Jeferson

Jeferson, age 7
Novo Hamburgo, Brazil (1991)

This is me and my sister, and one of my "My Little Pony" dolls, which I collected for 4 years.

As a kid, I felt torn between playing games and toys meant for girls, or those meant for boys.

In my confusion, I didn't know
if I wanted to be He-Man, or be
She-Ra. Hahaha!

I always had more female friends as a kid, and was the target of bullying for it.


I was extremely shy, and I spent my entire adolescence without feeling accepted or understood. I was very inexperienced, and felt I could not approach the girls. But when I was 25, I had my first kiss with a woman.

It was only after entering the theater that I decided to accept myself as gay,
and try being with guys. Once I did, I knew being with men was my true nature.

I eventually told my godfather (who is also gay) and who was a childhood friend of my father. Today, my whole family accepts me and supports me.

Jeferson's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jonathan Knight & Joey McIntyre (from New Kids on The Block)
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Carlos

Carlos, age 7

RS, Brazil (1998)

I live in Brazil, and somehow I always knew that I was gay.

I had many years of discovering myself, and I'm finally happy with who I am!
Now, I'm so lucky with all that I have: my friends, my family, and my boyfriend.
And to all who might feel sad now, there is a happy ending!

Igor

Igor, age 2
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1989)

I have only but flashes of my childhood. In our new neighborhood, there were only a few people living nearby. There were no other kids around, and being the chubby kid in school didn't exactly make me the most popular student.

I was being called names since forever, and my only friends were my teachers and the school staff.

I always felt different, and I could tell since the age of 5 that I had a "thing" for boys.

All my friends were girls, and I'd spend most of my time wondering how it would be when I became one. Because I was sure that being a boy wasn't for me.

My father was utterly against my demonstrations of femininity, and he did everything he could to change my ways: soccer, skating, and trying to buy me a motorcycle when I got older.

I remember this one special Christmas when I was around 7-years old, and my uncle gave me a complete set of GI Joe figures, and I couldn't care less about it! All my devotion went to my cousin's new Barbie doll, and I was so jealous of her!
Why couldn't I get the cute gifts?

This picture might seem like nothing special, but it shows how carefree I could be back when I was a baby. The fabulous shoes I had, catwalking in diapers.

When I came out at age 18, I asked my father how could he not be impressed with his gay son, who could sing all the lyrics to "I Will Survive"? Eventually,
my parents came around, and now they're with me every step of the way!

That same energy kept me going until I decided to come out of the closet.
And if there's a "gay energy" that marks us as being happy, no matter what,
then I'm sure I've had it since birth.

To those who, like my boyfriend, still haven't come out, or are struggling hard while doing it, hang on! Be free to do what you like with whoever you like!

That feeling of no shame or guilt or the need to hide, is the best reward you can get in life. It gets better!

Igor's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Stamos (on "Full House")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Malu

Malu, age 10
São Paulo, Brazil (1999)

This is me and a cousin. I remember feeling so smooth in this hat! Hahahaha

I was always more interested in 'boys' stuff. I remember playing "house" in kindergarten, and I was always  the father and my friend played the mother.

I always liked male characters and identified with them.

Most importantly, I felt attracted to the female characters in cartoons and movies, etc. The oldest memory I have of this is of Saory, from the "Saint Seya" anime.
I think she was my first crush =)

Growing up, I never talked about it with anyone, and it deeply saddened me.

If I could give any advice for those who are still in the closet, it is to open up and talk with someone. It will make you feel loads better!

My parents only discovered about me when I was already in college.
Thinking back, I figure they always knew deep within.

All is well now. I have a girlfriend that I can have at home, and I can visit her home. Surely people are getting more open minded!
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Jonas

Jonas, age 8

Pernambuco, Brazil (1994)

I suffered a lot of bullying at school by walking around with the girls and not liking soccer/football.

I was the "different" kid in my class. I was "the fat, the freak, and the gay."

I remember at age 6 watching Britney Spears dancing on TV, and I knew the choreography for "...Baby One More Time."


I was so innocent back then. Now, I've gained the respect of my straight friends.
But, I am still struggling to gain acceptance from my parents.

However, I am very happy now.
And I wouldn't change anything about myself, because I was born this way.

Magno

Magno, age 10

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1994)

As a little boy, I was often mistaken for a girl. Not only by school mates who didn't know me well, but also sometimes people on the street. I suspect it was because of my skinny build and my long, bushy hair. My father wanted it kept short, but he'd let me grow it for months before eventually forcing me to trim it.

I also had a very "girly" voice. Some other kids' parents advised me to try and sound more masculine when I spoke, and when I tried to explain to them that my voice sounded that way naturally, they just frowned at me.

I had a best girl-friend in my building who had lots of toys and dolls, and whenever the kids gathered together to play with her stuff, I would always pick the Barbies.

The good thing about coming across as gay so young, is that you never really have to hide or disguise anything. There's no such thing as a "coming out," since people already see you're different, and treat you as such.

The terrible thing about it, is that owing to being different and gay meant dealing with a lot of bullying, confusion, and suffering. I was called "gay" or "f*ggot" often, all before I was even able to fully understand what being gay means.

I went through hell during my school years, and it wasn't until about age 17 that things began to change a bit. That was when I decided there was nothing wrong with me. If people weren't OK with me being gay (be it family members, friends, whoever), then to hell with them.

My advice to young gay kids: School years can be hard, and I suspect they were even harder when I was your age. There weren't any support groups fighting to end the bullying, as there is now. But eventually, all that pain will be gone.

I learned to accept myself the way I am, and learned not to care about other people's opinion about my sexuality.

Magno's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Macaulay Culkin (in "Home Alone") & Elijah Wood

Wanderson

Wanderson, age 6

São Paulo, Brazil (1983)

If you are a gay teenager, you might have thought about ending your own life.
I know I did. I was raised believing that being gay was wrong and that getting married, having kids, and forming a family was the only thing in store for me.

I used to pray before going to bed and ask the Lord to please make me straight, as if it was as that simple. I saw myself as a pervert, and I didn’t realize that my desire for boys was beginning to show.

My dad used to yell at me to talk like a man. I tried really hard but couldn't do it, and as I was just a child, why should I sound like an adult?

As a teenager, it got worse since as my friends started dating, and I was sure that I'd meet the right girl, and she would make me straight. Of course, that never happened and I started feeling depressed all the time.

All I wanted to do was die so the pain would stop.

And then I fell in love with my best friend. I was dating - or trying to date - a girl at the time, but my friend was all I could think of. I can't describe the confusion and pain I went through, and being only 16, couldn't even think about coming out or accepting what I was.

Years passed, and when I turned 23,
I decided it was time to have a conversation with me, myself and I.

And it was a different Wanderson that heard me say: 'I’m gay!' I smiled and he smiled back, and then all was much lighter and free. After that I started coming out to my friends, and every time I did, I felt better and better.

At home, everything was basically bad. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, someone told my mother about me. That drove her away from me, as she was incapable of handling a gay son. My sister found some love letters I'd sent to a man, and she didn’t handle it well either. I decided to tell my brother who was a teenager, and he was the only one who really tried to understand me.

After that I came to know a world that I never knew existed. I had new friends that were fine with my sexuality, and I finally found a man that showed me what it meant to be in a gay relationship. It didn’t last long, but it made me grow up and helped prepare me for who is now the love of my life - Alexandre.

He taught me about pride and not being afraid of who you are. Today, my mom sees me with new eyes, as someone who's also formed a family. And my sister and brother are closer to me than ever before. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it.

Today, I'm 34 and I do not wish or want to be anything but GAY! Through everything I've built, the friends I have and ones I've lost, and all the obstacles I've moved out of my way, it made me a better man.

Thus, I must tell you: it gets better! MUCH BETTER!!!

Wanderson's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Richard Chamberlain (in "The Thorn Birds")

Helio

Helio, age 4

Nova Iguaçu, Brazil (1987)

I was born in Rio de Janeiro and lived in Nova Iguaçu. Here, I'm dressed like an indian during a Carnival ball with my parents.

A year later my dad died, and I was raised by mum, who never married again.

My family was very conservative and catholic, and mum was the most homophobic person I'd ever met until then.

I grew up in conflict, because by age 8, I wanted to know what it felt like for those "queer, freak, or abnormal people" my mother always secretly insulted at home.


I came out at 15 and suffered a lot. I was judged, humiliated, and even attacked many times - and my mother was the most aggressive person doing this to me.

It was a great battle to change my family's mind, and it took me about 8 years. Today I’m 27, and my story helped other relatives of mine in the same situation. I have 2 lesbian cousins that came out, and my youngest brother also came out last year, much to my mom's frustration!

I became an arts manager and produced a documentary about the gay life in my city. The film was titled "Nova iGAYçu" and here's the craziest part: My mom was the executive producer! That was quite a change of heart, wasn't it?

But just like my mother, my country needs many more minds changed.

In Brazil, every 3 days a member of gay community is killed, and if we include transsexuals, the statistics get higher. Besides the murders, many teenagers are kicked out by their parents just for being gay or lesbian. And in politics, although many advances have been achieved, we still see politicians getting support from the religious mass to make our lives harder than they already are.

But I see homosexuality as a normal way of life, freer than the hetero way.
And, much happier.

Helio's first, famous-person same sex crush:
George Michael
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Glauber

Glauber, age 4
Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil (1994)

Here I am on the phone, pretending to gossip with friends about news and current events. I always had a different way of behaving, and always liked to be near my mother and her friends. And I loved listening to them talk and gossip.

"I love hearing the news!"

By around age 13, I was sure I was "different". Besides the awe I had for my schoolmates, I loved watching "Teletubbies" - and I wanted to be Tinky Winky.

Today, I look at this picture and have a wonderful sense of self pride, because now as an adult, I have the same unique way of showing my personality.

I wish for all young people to understand that being gay is a positive thing about our lives, because it's a way to demonstrate the love of a neighbor.

Long live diversity!


Glauber's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Elton John

And I've always loved his music, too
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Vitor

Vitor, age 5

Curitiba, Brazil (1994)

"Victor, a very smiley boy..."

I was always smiling.

And I was a very restless boy, always wanting to play - with the girls, of course.

Some years later, I started doing gymnastics, but my father did not like the idea.

On Father's Day, I took my dad to watch a musical, but I think he would much prefer to watch a soccer match.

'Cuz my dad slept through the whole show! :(