Fernando

Fernando, age 3

Havana, Cuba (1967)

Growing up in in the 1970's in Cuba, I had never heard any official talk about gay people. But, the only time I did hear references to gay people, it was always derogatory. I do remember that I was never allowed to speak ill of people that were perceived as gay. I had a gay cousin and people always made fun of him.
If I had ever joined in to insult him, my mom would’ve smacked me!

My first memory of realizing I was different was when at around age 6 or 7 when I found a packet of pornographic photos. The sex described and shown was totally heterosexual, but my eyes were glued to the males in those photos. 

As I didn't know about gayness or sex, it wasn't about that. It was just something within me feeling - different. I always had crushes on the cutest boys in my school, but I never thought about sex until age 15.

I'd met this kid from the neighborhood that was very cute and who wore the sexiest red Speedos. But I never acted on the fantasies I had about him, though. I dated girls and even had sex with them. It was not entirely unpleasant, so I never felt the awkwardness that some kids growing up gay feel.

I moved to New York City in the late 80's. I was walking around 42^nd Street one day, and I walked into a sex shop, and right up front they had a display of gay porn. I opened a magazine and it was as if a lightbulb above my head went on!

I thought 'WOW! This is what it's all about!' Soon after that, I started my quest to find a mate, and in 1992 I met my now-husband. 

One night he left me a phone message and told me that he loved me in French. My mom heard it and asked me why he had said he loved me. I simply said, 
'He is my boyfriend.' And she simply said, "Oh, OK. As long as you don’t become effeminate, it's OK with me!" And that was how I came out.

So I guess you could say I had it a little easy.

I did not feel the depression or heartaches that most of us go through. One of my girlfriends had a bit of a problem when I told her, but it quickly vanished and we remained friends until the day she died. 

Today, I am openly gay at work and in my private life. We never officially told my grandma or my husband's parents, but they figured it out for themselves and it was never a problem for them, either.

_________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Raffael

Raffael, age 6

Havana, Cuba (1965)

I was born and raised in Havana, and this picture was taken at a party in our home. Both of my parents migrated to Cuba from Italy, in a town in the south called Padula.

"Here's a gay boy!"

I was a very happy child, and I have a twin brother who is not gay. I knew from around age 6 that I was different, but didn't know what - if anything - to do about it.

In 1967 we moved to Mexico City. It was around this time I actually did anything for the first time, with another boy who was about 13 years old.

Keep in mind, this was back in 1968, and my parents where both very traditional.
My father was open-minded, and I knew this because my sister had a lesbian friend when she was 15, and my father was very close to her friend, since her parents had not been.

I, on the other hand, was too afraid to let him know. Later in life I told the whole planet, and here we are today.

My family is very close, supportive, and loving, and I've been truly fortunate that all my friends and relatives have accepted me, and have always loved me.

Today, I live in Los Angeles. I enjoy watching TV Land, especially old episodes of I Love Lucy, The Brady Bunch, and many more. I speak Italian and Spanish, and I work for one of the nation’s largest HIV/AIDS non-profit organizations.

Raffael's first, same sex crush:
My neighbor that lived next door. He was maybe 12 or 13, and I had

the biggest crush on him. Every time I saw him, I was all in a daze.