Jose

Jose, age 3
Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic (1980)

"I feel like nothing else in the world would change me, even if I was born again"

This is a section in an autobiographic novel I'm writing. I don't know when I'm going to finish it, but if my mother was alive, I imagine she'd tell me:
"What are you waiting for? People would die to have that kind of creativity."

My mother died of cancer when I was 6-years old, and the way I remember her is like the rocket to my dreams.

She was a free spirited woman; always buying me aquarelles, crayons, puzzles, and creative stuff for her little Jochy, her loving nickname for me.

Since I was little, I felt a passion for colors. And as If I already knew their meaning for the gay community - I loved rainbows.


On TV, I adored Jem & The Holograms, Care Bears, My Little Pony, Sailor Moon, and Japanese anime'. I loved dancing to Sade, Madonna, and Cyndi Lauper in the rain, even if catching a cold got me in trouble with mom.

I remember taking down the kitchen curtains to use as a little skirt, to dance like the beautiful ballerina swirling on my grandma's music box. The compartment in the back was like a magic box of images and enchantments filling the air.

I loved playing with my cousins' Barbies, brushing their hair, and making dresses for them. That might sound like a cliché now, but that was part of my creative universe. Then on weekends, me and my cousins would turn grandma's little backyard into a battlefield for our toys.

That was me, an imaginative child that would make the world his playground, like writing tales in the sky. Those childhood dreams became a man's desire to build a better place, a world that gave the best from the inside to outside. I realize now this all became a passion for architecture, which is my major in college now.

Ultimately, discovering myself and learning to love the true me, is a journey that keeps inspiring transcendence in my heart. Living a life that is a lie only serves to wake you, or it breaks you.

Being human and a passenger for this short voyage called life is all that matters. So enjoy the view and paint the sky with more magic rainbows.

Carpe diem! And give yourself a big hug!

Jose's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Christopher Atkins (in "Blue Lagoon")

Emilio

Emilio, age 8

Dominican Republic, (1998)

This is me geared up in my "Little Mermaid" pool accessories, ready for the summer. My obsession with mermaids began way earlier, when I was about 3-years old. My mom and I watched "Splash," and after that, I was obsessed.

 When Disney released "The Little Mermaid,"
I met my first love - the handsome Prince Eric. To this day, he is still the only man I've ever loved.

It took me years to figure out why I loved mermaids, but hated Ariel so much.

Well, it was because she stole my man! :)


But I didn't realize what those feelings meant, because I didn’t know I was attracted to him. I didn't know I was gay until a bit later, at around age 13.
That's when I finally understood my feelings, and what it meant to be gay.

I always heard about the 'evil homosexuals' from my family, but I never associated that with people who loved others of their same sex. I just thought they were bad people whom I was supposed to stay away from.

I was always the odd kid in the back, who never played sports and never fit in.
I was never teased about being a little feminine though (which I was), but I was teased for being the shortest in my class. Which meant I didn't have a lot of friends or to want to be around my classmates.

I always loved drawing, and you'd usually find me under a table somewhere, drawing mermaids. But over time, mermaid tails became landscapes, and landscapes became buildings.

Today I cant help but smile when I look at that picture, as it reminds me that I've always been myself, and never wanted to hide it from anyone. Now, I'm close to graduating from architecture school, and I have a lot of great friends. And those friends came along right after I figured out who I was.

I'm very happy, though some things never change: I still draw the occasional mermaid, and still think that b*tch Ariel stole my man!

Emilio's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Prince Eric ("The Little Mermaid")
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