AJ

AJ, ages 5-7
Battle Creek, Michigan (1996-1998)

Growing up, Halloween was always my favorite holiday. This hasn't changed much since I was young, but now I look back on my love for the holiday in a much different light. I think it was the attraction of stepping into the skin of someone who wasn't me that spawned my interest. This lead to me dressing as multiple women during my childhood.

Having been reared on nearly every Disney movie, I was immediately drawn to the female villains. These women were not merely evil (something that I was not), but they were supremely confident in who they were (something I also was not). But above all else, they were interesting.

You can leave your princesses behind, and give me an evil queen any day!

I lived for the time of year when I felt confident enough to dress up as one of these powerful women. In hindsight, I give tremendous appreciation to my parents for allowing me to dress in this way year after year.

We live in a time when something like this can go viral on the internet if given enough traction. I can only imagine it was much more taboo in the mid 1990's.

However, my parents never batted an eye at it, and I think the pictures show that my mother had a fun time herself putting the ensembles together.

It wouldn't be until over a decade later that I managed to find the courage within myself to come out of the closet. Yet I can't help but wonder how surprised my parents must have been, if they were surprised at all.

Although it took time, I feel as if I've finally managed to grasp the confidence and power that made these women so interesting to me.

And for now, we can leave all the curses and spells behind...
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Tom

Tom, age 8

Mercer Island, Washington (1974)

Here I am with my little sister at Disneyland, striking a quick drag queen pose.
A favorite pose of mine when I did drag later in life, but I'm surprised how early it started! This photo is especially funny, as my first celebrity crush at age 5 was Mickey Mouse, and I used to be intensely jealous of Minnie Mouse whenever I saw her. I'm glad to see that I got over my resentment.

My dad just sent me old Super 8 home movies on DVD, and there was a lotta gay in me from early on. One 10-minute clip is devoted to older family members trying to teach me to run - without swishing my arms at age 2. They were trying to erase the gay at age 2! Bless their little, caring, fearful hearts.

We moved to a neighborhood across the lake when I turned 5-years old, and I have vivid memories of being gay and wanting to marry some of my close boy friends, even at that age. The feelings start pretty early sometimes. I'm quite confident that I was born this way, and happily so.

But I wish I could have discussed this with my parents. Or with anybody! Whenever the topic of sex, love, and romance came up in my presence, there’d be a kind of painful, frozen silence. Everybody practiced 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell' with me. As a result, I was a little behind on the learning curve when it came to seeking healthy gay relationships, rather than acting out a slutty gay stereotype.

But, I'm learning - a lot. And feelin' more normal than ever. The gradual acceptance by society helps. Still, as most of you know, the long road to acceptance starts within.

My first celebrity crush with a human was actor Terry Thomas, which lasted for many years. I had a recurring erotic fantasy where I would crawl through the gap in his front teeth, and fall asleep curled up on his tongue. I so loved his lisp.

Tom's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Terry Thomas
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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