Robert

Robert, age 3
Cleveland, Ohio (1955)

This picture was, and still is, the real me. I have always been a record collector.
I am 59, African-American, and GAY.

I was mostly OK until Kindergarten.

My teacher there told my father that I liked to play with the girls and their dolls. He told me, 'Boys do not play with dolls' and he did not like that at all. So, he taught me "boy stuff," like throwing a football.

The next trials came when I went to Junior High School. The other boys did not want me on their teams. I was called a sissy by most of them.

My 8th grade teacher asked me, 'Robert, are you a faggot?'

The other boys at that time called me "Rob-Butt" and there was also bullying and ridicule from the older, larger boys. So, I kept to myself. It wasn't as bad when I got to High School. Most of the boys had failed their classes, and I graduated at 17.

I told my parents that I am gay when I was 19. My father took it as a failure on his part. But I told him it had nothing to do with him. My mother thought I would grow out of it, but I have not. I have been out and proud since I was 19, and was even in the Marine Corps Reserve Program.

The reason I like this blog, is that everyone says it gets better - and it does!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Robert

* Blogmaster's Note *
Robert is the guy who wowed us all with his Madonna "Vogue" video.
And I am thrilled to present you his "Born This Way" story. Enjoy!
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Robert, age 10
Boston, Massachusetts (1992)

This is a photo of me, my sister Jennifer, and our dogs Frisky and Chloe.
It's especially significant to me as they were born the summer I did my "Vogue" video, and their birth truly completed "our family."

Not long before I discovered Bette Davis, Diana Ross, and Madonna, I spent hours adoring Donna Summer, Laura Branigan, and the "Solid Gold" dancers.

My lone male idol as a toddler made me feel different from how I felt watching my many beloved female idols. It was Michael Jackson, who was not only my idol, he was my Prince Charming.

What I consider my "defining homosexual moment" occurred around age 4, while watching a TV special hosted by Shari Lewis. During a musical number, one of the male performers onstage happened to be gorgeous, muscular, and clad only in a loin cloth and fez. And my body tingled in a way I couldn't understand.

I had no idea why the sight gave me a feeling so utterly lovely, but the awareness was palpable enough that I have never forgotten it.

I barely knew what homosexuality was when I performed to "Vogue" at age 9.
Back then, I was precocious, but innocent: carefree, unaware, and having a blast.


People ask if my parents knew I was gay then, but they didn't know for years.
Their love for my sister and I was unconditional and overflowing. Physical safety and emotional well-being was their only concern for "how we would turn out" when we moved from childhood to adulthood.

My mother put her emphasis on honesty, while my father relentlessly instilled tolerance. Self-expression was never stifled. Whether I mimicked male or female idols was never an issue: they loved me, my uniqueness, and my ability to not try to fit an image.

I had no idea how lucky I was. I thought my upbringing was "normal."
And I hope that society is moving towards proving my inner child right.

My message to youth now is:
FEEL the power of being yourself!

Your REAL family will love YOU for who YOU are. If your biological family does not, then your REAL family has yet to be discovered.

There IS a world of love that awaits beyond the pain of growing up in a heterosexist society, so allow yourself to be excited for what lay ahead.
So please - don't give up!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Robert

Robert, age 3
Torrance, CA (1974)

Here I am with my proud dad and mom.

By this age, I had to wear those glasses and an eye patch, to correct an eye problem I was born with.

If you look closely, I'm wearing a butch Rams football jacket.

But to make up for that,
I am also holding my own purse, and a pink flower in the other hand.

Also check out
"My First Gay Crush"

Robert

Robert, age 4

Brooksville, FL (1974)

The pic is from my cherished "memories" cabinet. It was my Kindergarten play and first costume ever in public. If you look close, you can see the real prunes my mother pinned onto the outfit. And notice the pink ricrac. The next year I was the King, for my big jump to 1st grade. And this is where my storytelling and theatrical career began! I LOVE this pic now, and actually gave framed copies, signed by "The Gingerbread Man" to my mom & two sisters in 2004!

"The Gingerbread Man"

A good friend shot this pic, whom also I ended up having theatrical adventures with, and who also had a best childhood friend who was gay!

She recently gave us tickets to see 9 To 5 and West Side Story, so take that, haters! Just because you come out, does not mean you will lose everything and everyone.

I was, and still am, energetic, overly creative, and smart. My folks started me in dance class to expel some energy.

I had no desire for sweaty sports, until I got much older. Much, much, older.

I have been gay since birth, though I didn't feel "different" until a supposed best friend turned on me in 7th grade. Then the hell began. I couldn't wait to get out of my small town, so I went to college far away.

It is hard to love your family and stay friends with folks from childhood, but really dislike the pervading pall that is the blessing/curse of an isolated small town. It's great in some ways, but certain cancers are never fully eradicated.
Still, until a best friend turned on me and made me his target, it was great.

Now, being an adult, I am out, proud, and quite open with my life. Although things naturally shift when your life doesn't revolve around alcohol and sex as much as it does in one's 20's (regardless of gender, identity, or orientation). And for anyone who comes out late, it simply means re-living being 16 again, with all of the pitfalls and inherent traps.

Which is why so many older gays that come out act so outlandish. The sudden freedom is so liberating, and the pent up sexual energy is finally released, so to speak. It does wreak some havoc in its wake. Luckily, mine played out in tandem with mostly normal development, and I've counseled more than my share of older, closeted gays about what is to come.

So remember, everyone:
It is not always self shame, but external shame thrust upon us, that causes us to feel different. No matter what age.

Let Love Lead.

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Race Bannon ("Jonny Quest")

I still have a thing for platinum Daddies.
And I've ben happily partnered to one for nearly 7 years now...

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Robert

Robert, age 6

Merced, CA (1992)

I was an entertainer, a dancer, and loved to sing. I'm guessing my mom snapped this picture of me reciting my 'I'm a little teapot' skit on the kitchen chair.

“I’m the fiercest teapot you’ll ever meet, (insert finger snap)!!!”

The rainbow shirt? Pure coincidence? I think not!

That was my favorite shirt growing up, though I haven't been to Germany yet.

I remember looking at this picture and thinking, 'Sh*t, how did mom and dad NOT know?!' 

I hated doing anything physical. I would much rather cook with Mom, and always had to look nice, no matter where I was going…

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Stamos ("Full House")
I still blush when I see hm! :)

Robert

Robert, age 2

Lakeville, Massachusetts (1970)

This photo was taken in my parents' first apartment in rural Massachusetts. That's my older brother next to me dressed as a pumpkin. Obviously it's Halloween, and I'm 2, so I can't take too much credit for the first stab at drag.

It took a lot of cajoling to get my Mother, who is not amused by my love for this photo, to explain why she would dress her two year old son as a girl for Halloween. Finally she admitted, 'When you were a baby, everyone thought you were a girl, so your Father and I thought it would be funny to dress you as one for Halloween. End of story.'

Maybe I didn't pick the outfit, maybe I didn't tie the kerchief - but that extended pinkie is all mine!

I first started to notice I wasn't the same as other boys in 3d grade - playing with dolls at recess with the girls, not playing sports, generally being a loner.
It was really 7th grade, when puberty started to hit, that I knew I was attracted to boys.

Honestly, until the age of 18 I thought it was something I was going to grow out of. Then I turned 18 and realized I wasn't going to grow out of it.

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Willie Aames and Christopher Atkins in "Blue Lagoon"
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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