Lenny

Lenny, age 3
Bellevue, Idaho (1947)

I was known as Little Lenny, the "City Boy" with wild west affiliations combined with an English bloodline. My great grandparents were pioneers to the West and were among the earliest ranchers and silver-mining adventurers in Southern Idaho. I have a little Native American blood, too.

I always felt different deep down. You know what I mean? As a young child I slept outside in the summertime and stared up at the stars, pondering: 

Where does life end? 
How far is infinity? 

Nobody knows everything, but I knew being different was unanswerable even then. I had no choice but to go along with life and take a ride.

From my earliest memories I knew I was not like everyone else. But I didn't know what "gay" actually was back then. 

People mostly liked me, but I do have an older sister who sent me to the emergency room after various baby-sitting "accident" occasions. Truthfully, I would call those homicidal inclinations. 

I still have scars, and I call her "the assassin" to this day. She pretends she doesn't remember any of this because I was an "adorable" child. Yeah, right.

I know that life can be a double challenge for LGBTI people of all nationalities and races. I come from hearty English-American stock and we keep on moving no matter what troubles we encounter. It's the American Way!

I also know that we are everyone's child, sister, brother, co-worker and best friend. Gay people are a part of life and we share our lives with everyone. 

Nothing can change that fact!

I am now 72 years old and an active artist, and I live at the foot of an active volcano in Central America. I have always loved my life, and I still love my life.

And I still stare up at the stars in the heavens and feel inspired by life around me. The life I have been given is the one I deeply enjoy and am grateful to always have had. So for all the young gay kids reading this now, I will tell you: 

IT GETS BETTER! It honestly does.
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Robert

Robert, age 5
White Settlement, Texas (1943)

This was snapped on my first day of school, in a place called "Liberator Village." "Liberators" were bomber war planes made in a factory there, and my tiny Mama crawled inside their wings and welded things.

Back then, kids couldn't start school till after their 6th birthday. But because Mama didn't want me to wait till I was nearly 7 to start, she falsified my birth date so I could start when I was still age 5.

Because I read well, I was quickly promoted to 2nd grade. Although lonely among older kids, I wasn't afraid of school.

One summer, I had lured neighbor boys into the schoolhouse's deeply-recessed doorways to play "You show me yours, I’ll show you mine."

I never had problems about my gayness. Because homosexuality was so feared,
no one ever talked about it or warned me against it. So I wasn't indoctrinated.

Also, I read Sappho, Catullus, Isherwood, and Auden early, and it was actually harder being smart than it was being gay.

I was beat up through high-school for "carrying too many books." Although both straight and gay boys attended my notorious "slumber parties," they were afraid to befriend me in everyday life.

Thus, I lived vicariously through movies and books, and instead of having steady boyfriends, I secretly worshiped movie star Tab Hunter.

Later in life I was alone and maladjusted. I dropped out of college and was thrown out of the Air Force. I fortunately visited New York and wandered into the Caffe Cino, the first Off-Off Broadway Theatre - and the birthplace of gay theatre.

And it was there, at last, that I found artistic, intelligent, gay friends and lovers. Though I was openly gay, I had an international playwrighting career.

It’s somewhat easier being gay today, but things can change in an instant.
Or worse, they can change with an election. So be wise and be wary, kids.
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Johnny

Johnny, age 3

Rockford, IL (1949)

That's me, wedged between my brother and my father at our favorite summer retreat: Clear Lake, Wisconsin. Even though I look reasonably happy, I probably wasn't, as I hated having my picture taken.

I can't remember a time when I didn't know I was somehow different than other boys.

The Christmas after this picture was taken, I was obsessed with getting a dollhouse from Santa. Amazingly, my parents got me one. That probably wasn't the first clue they had.

As I grew older, I began to pick up little hints and suggestions that the way I acted wasn't really acceptable.

I remember telling my mother about junior high crushes I had on other boys, until I figured out she didn't really want to hear it.

I had been having crushes on boys for a long time. I had a big crush on Bobby Driscoll, who played Jim Hawkins in the Disney version of "Treasure Island" - and I was only 4-years old. But my parents never said anything.

And they said nothing when I never once had a date in junior and senior high school. Or in college, for that matter. They never said anything when I never played baseball or didn't do other boyish things, preferring instead to read.

The problem, was there were no gay role models in our conservative town. There was no way for me to even put a label on the feelings I had. When my best friend and I fooled around at age 11, it didn't open a new world for me; it pushed me further back into the closet.

It took me a long time to accept myself for what I am, and I had to go through a lot of pain and sorrow to get there.

If I have any advice to give young gay kids, it is:
Don’t be afraid to be who you know you are. You can't live in denial all your life.

All the suffering I experienced did teach me a valuable lesson, however: that I'm not the only one who is suffering. I've been a Buddhist monk since 1993, and I now dedicate my life to helping others find true happiness. It's the least I can do.

Johnny's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Bobby Driscoll (in "Treasure Island")

Brandon DeWilde (in "Shane")
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Mike

Mike, age 2
Jacksonville, Florida (1949)

"Honey, get your hands off your hips.
That's how I got started."

I was a pretty happy kid, and always very artistic. I got the colored chalk in 1st grade and would draw holiday pictures.

I won the Jacksonville baby contest a little while before this was shot, so I guess I made my debut back then - complete with a little gold cardboard crown (my first tiara).

I didn't even figure out I was gay until my 20's, but I always knew I was different. I hated sports, and I loved outer-space shows and cowboy shows on TV.

Today I'm a full-time painter of the Southwest, and my work is shown in the Booth Museum.

There's something about butch men in boots really does it for me. And maybe something about Indians tying them up, too.

I love this picture, now that I love myself as a gay adult.

To young gay kids: Those other kids giving you a hard time now will soon fade into your memory. Don't let them define you, and whatever you do - try not to live in anger. That hurts you more than it hurts them. And it means they won.

I've been very comfortably out for decades now and wouldn't have it any other way. The straight folks that really count in your life, really don't care.

Be proud and make a great example.
That's what will change peoples' minds about gay people.

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tommy Kirk (in Disney's "Hardy Boys")
He turned out to be gay too. I guess I had Gaydar even back in the 50's...
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Bernie

Bernie, age 4

Chicago, Illinois (1948)

One Halloween, our mother dressed up me and my brother Dennis (age 3, on the left) as Carmen Miranda. For those readers unfamiliar with Ms. Miranda, she was a popular Portuguese-born Brazilian singer, actress, and Hollywood film star in the 40's and 50's. She was particularly noted for her signature fruited turban, which my mother tried to emulate in the costumes we wore.

I think she did a pretty good job with my towering turban, long grass skirt, lei, and one of her clutch bags that I used for trick or treating. Most boys this young, of my era, dressed as cowboys or pirates, and I can't imagine that we asked to dress as Carmen Miranda. But we apparently cooperated - lipstick and rouge to boot! - and we look happy with the end result.

At an early age I shied away from competitive sports and much preferred solitary, creative activities like making plaster Disney characters, copper enameling, model kits, wood burning, reading and baking. While I loved making cakes when I was about 9 or 10, I somehow felt that it was an activity that should be kept confined to my immediate family.

I knew something else was going on when I read comics or magazines that had pictures of hunky guys in bathing suits. I would place the tip of my finger over the bathing suit and imagine that these guys were totally naked. I was also smitten with Buster Crabbe who played Flash Gordon in the 50's TV serials. He was later replaced in my heart by Tim Considine, Tommy Kirk, and the other teenage boys acting in film and TV at the time.

I went through grammar school without a girl friend, but in high school did the required amount of dating. On dates, I'd often find the waiter more attractive than the girl I was with. While he wasn't famous back then, Harry (Harrison) Ford lived in my neighborhood. He was in his "hood" phase at the time, and was often out strutting around dressed totally in black. And I thought he was quite sexy. Anyway, by my early 20's, I was going to the gay bars in Chicago.

Around that time, my brother came out to me, and it wasn't long after that our parents learned that they had two gay sons. After a bit of a rocky transition, our parents became very accepting of both of us.

I'm now a retired businessman living in suburban Chicago with my wonderful partner of almost 38 years. We will probably be "civil unionized" this summer, now that Illinois has passed a civil union law. We might also go to Iowa and get married, although we'd much prefer to do so in our own state. 

My brother Dennis, seen in the picture, had a wonderful life. But he was gone too soon, and cut down by AIDS at age 46 in 1993. I wrote a little speech for his memorial service, and in it I made reference to this picture, wondering out loud about my mother saying: 'What was she thinking?'  The audience, my mother and father included, couldn't help but laugh.

Nature versus nurture? I don't think my mother knew in 1948 what the future held for her sons, nor do I think our Carmen Miranda costumes made us gay. But it was still a momentous beginning, don't you think?

Bernie's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tony Dow (Wally on "Leave It To Beaver")

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John

John, age 3

Doyle, Tennesse (1949)

Here I am, Raggedy Andy doll in my arms, on my tricycle in my great-aunt Arrie's front yard. My older sister Julie and our cousin Linda Ray (Arrie's granddaughter) are protected from the hot Tennessee sun under their umbrella, as my mother hovers in the background.

Even with the doll, I don't see anything particularly gay about this picture. But it was probably about this time that my sister and cousin started dressing me up in frilly play dresses, using me as a doll for playing house.

From a very young age I was privately proud of being different from other kids, but that was primarily expressed through being the class “brain” & teacher's pet all through elementary, high school, college, and grad school.

My sister says that I always got away with doing everything I wanted. I don't remember it that way, but I know what she means. I was the best little boy in the world. Grownups loved me for it; kids, not so much.

After having 3 beautiful children and 16 years of a rather happy marriage, I finally came out at age 40. Then soon after, I got divorced.

Today, I've been with my partner Bruce for 16 wonderful, fulfilling years. Between us and their mothers, we raised 6 wonderful kids (sadly, one deceased), who are all happy, sane and fully employed.

My sister (5 years older than me) finally came around to having a gay brother, partly through the positive influence of our cousin, who lives across the river from us and is our best friend.

Last time she visited from Atlanta, my sister - with the same, impish challenging look she shows in the picture - asked me:

'Does everyone like Bruce better than they like you?'
I said, 'Yes, I guess they do!'
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John's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Pernell Roberts & Dan Blocker ("Bonanza")

Both were pretty hot

Peter

Peter, age 6
Portland, ME (1949)

This is just a school photo of me. I really don’t have any photos depicting me in gay poses because I’ve never been even the slightest bit feminine. Well, one exception – I was 17 and working for my future brother-in-law at his gas station, and figured that gay guys should have SOMETHING feminine about them. So I grew my fingernails about a half-inch long. But they interfered with my work (mechanic – gas pump jockey), so I cut them off after a couple of months.

I was once a horse trainer, and at 22, one of the first guys I chased around was a younger stable boy. But I never did get him (dammit!). 

From as far back as I can remember, I've always known that I was different. My interests in humans has always been directed toward men, although I didn’t know what a "fag" was until I got into school. I was always playing cars and trucks in the dirt like the other boys, and was never interested in "girlie" things.

But I REALLY liked all the wrestling we did as kids. I knew it made me aroused, but hadn't realized why at that point.

In 1st grade, I got the crap kicked out of me because some 3rd grader decided that he didn’t like the way I talked (I have a cleft palate – without the hair lip though). I decided then and there that the experience was so distasteful, to say the least, that I would NEVER allow that to happen again. I quickly learned how to take care of myself, and have never taken any crap from anyone for any reason since.

I eventually came out at 17 when my dad asked why I never brought my friends to the house. After I told him that it was because they were gay - and so was I - he didn’t speak to me for 3 weeks. Eventually, he ended up trying to fix me up with the son of one of his employees. I told him that I'd rather find my own dates.

I've always been interested in all things mechanical. I've worked as an ironworker, a car mechanic, and I'm now self-employed with a restaurant and cafeteria/cooking hood-cleaning business.

While I don't advertise being gay, I never steer away from an opportunity to educate the straight world that gay is who we are, and it's OK. This is the way God created us, and that they can either get over it - or spend their lives fuming about it. That is the only choice in the matter!

I've been blessed with supportive family and friends, most of whom are straight. I live in a small town of 3,500 in Arizona and live a completely open life here.

The only way my life could be any better (maybe), is if I won the Lottery. 

Peter's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ricky Nelson ("Ozzie & Harriet")

Veronica

Veronica, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1948)

I actually remember this photo being taken across the street from the apartment building where my family lived in the East Rogers Park area of Chicago. I’m on the right with a big nervous smile because the neighbor girl, with whom I was smitten, had put her arm around me to pose for this picture.  Even at this age, I already appreciated that my feelings were not the same as those of others.

“Oh, wow, she has her arm around me!” 

Gender roles were extremely rigid during the years of my childhood. In Catholic school, I was always in trouble. The nuns persecuted me because I didn’t behave like a typical girl.

Eventually I grew to hate the nuns and would purposely pull stunts to mock them and to make the other kids laugh. I became a “discipline problem.”

The left side of my report cards was filled with A grades for the course work; but the right side of my report cards (which was for deportment) was always full of checkmarks.

Yes, I was a “tomboy,” but I also played with the girls. I just couldn’t get the other girls and the boys to play with each other.

Being different became a lifestyle for me long before I came out. Sensing that I would never marry, I focused on being smart and getting an education – knowing that if I didn’t, I would probably have a bleak life. Working my way through college at females’ wages was difficult. As a woman back then, earning a PhD in science was also a long and hard haul – but I did it!

From my earliest memories, I always felt different; and from my earliest memories, my crushes were female – but the attractions were so innocent that I didn’t come out until the age of 24. In college, I dated guys, who were very good “catches” - but I didn’t sleep with them.

My generation was the one that pioneered “The Pill” so I was able to pull the “good girl” routine to avoid intimacy. Sooner or later, my boyfriend would “get serious” and that would be the end of the relationship for me – because I just didn’t have “feelings” for him.

I didn’t understand why my girlfriends were so focused on their love lives until I fell in love with a woman who was already out to herself as a lesbian. Then, I got it!

And it didn’t take long to get political as a lesbian feminist.

Veronica's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Gail Davis ("Annie Oakley")