Jose

Jose, age 3
Oaxaca, Mexico (1973)

I have very nice memories from this period in my life.
I was living with my grandparents, and they spoiled me rotten.

And there was a neighbor boy my age, who would pose with me in the same positions as in my uncle's adult magazines. We had no idea what we were doing, but all I know is that I wanted to!

I'm now in a 10-year relationship with three kitties, and I work as a nurse.

All LGBTQ kids should have happy memories. If not, make up for it later!

P.S. - I remember eating the head off that sugar doll as soon as we got home :)
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Fernando

Fernando, age 4

Mexico City, Mexico (1979)

Ever since I can remember, I knew I was different from other kids. I liked things other boys didn't like, such as playing with my cousin's dolls, and wearing my mom's sunglasses, heels or makeup. The other boys liked the things I hated, like playing soccer or getting G.I. Joe dolls for Christmas.

I pretty much grew up that way, realized I was gay at age 13, and came out quite late, at age 23.

Looking back to my childhood, I feel very proud of the courage it took for me to stand up for what I believed in, and to dare to come out.

Especially considering the environment where I grew up: conservative and Catholic in upper-class Mexico city.

At the beginning, the process of coming out seemed hard and painful. Very close to impossible, actually. I felt as if I'd be the only homosexual my friends and family would ever have to deal with.

Pretty soon after I started the coming out process, I realized that wasn't the case. I had my friends' and family's support, but it took a little time.

And to my huge surprise, my three closest childhood friends turned out to be gay as well. No wonder we remained friends all those years!

Jorge

Jorge, age 3

Tamaulipas, México (1985)

Here I am at a small festival where I was selected as the "Little King Of Spring". I remember I was so happy back then, as I got to do some kind of catwalk, and at one point I had to use a tricycle in the shape of a butterfly surrounded by flowers. I had a great time and my mom was so proud.

I knew I was different at the age of 11, because I disliked most of the boys' activities, such as sports or trying to get the attention of girls. That's when I started to paint, became withdrawn into myself, and turned into a lonely boy.

When I came out to my mom she wasn't shocked at all. But, she doesn't understand why, as a gay man, I don't like to 'wear pink or talk in a funny way' as she says some gay men talk.


I was a little offended and I had to explain to her that gays are humans, too.
We are all different. There are still people (at least in Mexico) who think all gays are the same. But if we don't teach them, who will?

Now in my life, I have many new friends, who accept me the way I am.

So to all young gay people out there:
Don't close your heart and always be who you want to be, no matter what!

Jorge's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ralph Macchio (in "Karate Kid")

Val

Val, age 6
Mexico City, Mexico (1996)

Here I am, and I remember how much I loved to be a Boy Scout. Oops, sorry - I mean Girl Scout! I started to feel I was different in kindergarten, when I just couldn't take my eyes off my female teacher.

In grade school, all I wanted to do was innocently kiss my girl friends. And then, feeling SOOO GOOD when I had my first real kiss with a girl

I used to feel something funny in my stomach while watching movies like "Lost & Delirious" or "The L Word" on TV. 

In closing, I want to say to all young gay kids that it's wonderful to have the gift of loving someone - no matter the gender.

Because it's beautiful to fall in love, and love the soul of that person.

Val's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Sandra Bullock

She is my forever total crush

Miguel

Miguel Cane, age 1

Mexico City (1975)

This photo was taken at my first birthday party. If you look, you'll notice that even then, there is a certain "sadness" to me. This is what my friends often refer to as my 'Liv Ullmann face' - even that young.

"Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up"

This, of course, does not mean that I was always a sad child -- but most gay children grow up wounded one way or another, at least those of my generation and country did. But it's a fact that there are no pictures of me smiling.

However, I love this picture. Not only because it reveals the essence of who I am (these bouts of hope and simultaneous sorrow, the look in my eyes), but also because of the lovely clothes. I mean, what's not to love there? The frills, the flowers, the lovingly handmade suit. At least I was smartly dressed even then.


I probably had a notion of my being different, even at that age. My mother says she could tell from the moment I was able to walk. She says I was not girlish, but rather neutral and measured.

I know I was pretty well aware of the attraction to males when I was 5 and started to go to the movies alot. I was bowled over by what I saw on the screen, such as Cary Grant or Warren Beatty, especially in Splendor In The Grass, which was so revealing to me later on.

I was a film buff even as a little boy. I fell in love with the apartment sets in Rosemary's Baby, I cried my eyes out at the end of Breakfast At Tiffany's, wanted to be a Von Trapp kid, and adored the Pompeii Club where Shirl The Girl winds up in Sweet Charity. My grandfather fed me movies and gave me enormous support. He loved me just the way I was, and I like to think he knew exactly who I was when he died when I was 7.

Everybody else could tell, much to the frustration and chagrin of my father. We had an antagonistic relationship for many years, until I politely but firmly told him off, leading to a dètente between us. My Mom was often caught in the middle of the drill. She never took sides, but she was supportive.

I'm now in my mid 30's, I moved to Spain, and my mom and I get along fine. And oh yeah - I eventually became a Film Critic & Historian, to boot.

I live alone, and I don't mind. All my life I've looked for courageous, resourceful, warm, & funny men. Some that I've loved weren't that, but I have no regrets, and I don't see it as a waste. There's plenty of ways to have love in your life, and plenty more to give the love you have in yourself to others. You may not live happily ever after - there are no guarantees for that - but bear this in mind:

You can live hopefully ever after.

Miguel's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Cary Grant (in "Notorious")
The moment he kisses Ingrid Bergman and she ever-so-slightly rubs his earlobe, I felt dizzy and my knees gave way. Everything was illuminated for me

Jared

Jared, age 4

Jalisco, Mexico (1993)

When I was a little boy, my aunts thought that I was as beautiful as a girl, so they found it funny to dress me as one. They let my hair grow and grow until it looked like a girl’s. Then, they started taking me out wearing dresses, and telling people I was Jared, their beautiful niece.


I don’t remember when they started this ritual - that I now call 'my gayest era' - but I remember the day they stopped doing it.

We were lined up buying some tortillas, and the other ladies told my aunts how gorgeous they found me: 'She is so pretty! She must be a star from TV! One day, she'll be a Beauty Queen! I want her to marry my son someday!'

Well, I had to pee - so I found the nearest tree, took out my penis, and peed. And I think my aunts have never been more embarrassed.


Maybe my aunts feel guilty now for me being gay, or maybe they think I'm gay because they used to dress me as a girl. The truth, is that I was already gay - it didn't matter what clothes they put on me. Now I wear mens clothes and don’t really fit any gay stereotype.

I think being gay, straight, or bi isn't really important. We shouldn’t care about it, because we're all made of water, and I am pretty sure that water doesn’t care if the body it's living in is in love with or having sex with a male or a female, because each one is also made of the same water.

I agree we're all different, but being different sometimes makes us the same. I think that we are all raindrops, falling down in some chaos. But the day we finally lie on the earth together, we will merge into a big, beautiful human puddle: The Water of Peace.

Jared's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Justin Whalin (in "Chucky/Child's Play III")
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