Candace

Candace, age 3
Panama City, Florida (1970)

I don't remember who owned this motorcycle in my photo.
But I do remember that if my brother thought it was cool, well - so did I!

This little tomboy was raised in a Southern Baptist home in northern Florida, and I was taught forgiveness and to love your neighbor as yourself. I was what you would call "all in" and I was very involved with the church as a young girl.

Since no one in my life ever discussed gay people and I was taught "Christian love," I was completely unprepared for the total rejection I received from my church and family when I came out. 

Today, I still consider myself a recovering Southern Baptist.

Yes, 2017 is a world away the 1980's. But figuring out who you are is difficult for any kid, especially for GLBTQ youth living in a far right, Christian home.

While I had little support from my family I did find support from the GLBTQ community. That "family" saved me. 

So to all GLBTQ youth: You are loved!
And to the families of these kids: Love them, period!    
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Norn

Norn, age 6
St. Petersburg, Florida (1975)

It was October 1975, and my my mom dressed my little sister and I up as "hookers" for Halloween. "Hookers" was a sure laugh-riot for any occasion,
but I wonder now what we thought "hookers" were?

I remember mom instructed us to "Swing your purse a lot!"

My mom also used to dress me up as Shirley Temple, Tina Turner, Cher, or Gilda Radner and have me perform for her friends during their cocktail hour. Wigs, dresses, heels, etc. They would HOWL with laughter as I camped it up, and I LOVED getting laughs!

But as I got older, and dressed in drag by my own choice, my mom grew more alarmed. Suddenly this thing that I was rewarded for, the thing that got me attention, I was now being punished for.

I'll just turned 47, and that betrayal still feels raw... Though I hadn't even thought of that until I found this photo.

But today, I still wear whatever I want and I still love to get laughs!
And my art and illustrations feature and salute many of the ladies I love.
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Anthony

Anthony, age 1

Panama City, Florida (1994)

During my teenage years, I wasn't popular. I didn't have a supportive family and I didn't have many friends. And growing up with the hidden identity of being an LGBT kid was rough, especially once I tried to start dating.

As I was rejected by everyone around me, I quickly got attached to guys who showed me any kind of attention. Yet I felt alone in the world, as if no one understood what it was I was going through.

After a little bit of growing up, I finally met a guy who was different.

He was so sweet, caring, and genuine.

I didn't know what to expect, especially being so used to heartbreak and pain. 

But he changed that within me. He taught me how to love and be loved.

He showed me what it was like to be free in my body. And then he PROPOSED! 

We have been happily married 3 years now.

My advice for any other LGBT kids who were/are in my kind of situation, I just need you to know things will get better! Life can be very tough and strange, but there's happiness waiting for you.

Keep your beautiful heads up, hang on to your strength and show the world who and what you are: FREE! 

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Bryant

Bryant, age 7
Plantation, Florida (1993)

I was one of the lucky ones with my family. From a very early age, my mother knew she had a gay son. She always tells the story of how I used to be obsessed with "The Little Mermaid" and how I REALLY wanted the Ariel Barbie doll.

Although my dad didn't approve, she bought the doll for my birthday.

And I took Ariel with me just about everywhere: to the store, to school for show and tell, and to our family gatherings.

One day we went to the beach and Ariel was right by my side. I wanted to go swimming in the ocean and it's only natural that I wanted to take my mermaid doll for a swim.

Unfortunately, due to a huge wave I lost grip of my beloved doll, and she was taken out to sea.


My dad swam out to try to save her, but it was too late. I was crushed and I cried for days. My mom said she was home under the sea, but I just couldn't get over it.

The next day I woke up to find a new Ariel Barbie and a note from my mother that said, "Look who came home!!!" And all was right in the world again.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Thom

Thom, age 10
Orlando, Florida (1973)

This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!

I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.

I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.

Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.

I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
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Dean

Dean, age 4
Hollywood, Florida (1975)

This picture was taken on Halloween when I was in kindergarten. My sister was 10-years old when I was born, and had always wanted a baby sister. Having two brothers already, my sister had her heart set that I was going to be a girl.

On my birthdate, my mom sent my three siblings off to school, and said that when they got home, they would have a new baby brother or a baby sister.

Well, you can imagine my sister's devastation! It wasn't long before my sister realized that I fit into her dolls' clothing, and she could make me the little sister she always wanted!

I knew I was gay around age 5 or 6.
I remember staring at my sister's boyfriend's Speedo at the water park,
and just knowing that I was different.

At times I thought my life would've been easier if I had been born a girl.

Back in the 1970's, I think the majority of us grew up in an "Archie Bunker" like atmosphere. As for my parents, they were never afraid of using the N word, and were not shy about talking about "the Queers" that lived on the next block.

I remember cringing every time they would start to talk about them, knowing that one day my truth had to come out. That, or I was going to have to run away from home to a place like Pleasure Island from "Pinocchio."

I live in Hollywood, CA now and work as a very successful makeup artist. I've worked on people like Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Mariah Carey to just name a few. And I am living the life I always dreamed of! I look back on the small stuff now and laugh, because I remember it seeming to be so all-consuming.

For the LGBTQ youth of today, I say:
Follow your dreams and don't change who you are!
Life does get better. It gets as good as you want it to!

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider ("Dukes of Hazzard")
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Martin

Martin, age 4

Orlando, Florida (1980)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is worth one word: queer. To be completely honest, I don't remember the moment this photo was taken while we were visiting Disneyworld. I do however, remember quite clearly, that as a child I was intrigued by all things glamorous.

Through the innocent eyes of a little Latino gay boy, what's more glamorous than a 6 ft 3 mouse-woman - in a red and white polka dot dress, with super luscious eyelashes, giant yellow pumps, and puffy white gloves? The answer is nothing.

Nothing is more fabulous than Minnie Mouse and her trademark blue
eye-shadow. NOTHING!

The 4-year old Martin, almost instinctively, already knew this to be true. And I think it can be safely said that Minnie Mouse was my first drag queen sighting.

When I look at this picture, I imagine time traveling back to the year 1980. Then I picture grown-up Martin standing in front of tiny Martin, and hugging him and telling him that everything will be okay. And my heart breaks for the difficulty that awaits this sensitive and creative kid.

What I see here is a little boy who is trying to figure out how a fabulous glove was stitched so perfectly. And when I look at this photo, I also wonder how my father could have been disappointed? This is a child with imagination!

He wants to make music and wonderful things and draw lovely pictures.
And so what if he punches like a girl? This boy deserves love.

If I were to show you the uncropped image, you'd also see my mother and my sister. But to me, this moment is not about my family. This moment is about Martin and Minnie. Two souls that understand each other.

This moment is about a gay boy's bliss. He is still unaware of ridicule and discrimination. He is still innocent. He is in love with the construction of a fabulous costume. He seems to know the power of artifice.

And he isn't ashamed quite yet.

Martin's first, famous-person same sex crush:
He-Man, The Most Powerful Man in the Universe
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Sebastian

Sebastian, age 4

Maple Shade, NJ (1983)

I think this was taken at a party for my sister. Clearly, I wanted to make it all about me! I was raised by adoring, retired parents who had me unexpectedly.

"The SON Will Come Out, Tomorrow"

While I later endured the suburban de rigueur rites known as Cub Scouts and softball - where I would sneak off and pick dandelions, or tell stories until my name was screamed for - the fashionable sash and parasol were both allowed by my father.

My dad said little boys of his generation frequently dressed in drag for Halloween. As for my mother? She was a sort of suburban Auntie Mame!

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

My parents realized suburbia was no place to raise a fabulous, gay child. So at 8, we moved to Philadelphia so they could quit driving. Despite early beatings from local urban "thugs" I found my niche at a progressive prep school. That's where I found, art, writing, and wonderful friends.

In this picture, I see both the excitement and nervousness of my feminine sash and decidedly Victorian, little-girl pose. Now, I look much the same. I still have ponderous brown eyes that are both thrilled and afraid to be in front of a camera.

I still have a tendency to wear bright colors in strange combinations. However,
I don't dress in drag that often. Although, there are requests at parties, which I do occasionally make good on.

I have always, as many gay people have, taken risks. Professionally, that means making my dreams come true, and NOT fitting into any one role. At 25, I tried moving to Switzerland, but it didn't work out. At 27, I quit a stable job and started writing professionally, with a variety of odd-jobs and side gigs to keep me afloat.

Now at 31, I live in Wilton Manors, Florida - the GAYEST town in America, outside of Fort Lauderdale. I'm also the editor of the South Florida Gay News, and life IS a banquet!

Annie

Annie, age 9

Fort Walton Beach, FL (1992)

I was a tomboy as a child. I spent my time riding bikes with my best friend
(a boy) and climbing trees. When family got together, my female cousins and I would spend a lot of time playing dress up and putting on "shows". As you can see, I was willing to dress the part of the boy in our performances.

I didn't come to terms with the fact that I was gay until after I had graduated college. I spent a lot of time going through the motions of dating guys and fulfilling expectations.

When I finally did come out, and embraced who I was and the feelings I was having, I discovered a lot of gay moments I'd had in retrospect.

For instance, I'm quite sure my first crush was my 1st grade teacher,

Ms. Lutrell.

Looking at the photo today amuses me, as I consider myself a "femme" lesbian, and I don't wear men's clothes as an adult.

But it's interesting to look at this photo and realize I was comfortable exploring gender roles, even at a very young age. 

Today, I am out and proud and have an amazingly supportive family, for whom I am extremely grateful.

Amber

Amber, age 7

Kissimmee, Florida (1994)

In my photo, I was on vacation with my parents. I insisted on dressing up for Halloween, even if I couldn't go trick or treating. I didn't think that it was odd that I wanted to be a pirate, or that my pirate was male.

I didn't think it was odd to have a crush on Mrs. Walsh, my 2nd grade teacher. And not odd that I wanted to be a construction worker when I grew up.

Nor did I think it was odd to do my best to dress like a football player. I'd even steal my dad's socks and pull them up over my pants.

When I played, it was with my GI Joe or He-Man action figures.


My prized possession was my Sword of Omens (from "Thundercats"). I once got chased home after defending my friend's honor. Her much older brother was picking on her, so I tried chopping his head off with my wooden sword. It seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.

Acting like a boy never seemed odd to me. Odd was what happened after puberty.

Sexually, I was a very late bloomer. I remember being in 7th grade and randomly choosing one of the boys to be the one I had a crush on. In high school, I should have figured something was up when my first crush was on a guy - who I mistook for a girl when I first saw him.

I didn't really start coming to terms with myself till college, and even then I went kicking and screaming. I had pictures of Fairuza Balk all over my dorm-room and was insanely jealous of the time my best friend spent with her boyfriend.

And, I still insisted on dating guys. I was 21 the first time I had sex with a girl,
and that was when everything started making sense again.

Amber's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Winona Ryder

Just watch the last few minutes of the "Mistress of the Dark" movie to see why...

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Robert

Robert, age 4

Brooksville, FL (1974)

The pic is from my cherished "memories" cabinet. It was my Kindergarten play and first costume ever in public. If you look close, you can see the real prunes my mother pinned onto the outfit. And notice the pink ricrac. The next year I was the King, for my big jump to 1st grade. And this is where my storytelling and theatrical career began! I LOVE this pic now, and actually gave framed copies, signed by "The Gingerbread Man" to my mom & two sisters in 2004!

"The Gingerbread Man"

A good friend shot this pic, whom also I ended up having theatrical adventures with, and who also had a best childhood friend who was gay!

She recently gave us tickets to see 9 To 5 and West Side Story, so take that, haters! Just because you come out, does not mean you will lose everything and everyone.

I was, and still am, energetic, overly creative, and smart. My folks started me in dance class to expel some energy.

I had no desire for sweaty sports, until I got much older. Much, much, older.

I have been gay since birth, though I didn't feel "different" until a supposed best friend turned on me in 7th grade. Then the hell began. I couldn't wait to get out of my small town, so I went to college far away.

It is hard to love your family and stay friends with folks from childhood, but really dislike the pervading pall that is the blessing/curse of an isolated small town. It's great in some ways, but certain cancers are never fully eradicated.
Still, until a best friend turned on me and made me his target, it was great.

Now, being an adult, I am out, proud, and quite open with my life. Although things naturally shift when your life doesn't revolve around alcohol and sex as much as it does in one's 20's (regardless of gender, identity, or orientation). And for anyone who comes out late, it simply means re-living being 16 again, with all of the pitfalls and inherent traps.

Which is why so many older gays that come out act so outlandish. The sudden freedom is so liberating, and the pent up sexual energy is finally released, so to speak. It does wreak some havoc in its wake. Luckily, mine played out in tandem with mostly normal development, and I've counseled more than my share of older, closeted gays about what is to come.

So remember, everyone:
It is not always self shame, but external shame thrust upon us, that causes us to feel different. No matter what age.

Let Love Lead.

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Race Bannon ("Jonny Quest")

I still have a thing for platinum Daddies.
And I've ben happily partnered to one for nearly 7 years now...

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Luke

Luke, age 3

Flagler Beach, Florida (1989)

I know this photo was taken on a vacation while visiting my uncle’s family. Sadly, I have no recollection of what was occurring at that moment. So in the hopes I was as much like Stewie Griffin as I'd like my younger self to have been, I imagine I must have been aghast due to something about a family member. Such as whenever I was with my uncle's family, I recall pondering over the absurdity of the millions of varicose veins that painted my older aunt's legs.

I discovered I was gay when I was age 12, but I spent the next 11 years doing everything I could for this not to be the case.

Why? Because I was the golden child in my family.

And the pressure to be perfect screwed with my desire for personal happiness.

Plus, I went to a private school where the students' mantra was, 'Kill anything which might seem queer, overweight, ugly, or dorky'.

And I would have been bully fodder, if my appreciation of the "Sailor Moon" series was exposed. But nowadays, I feel I've made a complete 180 change in the way I look at the fact that I’m gay.

What worked helping me, and what I recommend for young gays is:

1) Come out to a fellow gay who doesn’t pose any risk. I didn’t even really know the first person I told my "secret" to would end up being an incredible mentor. And who helped me more than he knows.

2) Fall in love! It's incredible when the desire to publicly express your feelings for someone outweighs your biggest fear.

Luke's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mario Lopez (But only while acting as Olympic diver Greg Louganis)
___________________________________________________

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Wayne

Wayne, age 10
Walton Beach, FL (1972)

Here's me, in the finest fashion of that era. And my mother made that fine shirt for me! Thanks, mom! Funny to see now though, as I grew up to be someone "punk" who ended up wearing such a drab palette of black, gray, and denim.

"The original Tony Manero?"

I was pegged as different very early on. My mom tells me I went through a "red" phase, and even wanted to dress myself from head to toe in red, red, and more red. I DO NOT remember that phase.

But I DO remember my thing with "purple" though. I'd read somewhere that purple was the color of "royalty" and I attached some significance to the fact I was a Leo, and therefore the King Of The Beasts. And I was painfully and obviously different. But somehow, I decided all these connections made sense, as purple was the color of my birthright.

Below, you'll see my first crush was Bobby Sherman. But why can I remember each and every word to his show's TV theme song?

"The bluest skies you'll ever see, are in SEATTLE!
And the hills are green as green, in SEATTLE!
Like a beautiful child, growing up free and wild
Full of hope, full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in SEATTLE!"

I mean, I know the song was on the back of my cereal box and "theme songs" are built on memorability, but really - all of that??? I can't even remember any character or plot on the show!

Wayne's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Bobby Sherman
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Patti

Patti, age 3

Jacksonville, FL (1961)

This is the final picture in a series of photos with me and my older brother.
The earlier photos show me pitching a fit to be allowed to drive this fire engine - by myself. I wasn’t content to be seated in the back, nor in sharing the ride with my brother. I remember wanting to drive and to not be wearing this dress! Today, I still kinda feel bad for kicking my brother out of the Fire Chief's seat.

"WHERE'S THE FIRE?!"

Being raised in the bible-belt as a Southern Baptist, it was natural for me to attempt to repress feelings that I was different, though I was certainly considered a tomboy.

I grew up in a time when kids could play anywhere they wanted as long as you were close enough to hear your dad's whistle calling you home RIGHT NOW!
I could often be found in some tree fort playing war games with the other neighborhood boys.

To my brother's chagrin, as little tow-headed kids running around shirtless in swim trunks, we were often mistaken for twin brothers. I don’t remember if he was more bothered that people thought we were the same age - or the same gender!

I looked forward to his hand-me-downs and still resist the urge to raid his closet when I visit him now. Though not initially happy that his little sister was gay, he always remained protective of me even if we fought like cats and dogs at home.

To young kids trying to figure things out, find someone you can trust to talk to about how you’re feeling, especially if you’re being bullied. You are not alone and no matter what, it gets better.

Patti's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Karen Carpenter
It’s funny how all of my daydreams about her
involved rescuing her from some catastrophe.

Mike

Mike, age 2
Jacksonville, Florida (1949)

"Honey, get your hands off your hips.
That's how I got started."

I was a pretty happy kid, and always very artistic. I got the colored chalk in 1st grade and would draw holiday pictures.

I won the Jacksonville baby contest a little while before this was shot, so I guess I made my debut back then - complete with a little gold cardboard crown (my first tiara).

I didn't even figure out I was gay until my 20's, but I always knew I was different. I hated sports, and I loved outer-space shows and cowboy shows on TV.

Today I'm a full-time painter of the Southwest, and my work is shown in the Booth Museum.

There's something about butch men in boots really does it for me. And maybe something about Indians tying them up, too.

I love this picture, now that I love myself as a gay adult.

To young gay kids: Those other kids giving you a hard time now will soon fade into your memory. Don't let them define you, and whatever you do - try not to live in anger. That hurts you more than it hurts them. And it means they won.

I've been very comfortably out for decades now and wouldn't have it any other way. The straight folks that really count in your life, really don't care.

Be proud and make a great example.
That's what will change peoples' minds about gay people.

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tommy Kirk (in Disney's "Hardy Boys")
He turned out to be gay too. I guess I had Gaydar even back in the 50's...
__________________________________________________

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Kevin

Kevin, age 3
Granby, Connecticut (1964)

This is a picture of me with my sister and her life sized doll. She used to love to dress me in that dolls' clothes when we played together! I remember when I was a little older, I'd sneak up into the attic to play with this doll and her Barbie dolls. I just loved dressing them and spent every minute I could with them.

"With Paula... and The Future Bride Of Chucky!"

I remember trying to “come out” to my Mother when I was about 10, but I just couldn't find the words to clearly say what I was feeling. I could only explain that I liked to do things that girls liked to do, like play house and play with dolls. She assured me it was OK for boys to like those things, and not to worry about it.

The deeper secret that I could not bring myself to tell her was my fascination with grown mens' hairy forearms and arm pits. We had a roofer one Summer working on the house, and I'd climb the ladder every day to watch him work shirtless - without really understanding why he was so fascinating.

Looking at this pic today, I remember how happy I was in that innocent time before beginning school and becoming a total misfit. I always stood out as the effeminate one, constantly picked on all through grade school into high school.

My Father and brother did their best trying to “butch” me up, but I was just too sensitive to enjoy our frequent hunting and fishing trips, and always preferred doing something creative instead. I was always much more comfortable spending time with the women in my family.

My way of rationalizing all of this, was that I was learning how to do everything a man and a woman could do, so I'd always be able to take care of myself.

I never lost faith that there would be a "happily ever after" for me and I finally found it! I have been with my husband 15 years this year. We retired earlier this year (both before age 50) and we're living a permanent vacation in Florida now.

We had a wonderful Civil Union in Connecticut when they became legal, and also married there when that law passed.

I wouldn't change one thing about my past struggles, because those challenges have made me the self-confident person that I am today!

So remember, kids: school years are hard for everyone. Even the most popular and highest achievers have their crosses to bear. I learned later in life that most bullies, when challenged, back right down.

Bullies attack because of their own insecurities. The most beautiful don't think they are good looking, and the brightest don't believe they're smart enough.

So just be strong and be confident - even when you are scared to death!

Kevin's first famous person same sex crushes:
Robert Conrad ("The Wild, Wild West")
Robert's tight pants made me crazy!
Oh, and Wally from 'Leave It To Beaver' sure looked great in a T-shirt!
__________________________________________________

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Mike

Mike, age 6

Orlando, FL (1987)

On my birthday here, I was told we were going to a family member's house for my birthday, and I picked out this outfit that morning, because I wanted to stand out from everyone else at the party. It was going to be a long drive from our place in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and I napped on the way. Little did I know when I woke up, that the first thing I'd see was the Disney World road sign, and I was so surprised and excited! We spent the whole day doing Disney, and it was one of the greatest birthdays of my life. I got to see all my favorite characters that day!

"Snapshot. Take my picture. Snapshot!!!"

I didn’t know I was gay until I was 12, when I first knew there was a word to describe how I felt. I ALWAYS liked boys, but I thought all boys liked boys, so I never felt “different” and didn’t know there was anything else to feel.

I really miss that spirit I had as a kid.

I wore whatever made me feel good, and didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. Now, there is so much pressure to wear the right brands or the right styles, and that takes the fun out of life.

My message for the gay kids of today is:

Don't lose the wonderful spirit that you have. The only thing you have to hold on to as you grow, is your spirit!

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

New Kids On The Block

The entire band! I had the lunchbox, the pillow people, the posters,
the action figures - EVERYTHING!

Scott

Scott, age 5
Oldsmar, Florida (1964)

I grew up in Oldsmar, Florida where this pic was taken. As you can see, I was always a "show-off" and liked attention.

Unfortunately, I got teased and hassled through high school. Certainly not the type of attention I wanted, but I persisted and I survived.

I first started realizing I was different around 3rd grade, but did not formally "come-out" until my early 20’s.

Now, as I look at the picture, I understand why my mother told me she already knew, when I finally told her. I also realized that I had some fun growing up, despite the teasing.



I'm 51 now, and relatively successful, and my life is good.

So, my advice to those being teased, hazed, and hassled:
Hang in there, because all that negativity will end soon enough.

You will grow up, look back at the fun times with a smile, and look at the hard times with a feeling of pride and accomplishment - for those were the tests of your resolve to succeed.
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Spencer

Spencer, age 2

Winter Haven, FL (1983)

I do not remember a time when I did not know I was “different” - although there were of course many years when I did not know a name for it. What I did understand in the early days was that, whatever the mysterious difference in me turned out to be, many people seemed to find exceptional joy in it.

 "Approving million-dollar deals"

For instance, as a baby I could predictably get people laughing by doing little more than striking - what felt to me - a perfectly natural pose while holding a telephone receiver. But which looked to others more akin to Janice Pennington modeling a sports watch on The Price is Right. I found tremendous joy then in my ability to share often with others the most wonderful of human behaviors: laughter. So I hammed it up.

Eventually, however, I got old enough to figure out more about the society I'd been born into. I learned how we are a population that too often uses laughter to deride individuals, especially those most vested with a character of exuberance. It was upon this realization that everything changed.

All aspects of my existence – my gait, my voice, my hobbies, even my extended kindnesses and personal intimacies – were now opened raw to the criticisms of mocking chuckle. I found myself persuaded by experience to redefine laughter as something quite opposite than the indication of one's joie de vivre I'd always taken it for granted to be.

For a short period thereafter I became significantly less blithe to laughter in general. This was around the end of 6th grade. My mother was a principal force in steering me away from the depression I experienced at that time. She was available always for conversation and a good honest crack-up, and though I did not “come out” to her until age 19, it was way back in 7th grade that she let me know it was okay and that my life was a beautiful thing:

It was in our bathroom. My hair was dripping Clairol highlighting cream from under the plastic cap I'd picked out earlier that afternoon at Walmart. I remember standing there, smelling my hair fry and realizing what I'd actually done. And that tomorrow, I'd have to attend middle school donning perhaps the gayest head of hair the 90's would ever see.

That is when my mother, ever-attentive, found my eyes in the mirror, and with a sincere, blissful abandon, she commenced to laugh so incredibly hard as to rectify any and all future self-doubts.

Different isn't frightening, she was telling me with that laugh, different is fun. Son, your life is going to be a blast.

Spencer's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Home Improvement")

And sometimes his TV brothers, too.

Ken

Ken, age 5
Orlando, FL (1986)

This is a picture of me, my grandmother, and sister on a road trip to Orlando. I'm pretty sure that I think grammie's mauve pantsuit is quite fabulous.

"Fab-u-lous!

This is the same grandmother that let me play with Barbies and My Little Ponies while watching "The Golden Girls" on Saturday nights. 3 out of the 8 children from my generation that regularly spent time in her house turned out to be gay. One owns a gay bar in Portland. I was always the loner of the group and came out the latest at 24.

I'm pretty sure my mom knew when she took this picture (or one of the many others I came across that are basically the same). Or maybe it was the My Little Ponies and Barbies. I didn't know until puberty, around age 11, when I started dreaming about boys in my class.

I was always artistic and sensitive and was a late bloomer. I love looking back at this time now - but I just wish I'd had the courage to come out sooner, and open doors for other people in my small town.

Ken's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Richard Dean Anderson ("MacGuyver")
Costas Mandylor ("Picket Fences")
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