Theodore

Theodore (Tedd), age 6
San Diego, California (1954)

I always felt like an only child. Even with three older brothers, I never bonded with any of them. They didn’t want to be seen with me, so I stayed home with my mom. 

I was bullied and teased growing up, mostly by one of my brothers.
Sadly, he was the one I admired the most.

I knew I was different the first day of kindergarten at age 5. The teacher taking attendance called “Theodore” and I just sat there until she called “Teddy” to which I answered: 'Here.' Then she said, “Well, don’t you even know your name?” The entire class broke out laughing when I said: 'No.' 

That was by far the most embarrassing day ever, and set the tone for the majority of my life. And it took years to rebuild confidence in who I am and always was.

Growing up mostly in the San Diego area, I had it fairly easy as a closeted gay person. And thankfully, religion was not a part of my upbringing.

My first same-gender attraction was also at age 5. I found myself strangely attracted to our neighbor daughter’s boyfriend, a sailor! As a teen, my first celebrity crush was actor Glenn Corbett, from the early 1960’s TV show, "Route 66."

However, it was Audrey Hepburn I was in awe of. She was the most elegant woman that ever lived. I also watched a lot of Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly musicals as I grew up. So, I guess you could say that was somewhat of an obsession.

I would also turn to music as the refuge from the pressures of being different and not fitting in at school. I sat alone in my bedroom getting lost in whatever type of music I had access to, and often singing and dancing. Today, I still listen to music as a go-to, good feeling place when I feel down. And I'm still singing and dancing.

The rest of my teenage years would have been the loneliest time of my life if it weren’t for my best friend, Bill. He was straight, and I didn’t come out to him until I was 68 years old! His reaction was: "And I’m straight. So what?"

At age 21, I married my high school sweetheart, and I came out to my mom at age 26. End of marriage! My mom’s reaction: “We always knew you were different.”  The rest of the family was accepting; however, I distanced myself from them to protect them from being harassed for having a gay family member.

And my biggest regret? Not having children while I was still married.

I graduated college and became a residential architect. I went into business with my first male partner, also an architect, and we were together 24/7. I really wanted to be a fashion designer or professional dancer, but thought it was too gay to do that. But I’ve started designing and making outfits, just for fun.

So my adult relationships lasted 17 years, then 13 years, then a different 13 years (and each sure have their own stories). I retired at age 67, and in my post retirement career - I became a porn star at age 70!

Now at age 74, what gives me the most pride is being a role model and mentor for younger gay men. I have several friends in their 30’s that use me as a sounding board for issues they are faced with in their lives.   

And in closing, my message to LGBTQ+ kids today is this: 

Be who you are and don’t give up on your dreams. And know that the person you need to count on the most, is the one you see in the mirror every morning. 

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Al

Al, age 2

North East, Pennsylvania (1972)

I am the youngest of four siblings. I have two older brothers, and you've heard about the "gay theory" right? The more older brothers you have, the more likely you could be gay.

I'm not sure exactly what age I knew I was gay, but I knew I always liked looking at male bodies at summer camp, in gym class, at swim practice, and on TV. And I just thought all guys were feeling that, too. So as long as I wasn't blatantly obvious, no one ever said anything to me.

I knew of two pretty "out" guys (well, as out as you could be back then) who were obviously gay. I don't know if they ever announced this, but they never seemed to have any problems with it in school.

I was always interested in other things besides sports. I played with Barbie dolls with my three close "girl friends" from the neighborhood. So that might have been a clue. Plus I was always taking Ken's clothes off as often as I could! 

As a pre-teen, I used to dance to my 45 records alone in our basement. It was very "Solid Gold" type dancing. And I wonder if any of my family members ever saw me? Surely, they would have known.

I was also fascinated with "celebrity" culture.
Wanting to be a celebrity, and wanting to meet one. 

Because I thought if I became famous, I would finally feel loved.

See, my parents were from the generation where verbal "I love you's" never happened. And as a gay child who already felt different and alienated from my whole family, I needed and wanted that extra assurance and care from my parents.

One family moment that stays in my memory was a New Year's Eve party at our house, and I was told that you kiss everyone at midnight. I was around age 9, and I went and kissed my brother on the lips. And I remember him reacting strongly against that. I don't remember my parents reaction exactly, but I'm sure somehow that moment seeped into my subconscious: it isn't OK to kiss another man.

Another strong memory was getting my International Male magazine subscription around age 15, the closest thing we had to male erotica at the time. I used to pretend I was one of the models, and would "hump" the bed. But I was imagining it was a woman, not a man. Certainly kind of odd, right?

I also used to rent those soft-core straight movies like "Red Shoe Diaries" in the 80's, and I knew I was only renting it for the men, because they were all usually very hot, and there was always a lot of nudity! But I never watched any gay porn until after I came out after college.

But speaking of college: I repressed my sexuality all throughout it, tried to go the whole "straight route," and I even turned my back on my closeted friend from high school when he came out to me later in college. I thought he might be trying to get me to come out, too.

So I lived in a frat house, "dated" girls, and even had sex with two women. But not very successfully. And that just turned me into a raging alcoholic. I would get super drunk at our parties, and that's how I would get out of sleeping with girls. Which is pretty sad to think about. My frat brothers even called me "Too drunk to f*ck!" But it never stopped me from getting drunk again!

Eventually I moved to Orlando, FL because I knew I couldn't come out in my small hometown. And there I started going to a straight club on Thursday nights, their "Bad Disco" -- aka gay -- night. And once I started going alone, I remember being cruised and cruising men for the first time, and it started to feel validating

When I got that attention, it was the first time I actually had another man look at me, as if they liked me. Which most straight peers get to experience in high school. So because I had no male sexual contact with anyone in high school or college, I was like a kid in a candy shop!

Then in the 90's, I remember racking up big bills on pay phone-sex lines that were big back then. I had a bit of a sexual addiction and was having phone sex with random strangers from all over the country. One of my phone sex regulars even met me in person, but I turned him down. His reality just didn't match my fantasy.

Because I was playing so much those first few years of coming out, I did some pretty reckless things. A cop even caught me making out with a guy in a car. That was scary, but thankfully he was cool about it.

After awhile, I started feeling kind of angry about being gay and coming out. I felt like I was wasting so much time trying to find sex, which was never even that great.

And I blamed all my energy trying to get laid as even more internalized homophobia. But, all of that did kind of inspire my creative genes as an artist.

So I took all that angst and used it for inspiration, and sculpted of some of my most powerful art pieces. Which is another story, for another day.

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James

James, age 3
Madison, Wisconsin (1993)

Five years after this photo, when I was age 8, Joss Whedon ruined my life.

You see, I wasn't always a drag queen. Okay maybe I was. But there's still a possibility that I might have ended up a lawyer or a UFC fighter.

You see, I was once a young, well behaved Catholic school boy. But then I watched "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" - the movie, not the TV series - but that also proved to be quite influential. The film starred Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry (the world's oldest high schooler, but boy was he dreamy). I watched it constantly, wearing out the VHS tape my parents ripped off HBO.

I remember Kristy gets harassed by David Arquette, who takes a hot dog off of Kristy’s plate and holds it to her crotch and asks: “Buffy are you hungry?”

And she slices it clean off with a butter knife!

Well, I decided wouldn't it be hilarious to do the same thing to my friend Connor at lunch one day. I took the offending frankfurter out of its bun and presented it to him aside my crotch and quoted David Arquette word for word, a performance I think even he would of been proud of.

Needless to say this, didn't win me any People’s Choice Awards.

Nope, I got thrown into the principal's office, and got a weekly visit to the school psychologist - for making a joke? Sure it was crass and bluer than my usual material, but I was just an up and coming comedian. Right?

But this incident led to the first crack in the foundation of my childhood innocence. See, I was always a tad odd, but in my own way, I felt I was charming. Sure, nobody played with me at recess - but that's because I didn't play sports. Sure, nobody came to my birthday parties - but that's because every February 19th a plague hit my class.

And suddenly, I was now "Weird James" at school.

I was James the weird kid for years, up until the weird started to bleed over into the queer. It starts with the tingly feeling you get when you see Jerry O'Connell as the hotter brother in "Sliders" then as the dreamy boyfriend in "Scream 2" and by the time I got to Jerry O'Connell in "Tomcats" — I was GAY!

I've been beaten up, chased home, and had things thrown at me. Taking the school bus filled me with dread. I was late to school for 6 months because I was afraid to stand at the school bus stop. It's impossible for me to write a coming out story since I've kinda always been out. I just didn't know it.

By the time high school rolled around, I decided it was time to drop the facade and I came out at age 16. Like all of us, I was gayer, more louder, and draped in as much attention grabbing rainbow as I could find at your local Spencer's gifts. I was proud, and for the first time in my life, I felt unsinkable.

But it took me a long time to learn what "finding my tribe" means. I went through a long period of finding friendship with other outcasts who needed companionship. And I also found the true power of being different.

My message to queer kids today is: being gay is a beautiful thing, and it's a gift.

It's a free pass to be the most interesting person in a group - unless of course someone in that group is a pro wrestler or a trapeze artist, then they are the most interesting person. But I'm sure they couldn't sing a Donna Summer medley worth a shit.

In closing, I'd like to contact anyone with even the closest six degree of separation from Joss Whedon, to let them know the damage has been done!

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Tommy

Tommy, age 9

Bloomfield, New York (1989)

In my photo, I'd just won 2nd place in the Hula Hoop contest at my Catholic church's spring picnic. I was quite proud of my ribbon hanging from my ear.

My mom always said I "walked like John Wayne" but after watching home videos of me as a little kid, it was abundantly clear I did NOT walk like John Wayne. Not with that swish in my little hips! I was effeminate, plain and simple.

I loved playing with Tonka Trucks and Hot Wheels, and I also loved to sing and dance, but only when no one was looking or listening. Not because of the impression it gave, but because I didn't think I was very good at it.

Around the same time, my babysitter was letting me wear her daughter's dresses and bought me girls' panties to wear. She understood me better than my family would probably ever admit. Love you, Mrs. K!

I soon started watching "Who's The Boss" every chance I had so I could see Jonathan Pintauro as "Danny." By 12 I knew exactly why I liked him so much!

I had a crush on a boy in middle and high school, and this caused me to "fear" I was gay, which was very difficult to admit to myself. Of course, I never asked him out. I dreamed of fooling around with him, but in real life I would have been thrilled if he had just held my hand.

At age 19 I was in the military and living in California. I met a man 3 times my age and got into my first gay relationship. It didn't last long, as I had no idea who or what he was talking about most of the time. And I was probably a bit of a brat. Anyway, it proves that when it comes to relationships, sex isn't everything.

I came out to my family only a few years ago, and I surprised no one.
And I have the wonderful blessing of family and friends who support me.

Today, I enjoy my career as a machinist, living my life as true as I can each day.
Although I have no boyfriend or husband now, I have no doubt that someone special is out there waiting for me. :)

For those of you who are "different" - in any way - go ahead and OWN IT!
You are who you are, and love yourself first!

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

David

David, age 12 
Tasmania, Australia (1963)

This photo of me was shot during my first year at high school, and was set up by a semi-professional photographer and friend of my father. I was posed in a cow paddock with Rani, our family dog. The picture was published on the front cover of a national magazine called "Health."

By this age I had questions about myself and knew that certain situations sparked my curiosity. But in 1963, there were no places to go to find answers.

I didn’t know the word to describe myself and no one at my school used the "F" word. And the word "Gay" just wasn't in the vocabulary.

I had a very happy upbringing at home, and was a straight A student at school. The other boys ridiculed my inability to catch a cricket ball or my failure to kick a football straight, but I was never bullied or belittled. And the guys came to me for help with their homework.

I was editor of the school magazine for two years and was on the student council. I was always a leader: popular, confident, optimistic and outgoing.

No one ever guessed that I was gay, least of all myself.

I also read avidly. My favourite character was William Brown, a permanently 11-year old boy portrayed by Richmal Crompton in the 39 novels he wrote, starting with "Just William." He and his closest friend, Ginger, along with the other Outlaws, got up to all sorts of wild adventures, none of which I dared to copy!

I never missed watching "Leave It To Beaver" featuring the inquisitive and often naïve Theodore “The Beaver” Cleaver, portrayed by Jerry Mathers. Only years later did I realise why I thought Beaver was the most handsome boy on TV.

I grew up in a conservative family and belonged to a strict Protestant church.
My dad was a high-profile pastor known all over Australia, and everyone, especially my father, had the highest expectations for my behaviour.

Any deviation was frowned upon and could be punished.
So I was eager to please my parents and happy to conform to their standards.

But as a young adult, when I stepped outside those boundaries, I was wracked by guilt and smothered by shame. I carried that shame for decades, and it's one of the reasons for staying in the closet for so long.

Then at the age of 55, I saw the movie "Brokeback Mountain."
And the result was a tsunami of grief and despair.

I decided the pain of staying in the closet exceeded the shame in coming out.

So I soon came out to my family, moved 1000 miles, started a new job, and bought a house. I also met a wonderful man who is now my husband of 12 years, and we couldn’t be any happier. More info on my life today can be found here.

And when I look at this picture now, I wish I could tell my 12-year-old self:
"Don’t worry. The answers will come. Life does get better!"
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Doug

Doug, age 3
Pacific Palisades, California (1952)

In the 6th grade, I found myself looking at my classmate Steven, and thinking about his cute butt. This frightened me, because I knew I should only have those thoughts and feelings about girls. I had been told that homosexuals were 'alcoholics who have sex in alleys,' and they were 'filthy, amoral individuals who should be condemned,'  and not even pitied. And, that they ended up in jail.

At age 17, I had a crush on one of my best friends which I only later expressed by mail when we went to colleges on opposite ends of the country. 

He eventually stopped responding to my letters.

During my college years, I had romantic relationships with two girls and was attracted to several others

I really wanted to have a girlfriend and eventually be married. However, I was only physically attracted to my male classmates.

I was determined not to be gay, but I couldn't deny my feelings.

During my 20's, my pattern was to develop close, non-physical friendships with my male friends, and after many months, pursue a physical relationship.
While they rejected those advances, not one of them rejected me as a friend.

During the early to mid 70's, gay support groups began to develop on college campuses. I hung around one outside once, but I never went in. My eventual first physical relationship was with a male I had known for 12 months and for whom I was an "experiment" gone awry. Meaning: being gay wasn't for him.

At age 30, I was up late with an older woman I worked for who was attempting to seduce me. Getting tired of the charade, she finally blurted out:

'You're another faggot, aren't you?!'  And I said, "I guess so."

I eventually lost 60 pounds, got fit, cut my long, 60's-style hair, and decided to look for men whom I knew were already gay. Duh, lightbulb moment! My first gay night out started at bars in the Los Angeles area: The Rawhide, Woody's Hyperion, The Apache, and The Eagle. When I walked into The Rawhide, I knew that I was finally where I belonged. Actual tears of joy!

Next was coming out to my three sisters and parents. I made an appointment at my father's office to have "the conversation." He started by saying, 'Your older sister married that horse's ass we told her not to marry. And now they're divorced, and she's living with a man who is ten years younger than her!'

I only wanted to tell him that I'm gay, but he launched-forth again, saying:
 'And your younger sister is dating a damn Mexican!' As he looked appalled.

He then asked me, 'So, Doug, what did you want to talk about?'
I wanted to say, "Dad, you ain't heard nothin' yet!" but I didn't.

I waited a week to tell him. I think he already knew but didn't want to face the inevitable. He asked me, 'Is this something you want to do or something you feel compelled to do?'  I just said, "Both." His face filled with disappointment and resignation, and he asked: 'Is there anything I can do to help?'

Both my parents were accepting of me, but just barely.

I spent 20 years of my life rejecting my true self -- what a waste. If I had it to do all over again, I would have started in high school to develop positive, physical relationships with male friends, instead of avoiding my true feelings.

Of course, that's much easier today than it was in the mid-60's.
My advice is for the LGBTQ youth of today is trite, but true: be your true self.
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Andrea

Andrea, age 3
Baltimore, Maryland (1993)

I had no clue that I was gay while growing up. Looking back, there honestly weren't many clues, as I was obsessed with many typically "girly" things. I loved baby dolls, my Littlest Pet Shop, and my princess nightgowns.

Although I had a tomboy streak,
I largely attribute that to growing up with a twin brother. 

Everything between us was a competition, but there was nothing to hint at my future sexuality.

In fact, it took me well into my college years to begin to question things. I developed a significant crush on one of my roommates during junior and senior year but was too oblivious (and definitely subconsciously afraid) to act on it.

It wasn't until I was age 23 that I officially told my family that I was interested in girls.

I'm one of the lucky ones, as I was born into a family that has absolutely no issues with my gayness. My siblings and I were encouraged to play with whatever toys we wanted and to explore extracurricular activities we were drawn to, regardless of whether they were stereotypically male or female centric. 

So I didn't have to worry that I would be treated any differently once I came out. And thankfully, I haven't been.

My only regret is that I didn't realize I was gay until so relatively late.

I think that if I had had more contact with gay people growing up, perhaps it would have occurred to me earlier than it did.

My wife knew she was gay significantly earlier than I did. She says she thinks this is largely due to the number of other gay girls she came in contact with growing up, especially while playing elite level soccer in England.

At any rate, I am now happily married and, although we currently live in Mississippi (where being openly gay can still be a bit of a crap shoot when it comes to acceptance), we have amazing family and friends and we're looking forward to starting a family in the near future.
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Mike

Mike, age 9
Indianapolis, Indiana (1957)

Here I am in one of my frequent sassy moods, chastising the photographer for taking my picture. I was always very outspoken, but at the same time, I was painfully shy and introverted. Both sides of my personality existed and sometimes one dominated, sometimes the other.

My grade school teacher once sent home a note telling my Mother that:
"Michael likes to entertain his friends in class."

Strangely, when it came to bullying, I only remember one time, when I was 10.

A big neighborhood bully stopped me on the street and asked me if I knew I was queer?

I told him: Yes, I knew that!

That stopped him dead in his tracks and he left me alone!

At that time growing up in the 50's and early 60's, and wanting to avoid trouble, I never forced the issue and never came out to anybody.


I grew up in a home where things like being gay weren't discussed, so I was very ignorant of the fact that we are everywhere and we are just as good as anybody else! I was just me, and most kids and even grownups just accepted me as I was.

I had my first crush on another boy when I was 11 while in the Boy Scouts.
He was an older man: 12 years old! I worshipped him from afar, but never had the courage to go up and speak to him. And I'm sure he never even noticed I existed. But he was gorgeous, like a very young and hot Elvis Presley.

It wasn't until I was 14 and in high school that I started to realize I had actual physical attractions to other boys and romantic feelings for some. And I soon met some other gay boys at school. I went to a very large high school with 4,000 students, so there were several boys there who clearly stood out as gay because they were so very obvious. They couldn't hide it even if they wanted to.

Those other gay boys I met were my first introduction to what other kids similar to me must be like. I was glad to know I wasn't the only one! They instinctively knew I was "one of them" and would talk to me as we walked to classes.

However, I noticed that all of them were mercilessly bullied every day in school. And that made me feel terrible and very bad for them. But I knew if I spoke up in their defense, that I'd get beaten up too. And that made me feel worse. So I kept a low profile and tried to just fade into the background so I didn't stand out.

I tried to deny to myself that I might be gay for many years, but I knew it was true. And I finally decided to accept myself as I am in my early 20's.

To all the gay kids and young people of today, all I can say is be true to yourself. You may encounter people who will be mean and hateful toward you and who will try to make you feel bad about yourselves - but do not let them.

They are the bad people -- not you! Just have the courage to be yourself.
Not everyone will like you, but the right people will!
___________________________________________________

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Doug

Doug, age 11
Las Cruces, New Mexico (1981)

I'm on the far left here, and the only one 'posing' in this picture of my siblings, cousins, and my grandfather. Like so many others, I too destroyed most photographic evidence of my gayness as a child, as it made me physically sick.

As an adult, I tried to be straight. So I got married to a woman.

We had two wonderful children together, but my secret was destroying not only my life, but my most important family members as well.

After finally coming out at age 36, my wife and I moved through our divorce as painlessly as we could and we remain great friends.

My kids are successful because of the love my ex-wife and I still share.
And today, we have each remarried -- both of us to amazing men!
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Samantha

Samantha, age 3
Wildomar, California (2001)

I’m the one in the diaper with all my brothers and three family friends in the back. It was my birthday and everybody had been wearing boxers the whole day so, obviously, I was in my pull up! My mom made everyone "dress up" for pictures -- but I refused.

I was always naked back then. I didn’t even know the difference between boys and girls until I had to use a separate bathroom in first grade.

Being raised with seven boys made me think I was a boy, too. I just didn’t know any different. I wore their hand-me-downs, and we played with (and destroyed) toys together. It was just my life.

I didn’t know what gay was until my dad told me never to come home with another girl or he’d kick me out. I wouldn’t even hold my best friend's hand in school for fear of being seen as gay. But I wore the label “Tomboy” proudly in my oversized T-shirts and baseball caps!

Seventeen years after this photo was taken, me and two of the boys behind me are proudly gay. Both parents struggled with it, but they’ve been so supportive. They love me and I’m so grateful to have them.

After depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, and self harm, I’m much better now. I’m in college and proudly lesbian. I love who I am and I’m not ashamed of it.
___________________________________________________

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Ryan

Ryan, age 8,
Quezon City, Philippines (1990)

I grew up a poor, black child....oh wait. Wrong story! :) Growing up in the Philippines, being a flamboyant young boy wasn't an issue. And luckily, I grew up with not only my family's support, but also the support of my friends. 

The topic of sexuality and being gay was not yet discussed at that time. 
But what I know is that everyone saw that I was happy, and they let me be me.

And I do remember when I was age 11, I told my parents I was going to the neighborhood fiesta. I left the house in a white T-shirt and cut off denim shorts and my "tsinelas" - they are also known as flip flops. I joined the masses to enjoy the festival until I heard a popular song being played in a distance.

I walked over to see what was happening. A crowd had gathered to where the song was playing, and I saw a few girls dancing in formation to the beat.

The song was called “Aringkingkingking" - and I have no idea what that means! But in a quick instance, without even a thought, I tied a knot on my white
T-shirt, just above my left hip to bare my mid-drift, and I joined the dance.

I copied every step, every move, and every flare. I was happy and overjoyed, especially when the crowd erupted in cheers and applause!

This story has nothing to do with my picture here, but I thought it was a perfect memory to share. However, I DO think this picture perfectly sums up me, my fashion sense, and my ability to coordinate clothing at an early age.

I mean, only us — those who are a little different, a little or a lot gay — can put together prints serving a BATMAN look, and know the world can't tell you SHIT — because you OWN it!

Of course, when asked to pose - even as a young child - there was always a little sass and a little flirt in my pictures. This image couldn't be anymore ME, and proves that I was BORN THIS WAY!
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Kelly

Kelly, age 9
Cordell, Oklahoma (1986)

I was born n' raised in a small rural town in Oklahoma. My Daddy was the high school football coach, my brother was the all-star athlete, and my uncle (my Dad's older brother) is Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees. No big deal, he's just mentioned right up there with Uncle Sam, apple pie, and Jesus Christ.

And then there was ME!

Townsfolk would ask, "Kelly...you gonna grow up and be a famous baseball player like your Uncle Mickey?”

'No,' I'd say. 'When I grow up, I'm gonna be a black soul singer just like Diana Ross.' 

Because one is just about as likely as the other.

The only thing Uncle Mickey and I had in common was switch-hitting!

As a kid, I used to dress up in Grandma's clothes and play Dolly Parton songs on my lil' geetar.

And they had no clue what the hell was happening!

But regardless, I was blessed with parents who always encouraged me to embrace my differences and “eccentricities.” They accepted me as every parent should for their child! Bless their wrinkled little hearts.

And as you can see in this picture, I LOVED being a little girly-boy. I think I had just told Santa that I wanted a Barbie, a boy, and some boobies! It made him very uncomfortable, and I didn't understand why. Because I loved being different than my peers, and I wasn't ashamed to be me.

That's a true testament to my upbringing.

But, like most of us, I had my fair share of getting bullied from time to time. Usually from kids from other schools at out-of-town events. Their favorite taunt was always "Are you a boyyyy or a girrrrl?" And I'd say 'Both!' Like it was a bad thing? I never could figure that out. Who wouldn't wanna be both?

Luckily, because of our LGBTQ pioneers that came before me, we now have terminology that kids can use today. In my case, it would be "gender-fluid."
Or as I prefer, "two-spirit" because after all I AM a Cherokee Native American Poke-A-Hot-Ass from Oklahomo.

So when I look at this picture of me and Santa, that's who I see — a late blooming two-spirited little gender-fluid kid, almost too comfortable in my own skin — but unsure how to explain it to others. Yet, never afraid to show it or be it, and most importantly — never once told to hide it.

And that would be my Christmas wish to Santa today — for every little boy and girl and in-between to be given the freedom to be in love with yourself exactly as you are! And to realize that when another person tries to hurt you, they're actually the one who's hurting.

Because people who love themselves, don't hurt others.
So don't ever let anyone change who you were born to be.

I’m Kelly Mantle, and I was BORN THIS WAY!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book

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Candace

Candace, age 3
Panama City, Florida (1970)

I don't remember who owned this motorcycle in my photo.
But I do remember that if my brother thought it was cool, well - so did I!

This little tomboy was raised in a Southern Baptist home in northern Florida, and I was taught forgiveness and to love your neighbor as yourself. I was what you would call "all in" and I was very involved with the church as a young girl.

Since no one in my life ever discussed gay people and I was taught "Christian love," I was completely unprepared for the total rejection I received from my church and family when I came out. 

Today, I still consider myself a recovering Southern Baptist.

Yes, 2017 is a world away the 1980's. But figuring out who you are is difficult for any kid, especially for GLBTQ youth living in a far right, Christian home.

While I had little support from my family I did find support from the GLBTQ community. That "family" saved me. 

So to all GLBTQ youth: You are loved!
And to the families of these kids: Love them, period!    
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Tony

Tony, age 6
Natchez, Mississippi (1973)

I'm on the left in my photo, with my little brother. I grew up in the deep south in a very Christian town. Although we moved around a lot, we always ended up back in Natchez. I knew I was gay as far back as I can remember. I didn't know the term "gay" but I knew I enjoyed being around other boys my age.

I would stay at my grandmother's house a lot, which was the best place in the world to me. My grandmother had 5 daughters and she kept all of their things in what was called the 'toy room.'

I was always dressing up in my aunt's prom dress with all of its pink tulle and fluff, wearing her platform clogs and painting my nails with magic markers.

I loved playing with Barbies and their 70's play sets. I was always putting Barbie and her friends in different hairdo's and fancy dresses, because they were always going to fancy parties. And not just one party, but several a day. Every few minutes they had to run home for a complete makeover for the next party.

And my Miss Piggy puppet was the best thing in my world!!! She and I were inseparable. I would give her amazing hairstyles and make outfits for her.

I also remember sitting on the shag carpet in our living room, watching something on TV by myself. It must have had mermaids in it, because I rolled myself up in a blanket - and I was a instant mermaid!

I remember my mom walking in, and asking me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm a mermaid!!!"

Well, that didn't sit well with my mother. And I didn't understand why she gave me such a weird look after I said I was a mermaid.

Around 8 years old, I remember having a crush on a boy in my class that I thought the world of. I even remember his name -- Billy. I would stare at him in class wondering what it would be like to hold hands and kiss him.

As I got older, things got pretty bad. Kids in Jr. High knew I was different, even though I tried to hide being gay. But the other kids knew. I was always being threatened to be beaten up on a daily basis, to the point I would break out in hives on my wrists everyday before school.

It wasn't any better at home. My father was a sociopath and was extremely mentally abusive. My mom was so busy dealing with him that she only found relief in her Pentecostal church, where I was told I was going to hell for being gay. And those kids at church were more evil than the kids at school!

Looking back, my fondest memories are about my grandmother and her amazing amount of love, because she allowed me to be me without judgement.

That was the world I had at her house, and I'm eternally grateful to her for that.

I do have a happy ending, though. As a young adult, I met a guy in town and I fell in love. And as soon as I turned 18 we moved to Atlanta, Georgia.

Today, I live in Los Angeles and have made my truest home here.
I love my life now and wouldn't change it for anybody else's life!!!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Karli

Karli, age 4
Courtice, Ontario, Canada (2001)

Growing up, I was always a tomboy of sorts. I preferred to play with boys as a kid, I always wanted the "boy toy" from McDonalds, and I always preferred movies where the lead female was the hero rather than being a helpless princess.

You can even see the difference in these pictures: the extremely fake smile that I had while dressed as a princess, compared to the one I was dressed as a cowgirl, taken either moments before or after.

In Canada, our junior kindergarten school pictures were done in costume to be "fun" for young kids. I remember that day very specifically, because I wanted to dress as the knight, having picked that from the table of costumes.

But I was told I wasn't allowed to because it was one of the "boy costumes," and they made me wear the princess one. I was much happier with the cowgirl outfit, especially since "Toy Story 2" was one of my favorite movies.

This was probably the first time I felt that society was telling me I couldn't be who I wanted to be.

Thankfully, my parents didn't care how I dressed or what toys I wanted to play with when I was younger, proven to me more when I was 5 and I dressed as Spider-Man for Halloween.

Luckily, my generation is growing up in a time where gender non-conformity is not that big a deal. When I eventually came out, my parents weren't too shocked and they accepted me wholeheartedly.

I always find it funny to look back at these two pictures because it's very obvious which costume I was more comfortable in.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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John

John, age 7
Pierre Part, Louisiana (1996)

I grew up in a small bayou town.
My mom was a single mother who loved dressing up and going out.

I almost always copied her style in the male form and I loved having grown up with confidence taught.

But that didn't last long.

In the world, and even inside our own gay community, people are picked apart.

And now I find myself grasping to find some self-confidence.

I think the most important message I want to send out is to always keep that confidence.

And I don't mean fake confidence.

Someone will love every part of you, so what I'm trying to say is:

Own all that you are!

I hate the whole masculine/feminine label, because I am personally the "/" symbol in that equation.

Remember that no matter who you are, you are a snowflake and you are unique and deserve to be a part of this world. You deserve to breathe and conquer!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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