Dean

Dean, age 8

Great Falls, South Carolina (1981)

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father disappeared completely from my life. Later, my mother married a man that didn't want me around, and so I fell into the care of my grandparents. Although they took care of my physical needs, my emotional needs went largely unmet. I was rarely touched or held, and often craved those physical expressions of affection.

Growing up gay in a small town in South Carolina was very hard, to say the least.

Looking back, I always knew that I was different. Unfortunately, my peers knew it too, and I had very few friends.

Being a loner, I had a vivid imagination and very active fantasy life. I developed a huge crush on Bo Duke on "Dukes of Hazzard."

I didn't know what it meant, but my heart skipped a beat every time he slide across the General Lee.

I often imagined Bo spending time with me, doing things that fathers and sons did together. Such as fishing, working on cars, or helping me with my homework.

I was often the target of both physical and verbal bullies, and found very little solace at home as well. Halloween was my favorite time of year because I got to dress up, and I could be somebody else. Because I didn't really want to be me.

As I grew up and learned to like myself, I actually became grateful to all those bullies. Because it was their abuse that made me the strong person I am today. And I developed a thick skin and sharp wit to combat their insults and injuries.

And the imagination that I developed to help me cope with life's stress, helped me to discover myself as an artist and a writer.

As much as it hurt at the time, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. All those experiences made me who I am today: A strong, gay man who likes himself and loves his life. What more could you ask for?

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider (on "Dukes of Hazzard")

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Ronnie

Ronnie, age 10
Charleston, S. Carolina (1980)

As a 10-year-old boy living in Charleston, South Carolina, I liked designing mazes, which accounts for the pen in my hand in this photo. My shirt bears the likeness of Spock from "Star Trek," my favorite TV show.

This was snapped on my requested Polaroid instant camera I got for Christmas. Each photo cost two dollars, my entire allowance at the time, so I rationed each one like a miser. I usually shot our family, and this is a rare picture of me, taken by my brother.

It was a different era in the 1970's. My parents told me homosexuality was sick, and so I thought myself sick. I suffered from depression, guilt, and all the usual head trips. But our attitudes changed over time. Now, we all believe differently.

I have always been gay, as far back as I can remember. But I didn't realize what it meant until my late teens. I was naive about sexuality, even while being quite precocious. I experimented without being fully aware of the implications.

I compartmentalized the issue of sexuality with the expectation that I would change later, and that it would not be a life-long thing.

At 13, I fell in love with my best friend, but he did not return the favor. It seemed like I fell in love with several of my friends. I think that is sometimes a rite of passage for gay kids: to fall in love and be rejected.

I came out to my parents as bisexual at the age 18. They were supportive, but had fears and doubts at first. I eventually found a partner, and we have been very happy together for the past 14 years.

To young gays, I would say that life definitely gets better, particularly if one finds the right person to live with. Someone trustworthy, honest, kind, and considerate.

Joshua

Joshua, age 6

Greenville, SC (1987)

This photo was taken at my first violin recital, where I played "Hot Cross Buns".
I remember my parents calling my violin teacher my "coach" (who's pictured), probably so I felt like I had something in common with the other boys in school!

Around the time of this pic, my Dad and I were at a Braves game in Atlanta. We went to the restroom, and instead of peeing,
I ran up to every urinal in use, pointing at the penis of the person using the urinal while yelling, 'Look Dad, a penis!'

My Dad laughed and rolled his eyes, as this was pretty common for me.

Lucky for me, I have outstanding parents and was never really in the closet. Whether it was putting on my mom's favorite yellow dress (and dancing to Linda Ronstadt's Spanish language album).


Or the time for my senior class career day presentation, when I said that my chosen career was 'escort' - my family always had my back!

I was, however, bullied pretty badly in school, especially in junior high.

Anyone can make it out, though. Today I hold down a successful PR job in NYC, live in a recording studio, and I'm in a couple of awesome bands.

Joshua's first, famous-person same sex crush:
The Count (on "Sesame Street")
I still get butterflies!
But next in line would be Eddie Murphy and Michael Hutchence of INXS.
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Billy

Billy, age 7

Columbia, S. Carolina (1970)

I am not sure how it all happened -- but I was Born This Way! And obviously, not afraid to work a pair of burgundy corduroy Toughskins in grade school.

From an early age, I had an innate ability to talk to the animals, and wore a big ol' grin while doing it. Whether cuddling a pup, or stroking a puss, my charges always felt love and comfort. It seems kind of fitting now that I volunteer at The Wildlife Waystation helping to give a better life to exotic rescues.

White Tigers, Pumas, & Bears! Oh Yeah!

I will never forget the smell of cologne one of my best friend's uncle wore.
I think it was Polo (yes, circa 1980). It made me dizzy to smell his musk.

Billy's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Mark Singer &  Christopher Reeve
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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