Kelly

Kelly, age 9
Cordell, Oklahoma (1986)

I was born n' raised in a small rural town in Oklahoma. My Daddy was the high school football coach, my brother was the all-star athlete, and my uncle (my Dad's older brother) is Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees. No big deal, he's just mentioned right up there with Uncle Sam, apple pie, and Jesus Christ.

And then there was ME!

Townsfolk would ask, "Kelly...you gonna grow up and be a famous baseball player like your Uncle Mickey?”

'No,' I'd say. 'When I grow up, I'm gonna be a black soul singer just like Diana Ross.' 

Because one is just about as likely as the other.

The only thing Uncle Mickey and I had in common was switch-hitting!

As a kid, I used to dress up in Grandma's clothes and play Dolly Parton songs on my lil' geetar.

And they had no clue what the hell was happening!

But regardless, I was blessed with parents who always encouraged me to embrace my differences and “eccentricities.” They accepted me as every parent should for their child! Bless their wrinkled little hearts.

And as you can see in this picture, I LOVED being a little girly-boy. I think I had just told Santa that I wanted a Barbie, a boy, and some boobies! It made him very uncomfortable, and I didn't understand why. Because I loved being different than my peers, and I wasn't ashamed to be me.

That's a true testament to my upbringing.

But, like most of us, I had my fair share of getting bullied from time to time. Usually from kids from other schools at out-of-town events. Their favorite taunt was always "Are you a boyyyy or a girrrrl?" And I'd say 'Both!' Like it was a bad thing? I never could figure that out. Who wouldn't wanna be both?

Luckily, because of our LGBTQ pioneers that came before me, we now have terminology that kids can use today. In my case, it would be "gender-fluid."
Or as I prefer, "two-spirit" because after all I AM a Cherokee Native American Poke-A-Hot-Ass from Oklahomo.

So when I look at this picture of me and Santa, that's who I see — a late blooming two-spirited little gender-fluid kid, almost too comfortable in my own skin — but unsure how to explain it to others. Yet, never afraid to show it or be it, and most importantly — never once told to hide it.

And that would be my Christmas wish to Santa today — for every little boy and girl and in-between to be given the freedom to be in love with yourself exactly as you are! And to realize that when another person tries to hurt you, they're actually the one who's hurting.

Because people who love themselves, don't hurt others.
So don't ever let anyone change who you were born to be.

I’m Kelly Mantle, and I was BORN THIS WAY!
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Kelly

Kelly, age 2

Lynchburg, VA (1972)

I knew I was different when most of my friends in school were girls. I also had a flare for fashion, as the kid in parachute pants and skinny black leather tie.
I could not go to a Prom in just a black tux, I had to have color. As a pre-teen,
I "experimented" as most boys do. But the summer before 9th grade, I spent the night over at a friend's house for a couple nights.

"Did my mom really think I wouldn't be gay?"

We found dirty magazines in his older brother's drawers, and we commented on the guys. A few hours later, he broached the subject of 'testing' the waters.

I said okay, with the stipulation that if I did not like it, I didn't have to return the favor. We fooled around, and from that point on, I definitely knew I was different.

Through the rest of high school, I had a few girlfriends. In my freshman year of college, I got a summer retail job and started getting hit on by guys there, but I just tried to avoid it. But, I met a guy around my age, and we ended up going out secretly. For over 13 years, we would sneak around. He was out, but I was not - and as I got into a high profile job, I could not come out.

Then, September 11, 2001 really woke me up. At that point I decided I needed to get out more, which meant visiting my "secret" friend in Washington, DC. We really clicked, and I decided that if anyone asked, I would tell them the truth. After 9 months, I quit my job and moved to DC to be with him. Eventually though, we both realized we were better off being friends and not lovers.

At age 32, and after burning through my 401k and too much alcohol and drugs, I broke down. I drove 5 hours to my mom's house in Southern, VA. I was a nervous wreck, but I spilled the beans to her. We cried, and though she said she did not approve, she made it clear she loved me. She also told me not to tell my father (they were divorced), so I didn't tell him.

I'm now in Richmond, VA and out and open. I met Jeff in 2002, and we've been together ever since. In 2010 we got married legally in Washington DC with my best friend as my best man. Our beautiful reception included friends, fraternity brothers, co-workers, and most importantly, my dad, step-mom, brother & niece.

Having to make this short, I just have to say to anyone:
I was fortunate to have very cool and open-minded friends. Though my mother still does not approve, she still visits, and gives Jeff a Christmas present every year. And just my dad just officially knowing within the last year has been awesome. My brother, who even lived with us for a while, has been a great bridge to my family and making it easier to cope.

I am out at work and somewhat active in the gay community here in Richmond. To say there have not been some rough spots professionally and personally would be a lie, but each rough patch has made me learn and made me stronger.

It is such a great feeling to have the weight of hiding who I am off my shoulders, and be able to live openly. I was born this way, and I love it!

Kelly's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tom Cruise (in "Risky Business")

Kelly

Kelly, age 13

Twin Falls, ID (1979)

This is a pic of me and my dog Penny on Christmas morning. Though I tried not to act like a "sissy" as a matter of self preservation, my true nature always seemed to present itself in candid photos, including this one.

I knew I was gay in 2nd grade. I'd fallen in love with the male lead in a movie shown at school during an assembly. Later, I asked my mom if 'two men could love and marry each other.' After determining I wasn't asking because I'd been molested, she told me 'No, but they could be very good friends'.

Then I replied, 'Well, I'm going to marry a man' - and I stomped away to my room.

I like this photo now, but it took awhile. The curly hair was the result of a home perm I had begged for in an effort to look like Mike Brady (the dad on "The Brady Bunch").

I eventually made peace with the fact that I was always a 'girly boy', much to my father's dismay. The signs were there: I played with my sister's Barbies, cut my jean shorts way too short, and chose to help my mom in the kitchen over working with my father on the car. 

I feel protective and sorry for the younger me in the photo. Because we all have a right to be who we intrinsically are - instead of what society or our parents believe we should be.

Kelly's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Lee Majors, Gil Gerard, & Lyle Wagoner 

They were all my MAJOR crushes growing up
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