Tony

Tony, age 6
Natchez, Mississippi (1973)

I'm on the left in my photo, with my little brother. I grew up in the deep south in a very Christian town. Although we moved around a lot, we always ended up back in Natchez. I knew I was gay as far back as I can remember. I didn't know the term "gay" but I knew I enjoyed being around other boys my age.

I would stay at my grandmother's house a lot, which was the best place in the world to me. My grandmother had 5 daughters and she kept all of their things in what was called the 'toy room.'

I was always dressing up in my aunt's prom dress with all of its pink tulle and fluff, wearing her platform clogs and painting my nails with magic markers.

I loved playing with Barbies and their 70's play sets. I was always putting Barbie and her friends in different hairdo's and fancy dresses, because they were always going to fancy parties. And not just one party, but several a day. Every few minutes they had to run home for a complete makeover for the next party.

And my Miss Piggy puppet was the best thing in my world!!! She and I were inseparable. I would give her amazing hairstyles and make outfits for her.

I also remember sitting on the shag carpet in our living room, watching something on TV by myself. It must have had mermaids in it, because I rolled myself up in a blanket - and I was a instant mermaid!

I remember my mom walking in, and asking me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm a mermaid!!!"

Well, that didn't sit well with my mother. And I didn't understand why she gave me such a weird look after I said I was a mermaid.

Around 8 years old, I remember having a crush on a boy in my class that I thought the world of. I even remember his name -- Billy. I would stare at him in class wondering what it would be like to hold hands and kiss him.

As I got older, things got pretty bad. Kids in Jr. High knew I was different, even though I tried to hide being gay. But the other kids knew. I was always being threatened to be beaten up on a daily basis, to the point I would break out in hives on my wrists everyday before school.

It wasn't any better at home. My father was a sociopath and was extremely mentally abusive. My mom was so busy dealing with him that she only found relief in her Pentecostal church, where I was told I was going to hell for being gay. And those kids at church were more evil than the kids at school!

Looking back, my fondest memories are about my grandmother and her amazing amount of love, because she allowed me to be me without judgement.

That was the world I had at her house, and I'm eternally grateful to her for that.

I do have a happy ending, though. As a young adult, I met a guy in town and I fell in love. And as soon as I turned 18 we moved to Atlanta, Georgia.

Today, I live in Los Angeles and have made my truest home here.
I love my life now and wouldn't change it for anybody else's life!!!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Cricket

Cricket, age 7
Biloxi, Mississippi (1984)

My photo is from an Arts & Crafts fair I was at with my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousins. We were selling handmade monkey puppets that wrapped around your body. They wanted me to pose next to the rocking pony for a picture, and I didn't want to. Hence the sassy attitude, which I still have today.

I was raised in the suburbs of New Orleans, and my mom and dad were divorced before I was born.

My grandparents and an aunt raised me with a watchful eye.

I was not a shy boy, and I was very outgoing, artsy, and athletic. I loved tumbling, painting, volleyball, soccer, and cheerleading.

My father tried to get me to play more "manly" sports, but that never worked out.

I always felt different, and not like my cousins or anyone I knew.


I first realized I was gay was when a neighbor's son (a Marine) came to get me to drive me to where my father was with his friends.

We were walking down the street and he asked if I wanted to race. I said sure, and he took off like a bat out of hell. All I could look at was his butt. It was so perfectly round! I was so attracted to it, but didn't know what that feeling meant.

Today, I'm a dental assistant living in Chicago with barely any communication with my family. I feel my father is ashamed of me for being gay, and that most of my family is mad at me for leaving to try and pursue a life outside of the south.

But I'm still dancing and cheerleading, and I love it.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Patrick

Patrick, age 8

Pascagoula, MS (1988)

From an early age I was one of those little boys that liked to play dress up. I never cross dressed exactly, but feminine accessories interested me.

I was about 6 when my grandma caught me playing with her "robber purse", a decoy purse with a $10 bill she left lying around the house.

At 8, my cousin caught me trying on this French beret and scarf, seen in my pic. I guess I grew out of all this, as I'm not at all into fashion now, and never wear scarves.

I'd be lying if I said I knew from an early age I was gay. I suspected in high school, and didn't really deal with it until I was in college. The writing was on the wall though.

I did always know that I was a little different, and more quiet and contemplative than most kids. My favorite things in the world was watching "The Golden Girls," "Designing Women," and "Steel Magnolias" with my grandma.

This was all fun and normal to me, until I grew up enough to be tainted by the outside world's idea of what "normal" was.

My family was great though, always letting me just be myself. When I finally came out to my folks, their response was that they had suspected it since I was barely 5 years old!

There was actually a big "what if" discussion about it, when I came swishing into the room, as my parents and their friends sat around at a party. In hindsight,
I wish they would have told me.

My coming out may have been easy, but it didn't make growing up gay in small town Mississippi easy. Peers were not so understanding, and life was pretty tough until college. But as I have grown up, things have gotten better. And in college,
I finally began to integrate all the feelings I had been having.

The biggest thing I want kids to realize, is that all of those things that made me so different back then, just make me interesting and fun to others now. When I talk to my gay friends about growing up, most of them have had similar experiences.

So to all the questioning, curious, LGBTQ kids out there, I say: Hang in there!
Just be yourself, and it will all come out in the wash.

Patrick's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Michael J. Fox

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Kevin

Kevin, age 4

N. Mississippi (1981)

I don't really remember a lot about this time. I had two older brothers who where really into hunting and fishing, something I have never enjoyed. About this same time, I got a Barbie "Styling Head" for Christmas from my Mom, officially because my Mom liked to relax by having someone comb her hair.
And I got a Winchester shotgun from my dad.

The Barbie head got a lot more use than the shotgun ever did.

"I've always been a bear lover"

It's hard to answer when first knew I was gay, or felt "different". Most people talk about a closet when coming out. I had a brick wall of religious ideology to bust through before I could open the closet door. I credit the 5 openly gay guys in my senior class for helping me start the process indirectly - even though it was three more years before I came out to myself.

I enjoyed my childhood, and thankfully was never really picked on.

Kevin's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

David James Elliott (Cmdr. Harmon Rabb from "JAG")
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