Diego

Diego, age 3
Córdoba, Argentina (1993)

And to think that my mother was horrified when I came out to her two years ago. I guess she's always been in denial or something, because as everyone can see, the signs were there from early age. In my picture I'm playing with a very old doll that I absolutely LOVED (it belonged to my mom in the 60's) and I'm trying to figure out how to make that apron/skirt work. I'm sure I was a little iffy about the color combination with that Mickey Mouse sweater, but I believe I pulled it off.

Just look at that blonde hair and those fashionable shoes.

That kid knows his game.

Growing up I was always the loner kind. Although I wasn't bullied or anything for being gay, I was bullied for being a fat bookworm type.

Today, 20 years later, I've played with a few more dolls in that time. But mainly, I've been trying to find my place in this wild world.

I've grown a little self-conscious about my body, as I'm now what you call a "bear" or a plus sized guy. This has brought many self esteem issues that have crippled me socially and emotionally. I haven't been on many dates, nor in a position of confidence and comfort with a man the times that I did

But hey, I'm not here to make you feel sad. And although it might sound like a cliché, I have learned that there is definitely always a better tomorrow.

You might be a little different, a little fat, a little skinny or whatever. But there is always someone out there that will love you for precisely those things. Always be yourself, and don't conform to social rules just to "fit in." True love only comes when you are true with who you are.

I'd like to close by saying you are doing just fantastic work with the blog and the book. I can't find other words to describe it, it's great. Keep it up!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Sofía

Sofía, age 2
Villa Mercedes, San Luis, Argentina (1987)

I remember as if it were yesterday when I said to my dad, "Paint a beard and mustache on my face." And I was so happy with my manly beard.

When I was 3 years old in kindergarten, my teacher told everyone to pick a card: yellow or pink for the girls, and blue or green for the boys. And I wanted green!

She tried to explain that I was a girl so I had to pick pink or yellow.
"I'm a girl, and I want green," I said.

I always felt "different" from the other girls, and I never liked boys.
I always felt a connection to girls, but it was all unconscious. It was if it was all a secret, even to myself.

At the age of 16 I realized that I was in love with my female best friend.

But as I was so scared, I never acted on those feelings. However, thanks to her,
I could start living my life as the lesbian I am. And it all finally became clear!

Now at age 26, I'm in love an enjoying every part of it with a girl who never thought she could love another girl. She's a very special person in my life, and we connected instantly when we met. I love the way she holds my hand when we walk down the street. It brings me peace.

I am glad that I always remained true to myself, and that I never tried to be with a boy, just so that my family or friends would accept me. Today they all accept and love me for who I am. Even my grandmother asks me, "How is your girlfriend?" and that means the world to me.

Morrissey once sang: "And if the people stare, then the people stare, I really don't know and I really don't care. There's no shame..." And that's my story today, too.
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Jeferson

Jeferson, age 7
Novo Hamburgo, Brazil (1991)

This is me and my sister, and one of my "My Little Pony" dolls, which I collected for 4 years.

As a kid, I felt torn between playing games and toys meant for girls, or those meant for boys.

In my confusion, I didn't know
if I wanted to be He-Man, or be
She-Ra. Hahaha!

I always had more female friends as a kid, and was the target of bullying for it.


I was extremely shy, and I spent my entire adolescence without feeling accepted or understood. I was very inexperienced, and felt I could not approach the girls. But when I was 25, I had my first kiss with a woman.

It was only after entering the theater that I decided to accept myself as gay,
and try being with guys. Once I did, I knew being with men was my true nature.

I eventually told my godfather (who is also gay) and who was a childhood friend of my father. Today, my whole family accepts me and supports me.

Jeferson's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jonathan Knight & Joey McIntyre (from New Kids on The Block)
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Carlos

Carlos, age 7

RS, Brazil (1998)

I live in Brazil, and somehow I always knew that I was gay.

I had many years of discovering myself, and I'm finally happy with who I am!
Now, I'm so lucky with all that I have: my friends, my family, and my boyfriend.
And to all who might feel sad now, there is a happy ending!

Igor

Igor, age 2
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1989)

I have only but flashes of my childhood. In our new neighborhood, there were only a few people living nearby. There were no other kids around, and being the chubby kid in school didn't exactly make me the most popular student.

I was being called names since forever, and my only friends were my teachers and the school staff.

I always felt different, and I could tell since the age of 5 that I had a "thing" for boys.

All my friends were girls, and I'd spend most of my time wondering how it would be when I became one. Because I was sure that being a boy wasn't for me.

My father was utterly against my demonstrations of femininity, and he did everything he could to change my ways: soccer, skating, and trying to buy me a motorcycle when I got older.

I remember this one special Christmas when I was around 7-years old, and my uncle gave me a complete set of GI Joe figures, and I couldn't care less about it! All my devotion went to my cousin's new Barbie doll, and I was so jealous of her!
Why couldn't I get the cute gifts?

This picture might seem like nothing special, but it shows how carefree I could be back when I was a baby. The fabulous shoes I had, catwalking in diapers.

When I came out at age 18, I asked my father how could he not be impressed with his gay son, who could sing all the lyrics to "I Will Survive"? Eventually,
my parents came around, and now they're with me every step of the way!

That same energy kept me going until I decided to come out of the closet.
And if there's a "gay energy" that marks us as being happy, no matter what,
then I'm sure I've had it since birth.

To those who, like my boyfriend, still haven't come out, or are struggling hard while doing it, hang on! Be free to do what you like with whoever you like!

That feeling of no shame or guilt or the need to hide, is the best reward you can get in life. It gets better!

Igor's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Stamos (on "Full House")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Malu

Malu, age 10
São Paulo, Brazil (1999)

This is me and a cousin. I remember feeling so smooth in this hat! Hahahaha

I was always more interested in 'boys' stuff. I remember playing "house" in kindergarten, and I was always  the father and my friend played the mother.

I always liked male characters and identified with them.

Most importantly, I felt attracted to the female characters in cartoons and movies, etc. The oldest memory I have of this is of Saory, from the "Saint Seya" anime.
I think she was my first crush =)

Growing up, I never talked about it with anyone, and it deeply saddened me.

If I could give any advice for those who are still in the closet, it is to open up and talk with someone. It will make you feel loads better!

My parents only discovered about me when I was already in college.
Thinking back, I figure they always knew deep within.

All is well now. I have a girlfriend that I can have at home, and I can visit her home. Surely people are getting more open minded!
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Dhanny

Dhanny, age 3

Caracas, Venezuela (1980)

When I was a child, I was like "the toy" in the house, because I'm the youngest of 4 children. I was a bit spoiled, and my one sister even walked the whole city, just to buy me an E.T. doll with lights on the finger and heart.

My childhood was as nice as possible, but I knew I was "different" as early as kindergarten. My teacher called my mom to tell her that I always held hands with another boy, and said it was "abnormal behavior." So the teacher put us in different classrooms. And I think this was the first time that I was "punished" because of my "natural selection" - haha!

I loved playing baseball, swimming, and riding my bike like most kids. But there was always something inside me that made me more soft. I excelled in art, drawing and acting. But when it came to baseball or football, I was the worst!

In high school, I even had a girlfriend! But with pressure about having sex, we had no choice but to break up and just be friends. She was actually a lesbian, and 10 years later we kissed, just to piss off our old friends.

I chose this picture, because it shows me trying to steal some grapes. And my family thought, "How cute! Click the camera!" But when it came to my sexuality, that was a subject not talked about in my house.

But now, I think they feel so natural in my life. My nephew and niece come to my home, and they love my partner. I have been blessed with my family, and I don't feel shame about anything.

I worry about today's kids, who still suffer hardship because of their sexuality.
But we are not aliens. And there is nothing wrong with us, or you.

As long as you respect yourself, you can be respected back. There is a bright future ahead, and it gets better every day. But the most important person we need to love, is ourselves.

Dhanny's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris on "Saved By The Bell")

I watched just to see 'the cute blond guy,' desperate to be his Kelly! 

Jonas

Jonas, age 8

Pernambuco, Brazil (1994)

I suffered a lot of bullying at school by walking around with the girls and not liking soccer/football.

I was the "different" kid in my class. I was "the fat, the freak, and the gay."

I remember at age 6 watching Britney Spears dancing on TV, and I knew the choreography for "...Baby One More Time."


I was so innocent back then. Now, I've gained the respect of my straight friends.
But, I am still struggling to gain acceptance from my parents.

However, I am very happy now.
And I wouldn't change anything about myself, because I was born this way.

Magno

Magno, age 10

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1994)

As a little boy, I was often mistaken for a girl. Not only by school mates who didn't know me well, but also sometimes people on the street. I suspect it was because of my skinny build and my long, bushy hair. My father wanted it kept short, but he'd let me grow it for months before eventually forcing me to trim it.

I also had a very "girly" voice. Some other kids' parents advised me to try and sound more masculine when I spoke, and when I tried to explain to them that my voice sounded that way naturally, they just frowned at me.

I had a best girl-friend in my building who had lots of toys and dolls, and whenever the kids gathered together to play with her stuff, I would always pick the Barbies.

The good thing about coming across as gay so young, is that you never really have to hide or disguise anything. There's no such thing as a "coming out," since people already see you're different, and treat you as such.

The terrible thing about it, is that owing to being different and gay meant dealing with a lot of bullying, confusion, and suffering. I was called "gay" or "f*ggot" often, all before I was even able to fully understand what being gay means.

I went through hell during my school years, and it wasn't until about age 17 that things began to change a bit. That was when I decided there was nothing wrong with me. If people weren't OK with me being gay (be it family members, friends, whoever), then to hell with them.

My advice to young gay kids: School years can be hard, and I suspect they were even harder when I was your age. There weren't any support groups fighting to end the bullying, as there is now. But eventually, all that pain will be gone.

I learned to accept myself the way I am, and learned not to care about other people's opinion about my sexuality.

Magno's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Macaulay Culkin (in "Home Alone") & Elijah Wood

Wanderson

Wanderson, age 6

São Paulo, Brazil (1983)

If you are a gay teenager, you might have thought about ending your own life.
I know I did. I was raised believing that being gay was wrong and that getting married, having kids, and forming a family was the only thing in store for me.

I used to pray before going to bed and ask the Lord to please make me straight, as if it was as that simple. I saw myself as a pervert, and I didn’t realize that my desire for boys was beginning to show.

My dad used to yell at me to talk like a man. I tried really hard but couldn't do it, and as I was just a child, why should I sound like an adult?

As a teenager, it got worse since as my friends started dating, and I was sure that I'd meet the right girl, and she would make me straight. Of course, that never happened and I started feeling depressed all the time.

All I wanted to do was die so the pain would stop.

And then I fell in love with my best friend. I was dating - or trying to date - a girl at the time, but my friend was all I could think of. I can't describe the confusion and pain I went through, and being only 16, couldn't even think about coming out or accepting what I was.

Years passed, and when I turned 23,
I decided it was time to have a conversation with me, myself and I.

And it was a different Wanderson that heard me say: 'I’m gay!' I smiled and he smiled back, and then all was much lighter and free. After that I started coming out to my friends, and every time I did, I felt better and better.

At home, everything was basically bad. And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, someone told my mother about me. That drove her away from me, as she was incapable of handling a gay son. My sister found some love letters I'd sent to a man, and she didn’t handle it well either. I decided to tell my brother who was a teenager, and he was the only one who really tried to understand me.

After that I came to know a world that I never knew existed. I had new friends that were fine with my sexuality, and I finally found a man that showed me what it meant to be in a gay relationship. It didn’t last long, but it made me grow up and helped prepare me for who is now the love of my life - Alexandre.

He taught me about pride and not being afraid of who you are. Today, my mom sees me with new eyes, as someone who's also formed a family. And my sister and brother are closer to me than ever before. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it.

Today, I'm 34 and I do not wish or want to be anything but GAY! Through everything I've built, the friends I have and ones I've lost, and all the obstacles I've moved out of my way, it made me a better man.

Thus, I must tell you: it gets better! MUCH BETTER!!!

Wanderson's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Richard Chamberlain (in "The Thorn Birds")

Helio

Helio, age 4

Nova Iguaçu, Brazil (1987)

I was born in Rio de Janeiro and lived in Nova Iguaçu. Here, I'm dressed like an indian during a Carnival ball with my parents.

A year later my dad died, and I was raised by mum, who never married again.

My family was very conservative and catholic, and mum was the most homophobic person I'd ever met until then.

I grew up in conflict, because by age 8, I wanted to know what it felt like for those "queer, freak, or abnormal people" my mother always secretly insulted at home.


I came out at 15 and suffered a lot. I was judged, humiliated, and even attacked many times - and my mother was the most aggressive person doing this to me.

It was a great battle to change my family's mind, and it took me about 8 years. Today I’m 27, and my story helped other relatives of mine in the same situation. I have 2 lesbian cousins that came out, and my youngest brother also came out last year, much to my mom's frustration!

I became an arts manager and produced a documentary about the gay life in my city. The film was titled "Nova iGAYçu" and here's the craziest part: My mom was the executive producer! That was quite a change of heart, wasn't it?

But just like my mother, my country needs many more minds changed.

In Brazil, every 3 days a member of gay community is killed, and if we include transsexuals, the statistics get higher. Besides the murders, many teenagers are kicked out by their parents just for being gay or lesbian. And in politics, although many advances have been achieved, we still see politicians getting support from the religious mass to make our lives harder than they already are.

But I see homosexuality as a normal way of life, freer than the hetero way.
And, much happier.

Helio's first, famous-person same sex crush:
George Michael
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Glauber

Glauber, age 4
Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil (1994)

Here I am on the phone, pretending to gossip with friends about news and current events. I always had a different way of behaving, and always liked to be near my mother and her friends. And I loved listening to them talk and gossip.

"I love hearing the news!"

By around age 13, I was sure I was "different". Besides the awe I had for my schoolmates, I loved watching "Teletubbies" - and I wanted to be Tinky Winky.

Today, I look at this picture and have a wonderful sense of self pride, because now as an adult, I have the same unique way of showing my personality.

I wish for all young people to understand that being gay is a positive thing about our lives, because it's a way to demonstrate the love of a neighbor.

Long live diversity!


Glauber's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Elton John

And I've always loved his music, too
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Paulina

Paulina, age 7

Quilpué, Chile (1994)

I'm in the white dress here, at ballet class, and this photo is very representative of my childhood. On one hand, you can see my expression of loneliness and sadness. On the other, the obvious efforts of my mother in trying to make me posh and elegant. I always felt different next to all those delicate little girls dancing, so I usually only hung out with the boys.

“Pretending to be soft"

But two childhood situations fill me with memories and feelings of female attractions. In kindergarten, there was a girl whose eyes made me shudder. I could not stop watching.

In my ballet classes, there was a 9-year old girl with the most beautiful smile in the world. I cried with excitement seeing her dance.

It was through dance that I finally discovered myself, and that I always felt different.


A bit later when I was 12, our dance group went to the capital city, for a meeting of many dance groups. There was only one large dressing room with about 150 girls around my age. I was in the hormonal peak of life, and in that moment, seeing myself surrounded by half-naked women, I had an epiphany: 'I like girls.'

But also in that moment, I felt fear. My family was very strict and very religious, and back then, I couldn't listen to secular music and almost all TV shows were banned. It's not a surprise that my religion was against gays, because they think that they are sinners and are possessed by demons.

It took me many years to process my life and think back to that lonely, innocent girl who just hung out with boys. And who struggled to appear more feminine. Finally, I left everything, and fell in love with a woman who filled my heart.

While I lost a lot of people that were important to me (because they believed and still believe that gay friends and their faith are incompatible), I won many new friends who love me and think I'm valuable. They love me for who I am, and not of what I look like.

Today, I am very happy with my wife, Catalina, who stayed with me during this storm. And we just decided to get married. And now, I know that God made me this way. I accept it, and I'm happy.

And for today's gay kids:
Everything bad that you're feeling now, it will all go away. Do not lose hope.

Paulina's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Melissa Joan Hart (in "Clarissa Explains It All")
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Julia

Julia, age 5

Caracas, Venezuela (1990)

That's me on the far right in this pic. The interesting part about this picture is that it shows a very different part of me: I was very feminine as a child. Today, as a grown woman, I am a complete butch! Go figure!

"A feminine butch? You go girl!"

As a child I was always secretly admiring women, especially my preschool teachers who were all very feminine. Since very little, I knew there was something exotic about women - their sweetness, their affection and, their hugs!

I used to play with Barbies a lot, pretending they were girlfriends. Sometimes I even made them kiss! This made me feel I was doing something 'wrong'.

At around the age of 16, I discovered Mariah Carey and became fascinated by her beauty and voice. Time went on with me thinking it was wrong to dream of girls. Then I kind of didn't want to wear feminine clothing, but I had no choice.

I can't say what specific time age I consciously knew I was gay, but I can say that at 24 years old, when I officially came out to my parents, I knew my life began again. And this time, without shame, and without the pressure of being feminine.

My message for gay kids around the world is: Queerness is freedom.

Julia's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Thalia, Mariah Carey, Ellen DeGeneres, & k.d. lang
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