Showing posts with label Partnered. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Partnered. Show all posts

January 01, 2020

David

David, age 12 
Tasmania, Australia (1963)

This photo of me was shot during my first year at high school, and was set up by a semi-professional photographer and friend of my father. I was posed in a cow paddock with Rani, our family dog. The picture was published on the front cover of a national magazine called "Health."


By this age I had questions about myself and knew that certain situations sparked my curiosity. But in 1963, there were no places to go to find answers.

I didn’t know the word to describe myself and no one at my school used the "F" word. And the word "Gay" just wasn't in the vocabulary.

I had a very happy upbringing at home, and was a straight A student at school. The other boys ridiculed my inability to catch a cricket ball or my failure to kick a football straight, but I was never bullied or belittled. And the guys came to me for help with their homework.

I was editor of the school magazine for two years and was on the student council. I was always a leader: popular, confident, optimistic and outgoing.

No one ever guessed that I was gay, least of all myself.

I also read avidly. My favourite character was William Brown, a permanently 11-year old boy portrayed by Richmal Crompton in the 39 novels he wrote, starting with "Just William." He and his closest friend, Ginger, along with the other Outlaws, got up to all sorts of wild adventures, none of which I dared to copy!

I never missed watching "Leave It To Beaver" featuring the inquisitive and often naïve Theodore “The Beaver” Cleaver, portrayed by Jerry Mathers. Only years later did I realise why I thought Beaver was the most handsome boy on TV.

I grew up in a conservative family and belonged to a strict Protestant church.
My dad was a high-profile pastor known all over Australia, and everyone, especially my father, had the highest expectations for my behaviour.

Any deviation was frowned upon and could be punished.
So I was eager to please my parents and happy to conform to their standards.

But as a young adult, when I stepped outside those boundaries, I was wracked by guilt and smothered by shame. I carried that shame for decades, and it's one of the reasons for staying in the closet for so long.

Then at the age of 55, I saw the movie "Brokeback Mountain."
And the result was a tsunami of grief and despair.

I decided the pain of staying in the closet exceeded the shame in coming out.

So I soon came out to my family, moved 1000 miles, started a new job, and bought a house. I also met a wonderful man who is now my husband of 12 years, and we couldn’t be any happier. More info on my life today can be found here.

And when I look at this picture now, I wish I could tell my 12-year-old self:
"Don’t worry. The answers will come. Life does get better!"

____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

August 11, 2019

Andrea

Andrea, age 3
Baltimore, Maryland (1993)


I had no clue that I was gay while growing up. Looking back, there honestly weren't many clues, as I was obsessed with many typically "girly" things. I loved baby dolls, my Littlest Pet Shop, and my princess nightgowns.

Although I had a tomboy streak,
I largely attribute that to growing up with a twin brother. 

Everything between us was a competition, but there was nothing to hint at my future sexuality.

In fact, it took me well into my college years to begin to question things. I developed a significant crush on one of my roommates during junior and senior year but was too oblivious (and definitely subconsciously afraid) to act on it.

It wasn't until I was age 23 that I officially told my family that I was interested in girls.

I'm one of the lucky ones, as I was born into a family that has absolutely no issues with my gayness. My siblings and I were encouraged to play with whatever toys we wanted and to explore extracurricular activities we were drawn to, regardless of whether they were stereotypically male or female centric. 


So I didn't have to worry that I would be treated any differently once I came out. And thankfully, I haven't been.

My only regret is that I didn't realize I was gay until so relatively late.

I think that if I had had more contact with gay people growing up, perhaps it would have occurred to me earlier than it did.

My wife knew she was gay significantly earlier than I did. She says she thinks this is largely due to the number of other gay girls she came in contact with growing up, especially while playing elite level soccer in England.

At any rate, I am now happily married and, although we currently live in Mississippi (where being openly gay can still be a bit of a crap shoot when it comes to acceptance), we have amazing family and friends and we're looking forward to starting a family in the near future.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

May 07, 2018

Doug

Doug, age 11
Las Cruces, New Mexico (1981)

I'm on the far left here, and the only one 'posing' in this picture of my siblings, cousins, and my grandfather. Like so many others, I too destroyed most photographic evidence of my gayness as a child, as it made me physically sick.


As an adult, I tried to be straight. So I got married to a woman.

We had two wonderful children together, but my secret was destroying not only my life, but my most important family members as well.

After finally coming out at age 36, my wife and I moved through our divorce as painlessly as we could and we remain great friends.

My kids are successful because of the love my ex-wife and I still share.
And today, we have each remarried -- both of us to amazing men!
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

January 09, 2017

Peter

Peter, age 9
Hungary (1999)  

I grew up in a small Hungarian village, and I never encountered the subject of being gay until I started to read books and watch movies on my own. So even then, my first LGBT discoveries were in the fictional world.

I was a weak and sensitive kid. But I always had some good friends, who were mainly girls.

At age 6, I wanted to start ballet classes. But my father wouldn't allow that, so I learned karate instead. And surprisingly, I was quite good at it.

Until age 11, everything seemed normal, even neutral. Then puberty hit, and things changed with my crush on Liam Aiken from the movie "Stepmom."

We had no internet back then, so I literally started to search for other movies he was in, and I watched everything I found. However, it never occurred to me that I might be gay.

At the time, I figured I just wanted to look like him, because he was so gorgeous!

Later on, I tried to have girlfriends, but when I closed my eyes, I always imagined I was with boys. Even then I didn't suspect anything. I thought it was just part of developing my identity. At age 17, I started to date a female classmate, and we were together for four years.

Later on while attending college, I started to consider the option of dating boys.

I didn't get religious education, and my parents were less conservative than the rest of our village. And yet, my family always asked me if I already had a girlfriend or not. It took them an unnecessarily long time to discover my truth.

I came out slowly, but every single person was incredibly supportive.
And many of them said, "Finally!"

Today, I live a happy life with my fiancé now, and I don't regret the long time it took to get here. Things take time, as a friend of mine keeps saying.

My word of advice to gay kids today is: Don't be scared.

I think most people don't know much about this subject, as it's just not the part of their life. And when they find out that LGBT people live the same way, wash the dishes the same way, drive a car the same way, do everything the same way - they soon realize the only thing we do differently is a private matter.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

March 29, 2016

Erica

Erica, age 3
Bedford, Texas (1999)

I'm too queer to be straight, yet too straight to be queer. 


I grew up as a huge tomboy, always wanting to play with Legos and GI Joe dolls, but my parents insisted I have a bunch of "girly" toys instead.

I was always jealous of my younger brothers, who were both really into cars, Legos and Nerf guns. I was very unlike my younger sister, who adored frills, pink, and wearing makeup. Thus my mother always complained I wasn't feminine enough.

I always played "doctor" with the neighborhood girls, having my head against their chest.  

The one who got away, was this beautiful girl named Alyssa. 
We were both really into each other, and I wanted her to be my girlfriend. 

Eventually, I stopped talking to her, as she had gotten back with her boyfriend. It wasn't until years later she told me she had a huge crush on me, too. 

Frustrating.

I haven't came out as bisexual to my family yet as they are homophobic. I hear the words "It's just a phase!" or "Are you sure you're not just gay?" all the time.

Nope, I'm not "just gay," as I am crazy in love with my loving boyfriend, 
who just sees me as a wonderful person. No labels needed!
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

March 01, 2016

Anthony

Anthony, age 1
Panama City, Florida (1994)

During my teenage years, I wasn't popular. I didn't have a supportive family and I didn't have many friends. And growing up with the hidden identity of being an LGBT kid was rough, especially once I tried to start dating.


As I was rejected by everyone around me, I quickly got attached to guys who showed me any kind of attention. Yet I felt alone in the world, as if no one understood what it was I was going through.

After a little bit of growing up, I finally met a guy who was different.
He was so sweet, caring, and genuine.

I didn't know what to expect, especially being so used to heartbreak and pain. 
But he changed that within me. He taught me how to love and be loved.

He showed me what it was like to be free in my body. And then he PROPOSED! 
We have been happily married 3 years now.

My advice for any other LGBT kids who were/are in my kind of situation, I just need you to know things will get better! Life can be very tough and strange, but there's happiness waiting for you.

Keep your beautiful heads up, hang on to your strength and show the world who and what you are: FREE! 
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

January 27, 2016

Christopher

Christopher, age 8
Sulligent, Alabama (1979)

Clearly as displayed in my photo, I already knew how to descend a staircase with flair while holding a cocktail. Even though that’s probably just a Pepsi...


But as one might imagine, growing up in rural Alabama was challenging for me. 

I certainly wasn’t like all the other kids, and because of that I was an easy target for name-calling and bullying - of which there was plenty. And, of course, I had to remain “closeted” until I left home. Even though everyone knew that I was as gay as a Christmas goose, it simply wasn’t discussed.  

One particular Sunday evening when I was only about 3-years old, Miss Christine was visiting during our family's weekly "visit" gatherings, which meant lots of gossip. She was one of our town’s hairdressers who sported a bouffant so high it was in danger of being caught in our ceiling fan. She was always very smartly dressed, with impeccably polished nails and perfect hair. 

I was fascinated with Miss Christine. She was like a real-life Dolly Parton - minus the huge tits and rhinestones - right there in my living room. However, even the snappiest dressers can drop the ball, and one Sunday evening I went over to Miss Christine, crawled into her lap, looked her straight in the eye and said - keep in mind, I wasn’t yet four years old:

'Miss Christine, you look real pretty...
But your purse and your shoes don’t match.'

Let's just say it was the first time I made a room fall apart!

Once I got to college in the larger city of Birmingham, I began to realize there was a great big world outside of my small hometown. And I finally was able to start becoming the person I was meant to be, in all my glitter-encrusted glory.

I launched a successful career as a professional dancer and choreographer, traveling all over the U.S. with musicals and working with some of the greatest pros in show business. I have had the good fortune to live in New York, San Francisco, and now currently Los Angeles. And I’m blessed to share a gorgeous home with my amazing husband and our two cats. 

Currently, I “co-exist” with the “showgirl, chanteuse, and Southern belle” Poppy Fields and perform as one-half of the cabaret act “Mack & Poppy.

It does indeed “get better” - but here’s the catch: You have to make it get better, and realize that there are always hardships, always tests, and always people who will hurl insults your way - even when you’re an adult.  

You learn, though, to remember that the ones who take issue with you and/or your sexuality are insignificant, and those who are truly meant to be part of your life, or are important in your life, don’t give a damn who you love.

All-in-all, it’s been an amazing ride and great life, and it’s still going strong. 

And I sure learned a lot from those “steel magnolias” that surrounded me as a child; and I know that wherever she is now, Miss Christine would be pleased that my purse and my shoes always match!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

December 03, 2015

Fernando

Fernando, age 3
Havana, Cuba (1967)

Growing up in in the 1970's in Cuba, I had never heard any official talk about gay people. But, the only time I did hear references to gay people, it was always derogatory. I do remember that I was never allowed to speak ill of people that were perceived as gay. I had a gay cousin and people always made fun of him.
If I had ever joined in to insult him, my mom would’ve smacked me!


My first memory of realizing I was different was when at around age 6 or 7 when I found a packet of pornographic photos. The sex described and shown was totally heterosexual, but my eyes were glued to the males in those photos. 

As I didn't know about gayness or sex, it wasn't about that. It was just something within me feeling - different. I always had crushes on the cutest boys in my school, but I never thought about sex until age 15.

I'd met this kid from the neighborhood that was very cute and who wore the sexiest red Speedos. But I never acted on the fantasies I had about him, though. I dated girls and even had sex with them. It was not entirely unpleasant, so I never felt the awkwardness that some kids growing up gay feel.

I moved to New York City in the late 80's. I was walking around 42nd Street one day, and I walked into a sex shop, and right up front they had a display of gay porn. I opened a magazine and it was as if a lightbulb above my head went on!

I thought 'WOW! This is what it's all about!' Soon after that, I started my quest to find a mate, and in 1992 I met my now-husband. 

One night he left me a phone message and told me that he loved me in French. My mom heard it and asked me why he had said he loved me. I simply said, 
'He is my boyfriend.' And she simply said, "Oh, OK. As long as you don’t become effeminate, it's OK with me!" And that was how I came out.

So I guess you could say I had it a little easy.

I did not feel the depression or heartaches that most of us go through. One of my girlfriends had a bit of a problem when I told her, but it quickly vanished and we remained friends until the day she died. 

Today, I am openly gay at work and in my private life. We never officially told my grandma or my husband's parents, but they figured it out for themselves and it was never a problem for them, either.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

September 15, 2015

Adam

Adam, age 2
Fayetteville, North Carolina (1987)

I was always known as  the "Miracle Baby" in my family, as my folks were in their 40's and in poor health when I showed up. I was brought up in a very strict, Pentecostal Christian household where sin and anything pertaining to the world were forbidden. Like most only children, I was somewhat spoiled with attention.


My photo was taken on Christmas Day, 1987. That year, I got a red Radio Flyer wagon, clothes, a Sit 'n' Spin toy and several little trinkets. But my most prized gift was the My Buddy doll I had begged my parents for. I'm sure that they weren't thrilled to buy me a doll, but since the little boy in the TV commercial had one, they relented. 

You can see just how surprised I was, pointing at the gifts and saying: 'For me?' 

I always loved playing with dolls and I had a huge collection of My Little Pony dolls. I can remember the embarrassment on my dad's face (RIP Dad) as I ran down the "girl's toys" aisle and picked out a new pony. 

I've known that I was different from the time I was three or four years old. I had what I guess you'd call a crush on my youngest uncle. He was handsome and would spend time with me, so I thought he was the greatest guy in the world.  

I developed several crushes throughout my elementary school days. Even so, I would always tell people that I had a "girlfriend" (usually just a close female friend), because that was the normal thing to do.  

I was around seven years old when I first heard my parents and the members of my church talking about "those queers" and "them homosexuals." When I finally did understand what these words meant, I was extremely afraid and ashamed.  

My two biggest fears were: going to Hell and disappointing my parents. Yet, I couldn't help the way I felt. No matter how hard I tried or how much I prayed, my feelings for guys remained the same.  

When was ten, I made the mistake of telling my mother that I wanted to be a girl. I wasn't transgender, but I thought the only way I could have a boyfriend was to become a girl. My mother had a fit and told me that God would send me straight to Hell if I kept thinking that way. I think that was when I first began keeping my feelings to myself.  

All through my high school years, I had devastating crushes on guys and hid behind my religion. The reason I didn't have a girlfriend wasn't because I was gay. In my mind, I was just saving myself for the right girl. Then the day came (after college) when I couldn't lie to myself anymore.  

Today, I'm out to some close friends. My family is intensely homophobic, so I keep my personal life to myself. I did attempt to come out to my mother, but she threatened to out me to everyone and ban me from her life. That was, by far, the hardest thing I've been through to date. And I even considered suicide. 

I couldn't imagine a world in which I could truly be happy in my own way. 
But I persevered and I am thriving the more I learn to love and accept myself.

I still have a long way to go, but I have amazing friends who love me and a partner who makes me feel like I'm the only man in the world.

For today's LGBTQ kids, I would say this: Hold on!

And think for yourself. Don't allow the ignorance or religious fervor of others keep you from being truly happy. Our world is changing and our time is coming.

I may not know you, but I send my love to you.  
Just keep holding on to your truth and I promise it does get better. 
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


August 18, 2015

Tim

Tim, age 5
Vancouver, BC, Canada (1995)

Here I am with my late grandmother at my kindergarten graduation. She was one of my biggest supporters for my musical accomplishments. I knew from a young age that I was different, but wasn't able to understand what that meant.

I was raised in a literalist, fundamentalist, Christian family that has never accepted an "alternative lifestyle" outside of Christianity.

So you can only imagine what growing up in a family that refers to homosexuals as ‘fags’ or ‘poofters’ was like.

I always wanted to be close with a guy, to feel a special bond between the two of us. 

I guess you could also say I'm not society’s portrayal of the stereotypical masculine man. 

I do not like movies with huge explosions, aliens, and guns. I like musicals, chick flicks, rom-coms, and movies that actually have a storyline.

I listen to Elton John, Barbra Streisand, and Whitney Houston almost daily.
I remember going through a huge Celine Dion phase in middle school and singing "The Power of Love" at the top of my lungs at home. My family did not like the fact that I would sing "...And you are my man!" with such conviction.

At age 19 I came out to my friends and co-workers who were very supportive. But when my family found out about my “sinful lifestyle" in 2013, it was off to Bible school for me and borderline reparative therapy. I have had deliverance performed on me, been sent to Exodus International, told to act more manly, and that if I just think I'm straight that I will be straight. 

Of course, none of that worked. My parents also demanded that I break up with my boyfriend so they could send me to more reparative, conversion therapy. 

After a month of refusing, I was thrown out of the house.

I was blamed for "bringing demons into the house," and my family said they would never come visit me at my new place because they “cannot walk on unholy ground.” That was two years ago and I have not seen my family since. 

The good news is I am still with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for three years. We could not be happier together and will be traveling to Europe soon.
I plan to marry my boyfriend one day and start a family with him. 

I have not seen my family since they threw me out, nor do I think I will be seeing them any time soon. People tell me to not lose hope, but I have to face the reality of a future without them. My friends have become my family and I have never felt so loved and accepted in my entire life. 

While my situation is not ideal, I wouldn’t trade places with anyone.
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


April 21, 2015

Byron

Byron, age 3
Arroyo Grande, California (1969)

I ran across this picture in a box of photographs. I don't even remember taking it. My mother used to like to dress me up and I was a bit of a mama's boy. 


My parents had some inkling I may have been gay and I was told that I was taken in for tests. All I could imagine was a doctor holding up paint swatches,
or pictures of accessories, asking me: "Do these shoes go with this purse?"

As I was a small kid, school was rough. Grade school wasn't that bad, but once I got to high school, it became worse. I was thrown in many a trash can, had food dumped on me, and other kids would scream names at me. So I spent a lot of time in the theatre - aka the cafetorium - and made it my safe place.  

I remember riding my bike home one day when this group of kids ambushed me and threw large cement nails at me, hitting me in the face and head. Or the ones who surrounded me and pulled out a switchblade. Thankfully, a friend pulled up in his car and saved my life.

Everyone basically knew I was gay, so coming out was kind of pointless. When I came out to my mom, she made me sweat through the entire process. After going through that agonizing moment, she just laughed and said they had known my whole life. I thought it would bring us closer together, but it didn't. 

However, my father has been my true hero through it all. It was on July 17, 1986 when he said he was proud of me.  I wrote it on may calendar.

Later I went to a performing arts college, so I felt totally comfortable. I remember the moment I made it clear to the wig mistress. She asked if I was straight, and the world just stopped and went into super slow motion. It felt like an eternity before I said, 'No, I'm gay' and she didn't even miss a beat.

I'm now 47 and have been with my husband for 17 years. I also have a successful career doing wigs and makeup for live theatre, and I don't take shit from anyone.
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 06, 2015

Joaquín

Joaquín, age 12
Madrid, Spain (1956)

I felt different from a very young age. I didn't like sports, especially soccer, but I liked movies, radio programs, and shiny fashion magazines. 

I adored movie musicals and Howard Keel, and that was always a problem when I had to go to the theater with my two brothers.

In school I was generally a good student, and that put me in a category where bullying was absent or mild. Plus, I was dangerous, and my tongue could lash out worse than any whip. 

I read voraciously and soon discovered that ancient emperors and artists had the same proclivities I saw in myself. 

After some confusion, by age 15 I accepted being gay quite well.

But I also developed a system to hide it without lying too much.


Nobody really "came out" in the 60's, but during the 70's and 80's I managed to do it gradually, especially once I was professionally and financially secure.

Today I'm retired after a long career in teaching, and I'm happily married to another man and we're active in LGBT senior issues.

My experience tells me that trying to change who you are is useless and makes you lose your life. Discover yourself and live accordingly.

Nobody has any right to judge who you are.
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 11, 2015

Jessica

Jessica, age 1
Tasmania, Australia (1993)

I am on the right and my twin sister is on the left, looking at the camera. At this young age, I had no idea I was gay. However, looking at this photo now, I am clearly more into that kiss than my twin sister Emily. 


I grew up in a highly Christian home and grew up thinking I hated gay people. 
I even said things like that a lot. Hating myself was more like it. Just after my parents started their own church, I made a joke that if they didn't let me date this boy I liked, I might just date girls instead!

There was so much truth in what I said, yet no one had any idea.

My parents took their 'discovery' of my sexuality really badly. I had my first girlfriend was when I was 14, and she was not welcomed. Even though I was sent to a private school, no matter where I went I found girls to love!

My parents have come such a long way in their acceptance of me. But more importantly, I have discovered my true self. I also discovered in time that I didn't have to look, dress, or act a certain way to be a lesbian.

I am now a very happy, highly feminine woman who loves the 1950's and red lipstick. I am a pinup model, a dancer, and a gay activist for my community.

I've been engaged for over a year and have big gay plans for my life with my beautiful partner. And that includes many kisses like the one in my photo!
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


January 21, 2015

Bill

Bill, age 3
Brooklyn, New York (1963)

This picture should have given my family some clue! This Norwegian boy on the left was a childhood friend, and I have a look on my face like, “Look! I got one!”

As a kid, I loved TV shows that featured boys around my age, like Eddie Munster and Will Robinson on "Lost In Space."

I also remember watching the original "Mickey Mouse Club" on TV. While most other boys were crushing on Annette Funicello, I was crushing on Cubby!

If anyone had asked me as early as age four who I wanted to marry when I grew up, I would have said that I wanted to marry a man. It just seemed natural.

But elementary school was a very difficult time for me.

I got bullied and beat up a lot, but I didn’t really know why;
I just thought that’s how school was.

By junior high, kids had apparently picked up on me being gay, because the bullying definitely took on a homophobic aspect. Of course, self-preservation caused me to deny it, and I had girlfriends all through high school. Probably because I was easy to talk to?!

After high school, I went through a very difficult time in a very homophobic church. After what could only be described as spiritual and emotional torture,
I left. Within a year in 1980, I was instrumental in founding the world’s first LGBT-affirming Apostolic Pentecostal church.

Most of my family took my coming out very well.

To celebrate, my aunt Lois called a friend of hers, and together they “raided” a gay bar in Asbury Park, New Jersey, where Lois played matchmaker for the guys inside, deciding who looked good with whom!

Presently, there are many positive LGBT role models, and I hope LGBT kids will look to them for encouragement and affirmation.

Today, I'm a 55 year old man, happily partnered with another 55 year old man. As I look back at my childhood - and especially this picture - it makes me smile.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 26, 2014

Tatiana

Tatiana, age 12 
Moscow Region, Russia (2000)

I’ve always known I was different. My first flashes of strange feelings started to appear when I was 4 years old and continued to grow inside of me each year.

At school I realized I wasn't discussing boys like the other girls.

I tried to convince myself I liked men or boys (at least in movies and music bands), but it was all false.

Then I saw "her" for the first time when I was around age 8.

She was a teacher who came to take my classmate from school. And I was standing there, shocked and speechless for about 30 minutes.

Her beauty captured me.

Next year, she came in the classroom to say she would be our math teacher for the next 7 years!

I was terribly in love with her for that entire time, but I didn’t know there was something wrong feeling that way. She saw what was happening to me, but obviously she couldn’t do anything to help me get over it.

Many years have passed since then. Like the majority of people in our country, she hates me and thinks I’m a weird lesbian who was trying to seduce her.

But I wasn’t.
At that time, I didn’t even know it was actually possible to love another woman.

Today I’m 26, and I have a girlfriend and we have two children.
Hopefully, one day, we’ll have a chance to marry. I believe in it.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 06, 2014

Jack

Jack, age 2
Chicago, Illinois (1969)

This photo should be in the dictionary under foreshadowing. Looking at my baby picture now, I find it extremely funny. And think at some point, my mother most likely HATED that damn toy box. 


As a kid, I was all about watching TV. "Dallas" was my favorite, but my mom didn’t let me watch "Dynasty" because there was a gay character on it. 

In my teens, music (and especially Laura Branigan) was my obsession. I even managed to meet the woman three times in the mid-80's.

I’d have to say that my first man-crush was Michael Landon from his "Little House On The Prairie" days. But it was my obsession with Lindsay Wagner in "The Bionic Woman" during the 5th grade that started the years of bullying. 

We were inside for recess and I was pretending to be bionic. Of course, I couldn’t say that I was pretending to be Steve Austin - it had to be Jamie Summers. 
Thankfully, though, the teasing finally ended during my senior year of high school.

The truth is, I can’t remember NOT knowing that I was gay. But I fought it tooth and nail until the spring of 1986 (the end of my freshman year of college) when I gave in to my primal urges and kissed a boy on the lips (and some other things).

I had a long coming out process starting with my college friends, friends at home, my family (cousins, sisters, aunts), followed by sharing with my parents when I turned 30. And no, it wasn’t any kind of surprise.   

Today, I'm a happy, well-adjusted 46 year-old gay man living in Chicago. I'm the Director of Operations for a Healthcare IT company and have been happily partnered for the past 7 years.  

The funny thing is, everyone loves my partner – especially my parents. So sometimes life just works out, even after living through some hellish times as a kid.   

I imagine it’s easier to be gay these days, but for all of the kids who find it hard to accept and might not have the strength to come out, my message is:

Be strong, be yourself, and know that it
does get better.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 19, 2014

Nancy

Nancy, age 5
Columbus, Ohio (1961)

I was definitely a tomboy when I was young. My favorite activities were building tree houses, playing in the woods, reading adventure stories, riding my bike and playing kick ball. I hated playing with dolls, especially Barbies!

As you can see in my photo, I loved wearing comfortable, functional pants with lots of big pockets - and I still do!

My first crush on a girl was in the 6th grade, but she wasn't particularly interested in me.

Soon after that I started having boyfriends, because I had no clue that having a girlfriend was even an option.

At that time, all you saw on the television were white, straight folks.

When I was 16, I visited my cousin at his college. For lack of anything better to do, we went to a panel discussion put on by the Gay Activist Alliance. There were two women and one guy on the panel. And that experience was like a big lightbulb that went on in my head.

I spent the next 7 years looking for other lesbians, while still dating guys.
As soon as I found my first girlfriend, I gave up dating guys immediately.

It took my family a couple of years to get used to the fact that I am a lesbian.
But that was over 30 years ago!

Since then, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter (using artificial insemination), have had a great career, and been involved with my wife for 16 years.
We eventually got married in Massachusetts.

So for all you young folks reading this, listen up:
It does get better and you can have it all!
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 29, 2013

Russ

Russ, age 17
Springfield, Virginia (1982)

While I look like a happy go lucky teenager, that was just not the case at this time. I was in such turmoil about my sexuality, I often contemplated hurting myself.


I was raised in a very religious home. The bumper sticker on my car behind me says, "His Banner Over Us is Love" - and I was horribly conflicted as a teenager.

Thankfully, I soldiered through it all, and I am now a successful CFO of a
multi-million dollar company. And my partner and I will soon celebrate our
16 year anniversary, and life is so, so very good now.

If I only could have know all that was awaiting me back then! :-)
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 11, 2013

Stuart

Stuart, age 6 
Shaker Heights, Ohio (1969) 

I've known I was different from the first moments of my self awareness. I came from a mixed marriage that turned into a violent household. My father's family was Jewish and I never felt that I was part of that community. I always felt safe with my mother's family, who lived in a small town in Central Ohio.

Until I was age 5, I was pretty much a rough and tumble boy.
I was obsessed with playing with cars, riding my bike, and doing everything else that boys did.

The only real love that I received was from Leatrice, a woman my father hired to help with house cleaning. I adored her, and she was my world.

My first inkling I was gay was around age 4, watching Batman and hoping his costume would rip open. I can't explain it, but each episode I hoped it would happen. Of course it never did, but I never stopped hoping.

I later found copies of my father's Playboy Magazines and tried to will myself to find those women attractive. But when we would be at a pool, I was obsessed with the men in their swim suits and seeing their chests.

I became very body conscious at a very young age, and became painfully shy around other guys. I was skinny and didn't like to fight. I hated gym class because I thought I would get a hard-on in the locker room and would be made fun of.

My home life was violent and unpredictable, and I had no safe haven.
And I was bullied in school. I was beaten up. And I was called a fag.

The "normal" people in suburban Ohio in those days did not acknowledge gay people. I had no mentor, no one to look to for guidance. I just wanted to die and be wiped from the face of the Earth, because I feared I would shame the family.

My coming out happened in January 1983. I saw that gay men were just like everyone else, and we were everywhere and doing everything that "normal" people did. And I also understood that when you hide who are you, you give total power to the negative people around you.

While it took me 20 years to get there - and everyone's journey is different - it was such a relief! And the reward? I made it. And I made my now-deceased parents both understand that they didn't "do this to me," but that I am who I am, and that I was born this way.

My partner and I have known each other for 32 years and we've been together for 16 years. And all of those years have been warm, loving, and supportive.

We live in amazing times, and its so good to be here and see how the world is getting better and better for LGBT people.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


October 20, 2013

Jared

Jared, age 4
Williamson, Georgia (1991) 

This photo is me doing what I'm told was one of my favorite activities, which was wearing a pair of my mom's sensible flats and pretending to vacuum the house.


Looking back on my photos, I have memories of doing lots of things that I would consider really flamboyant and telling. But at the time, I was just being me.

I started becoming aware of just how different I was when I started school at age 5, and I learned to tone it way down. Once I hit puberty, I really figured out what was going on. And I waited way too long to come out to my family, but I finally did it after I finished college.

With coming out, I have received nothing, NOTHING, but all the love and support of my parents, my brother, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles - and even my recently-turned 99 great-grandmother. And all this from some small town Georgians, too!

Today, I am out, proud and loving life. And I'm engaged to the sweetest, best guy anyone could ever hope to meet, a happy fate I never believed would be mine.

Here I am, and I couldn't be happier! So my advice to those today is:
Just be yourself and great things will come your way.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"