Lenny

Lenny, age 3
Bellevue, Idaho (1947)

I was known as Little Lenny, the "City Boy" with wild west affiliations combined with an English bloodline. My great grandparents were pioneers to the West and were among the earliest ranchers and silver-mining adventurers in Southern Idaho. I have a little Native American blood, too.

I always felt different deep down. You know what I mean? As a young child I slept outside in the summertime and stared up at the stars, pondering: 

Where does life end? 
How far is infinity? 

Nobody knows everything, but I knew being different was unanswerable even then. I had no choice but to go along with life and take a ride.

From my earliest memories I knew I was not like everyone else. But I didn't know what "gay" actually was back then. 

People mostly liked me, but I do have an older sister who sent me to the emergency room after various baby-sitting "accident" occasions. Truthfully, I would call those homicidal inclinations. 

I still have scars, and I call her "the assassin" to this day. She pretends she doesn't remember any of this because I was an "adorable" child. Yeah, right.

I know that life can be a double challenge for LGBTI people of all nationalities and races. I come from hearty English-American stock and we keep on moving no matter what troubles we encounter. It's the American Way!

I also know that we are everyone's child, sister, brother, co-worker and best friend. Gay people are a part of life and we share our lives with everyone. 

Nothing can change that fact!

I am now 72 years old and an active artist, and I live at the foot of an active volcano in Central America. I have always loved my life, and I still love my life.

And I still stare up at the stars in the heavens and feel inspired by life around me. The life I have been given is the one I deeply enjoy and am grateful to always have had. So for all the young gay kids reading this now, I will tell you: 

IT GETS BETTER! It honestly does.
________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Sawyer

Sawyer, age 5
Boise, Idaho (1998)

I remember in kindergarten I'd bring my "Star Wars" toys to school and trade them with the girls for their Barbies. This is not to say that I didn't love "Star Wars." In fact, I loved it so much that I received duplicates of almost every toy available for birthday/Christmas gifts. And that made it possible for me to have a Mermaid Barbie with color-changing hair AND a Star Wars Disk Shooter!

When I'd spend a night at my grandma's house, she'd always let me safety pin a towel around my waist. Or wear one of my grandpa's t-shirts with a belt, as I liked the way it felt to spin in circles and have the fabric billow out.

My grandma was, in fact, the first person to inform me that gay people even existed.

One time, we were looking through a People Magazine and she told me the women in a photo were Rosie O'Donnell and her girlfriend.

I asked, 'Girlfriend? Like they're in love?' and grandma said "Yes" with a smile. That short conversation gave me the courage to get through high school and come out to my family soon after I graduated.

Honesty is the best policy, I say.
Today, I don’t hide myself anymore and people love me for it.

I still love to wear XL t-shirts around my apartment, because it reminds me of the ball gowns and red-carpet looks I used to work at my grandma’s house.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Sarah

Sarah, age 3
Nampa, Idaho (1973)

I remember this Christmas well. I sat on Santa's lap at the mall and asked for a chainsaw. He looked pretty confused according to my mom, but it must have made an impression - because it's what I got! My eyes are a little red in the photo from crying, because I had to wear a dress.

Growing up in Idaho, I didn't know I was gay. But I knew "gay" was a derogatory term.

I knew I liked girls since I can remember and needed to hide it. I also remember my my first celebrity crush was Samantha on "Bewitched."

Right around the time of this photo I got a boy's style haircut and had the kids convinced I was a boy.

I had little girlfriends who would make me the husband when they played house.

I even had a girlfriend in kindergarten and we'd kiss on the bus.

During 1st grade, I was outed by the bus driver as a girl. He told everyone, "Sarah is a girl's name! You are a girl!" I was mortified. I eventually gave up the charade, but school was tough. I always felt like a freak who didn't fit in.

I moved to Los Angeles once I graduated school and finally felt at home for the first time in my life. I'm very happy and comfortable with myself now as I don't have to pretend anymore. And I've been with my wife for almost 17 years now.
____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Kelly

Kelly, age 13

Twin Falls, ID (1979)

This is a pic of me and my dog Penny on Christmas morning. Though I tried not to act like a "sissy" as a matter of self preservation, my true nature always seemed to present itself in candid photos, including this one.

I knew I was gay in 2nd grade. I'd fallen in love with the male lead in a movie shown at school during an assembly. Later, I asked my mom if 'two men could love and marry each other.' After determining I wasn't asking because I'd been molested, she told me 'No, but they could be very good friends'.

Then I replied, 'Well, I'm going to marry a man' - and I stomped away to my room.

I like this photo now, but it took awhile. The curly hair was the result of a home perm I had begged for in an effort to look like Mike Brady (the dad on "The Brady Bunch").

I eventually made peace with the fact that I was always a 'girly boy', much to my father's dismay. The signs were there: I played with my sister's Barbies, cut my jean shorts way too short, and chose to help my mom in the kitchen over working with my father on the car. 

I feel protective and sorry for the younger me in the photo. Because we all have a right to be who we intrinsically are - instead of what society or our parents believe we should be.

Kelly's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Lee Majors, Gil Gerard, & Lyle Wagoner 

They were all my MAJOR crushes growing up
______________________________________________________
   

Steve

Steve, age 9

Pocatello, Idaho (1970)

Here, I just turned 9 and our Cub Scout den is putting on a pageant for the Catholics, at the local Knights Of Columbus hall. I liked Cub Scouts a lot, and loved earning merit badges - especially the ones involving cooking or writing.
I particularly liked dressing up in the uniform; twisting my kerchief just so, positioning the blue and gold metal neckerchief slide, and fastening the clasp on my shiny brass belt buckle.

But I liked tonight’s dress-up attire even better. I got to play a knight in the pageant, and Mom and I designed an elaborate costume that is sure to be a hit with the audience.

And Voila! - I'm now the gayest knight Columbus never had. Neither of us thought this at the time, of course. That awareness would come later.

After the photo shoot, Mom called Dad in to show off our handiwork.
He wasn't pleased to see his son in tights, glowing orange or otherwise.

I flash to another night, two years earlier. Mom helped me dress as a Barbie doll for Halloween. I've never forgotten the look on my father's face when he saw me. He pulled Mom into their bedroom, but I heard every word of their fight.

That was the night I understood I'd never be the son he imagined I would be.

Dad refused to let me leave the house until I had changed into 'the kind of costume boys should wear.' I could see that Mom had been crying, which made me start to cry. She calmed me with her soft voice, telling me she had a better idea anyway. And in no time she transformed me from Barbie into Casper the Friendly Ghost.

But on this night, I hope my father sees past the tights, to acknowledge this costume in service of something masculine: the brave warrior armed for battle.

I'm age 50 now, with 30 of those years spent with the man I love. I no longer cover my face in service of masculinity. Rather, masculinity serves me. My father remains mired in 1960, still worshiping some ghost of a son that will never materialize, and unaware of the one who survived.

But I have only gratitude:
After all, he made it possible for me to be born this way. 

Steve's first, famous-person same sex crush:

David Cassidy (Keith on "The Partridge Family")
He was singing "I Think I Love You" directly to me. Check out the lyrics - reminiscent of 70's-era same-sex love.
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet