Tori

Tori, age 4

Columbus, Georgia (2002)

All I know is I didn't want to dance with that boy. I pouted the entire time, because no one would let me dance with my best friend Sydney. 14 years later, and I would still rather dance with a pretty girl. Gay as hell now, gay as hell then.

But, growing up I wasn't always so happy to accept that. I struggled with internalized hatred and disgust for a long time. And when I finally had found the self acceptance and love to come out to my family and my friends, they said:

"Why didn't you tell us sooner? Why did you lie to us?"

And, yes, I have extremely accepting and loving people in my life, and they deserved to know. But I was frustrated that no one could understand that I was not afraid of them, but of myself - and of all the people out there who do not share their open minds. 

And above all, my coming out was not about them.

It was not something they had the right to feel angry with me for.

I think it is hard for family members to grasp what it is like to grow up knowing you are different in a way that many do not accept. And not in a "I like weird clothes or weird music and they make fun of me" kinda way, but in a "I love who I love and some people would kill me for that" kinda way. And they'll try, but they may never understand what it is that drives so many of us to hide who we are, and even pretend to be who we are not. 

That doesn't make them any less loving or caring or accepting, it just makes them human. They have no way of knowing what it is like, they can't read our thoughts. They can't relive our experiences or feel our hearts sink every time something hateful is spit at us. They can't imagine what it is like to be afraid to hold the hand of the person they love while they walk on the sidewalk. But they are trying -- always, always trying to empathize and learn and change.

I am so grateful to have people who love me and are willing to try and to change. And to now be able to say that I love myself too. 

I just want anyone out there that's having a hard time finding self-acceptance to know that so many others have felt that pain too. You are beautiful, and there is nothing wrong with you, nothing you should try to change or hide. 

When you learn to love yourself, you get to be proud, and be a part of a community of amazing people. You get to laugh and smile and love wholeheartedly without feeling like you are wrong. 

And I wouldn't trade such a colorful, diverse, and happy life for anything. 

Let yourself in so you can let others in.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Jared

Jared, age 4
Williamson, Georgia (1991) 

This photo is me doing what I'm told was one of my favorite activities, which was wearing a pair of my mom's sensible flats and pretending to vacuum the house.

Looking back on my photos, I have memories of doing lots of things that I would consider really flamboyant and telling. But at the time, I was just being me.

I started becoming aware of just how different I was when I started school at age 5, and I learned to tone it way down. Once I hit puberty, I really figured out what was going on. And I waited way too long to come out to my family, but I finally did it after I finished college.

With coming out, I have received nothing, NOTHING, but all the love and support of my parents, my brother, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles - and even my recently-turned 99 great-grandmother. And all this from some small town Georgians, too!

Today, I am out, proud and loving life. And I'm engaged to the sweetest, best guy anyone could ever hope to meet, a happy fate I never believed would be mine.

Here I am, and I couldn't be happier! So my advice to those today is:
Just be yourself and great things will come your way.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Mykel

Mykel, age 4
Macon, Georgia (1996)

I was a very quiet kid. I never liked wearing suits, but I remember loving the setting of this wedding reception I attended with my mother. My signature pose always involved a limp wrist and a protruding pinky. You could say I was your average Bette Midler whenever I walked from room to room.

Growing up I liked girls, but only enough to call them "pretty."

My first attraction to boys occurred by accident when I was age 7. I'd "spied" a classmate of mine more than I should have in a restroom stall, and I couldn't look away.

Barbie dolls were my life, and I was fascinated by the clothes designed for them. I wanted every collector's Barbie, but they were so expensive, I had to make my own.

With a Wonder Woman doll and an ill-fitting black dress with Velcro dots, I made my own Morticia Addams doll.


I always preferred female roles in movies to the point of memorizing their lines.
I even acted out Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman character in "Batman Returns."

My first celebrity crush was Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. The rest didn't compare, and the N*Sync boys didn't stand a chance. Other music I loved included the Spice Girls, S Club 7, and Britney Spears. My mom was already listening to Celine Dion and Shania Twain, so I guess I had it coming.

My mother raised me to be the most polite child imaginable, and everyone around me loved me for it. I didn't have a lot of friends, but the few I had were enough.

And believe it or not, I didn't know I was gay. While I showed signs, I was still, somehow, in a weird state of denial. I didn’t come out to myself until I was 19, and then to my mother by age 20.

Today, I am much more comfortable in my skin now than ever. So my advice to LGBTQ kids is to keep yourself busy in doing what makes you happy.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Ashton

Ashton, age 5
Athens, Georgia (1989)

It was all The Nutcracker's fault. Well, that and my sister's tap shoes. Every Christmas since the age of 1, my family would drive to Atlanta, stay one night in the grandest hotel, and see The Nutcracker at "The Fabulous Fox Theatre"

It was the grandest of occasions, and the best part was dressing up. I'd wear white buck shoes, seersucker pants, suspenders - and therefore felt invincible.

It was my gay childhood version of the Superhero Costume.

In those rags, no one could stop the Sugar Plum Fairy from leaping out of me - and down the stairs, across the front lawn and all the way through the lobby of the glitzy Ritz Carlton.

I was spoiled rotten with love and support. Today, I'm a set designer living in New York City.


And I have this life because my parents knew exactly how to channel my desires into a constructive path for myself. So, thanks to my Mom & Dad - who are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary this year!
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Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Lauren

Lauren, age 4
Atlanta, Georgia (1995)

I might not have known at age 4 that I was a lesbian, but I knew by the time I turned 8-years old that I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't like my cousin, Alex. All I wanted to do was wear boy's clothes like him, play with action figures like him, and to talk about my girl crushes like he did.

I'll never forget my first love in 8th grade. But being in middle school, not many kids knew what the meaning of LGBTQ was. Luckily for me, when I came out at that age to my friends, everyone was supportive and I wasn't bullied like I feared.

Today at age 20, I have an astounding partner, a successful job being an EMT, and supportive family and friends.

My little encouragement for LGBTQ kids and people today is to not let others define you. I am who I am today, and I was born this way.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Sandro

Sandro, age 5

Tbilisi, Georgia (1988)

I think a was about 8 or 9 when I have realized I had feelings for men. I did not know at that time those feelings were of a sexual nature. But now that I recall my childhood fantasies, they couldn't have been gayer.

I have a sister, and we used to play Barbie dolls together, where we were best girl friends. I've always associated myself as a female character.

But I didn't connect that to my sexual orientation, or being gay.

Later in life I discovered I fell for boys instead of girls.

I dreamed about Brad Pitt and the Backstreet Boys, and listened to Barbra Streisand and Paula Abdul.

I was suffering from the feeling that I was the only "weirdo" who had these feelings for the same sex.


I was about 13 when I first saw a program about gay men on Russian television. I exhaled with joy to learn that I was not the only one.

I haven't found my love yet, despite having many boyfriends and endless blind dates and encounters. But, I know that I am not the weirdo I thought I was.

I am still very feminine and love to do girlie things.
I love cooking, cross dressing, make-up, gossip, and cute boys :)

Be who you are, because you were born this way, too.

Sandro's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Brad Pitt
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Claire

Claire, age 8

Atlanta, GA (1984)

This picture is of me hanging out at my Uncle's house on a Saturday afternoon, watching UGA football with him and my cousins.

The cowboy hat and boots belonged to my Uncle, and he let me wear them all day. I thought I was hot stuff!

I loved being around my older cousins, too! They were so awesome.

And I can honestly say that I was born this way!

And the best part, is that I was born into a wonderfully loving family who accepts me for who I am.

Claire's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Linda Carter (as "Wonder Woman")

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Richard

Richard, age 7

Buena Vista, GA (1996)

This photo was during Christmastime at my step-grandmother's house. I'd asked for clothes, a pirate ship, and a few other toys. I had a vivid imagination, I loved to learn (at times), and to draw (I won first prize many times in art contests), and to escape from reality with my childhood toys.

Growing up in Georgia, my lack of masculine interests were more subtle. I hated hunting, and I would not touch fish or worms when fishing.

I didn't realize I was categorized as gay/feminine until my family and friends began to point it out.

In our culture, gay and feminine are tied together a lot. And around age 11, I began to realize that some of my traits were not desired, or to be seen or heard.

My grandfather, Peapaw, wanted me to play sports, which I didn't care for at all.

My step-mother once told me I looked like a sissy when I had a travel bag over my shoulder or my hands on my hips (like in the photo). I also enjoyed playing mommy or house with my sister and her friends. But the ridicule made me afraid to do things like this. I also didn't have the most masculine behavior or voice.

The older I got, the more afraid I got of being myself. I tried the track team,
I tried hanging with guys, and I attempted to spend more time with my father on his construction jobs. The guys I tried to befriend made me nervous, and I realized I was kind of attracted to some of them.

Coming out was stressful and depressing. There were times where I really wanted to go into the woods and kill myself. I knew I was gay at 11, and my father found out through church members and small town gossip. The pastor at my church asked me to leave and to not come back unless I wanted to change. I did not, and haven't been back to a church since.

During Junior prom, I confirmed it with everyone by dancing with my first boyfriend. High school and family life was rough, but I had a group of supportive school friends who were always there for me. I did get bullied though, as I was the only openly gay guy at school. I'm thankful that my gay uncle and his partner helped me during this time, because he suffered similar things with my family and had left. I am so thankful for that, as it encouraged me a lot!

Today at 21 and being out for 5 years, I've realized that I am who I am! My whole family knows, but most are not okay with me being gay. This is the reason I moved from my hometown to a more accepting city. I have a deep country accent, and no longer a girly voice. I'm a very emotional person and a very caring person, and I want children and a husband one day.

But does the fact of my sexuality matter!? No, I am ME!
Categorize me as gay, masculine, or not - and I WAS born this way!

Richard's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Aaron Carter, Lance Bass, Zac Efron

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James

James, age 7
Manchester, GA (1985)

This is a shot my mother took of my brother and I – for some reason – sitting on the roof of our dad’s car. My brother is – again inexplicably – holding our (strictly indoor) cat as I saucily lean in shirtless.

I remember absolutely nothing about this day. But, I love the look on my face. Maybe it's the pursed lips or the (veeeerrry) pre-Justin Bieber mop top, but I look young and happy. And, despite living in the not-so-tolerant rural south, I feel safe.

25 years later and more than 1,000 miles away from that day, I'm now a very happy, healthy, moderately well adjusted - and only slightly saucy - 32 year old.

James' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Phil Collen (guitarist in Def Leppard)

Good lord! :)

John

John, age 5
South Georgia (1966)

This is a shot of me from our very small town in south GA. I don't remember ever feeling free enough to be the me in this photo. This is me before the taunting, before the indoctrination, before the forced sports, before the shame, before the Southern and the Gothic.

He is clearly and naturally being himself. I love him and admire him, but I don't remember him.

I was "different" from the beginning of memory. As early as I can recall. I wish I could find some humor to lighten the moment, but there isn't any to spare.


The laughter was always directed at him. Until he changed; walked differently, interacted differently, sat differently and thus began the years of believing that deep down and intrinsically, something was wrong with him.

Only 12 years of uninsured therapy would begin to heal that.

I take great joy in knowing that somewhere inside me, is the boy in this photo.

John's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark Goddard (Major Don West on "Lost In Space")

The first man I fell in love with. He was dreamy!

Wende

Wende, age 7

Chatsworth, GA (1981)
 

This was my mothers attempt to get me to stop wearing overalls everyday.

I LOVED it, especially the cowboy boots!

By this time, I had known for a couple of years that there was something different about me.
I preferred the company of boys,
I hated dolls, and I really liked the girl in swimsuit model poster that my cousin had hanging on his wall.

I didn't totally understand why I shouldn't mention my affinity for that poster - I just knew there would be negative repercussions if I did.

Neal

Neal, age 8

Smyrna, GA (1979)

When I was a kid I stayed at my Grandparent's house during the summers so my Mom wasn't paying for day care. Contrary to what this photo may lead you to believe. I was actually a fairly normal little boy.

When I wasn't reading age-inappropriate romance novels, I was out in the garage setting fire to bugs with my grandfather's blowtorch. But then I'd go play Barbies with their neighbor's daughter - so make of that what you will.

"In a second, MawMaw - this is a sexy part."

I didn't really realize that this wasn't "normal" until around the 5th grade, when I figured out that I liked the way one of my classmates looked in his Toughskin jeans. "Buck Rogers" premiered around this same time and I remember liking Gil Gerard's tight white spacesuit a lot, too.

I dressed as Buck for Halloween a year or two later - wearing my mother's white go-go boots. Maybe that photo would have been a better submission now that I think about it!

I love this pic. Not only does it convey what an avid reader I've always been, it is also proof that my Mother used to cut my hair using a mixing bowl as a guide. Ah, the 70's.

I still read these horrible tacky books now and then to this day. They are great fun and the help lift my spirits when I start thinking that I'll never be published myself. If that crap got published, surely my crap can be published too!

Neal's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Gil Gerard ("Buck Rogers In The 25th Century")

Andrew

Andrew, age 9

Atlanta, GA (1989)

This was taken at a 4th of July celebration we always had in the neighborhood. It was a day-long event, but my favorite part was the bike decorating contest.

"I especially love my 'Royal Wave'"

This wasn't a very good example of my skills, but I think this was after most of my decorations had fallen off after the parade. I especially love my 'Royal Wave' that I probably had been practicing for the parade.

I think I always knew I was different, and luckily I had parents who let me be myself, and never discouraged me or made me feel bad about anything I did.

This picture was one that was included in a series that my mom scanned as part of my 30th birthday last year - many of which could have been included in the Born This Way blog as well. This was the sassiest, so I chose it.

If you had shown this picture to my friends in high school I would have been mortified. Now I look back on it with fond memories and a sense of humor.

Oh, and about the matching shorts and shirt in the photo?
I'm not sure if I'm gay, or just a resident of Boca Raton! But you get the idea...

Andrew's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Christoper Reeve (in "Superman - The Movie")