt different.
Heck, even my name is different.

My girl crush was always on Angelina Jolie. My first lesbian "experience" was at the age of 19, when I fell in love for the first time with my best friend. That didn't work out and I'm still coping.

Strangely, my siblings are like me:
My two younger brothers and an older sister are gay as well.

We never quite spoke of our sexuality until Facebook came around, and we've became more open about it.

This picture brings me joy because I'm now an artist.
It's true when they say we all have a destiny.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

May 02, 2012

Barry

Barry, age 5
Sherman Oaks, California (1976) 

This was my first time in (public) drag. I always loved to turn my bathrobe into a hula skirt and use my bathrobe tie to make Native American pigtails.

For this circus themed party I wanted to be a clown, who I decided had to look like Bozo.

But I didn't know how to make a Bozo bald skull, so my mom - drag icon that she was to me - helped me create this gypsy fortune teller costume.

In my mind now, I see myself here as a Shirley Temple meets Brooke Shields type of gal. I was stunning.

So stunning in fact, that children and parents at the party were extremely shaken up as I took off my wig to eat a hot dog, as suggested by my friend's mom.


Why would you need to be bewigged to eat? I still wonder about that now! I can still feel the pleasure I got out of freaking everyone out, as I continued to chew.

As an artist and performer today, I still revel in that kind of shock value. I consider myself gay, but I feel that a part of me is transgender. Around that age my mom asked me if I wanted to be a girl, and I said no because of the pain of giving birth. But I secretly wanted to have long hair and run around in frilly dresses.

It turns out my friend in the photo (my friend from kindergarten through high school) is gay too. But we never told each other through the years, as we both came out separately during our college days. __________________________________________________

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"