Kelly

Kelly, age 9
Cordell, Oklahoma (1986)

I was born n' raised in a small rural town in Oklahoma. My Daddy was the high school football coach, my brother was the all-star athlete, and my uncle (my Dad's older brother) is Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees. No big deal, he's just mentioned right up there with Uncle Sam, apple pie, and Jesus Christ.

And then there was ME!

Townsfolk would ask, "Kelly...you gonna grow up and be a famous baseball player like your Uncle Mickey?”

'No,' I'd say. 'When I grow up, I'm gonna be a black soul singer just like Diana Ross.' 

Because one is just about as likely as the other.

The only thing Uncle Mickey and I had in common was switch-hitting!

As a kid, I used to dress up in Grandma's clothes and play Dolly Parton songs on my lil' geetar.

And they had no clue what the hell was happening!

But regardless, I was blessed with parents who always encouraged me to embrace my differences and “eccentricities.” They accepted me as every parent should for their child! Bless their wrinkled little hearts.

And as you can see in this picture, I LOVED being a little girly-boy. I think I had just told Santa that I wanted a Barbie, a boy, and some boobies! It made him very uncomfortable, and I didn't understand why. Because I loved being different than my peers, and I wasn't ashamed to be me.

That's a true testament to my upbringing.

But, like most of us, I had my fair share of getting bullied from time to time. Usually from kids from other schools at out-of-town events. Their favorite taunt was always "Are you a boyyyy or a girrrrl?" And I'd say 'Both!' Like it was a bad thing? I never could figure that out. Who wouldn't wanna be both?

Luckily, because of our LGBTQ pioneers that came before me, we now have terminology that kids can use today. In my case, it would be "gender-fluid."
Or as I prefer, "two-spirit" because after all I AM a Cherokee Native American Poke-A-Hot-Ass from Oklahomo.

So when I look at this picture of me and Santa, that's who I see — a late blooming two-spirited little gender-fluid kid, almost too comfortable in my own skin — but unsure how to explain it to others. Yet, never afraid to show it or be it, and most importantly — never once told to hide it.

And that would be my Christmas wish to Santa today — for every little boy and girl and in-between to be given the freedom to be in love with yourself exactly as you are! And to realize that when another person tries to hurt you, they're actually the one who's hurting.

Because people who love themselves, don't hurt others.
So don't ever let anyone change who you were born to be.

I’m Kelly Mantle, and I was BORN THIS WAY!
______________________________________________________

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Terry

Terry, age 7
Mt. Sterling, Ohio (1968)

My mom was a big supporter of Santa Claus. Actually, it wasn’t until the first Christmas after she got married (at age 17, and Santa didn’t come) that she learned the truth. But despite that knowledge and a short, rocky marriage, she instilled in my brother and I the confidence that we could ask Santa for whatever we really, truly wanted. If Santa could afford it, that’s what he’d bring.

I think my older brother was on to mom and started working the system.
But I believed in the man who didn’t judge me wholeheartedly.

All our Christmas photos show the clear difference between my brother and I: He’d get a rifle, and I’d get a pogo stick with pink tassels on the handle bars.
Santa kept me stocked with dolls and even a patent leather purse once.

Here’s a photo of the year I scored both a dollhouse and an E-Z Bake Oven. Santa (and his helper) never disappointed, except that my mom didn’t have a lot of time to pull off all this magic.

So we were raised with the slogan, “Santa doesn’t wrap.”

Thus, anything from the North Pole was laid out under the tree in it’s original box. But it was fine. My brother and I had no trouble figuring out which present belonged to who.

And although I was teased and tormented throughout my school years for being a sissy, I always knew Santa was my safe haven.

 I just didn’t know to thank my mom for that until much later in life.
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Greg

Greg, age 3

Klerksdorp, South Africa (1991)

This photo was taken over Christmas at my grandparent's house. Not happy with my own presents, I had seized my cousin's rainbow umbrella and started performing "Singing In The Rain," from one of my favorite movies as a kid.

I grew up in a wonderfully accepting, progressive home, and my parents have almost always been fantastically supportive of who I am. But bullying at school was a daily reality for me growing up, and there were many times when I ended up in tears. 

I came out in college and it was without a doubt one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Yes, it caused some pain at first, but that faded.

The freedom I felt did not.

Unfortunately, I did grow up in a culture that is possibly still globally synonymous with racism and intolerance.

The prevailing opinion in my community was it's better to date a white man rather than a black woman. Either way, there's not much acceptance going on.

But ultimately, I’m grateful for these struggles. They forced me to become a better person, more tolerant, and understanding of people different from me.

I have learned that being different is the most fantastic gift. It makes you more confident in who you are, as there is just nowhere for you to hide, anyway.

But, it took me years to relearn what I already knew when I was age 3:

If you want to dance around with a rainbow umbrella, GO FOR IT!
People might laugh with you or at you. Either way, laughter is always good!

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Adam

Adam, age 2

Fayetteville, North Carolina (1987)

I was always known as  the "Miracle Baby" in my family, as my folks were in their 40's and in poor health when I showed up. I was brought up in a very strict, Pentecostal Christian household where sin and anything pertaining to the world were forbidden. Like most only children, I was somewhat spoiled with attention.

My photo was taken on Christmas Day, 1987. That year, I got a red Radio Flyer wagon, clothes, a Sit 'n' Spin toy and several little trinkets. But my most prized gift was the My Buddy doll I had begged my parents for. I'm sure that they weren't thrilled to buy me a doll, but since the little boy in the TV commercial had one, they relented. 

You can see just how surprised I was, pointing at the gifts and saying: 'For me?' 

I always loved playing with dolls and I had a huge collection of My Little Pony dolls. I can remember the embarrassment on my dad's face (RIP Dad) as I ran down the "girl's toys" aisle and picked out a new pony. 

I've known that I was different from the time I was three or four years old. I had what I guess you'd call a crush on my youngest uncle. He was handsome and would spend time with me, so I thought he was the greatest guy in the world.  

I developed several crushes throughout my elementary school days. Even so, I would always tell people that I had a "girlfriend" (usually just a close female friend), because that was the normal thing to do.  

I was around seven years old when I first heard my parents and the members of my church talking about "those queers" and "them homosexuals." When I finally did understand what these words meant, I was extremely afraid and ashamed.  

My two biggest fears were: going to Hell and disappointing my parents. Yet, I couldn't help the way I felt. No matter how hard I tried or how much I prayed, my feelings for guys remained the same.  

When was ten, I made the mistake of telling my mother that I wanted to be a girl. I wasn't transgender, but I thought the only way I could have a boyfriend was to become a girl. My mother had a fit and told me that God would send me straight to Hell if I kept thinking that way. I think that was when I first began keeping my feelings to myself.  

All through my high school years, I had devastating crushes on guys and hid behind my religion. The reason I didn't have a girlfriend wasn't because I was gay. In my mind, I was just saving myself for the right girl. Then the day came (after college) when I couldn't lie to myself anymore.  

Today, I'm out to some close friends. My family is intensely homophobic, so I keep my personal life to myself. I did attempt to come out to my mother, but she threatened to out me to everyone and ban me from her life. That was, by far, the hardest thing I've been through to date. And I even considered suicide. 

I couldn't imagine a world in which I could truly be happy in my own way. 

But I persevered and I am thriving the more I learn to love and accept myself.

I still have a long way to go, but I have amazing friends who love me and a partner who makes me feel like I'm the only man in the world.

For today's LGBTQ kids, I would say this: Hold on!

And think for yourself. Don't allow the ignorance or religious fervor of others keep you from being truly happy. Our world is changing and our time is coming.

I may not know you, but I send my love to you.  

Just keep holding on to your truth and I promise it does get better. 

______________________________________________________

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Allison

Allison, age 3
Cleveland, Ohio (1993) 

I was always lusting after my brother's LEGO blocks. But as he was almost six years older, he was not keen on sharing them with me. So imagine my delight when I unwrapped my very own LEGO set for Christmas! I do remember being mildly upset that my box was pink instead of red. I liked red as a bold color.

I loved climbing trees and going for long "excursions" with the local boys along the creek behind my house.

But I also loved getting dolled up in dresses for special occasions, and I didn't mind that my Christmas pajamas were frilly.

Or that my mother refused to let me paint my room dark blue.

The first time I noticed my sexuality was in the 6th grade, when I was simultaneously in love with my best friend (a girl) and a boy in my homeroom.

I knew then that I was "different" and that I should pick which gender I would like for the rest of my life. But I didn't want to. I knew about gay people, but I didn't know there were other options besides just "gay" and "straight".

I had and still have massive crushes on Ryan Reynolds (and Ryan Gosling), Eliza Dushku, and Alison Hannigan. As far as Alison is concerned, her role on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" is all I need to say!

Unfortunately, my biggest bully is my own brother. He took out his own anger on me and knew that mocking my tomboy behavior was a sour spot for me.

One time he nonchalantly said, "I bet you're a lesbian." I asked him what he meant, but he wouldn't answer. I thought a lot about it though. We aren't on speaking terms and because of this and other family factors, I spent my first Christmas with just my partner, despite my family living 5 minutes away.

I pledged a sorority in college and got kicked out for being who I am. But I don't regret coming out. I do regret dropping out because of the resulting severe depression and lack of motivation causing confusion and turmoil in my head.

I eventually made a great group of friends and met my wonderful partner. I have always maintained that I like both genders, and though I do not deny that there should not be distinction between the genders, I'll admit that I like my men manly and my women at least mildly feminine.

I have to constantly remind myself and my lovely wife that things do get better, and even now things are better than they were a year ago, or the year before that.

So my message for LGBTQ kids today is: Just keep your head up.
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Melanie

Melanie, age 6
Downey, California (1970)

This was me at Christmas, the first year I discovered Santa Claus was basically a hoax perpetrated by generations of traditional family propagandists and greedy department stores. You can tell by my expression how excited I was about that inflatable reindeer and pink nightgown...

Every year I'd receive typical "girly" gifts when what I really wanted was the Hot Wheels® Mongoose & Snake Race Set.

I wore boys' clothes and shoes, so of course I wanted boys' TOYS! But noooo - Barbie dolls and plush toys were all I got.

But Stephen the neighbor boy had the Hot Wheels® sets, and he often let me play with them.

Stephen also eventually gave me my first kiss, which was quite thrilling. But wait, you say - that means I must be straight!

Well, not purely. See, I hated (and still despise) most things feminine.

I never wanted to get married, have kids, or become domesticated. That all sounded like absolute misery to me. I never wanted to be associated with "the weaker sex" - so I basically consider myself a gay male trapped in a female body.

The message I would impart to LGBTQ youth is that it is vital to live your life being true to yourself first. That is a truth that spans all human conditions.

Be true to who you are and what you desire in life, regardless of who objects to it. It takes a lot of courage to do, but you will develop that strength each time you exercise your right to be yourself.

Staying to true to you is the only way you will find the true joy in life.
____________________________________________________

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Sarah

Sarah, age 3
Nampa, Idaho (1973)

I remember this Christmas well. I sat on Santa's lap at the mall and asked for a chainsaw. He looked pretty confused according to my mom, but it must have made an impression - because it's what I got! My eyes are a little red in the photo from crying, because I had to wear a dress.

Growing up in Idaho, I didn't know I was gay. But I knew "gay" was a derogatory term.

I knew I liked girls since I can remember and needed to hide it. I also remember my my first celebrity crush was Samantha on "Bewitched."

Right around the time of this photo I got a boy's style haircut and had the kids convinced I was a boy.

I had little girlfriends who would make me the husband when they played house.

I even had a girlfriend in kindergarten and we'd kiss on the bus.

During 1st grade, I was outed by the bus driver as a girl. He told everyone, "Sarah is a girl's name! You are a girl!" I was mortified. I eventually gave up the charade, but school was tough. I always felt like a freak who didn't fit in.

I moved to Los Angeles once I graduated school and finally felt at home for the first time in my life. I'm very happy and comfortable with myself now as I don't have to pretend anymore. And I've been with my wife for almost 17 years now.
____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 7
Brush Valley, Pennsylvania (1976)

Back in the 70's, we always got the necessities for Christmas: clothes, school supplies, and shoes. AND, one special thing from our Santa wish list. All I wanted for Christmas that year was the Lynda Carter "Wonder Woman" doll. And you have never seen a child so happy as the Christmas Day when I opened my "special" present, and there she was - WONDER WOMAN!!!

As for school, it was not easy for me. Throughout grade school and high school I was picked on and bullied and called names I would really rather not say. But I SURVIVED! I graduated high school in 1987 with a graduating class of 167 seniors. And I thought I would never want to see any of them again.

I immediately moved to Tampa, FL and to no one's surprise, I "came out." I went back to college and moved into the business field. Now, a quarter century later I work for a multi-billion dollar healthcare firm.

On Facebook in 2009, I started seeing people I went to high school with, and we began talking. I found out that those who picked on me the worst had a story of their own (abusive homes, sexual assault, drug problems). In November, we had our 25th HS Reunion. The people I thought I would never want to see again gave me such a wonderful evening, that we didn't stop talking until 5:00am!

My message for LGBTQ kids today is:

Right now you are on but one path. This path may seem insurmountable, but if you push through, there will be thousands and millions of paths to choose. And if none of those paths are for you, then pave your own!

You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done, or there is no hope. I am just one of millions, and I found my path.

I am surrounded by a wonderful family (not all necessarily blood family), incredible friends, and the satisfaction of know that I SURVIVED, I have LIVED, and that I have no regrets.

Be exactly who you are and be PROUD!
_____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Mark

Mark, age 3
St. Paul, Minnesota (1965)

In this picture I had just asked this Santa for "Chatty Cathy's Brother". He was a doll that taught you how to dress and tie your shoes.

Talk about the perfect doll for a little gay boy!

My father was dying and pleaded with my mom not to buy me that doll.

Luckily for me, my uncle had overheard my request and he wrapped it and hid it under the tree for me.

I was so excited on Christmas when I unwrapped the "Brudder" doll - I couldn't pronounce brother - and it was the best Christmas ever!
______________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Greg

Greg, age 2
Plano, Illinois (1974)

This photo was taken at my grandma's house, where I remember listening to
Judy Garland's "Send My Baby Back to Me" on a 78-rpm record in her basement. On the left I have my Ken doll as I'm coveting my sister's Barbie Dream House that she got that day. I couldn't even take my eyes off of it posing for a photo! And as you can see, she's trying to get me to face the camera.

I first realized I was "different" in 7th grade. I prayed that it wasn't true and that I would change, but I just didn't find girls attractive. I didn't really know what gay meant though, so I thought maybe I was supposed to have been born a girl.
I was pretty tormented emotionally, and I felt depressed.

My same-sex crushes were the boys on "Eight Is Enough" - all of them. My mom tells me I was in love with Chastity Bono, so go figure. Closeted through high school, I don’t remember being picked on for being gay. But, I'd been bullied and teased because of my size and lack of athletic interest and ability.

When I turned 25, I was given the greatest gift: self-acceptance. And I remember feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. Upon reflection, I realized that I had always been gay and soon began coming out to friends and family, and I finally came out to my mom 3 years ago.

Today, I live as an openly gay man. I've been told by straight men that they respect me for being who I am, and that makes me feel great. I feel that I should use my position to educate others, to pave the way for future LGBTQ kids so they don't have the fear of being "found out" that they're gay.

I was born this way, and I love it!
___________________________________________________

 "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Tracy

Tracy, age 12
Salem, Oregon (1972)

This was me on Christmas day, 1972. My poor mom went shopping for an outfit she thought I would like, and bought a shirt with a man's necktie attached as part of the shirt! I was devastated. My mom saw my face when I opened the gift.

I looked up at her, and with tears streaming down my face, and I said:

"You think I'm a boy????"

So my mom took that shirt, got her seam ripper out, and removed the necktie.

My life was unusual already, having deaf parents. I have deaf relatives on both sides of the family. It is hereditary. However, I do not have any hearing loss.

My mom taught me how to do everything.
I knew how to cook, clean, sew my own clothes and iron.

But as my dad didn't have a son at that time,
I learned his trade as well. He was a car painter, a body and fender man. I learned to mask, sand, and apply primer.

I knew I liked women at the age of five. I liked the way my first grade teacher smelled, and she was very affectionate and kind to all of us.

But I didn't know what being a lesbian meant. I had only one boy I talked to, but we never dated, and my first experience with a woman didn't happen until college.

As for the outfit, I wore it over and over, until I grew taller. I felt so cool!
And I still looked like a little dyke, even without a necktie!!!
___________________________________________________

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Kurt & Matt

Kurt & Matt, age 5
Springfield, Oregon (1990)

I'm here on the left with my twin brother, Matt. I guess my experience has been different from most others, in that I didn't really realize that I was gay until probably middle school. Even then, I wasn't ready to admit it to myself or anyone else until I was a senior in high school.

When I stumbled upon this picture at my dad's house, my first thought was,
"How did you all NOT know we were gay?" Especially when we spent so much time playing Cinderella - and need I even mention my purple My Little Pony, which was my most prized and beloved gift on Christmas day in 1987?

My brother and I have been really lucky to have a supportive family and friends. And thankfully, we haven't experienced any of the nightmare scenarios you too often hear about, when people begin the process of coming out.

Maybe if we'd stayed in the Mormon church, things would be different. But we stopped attending when around 8-years old, and we haven't looked back.

Growing up, I never thought that if I came out as gay, that my mom would soon be saying to me, "You should go talk to that cute gay guy at Starbucks."

But she did. And kids, it really does get better - so hang in there!
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Treva

Treva, age 4

Chicago, Illinois (1965)

I knew from a very young age that I was different from everyone in my family.
I made up reasons as to how I was different - i.e. adopted, switched at birth, stolen, and even that I was half alien! As a young child I detested dresses. The only way I would wear one was if it was blue, so I was always dressed in blue and my younger sister in pink.

One year in high school a butch girl was in my class. I was fascinated by her and sat next to her all year. She wore mens' clothes and had a pocket watch! I was too afraid to talk to her, but I defended her almost daily to all my friends. I still remember her with fondness!

I never knew that women could be together until after I was already married.
I broke up with my husband and came out when I was 33. And now my ex husband introduces me to other women as a marital aid! He still regrets that.

My oldest daughter outed me to my family one Christmas, by walking in the house and declaring "Merry Christmas, my mom is gay!" I didn't find this out until two years later.

Let me say that I am not your stereotypical lesbian. I am fem, have 3 daughters, and 3 grandchildren. I love being gay, and that was what was missing from my life as a straight. And I will never go back!

I've recently started doing drag and love that too. I love pushing the envelope and making people think. I believe that we can be anything we want, as long as we have fun and hurt no one.

As for the gay youth of today, I think they are on the right track. Being gay is way more open and accepted then it was when I was young.

So try to be true to yourself, and everything else will come.

Treva's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Tie: Trixie on "Speed Racer" and Maryann on "Gilligans Island"

Later I was all about Linda Hamilton in 'The Terminator.'
I like my butch girls! 

_____________________________________________________

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Jack

Jack, age 12

Pauls Valley, Oklahoma (1987)

This photo is more about my mom than about me. As you can see, I was an aspiring decorator in my mother's classroom at age 12. I loved any holiday, and we had decorations for all of them, but Christmas took the cake.

As a teacher's kid, hanging out at the school after hours, but before everyone went home, was a magic time.

Only other teachers' kids would truly understand the power of feeling like you OWNED the building.

I have such a clear memory of the day this picture was taken.

I BEGGED my mom to let me decorate her room for the holiday, and of course, she let me. Why I chose to wrap myself up in all this  tinsel like the love child of Lady Gaga and Jayne Mansfield, I don't know.

I remember performing a little dance around the room to some bad 80's music, for all of the other teachers' kids. Getting other people to laugh was a constant coping mechanism for me, and I remember consciously thinking to myself:
"They can't hit you if they're laughing - even if it's AT you."

My mom came in the room to witness the scene, thought it was hilarious as always, grabbed her camera, and took a picture. She always pushed me to try new things, but never deterred me from being myself, which may have included a (very, very short) stint as a local fashion model at age 13.

Now as a happy gay man in my early 30's I can't tell you how lucky I was to have a mom that just loved me, for all I brought to the table. Even in Oklahoma.

As much as middle or high school can totally suck, the message I can leave with those reading this small snippet of my life is:

Love yourself in the now, and for all that you bring to the table.

A testament to that is I can now OWN this picture, and love me for who I have always been. Though I am a bit ashamed of the ugly cable knit sweater...
_________________________________________________

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Mark

Mark, age 4
Adrian, Missouri (1964)

Childhood memories consist of playing Barbies with the girl across the street, making dresses for my favorite teddybear, and dressing in my grandmother's evening gown. Oh, and sipping champagne (7-UP) from stemware. I did "boy" things too, but these are the things that I remember most.

"Here I am in my pink jeep that I received for Christmas that year. 

Really? Was there any hope for me after that?"

It must have been around the 6th grade I realized that I was attracted to men, but I didn't think much about it. Then, during a band competition during High School, a guy from a neighboring school slipped me a note saying I was cute, and he wanted to meet up with me. But I never did, because I was too embarrassed. But, it did make me realize there were others like me.

College brought on the first boyfriend and everything that goes along with it.
And wow! All I can say is that it just felt natural and good.

Later, after seeing many friends disowned by their family for being gay, I came to realize just how lucky I was. I have a family that loves and accepts not only me, but my partner(s) too. I know it hasn't been easy for them, but I appreciate their love and support.

Currently, my partner Todd and I just recently celebrated our 10th Anniversary, surrounded by both of our families and many friends. And life is good!

I never had to hide who I was to get through life, and my message to others is:

Always surround yourself with those that love and respect you, so that you can let your true self shine through. Everyone has something to offer, and nobody should have to be someone they're not, just to survive in this world.

Mark's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mark Goddard (Lt. West on "Lost In Space")
Robert Conrad (in "The Wild Wild West")
I fondly remember a lot of "crotch watching" of their tight costume pants.
_____________________________________________________

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Mike

Mike, age 5

Pendleton, Indiana (1977)

Don’t be fooled by the masculine blue pajamas I'm wearing. This photo takes place before I'd started dressing up in my mom's old nightgowns, a wig, and costume jewelry. Me and my little sister (pictured here) would both get diva’d up and prance around the house, lip-synching to Marie Osmond and The Mandrell Sisters. Or pretend we were the oil baroness wives from Dallas.

I always liked to play Sue Ellen Ewing, because she was so deliciously mean.
And drunk...

"Wishing Luke Skywalker would use the Force on me."

Our neighbor Cindy would come over and the three of us would create elaborate dramas, with each of our characters a beautiful runway model.

I always wanted to play an aging star who was losing her beauty, but determined to do so with grace and attitude.

Even at an early age, I knew that milking a situation for all its turmoil was, in a word, tragifabulous.

And yet, I first knew
I was gay around age 5.


I was in love with Mark Hamill and wanted to be Luke Skywalker. But more importantly, I wanted to touch his perfectly tanned chest. The way his desert poncho allowed just the slightest glimpse of his collarbone and pec muscles did something to me that I couldn't explain.

All I knew was that whenever my sister would leave her Princess Leia doll unattended, I'd force Luke and Leia to do some serious heavy petting - even though I didn’t understand it.

Growing up gay in the Midwest in the 70's might not have been ideal, but my family was supportive and allowed me to be me. Their mantras were:
'We’re not everybody else' and 'It doesn’t matter what other people think.'

And what can you say about a mother who sews her son a Wonder Woman costume from scratch, and lets him wear it to his Kindergarten Halloween party?
I would say, that's the definition of love.

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Mark Hamill (in "Star Wars") & Donnie Osmond
____________________________________________________

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Kirk

Kirk, age 7

West Chicago, Illinois (1981)

As a kid I loved Ken dolls. I had quite a collection and enjoyed playing along with my sisters and their Barbies. The only thing was that eventually my sisters outgrew the Barbies, and I never, ever did.

I first put two and two together and knew I was gay around the age of 11.

I had always heard that boys would grow up to like girls, and that was that.

I didn't know if or when I'd begin to develop sexual feelings towards girls.

I also didn't know if all the things I had already been thinking about boys were even sexual at all.

My first clue came from some horrible little everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-body-through-Christ-type of books that my mom had brought home, and surreptitiously slipped onto the bookshelf. In its 200 pages, it mentioned homosexuality exactly once - only to say that it was 'a horrible thing that will NEVER happen to you.'

Well, to hell with that!

I now know that I have always been who I am, and that honesty is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life. Be yourself above all else; if you don't, who will?

First celebrity crush: I don't remember an exact object of my nascent affections, but I do know that seeing boxers all sweaty in their satin shorts gave me very strange feelings inside.
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Charles

Charles, age 6

Denison, Texas (1984)

As Christmases went, 1984 was a harvest of presents – and my Cabbage Patch doll was the featured crop. I adored her thick, coarse mane of brunette yarn hair and attached birth certificate - which proudly informed me of her given name, Christine. Although I look less than thrilled in the photo, I was in fact elated by both the doll and my brand new "Alvin & The Chipmunks" slippers.

"A Cabbage Patch Christmas"

My 4-year old brother Cameron (right, who now identifies as bisexual) was never one to care what others thought, a trait that earned my admiration long ago.

But his joy was obvious this Christmas day. After all, he received not one, but two dolls.

I, however, knew that boys were not to own dolls. Which is why I was displeased when my parents caught this Kodak moment.

At least they hadn't opted for a photo when I actually opened the box. Why?

Because I'd shrieked with glee.

When I look at this photograph now at the age of 32, I'm amazed at how loving and encouraging my parents were. Not all Texan parents indulged a son's fondness for dolls. And certainly not all parents actually bought their boys such dolls. To my great joy, I learned to read via my mother's purchase of Rainbow Brite Storybooks. Any good grades I earned in elementary school were rewarded via my father's purchase of bedazzled My Little Pony toys, at my request.

Whenever Cameron and I broke into Mom's closet to play dress up – and then insisted upon a fashion show whenever neighbors visited – Mom and Dad never blinked an eye. They never forced me to be someone or something I was not. As a kid, I enjoyed Hot Wheels and hot pink. I stayed true to myself, and that was the best response to an intolerant and unsympathetic world.

At the age of 4, I realized I was gay when I developed a crush on Scotty, my best friend. My feelings were certainly not sexualized at the time, but my crush was undeniable and intense. Whenever I asked to kiss Scotty and lay next to him – like the characters in my mother's favorite soap operas – he immediately told his own mother. That in turn caused a great rift between our two families. Sadly, that was the first in many lessons of the cruelty of my peers and of society; even parental affirmation could not shield me from viciousness.

I first came out at 16 by telling a close friend and fellow marching band member. This was a radical act in 1994 and Governor George W. Bush-era Texas. That brave admission was an initial step towards honesty and self respect. And I never stopped being myself.

Indeed, that is my advice to all young gay people: Be yourself.

Whether you adore the color mauve or hope to win the World Series, take pride in yourself. You are amazing, and you will offer so much to the world. Never let anyone else convince you otherwise.

Charles' first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider ("Dukes Of Hazzard")

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Jan

Jan, age 8

Edmond, Oklahoma (1978)

That’s me on the left, and don’t I look excited?! My sister is sitting next to me with her usual big smile. I had the girliest sister in the entire universe. The pic now makes me laugh. And If I actually thought I was ever fooling anybody about being straight, the gay clearly shines through here in the pic.


I think I knew that I was "different" around age 4.

How can you not know when your closest sibling is the princess of the world?

She always wanted me to play with dolls or have tea parties, or some prissy thing.

Which got on my nerves. Why do that crap when you can play with GI Joe or the Millennium Falcon?


While she was busy spinning around like Wonder Woman and jumping on the furniture like the Bionic Woman, I was playing Han Solo frozen in carbonite,
or single-handedly battling Sasquatch in our playroom

I grew up with my fair share of bullies, but I was lucky because I was funny and could run fast. I was also a really good skater. The first time I saw Kristy McNichol, my life changed. I had a real purpose. I just knew one day I would roller skate up to her in my satin jacket and offer her a piggy back. Naturally she would jump on and off we’d roll into the sunset - obviously with a rainbow visible in the background.

The first person I told about being a lesbian was my sister. She could not have cared less, and said she would always love me no matter what. And she has, and she is still the girliest girl I know.

I grew up in a relatively small town, and it was really difficult and sad at times. But I look back now and see how it got easier and easier each year for me to stop pretending. I accepted who I was, and ultimately became truly happy in my own skin. I have no doubt that it will be the same for you, too.

Jan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Kristy McNichol

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Keith

Keith, age 2

Detroit, Michigan (1964)

Believe it or not, I remember the moment, captured in this pic, when I saw "Him" - a dreamy, teenage, male friend of my mother's family. I didn't feel gay or "different" at this time, just in love. And, I'm so glad that I'm dressed quite handsomely in my tie, plaid vest, and penny loafers. To this day, I feel a rush when I look at this pic, which is why I love it so much.

So it's the mid to late 60's, but, unfortunately - I don't have any pictures of me wearing my Mary Poppins hat and trying to fly with my Mary Poppins umbrella. I suppose it was around 1965 that I did sense "different" when I'd hear my parents arguing about the clothes and toys my mother was buying me. 

Closely associated was my constant desire to fly either like Ms. Poppins or
The Flying Nun, which drove my father nuts. 

Then there was Penny Robinson (Angela Cartwright) of "Lost In Space."
I wanted to be her, especially when she was "dropping out" on the planet of teenagers and go-go dancing. Sipping TAB at my parents' bar, I'd be Ann-Marie (Marlo Thomas) of "That Girl" and, whenever I had to dust, I'd imagine I was one of the glamorous, wafting women in the Pledge furniture polish ads.

But the guy who really "wow"-ed me back then was <blush> William Shatner! On the original "Star Trek," when he was paired up with Michael Forest in the 'Who Mourns for Adonais?' episode - I was one happy, tingly, little shaver.

Then the 70's came, and things went dark. Going from happy, little shaver to the object of bullies' anger wasn't easy, but all of us go through bad times throughout our lives. I think the ability to fly away, if even just in my mind, helped me get through and into a better time and place.

Keith's first, famous-person same sex crush:

William Shatner ("Star Trek")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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