Shaun

Shaun, age 12

Buffalo Grove, Illinois (1991)

Growing up one of my favorite places was the Richard Simmons workout studio. Tucked away in a strip mall in our suburb between a Chinese restaurant and a Baskin Robbins, it was aptly called, “Slimmons.” My mom would take me with her after work, but I didn’t join the other kids in the play area. I’d sit in the back and watch the overweight women flapping their arms in the air as they sweated to the oldies. I memorized the routines, so sometimes I’d join in the fun. After class, we’d pick up Chinese take out and a pint of Rocky Road for dinner.

One evening, I had to use the bathroom. On the bathroom wall was a large poster of Richard Simons dressed in his iconic red striped shorts and rhinestone studded tank top. 

I loved and hated Richard Simmons at the same time.

I appreciated him for his flamboyant exuberance, but I was also embarrassed by it.

I sat down on the toilet and grabbed the magazine on top of the stack – Muscle and Fitness.
I thumbed through the pages looking at pictures of scantily clad, bronzed men and women. 

But when I reached the centerfold, I was paralyzed.  

The left side of the page was a woman in a gold bikini flexing her biceps. Meh! On the right was a man in a royal blue Speedo holding a bar bell over his head. 

My eyes raced over the picture of the woman, without so much as a glance, and landed in the center of the right page - directly on the man's Speedo bulge. I felt a spark, a tingle, a jump. This caught me off guard and I quickly looked up.  

My eyes landed on Richard Simmons' photo again - and he glared at me like he knew my dirty little secret. So I shifted my gaze back to the magazine first to the left side, at the woman. Again, I felt nothing. I then looked back to the right, at the man - and I sure felt something.  

"No,” I thought, “this can’t be right...”
I repeated the steps several times:

Richard, Woman, Man - Richard, Woman, Man.

And it was at that moment - as I took a dump at Slimmons, with Richard glaring at me - that confirmed what I had been trying to suppress for years: 

I was definitely gay!

Editor's note: you might remember Shaun from THIS brilliance! :)


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Ray

Ray, age 11
Villa Park, Illinois (1970)

I was about age 11 in this photo of me and my siblings on vacation. It's hard to believe, but there is three years between me and my older sister on the right. And the rest of us are only one year apart!

As for me, I grew up very fast. And I always knew I was gay. But looking back at this pic, I don't understand how it was a shock to my parents when I came out.

My siblings knew I was gay right from the start. When I told my parents, they were very accepting to me and my friends. All in all, life was good. 

That was so long ago, that in this day and age, it just breaks my heart how some parents can just toss their kids out of their lives for being gay. 

We've come such a long way, but we still have a long way to go. 

Today, I'm 56 years old and living a wonderful life in fabulous Las Vegas. 

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Jack

Jack, age 2

Chicago, Illinois (1969)

This photo should be in the dictionary under foreshadowing. Looking at my baby picture now, I find it extremely funny. And think at some point, my mother most likely HATED that damn toy box. 

As a kid, I was all about watching TV. "Dallas" was my favorite, but my mom didn’t let me watch "Dynasty" because there was a gay character on it. 

In my teens, music (and especially Laura Branigan) was my obsession. I even managed to meet the woman three times in the mid-80's.

I’d have to say that my first man-crush was Michael Landon from his "Little House On The Prairie" days. But it was my obsession with Lindsay Wagner in "The Bionic Woman" during the 5th grade that started the years of bullying. 

We were inside for recess and I was pretending to be bionic. Of course, I couldn’t say that I was pretending to be Steve Austin - it had to be Jamie Summers. 
Thankfully, though, the teasing finally ended during my senior year of high school.

The truth is, I can’t remember NOT knowing that I was gay. But I fought it tooth and nail until the spring of 1986 (the end of my freshman year of college) when I gave in to my primal urges and kissed a boy on the lips (and some other things).

I had a long coming out process starting with my college friends, friends at home, my family (cousins, sisters, aunts), followed by sharing with my parents when I turned 30. And no, it wasn’t any kind of surprise.   

Today, I'm a happy, well-adjusted 46 year-old gay man living in Chicago. I'm the Director of Operations for a Healthcare IT company and have been happily partnered for the past 7 years.  

The funny thing is, everyone loves my partner – especially my parents. So sometimes life just works out, even after living through some hellish times as a kid.   

I imagine it’s easier to be gay these days, but for all of the kids who find it hard to accept and might not have the strength to come out, my message is:

Be strong, be yourself, and know that it does get better.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jacqueline

Jacqueline, age 7
Pekin, Illinois (1989)

As a kid, I always had way more guy friends than girl friends, and I wanted to look and dress like a boy. Even my parents were convinced I was a boy. My mom wanted to name me Ben, but my dad said "No!" because people would call me "Bengay" - which is kind of ironic considering how that all turned out.

Thankfully, my parents let me express myself the way I wanted and do the hobbies I was interested in.

It is hard to pinpoint the age, but I guess I always knew I may be different. Especially since the girls I was friends with didn't want to look like a boy or build forts.

As you get older, you start to realize being gay isn't the norm, especially in a small town in middle America.

Although being made fun of hurt my feelings, I never let it get to me. I was determined to not let anyone see it hurt me, and eventually I grew thick skin and slowly stopped caring what people thought.

My first girl crush was on Jennifer Aniston, but I wasn't legitimately attracted to a woman until college.  I didn't get to officially "come out" though, as my college roommates told everyone after they saw me sneaking out a girl who had stayed the night with me.

Today, I guess I am almost a poster story for having the most supportive friends and family, who have Platinum PFLAG status. I am so thankful for them, my wonderful friends, and the accomplishments of my chosen career path.

And oh yeah, a wonderful dog AND my girly hair cut now. _____________________________________________________

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Greg

Greg, age 2
Plano, Illinois (1974)

This photo was taken at my grandma's house, where I remember listening to
Judy Garland's "Send My Baby Back to Me" on a 78-rpm record in her basement. On the left I have my Ken doll as I'm coveting my sister's Barbie Dream House that she got that day. I couldn't even take my eyes off of it posing for a photo! And as you can see, she's trying to get me to face the camera.

I first realized I was "different" in 7th grade. I prayed that it wasn't true and that I would change, but I just didn't find girls attractive. I didn't really know what gay meant though, so I thought maybe I was supposed to have been born a girl.
I was pretty tormented emotionally, and I felt depressed.

My same-sex crushes were the boys on "Eight Is Enough" - all of them. My mom tells me I was in love with Chastity Bono, so go figure. Closeted through high school, I don’t remember being picked on for being gay. But, I'd been bullied and teased because of my size and lack of athletic interest and ability.

When I turned 25, I was given the greatest gift: self-acceptance. And I remember feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. Upon reflection, I realized that I had always been gay and soon began coming out to friends and family, and I finally came out to my mom 3 years ago.

Today, I live as an openly gay man. I've been told by straight men that they respect me for being who I am, and that makes me feel great. I feel that I should use my position to educate others, to pave the way for future LGBTQ kids so they don't have the fear of being "found out" that they're gay.

I was born this way, and I love it!
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Cricket

Cricket, age 7
Biloxi, Mississippi (1984)

My photo is from an Arts & Crafts fair I was at with my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousins. We were selling handmade monkey puppets that wrapped around your body. They wanted me to pose next to the rocking pony for a picture, and I didn't want to. Hence the sassy attitude, which I still have today.

I was raised in the suburbs of New Orleans, and my mom and dad were divorced before I was born.

My grandparents and an aunt raised me with a watchful eye.

I was not a shy boy, and I was very outgoing, artsy, and athletic. I loved tumbling, painting, volleyball, soccer, and cheerleading.

My father tried to get me to play more "manly" sports, but that never worked out.

I always felt different, and not like my cousins or anyone I knew.


I first realized I was gay was when a neighbor's son (a Marine) came to get me to drive me to where my father was with his friends.

We were walking down the street and he asked if I wanted to race. I said sure, and he took off like a bat out of hell. All I could look at was his butt. It was so perfectly round! I was so attracted to it, but didn't know what that feeling meant.

Today, I'm a dental assistant living in Chicago with barely any communication with my family. I feel my father is ashamed of me for being gay, and that most of my family is mad at me for leaving to try and pursue a life outside of the south.

But I'm still dancing and cheerleading, and I love it.
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Aiden

Aiden, age 11
Springfield, Illinois (1997)

It's hard to believe that the child in this picture was born a girl named Annie.
Because even as a child, I was rather androgynous looking. It wasn't until I hit puberty and began to grow breasts, that I began to look a bit more feminine.

Now I am 25, and I consider myself an FTM transgender. Sometimes I wonder if I am
Bi-gender, though. I look back and I'm surprised I didn't realize it earlier.

There are a few memories that speak out to me as I look back.

First was in middle school when I cut my hair really short. And all the kids called me Andy. I didn't mind it, and I didn't even bother correcting them. But they began to call me "G.I. Jane," and that's when I got mad.

I once read an article about transgenderism, when I was 14. I remember thinking for a split second "Hmm, that sounds familiar." But I didn't really give it a second thought until many years later. At the time, I wrote my feelings off as just being a masculine girl. But now, I know that was incorrect.

I never really felt quite right as a girl, and I was very tomboyish growing up. I still had my Barbie dolls, but I preferred the male ones. And I loved my Hot Wheels, Model Cars, and Micro Machines more. Somehow even through my love of fishing, camping, and the outdoors, my mom still never got the idea.

When I finally came out as trans, my family didn't seem surprised. But they still refuse to call me the right pronouns or name. I fear that - in their eyes - I'll always be their precious little girl. The only one in my family that seems to remotely get it, is my older brother. He calls me Andy and his "Brosis," which is better than nothing.

As if being trans wasn't enough though, I am also gay/pansexual. I had crushes on lots of guys growing up. I remember my mom always called me "boy-crazy" and I'm still that way to some extent now.

Today, I live in Phoenix, AZ with a dog, a cat, and my girlfriend/roommate.
I have recently connected with a few other trans people in my area, and we try to get together as much as possible. All in all, things are looking up.

My advice to LGBTQ kids now? Never stop believing in yourself!
I know things are scary right now. But remember, they can only get better.

Aiden's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas (in "Tom & Huck")
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Denise

Denise, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1963)

I would have thought that being thrown out of the Girl Scouts when I was 8 -
for being caught in my sleeping bag with one of my female camp counselors - would have tipped someone off!

Like many before me, I knew early on I was "different" but so afraid to name it.
I didn't want to be a disappointment to my parents and family. Growing up in a large Italian family was tough enough.

Being a lesbian would have destroyed them. Or so I thought. Of course, like most Italian families, we didn't dare talk about such things!

I tried to be correct in my clothes choices and my dating, etc. Although always in sports (clue #2), I pretty much stuck to myself except for the occasional date with a guy to keep my family happy.

I eventually met a nice man named James.
And he put up with a lot from me.

James and I married, and I struggled the entire marriage to make it feel "right." And I wanted to be "normal" in the worst way. We finally divorced and went our separate ways when I met a woman at work, who turned my world upside down.

I officially came out to my family then. And guess what? They weren't surprised!
I was prepared for drama that never came; only love for me through my journey.

I eventually met my current partner in 1983. And we have been friends, lovers, and partners in life ever since. We have 2 beautiful teenage sons, own our own businesses, and a home in Denver, CO. And although our state doesn’t recognize our relationship, all the people that matter and mean the most to us, do.

One day, hopefully soon, we may be able to get legally married.
So my message is this: It does get better. Stay true to you.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Daniel

Daniel, age 5
Quincy, IL (1959)

When I was small, my family fished every weekend on the Mississippi river.
We'd use bamboo poles and earthworms and fish off my dad's home made boat.
We would fry the fish we caught for Saturday night supper.

I don't remember much from back then.
I know the facts, but they don't seem like they happened to me. I do remember not feeling different, I just always liked boys.

But I didn't like a lot of things boys did - sports, rough and tumble, competition. Fishing, yes. But I was also a bookworm, and liked growing flowers. I loved "Davey Crockett" on TV, and I had a coon-skin cap.

My parents loved me, but they didn't want me to be gay. I was bullied a lot, and I had a secret route that I walked home from school, to avoid the bullies. Growing up, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave town.

And I did.

My message to LGBTQ kids now is:
If people mistreat you, it means there's something wrong with them, not you.
It really does get better and better.

Daniel's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Greg Morris (on "Mission Impossible")
I think I became a tech geek partly because of him.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Robyn

Robyn, age 3
La Grange, Illinois (1987)

This is me, my baby sister, and my grandma. I am on the left, of course!

I was always a late bloomer, in all aspects of my life.

I didn't come out until after
I graduated college. But somewhere deep inside,
I knew I was queer by age 3.

I mean, look at this photo!

I know the photos we submit don't need to "scream gay" to be posted on this site...

But I think this one does just that!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Brent

Brent, age 4
Hanover Park, IL (1964)

As a kid I fancied long hair, and loved my mom's hat and dish towel for the full effect.

And this is a YouTube video
of me at this age, where I fashioned a dress out of a dish towel and have that "off the shoulder dress look" going on.

Earlier reports from my family have said I was prone to carrying mum's purse around at family gatherings.


I am happy I was born this way. My friends tell me I laugh in my sleep, actually.

Through all my perils of addictions, cancer, and losing my mate of 19 years to AIDS related ALS, I'm still full of hope and laughter.

Treva

Treva, age 4

Chicago, Illinois (1965)

I knew from a very young age that I was different from everyone in my family.
I made up reasons as to how I was different - i.e. adopted, switched at birth, stolen, and even that I was half alien! As a young child I detested dresses. The only way I would wear one was if it was blue, so I was always dressed in blue and my younger sister in pink.

One year in high school a butch girl was in my class. I was fascinated by her and sat next to her all year. She wore mens' clothes and had a pocket watch! I was too afraid to talk to her, but I defended her almost daily to all my friends. I still remember her with fondness!

I never knew that women could be together until after I was already married.
I broke up with my husband and came out when I was 33. And now my ex husband introduces me to other women as a marital aid! He still regrets that.

My oldest daughter outed me to my family one Christmas, by walking in the house and declaring "Merry Christmas, my mom is gay!" I didn't find this out until two years later.

Let me say that I am not your stereotypical lesbian. I am fem, have 3 daughters, and 3 grandchildren. I love being gay, and that was what was missing from my life as a straight. And I will never go back!

I've recently started doing drag and love that too. I love pushing the envelope and making people think. I believe that we can be anything we want, as long as we have fun and hurt no one.

As for the gay youth of today, I think they are on the right track. Being gay is way more open and accepted then it was when I was young.

So try to be true to yourself, and everything else will come.

Treva's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Tie: Trixie on "Speed Racer" and Maryann on "Gilligans Island"

Later I was all about Linda Hamilton in 'The Terminator.'
I like my butch girls! 

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Brittany

Brittany, age 5

Galesburg, IL (1992)

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be just like my dad. In this picture, as you can see, I'm wearing a tank like him and posing like him. And look at those guns! He has always been my hero, above all others.

I knew on some level I had a crush on my kindergarten teacher, which was around this time in my life.

I also was beating all the boys at sports and things we did on the playground.

I loved playing with dad's old G.I. Joe figures, and shooting my toy bow and arrow in the basement

I wanted to be Robin Hood.

Although, I didn't fully admit that I'm a lesbian until I was 17.



But once I came out, I looked back and realized SO many instances over the years that made me slap my forehead and think: How could I NOT have known?

When I came out to my parents, they were devastated, as they are very religious. My dad said that somehow he wasn't surprised, and had seen this coming.
It killed me to disappoint him. All I had ever wanted was to impress him and be strong, just like him.

My parents are not in my life now, but I can honestly say that though I miss them terribly and wish things were different, I am so glad that I figured out who I really am.

I have felt more freedom and learned more about myself and the world since
I came out, than I ever thought I could. I know that a lot of why I have made it out on my own is how strong my dad raised me to be, and I am proud to be his daughter every day.

Not everyone understands us, or why we are the way we are, but that's okay - they don't have to. We all have to make our own way, and as long as you are happy with your life and the decisions you have made, that is what really matters.

Katherine

Katherine, age1

Chicago, IL (1960)

That's me on the left, being pushed by MY OWN MOTHER to kiss my second cousin Cheryl. I found this in some boxes of old pictures at my dad's house. Though both my parents had been through those boxes numerous times to rummage for scrapbook-worthy snaps, they never chose this one.... hmmm.

Many years later, on the night my mom and I had that conversation, she asked, "What did I do to make you this way?" I wonder now if she was thinking about this picture, pondering: "DAMN. She was fine until that one idiotic party when someone had the bright idea to make the two adorable moptops smooch."

My mom died 5 years ago, and I wish I could have told her that the Christmas party incident recorded in the photo did not "make" me a lesbian. She certainly knew that the other girl in the picture was not a lesbian, so maybe I'm wrong.

I never needed mom's help after that to move in the direction of other girls!
Anyway, I love this picture and I'm glad I rescued it from cardboard box oblivion.

My message to young gay people:

Your family members value integrity, honesty, and loyalty - more than they value observance of social conventions. Or an adherence to a presumed moral code. But, give them some time to remember this after you tell them.

Katherine's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Julie Andrews (in "Mary Poppins")

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Matt

Matt, age 9

Schaumburg, Illinois (1983)

I'm Matt, and this photo was shot while I was visiting my cousin in Phoenix, and her neighborhood friend came by for a swim. The following is my story...

I remember during recess, running around pretending to be Wonder Woman. After school on Fridays, I would sleepover at my cousin's who only had Barbie dolls to play with.

I was juggled around A LOT as a kid, due to my mother being terminally ill with MS, and my father working the 2nd shift at the airport. Because of this, I didn't have many friends and had always been a shy loner.

Junior High came around, and that meant changing/showering in front of other boys during gym class. I knew for sure now, that I was more attracted to them than I was to girls. My parents might have also sensed this, as they promptly enrolled me in a Catholic high school.

A kid on the bus once asked me whether I liked Playboy or Playgirl magazine. Not knowing what either was, I answered the latter. I figured with word "girl" in it, I was safe. The same day, a bully on the football team threw his meatball sandwich on me during lunch, but luckily a girl lent me her cardigan uniform.

It wouldn't be until a year after graduating from college that I came out to my friends, and a year after that to some of my family.

Today, I am finally comfortable with who I am and no longer feel ashamed to admit to my sexuality. It's ironic that those who knew me as a child, say they weren't surprised. Yet people I meet as an adult are usually surprised.

Perhaps I should cue the "Charlie's Angels" theme song and strike that Farrah Fawcett pose more often. Or spin around with my Lasso Of Truth?

Matt's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Gregory Harrison (on "Trapper John, MD")
Dirk Benedict (on "Battlestar Galactica" & "The A-Team")
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Erik

Erik, age 5

Burbank, IL (1988)

I was definitely born with style and a love for the camera. It almost seems innate that I knew how to do a couture pose at age 5. Go figure that I'd grow up being in the media, and a stylista. That's me: winning style contests and setting trends.

Early on, I placed women on a pedestal and seemed to align myself with them. I think the first time I realized I was "different" was in kindergarten.

I would play house with the girls in my class, and we'd debate as to who would be the housewife, and who would be the husband. Even then, I was just trying to break gender stereotypes.

The first time I knew I was attracted to men was in 5th grade, while holding one of my male classmates legs as he did sit-ups in gym class.


I sat fixated, watching his shirt crawl up his chest as he thrust up and down.
I did, however, have a crush on Alyssa Milano from “Who's the Boss." Although, from what I hear, most gay men my age did and still do. She’s fierce!

Pop culture always played a major role in my life then. I watched "Labyrinth" almost daily and idolized Wham and The Eurythmics. I didn’t care for the typical "boy" toys and would sneak into my sisters' room to play with their Barbies.

Being effeminate did cause me to get picked on sporadically. But I had a single mom and two older sisters who constantly instilled in me, that the only person I could be was me. God made me and He doesn't make mistakes.

With that knowledge, I was able to build a great collection of steadfast friends, and find my voice. Ever since, I've devoted my time and career to helping others find theirs; by lending an empathetic ear or through my dating/advice column, "Fire Down Below."

For those of you who may not have a great support system, or wonder if things will get better? Trust me: There's a whole cornucopia out there to explore.
And plenty of people ready to love and accept you for exactly who you are.

It's a pretty amazing journey. Honest.

Erik's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Travolta (in "Look Who's Talking")
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