Tracey

Tracey, age 8

Algonquin, IL (1978)

I have no memory of being an A.A.Y.O. Pixie, but I remember this red baseball cap. A friend of my dad's came to the house, and my brother and I were outside.

"How old are your sons?" he asked. Horrified, my father demanded I never wear that cap again. 'But Daaaaad, why not?' I whined.

And he replied, "Boys wear baseball hats. You don't want people thinking you're a boy, do you?'

For the first time, I realized that my brother and I were not the same. And that my life would be different, because I was a girl.
I felt wrong. I felt "other." 

Over the years, I experienced this feeling of "otherness" over and over again.

I was not femme, but I was not butch. I was "gifted" but I was not a nerd. I was introverted, but I was a clown. I loved playing Atari and Hot Wheels, and watching "Scooby Doo," "The Muppet Show," and "The Facts of Life."

I worshiped Princess Leia from "Star Wars" because she carried a gun, and helped Han and Luke escape from Darth Vader. I rode my bike everywhere and was terrified of dolls. I read too much and did not care about clothes. My best friend was my dog - and she did not mind that I liked to wear baseball caps or had crushes on other girls.

Sometimes I wish my parents had taught me that a girl playing with Star Wars action figures was not shameful. Or, that liking other girls "that way" really did not make me different. It turns out that the desire to play with boys' toys at the androgynous age of 8 is completely normal - and so is being a lesbian.

What I would love most in the world, is for young LGBT kids to understand that there is no need for them to feel "other" now. Because those who try to make them feel different, are just generally uneducated and afraid.

I want them to realize that no matter people's gender or sexual orientation, there is no other. Because we are all fundamentally the same. 

Tracy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Lindsay Wagner ("The Bionic Woman")
________________________________________________
   

James

James, age 4

Manila, Philippines (1988)

I was the only baby boy in the family, and I was raised well by my mother, my grandmother, and my five adorable aunts. I was never close to my dad. I never felt different then, but looking back at my photos, I can tell the evidence is really strong that I was indeed different.

My aunts introduced me to Barbie dolls during this stage of my life - and I honestly enjoyed it. They even fixed my face several times, due to easy access to cosmetics, as my grandmother owns a beauty shop.

My mom and my aunts were a big fan of Madonna, and we listened to her songs together until I learned my first song ("True Blue"), and years later, "Like A Prayer".

They also introduced me to Dionne Warwick, Basia, Whitney Houston, Debbie Gibson, and Prince.

They were all our gay icons.

In movies, I always loved watching Disney fairytale flicks, like "Little Mermaid" and "Snow White". I sang their songs in falsetto when I was younger. Yes, I sing like a girl. I was even a soprano when I was 6-years old in our school choir, and used the mermaid song "Part Of Your World" as an audition piece.

From then on, I was bullied by other boys my age for acting and singing like a girl. Which of course, I denied. Eventually, I came out of the closet at the age 16.

And back then, all those pop icons like Madonna are who I truly adored so much.

James' first famous-person same sex crush:
Kevin Richardson (Backstreet Boys)

Cameron

Cameron, age 16

Concord, Massachusetts (2011)

My name is Cameron. I am an FTM (female to male) transsexual.

When I was a kid, I never knew what being transgendered was. I was born a female with the name Camilla. I just thought that boys were boys, and girls were girls.

So I wore girls' clothing and kept my hair long.

But I have distinct memories of walking around the house saying 'I'm dressing like a boy' -  which meant my shirt off, and only wearing shorts and a cross necklace.

In 3rd grade, I began to tell people to abbreviate my name from Camilla to Cam, which would become the basis for choosing my male name, Cameron.

I wore girly clothes until about 5th grade, when I found myself at home in a baggy tee shirt, jeans, and a baseball cap. When I was in about 8th grade, my sister asked me one day if I would rather be a boy or a girl. I thought to myself, 'BOY' but said 'girl' because, to the best of my knowledge, I couldn't do anything about it - so why answer boy?

I remember being extremely uncomfortable when I developed breasts. One of my biggest regrets is not embracing my flat chest as a kid, because now it's gone and I have tumors instead. They're like alien objects on my body.

In 9th grade, I cut my hair short. At a school dance, girls asked me to dance, 'mistaking me' for a boy. And I realized that I didn't mind their confusion.
In fact, I liked it.

That was my first realization that I might be transgender. Coming out to my parents was tricky, though. They still don't accept me for being the man that I SHOULD have been born as. They don't understand, that every day, I wake up wishing that I was just born with the body that boys take for granted. You never know how much you have, and how much other people value what you were born with. If I had one wish, it would be to be born with the right body.

I'm still struggling with my transition to manhood, and it's a slow process. I'm starting to tell people at school, and from what I have seen, they are all getting on board with it. Although I still go by female pronouns almost everywhere, I'm looking forward to the day that I will be known as a man everywhere.

I'm so much happier now, then when I was as a girl in middle school: wondering why I hated my body, and wearing boy clothes to cover up my awkward, out of place shell.

And I know I'm only going to get happier.
I always think things will get better, for those who want it to. :)
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Christopher

Christopher, age 18 months

Detroit, Michigan (1966)

I didn't come out to myself or anyone else until 7 years ago, just before my 40th birthday. But, I always knew I was different from even a very early age.

"You look fabulous!"

I posted this photo on a blog where I wrote about my coming out, and a friend called and asked me, "Who’s the little girl on your blog…?"

I was totally confused: 'I don’t know what you're talking about, there's no little girl on my blog.' My friend kept on about it until I went and looked, and realized he was talking about me in this pic.

I had to laugh as my friend pointed out to me, "You’ve clearly always been gay. Just look at that picture!" He mentioned that I was playing with a very pink poodle and a kitty cat. And dressed in a handsome/pretty yellow pastel outfit, with shorts that were so short and tight, you can clearly see my little package.

And it made me wonder: Did my mom and dad see this in me at this early age, yet I would take decades to acknowledge it myself?

My parents indulged and embraced my uniqueness. When I wanted a baby doll, I got one. And I loved and cared for him, and even dressed him in the same outfit I'm wearing in the photo. And I still have him. 

In junior high, I took home economics instead of shop. And though my dad wasn't happy about it, he reluctantly bought me the supplies I needed for my first sewing project. By 13, my mom turned the kitchen over to me and encouraged me to pursue my love of cooking as a career. I later became a pastry chef.

Although my journey was also filled with many dark and depressing days, when my being "different" made life difficult, I've come to love this photo of me.

It reminds me that I am as I was meant to be. I was born this way.

Christopher's first, famous-person same sex crush:

James MacArthur (on "Hawaii Five-O ")
_____________________________________________________

Mark

Mark, age 3

Springdale, AR (1984)

"Who wears short shorts???"

My sister loved to dress me up and pose me for the camera.
And I obviously didn't mind!

I don't think I ever really knew what "gay" was until I was older, but I always knew I was different.

I never liked the same things as the boys I grew up with, but I always liked the boys!

I have come to understand as an adult, that different can be fabulous! I have a wonderful, exciting life and couldn't be happier.

So don’t ever sell yourself short, and live life to its fullest!

I think this blog is a wonderful thing for LGBT kids (and adults) everywhere.

It's a mean world out there, but a blog like this is helping make it a better place - one little gay picture at a time :)

Mark's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Kirk Cameron & He-Man
  ____________________________________________________

Scottie

Scottie, age 8

Matthews, NC (1995)

So, I'll begin by stating that I was born female, and I still identify as one; Scottie is my legally given name. This photo was taken by a friend of my mother's who had taken my brother, sister (whose arm you see), and me out for lunch. I'm the youngest of 4 in our family. I chose this photo, because of what it represents:
a child's interpretation of misunderstood emotions, feelings, and desires.

I remember being asked by my brother just before it was taken: "Why do you need to dress like a boy?" I became so flustered at being called out, not really understanding the situation, and why he'd ask me a question like that.

But I defiantly responded: "Because I am one!" Thus, the nervous childish smirk on my face, and trying to figure out why I was embarrassed.

Over the years, that important memory has stayed with me, mostly because I feel like it explains the beginning of my understanding of how and why
I felt so different.

I've realized that as a child, I believed it was acceptable for me to be attracted to women - and steal my older sister's fashion magazines to gawk at the models -
as long as I acted like a boy.

And I remained the tomboy well through middle school, struggling with my femininity throughout high school & college.

It's only over the past few years I've come to terms with being a femme lesbian. Which I must say, is much more comfortable than trying to hide behind the mask of a boy.

David

David, age 11

Hudson Valley, New York (1977)

This photo was snapped during my 5th grade commencement ceremony. That snazzy jacket was my favorite, because it was reversible. The duality fascinated me. Navigating my way through the subsequent school years as a closeted gay boy taught me a lot about my own duality.

Growing up in Upstate NY, I didn't have any gay role models. Those who were perceived to be gay were mocked or whispered about behind closed doors.

I immersed myself in every school activity imaginable and cultivated a large group of friends.

If I befriended someone, they'd be less likely to tease me or acknowledge what I already knew:
That I was gay.

Looking back, I think I was subconsciously trying to protect myself.

In my younger years, I oscillated between boyish and not-so-boyish stuff. I was obsessed with Tonka trucks and fire engines, watched "Popeye" religiously, and loved climbing trees.

However, I was equally obsessed with my grandmother's white high heels,
"I Dream of Jeannie," "That Girl" and "Bewitched" on TV. I would often perform the theme song to each show when it aired.

One afternoon, at the age of 4, I was mortified when my cousin burst the door open to my grandparents' bedroom, and discovered me watching "Bewitched" - while sitting sidesaddle on a broom, wearing my grandmother's heels. I carefully placed a long towel over my head to simulate Elizabeth Montgomery's hair.

He laughed, asking "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I turned to him, sitting on my broom, and said, "I’m Bewitched." It was probably my first coming out moment.

After college, I packed my car and moved to Los Angeles. I officially came out at the age of 24. I made that decision on a Friday night, while dancing under the glittering disco ball at the Catch One nightclub.

To all of the gay kids who may be struggling today:

Someone once asked me: "If you could wave a magic wand and become straight, would you?" I instantly replied "No." Despite some difficulties, it's been a rich and rewarding and fun life so far. And it really does get better!

David's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robbie Benson (in "Ode To Billy Joe")

It's so sad, but I also STILL remember his underwear scene in "Ice Castles" too

______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Alex

Alex, age 3
Baltimore, MD (1990)

When I was a little girl, my mother loved to dress me up in Laura Ashley dresses, elaborate bows, and shiny saddle shoes. And I resisted, hard. I was content wearing my older brother's hand me down clothes, and play catch with him and my dad. My less-than-amused look says it all.

"The dress works fine, but let's save it for my girlfriend next time."

Indeed, I had tomboyish streaks growing up, but I've always been kind of an old-school fag at heart. Mom instilled in me a love for dance music, fine dress, and meticulous grooming - though she may not love how I present myself now.

My dad forced me to watch AMC, where I discovered a bevy of effete "bachelor" characters in glamorous old films, who were my idols. My favorite character on the legendary "The Kids In The Hall" was (and always will be) Scott Thompson's inimitable swish, Buddy Cole.

When I came out at 13, I embarked on a journey in search of identity comfort. As a Catholic school girl in a single-sex environment, I felt pressure to be feminine. When I got to college, I attempted stone butch. Then God help me - I had a sneaker phase. 10 years after my foray into faggotry, I'm happy and comfortable with ambiguity.

And I delight in answering to, "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Nothing is ever easy when people view you as different. It takes a while to get to a good place, and 99% of the time it's a terrible and arduous process. It can tear people apart, cause unimaginable pain, and seem like it's taking forever.

But nothing is more "worth it" than feeling comfortable in one's own skin.
Or wingtips. Or stilettos. You know what I mean.

And, as for floral dresses and shiny shoes? ISO W4W.

Alexandra's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Sofia Coppola (in "The Godfather, Part III")

Even at that age I knew the movie was terrible, but Sofia was BEAUTIFUL!
____________________________________________________
   

Jimmy

Jimmy, age 11

Randle, Washington (1993)

Growing up in a small town the size of a highway was never easy. Boys definitely played boy roles, and girls played girl roles. And I was caught in the middle, and always felt closer with girls my whole life. I also felt I had to be a girl in order to be with a boy, and I didn't know what "gay" was. I had that feeling until age 11, and then my mindset changed, and I finally stopped asking God why.

I figured out that I liked who I was, and I could be with a boy and stay a boy. I never felt like I was a girl, so why change that?

I was always teased because I was much more feminine than anyone else in my school.

I always tried to act tougher, but it was never me, nor did it fool anybody. And when I tried to change who I was, it only made things worse.

But along with the teasing, threats ruled my life. I came home from school many times crying, running into my mother's arms. And, asking her what a "f*g" was.

I'm lucky that my mom and dad were always there for me. Maybe it's because they saw what I went through daily, or that I had a bit more skip to my step.

Now every step I take is with my head held high, instead of looking towards the ground and hoping nobody screams anymore names at me. 

All the good and the bad from my childhood made me the man who I am today, and I love that person. I left that small town and now live in San Francisco, where I can walk down any street holding my partner's hand without fear.

In the near future we hope to adopt and expand our family, and we've been chatting about it on our blog, DaddiesJourney. In the end, it was all worth it.

Jimmy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")

I remember growing up and dreaming about Slater
____________________________________________________