Gérard

Gérard, age 8
New Orleans, LA (1974)

The birthday teddy bear is Pierre and that's my beautiful mother, Judith. I hadn't seen her in about a year, so this day was special, as she had come home. My parents had a tumultuous marriage, and she often ran away from her problems.

As I saw her arriving from afar, I didn't recognize her at first. But I remembered the wind blowing through her hair and playfully ruffling her skirt. Her vision was beautiful, statuesque, and breathtaking.

My parents had 10 kids, and I was the youngest and gayest. By 8 I knew I was different than my 4 older brothers and father. I had more fun with my 5 sisters than any young male child should have.

The fact that I had a huge teddy bear in my hands, at that age, was proof enough. My love for musicals hinted also.

I was called "sissy" and "girl" etc. by my siblings and others. And unfortunately, my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses for a time. I joined when I was much older.

I was trying to escape my gayness, and was "disfellowshipped" at age 21, because
I kissed a guy. By that time, my mother had passed on when I was 17, so I was dealing with a lot. I tried suicide many times and, thankfully, never succeeded.

Now, I'm almost 45 and I'm very happy that I'm still here.
Presently, I'm single, but I know there's love out there for me.

As for you, just be who you are! LOVE yourself, and don't waste time trying to live the life others hope for you. It's not worth it. Remember that you were born this way, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Gérard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Michael Gray (Billy Baxton on "Shazam")
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Edgar

Edgar, age 6

Bellwood, IL (1993)

I've always wondered if my parents ever thought I could've been gay when I was a kid. I mean, look at this pose! I guess they had little to no Gaydar, thanks to all those books on the shelf behind me. My parents were (and still are) devout Jehovah's Witnesses.

"The son of a preacher man"

I first felt different around the time this pic was taken, but I didn't have a word for it till I was 13. Strangely enough, seeing this again kind of makes me want to have kids of my own.

Probably because I want to make-up for my parents raising me in a pretty homophobic religion.

I was a bit of a nerd growing up and I got caught up in the Power Rangers and Pokémon. I loved Disney movies, but only during the late 80's/early 90's Disney Renaissance! As I hit puberty, I was a die-hard N*Sync and Britney Spears fan.

My message to young LGBTQ kids, is that they're the vanguard in a long movement where we've all fought for a long time, to just be ourselves.

All that fighting has won them the right to feel perfectly comfortable in their skin. However, if anyone gets in the way of that, they can be sure there are plenty of people who will  back them up and support them.

Edgar's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Val Kilmer & Chris O'Donnell (in "Batman Forever")

Ooh - all that rubber, and especially those abs and pecs...

LaMar

"Me and my best gal pal!"

LaMar, age 5
Benton, AR (1977)

My mom took this picture of me and Connie, my best friend from next door. My dad was a man's man and a building contractor who had been doing some repairs on our roof and left the ladder leaning up against the house.

Connie and I posed by the ladder for my mom, but I decided that I would climb up on the ladder so I could be seen in the picture better.

As you can see, I'm giving my best over the shoulder look.

Growing up, my family were Jehovah's Witnesses. So, I felt different because of that, in addition to feeling different due to my sexuality. I felt like a freak among freaks. The literature that the Witnesses put out regarding homosexuality pretty much all said that if I just prayed hard enough, God would help me overcome these "unnatural feelings."

So, I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed - and nothing happened. God never changed me into a heterosexual. I took that to be because He didn't want to, not because He couldn't. So, I stopped trying. And, I did my best to get by until I was old enough to leave.

I eventually wound up living 800 miles away from my family. When I started dating my husband 13 years ago, I was so happy and I came out to my sister over the phone. I told her not to tell my parents, but I knew she would. I figured I had a week to call them and tell them myself before she burst.

When I told my mom 3 days later, she said that she had known for a long time. I'm sure my posing for this picture was a big clue for her. My dad on the other hand, wasn't quite as prepared. He told me that day, 'I'm not sure that I really understand this. I'm not sure that I like this. But, you're my son and I love you regardless.'

From that point on, my parents and I rebuilt a great relationship. At the time of his passing in 2009, my father considered my husband to be part of the family.

Looking at this picture now, all I can say is, 'Damn, I was a cute kid!'
A cute kid who was blessed to have wonderful parents who taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

LaMar's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Ricky Schroeder & Jason Bateman (both from "Silver Spoons")
Neil Patrick Harris (as "Doogie Howser, MD")
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