Samantha

Samantha, age 3
Wildomar, California (2001)

I’m the one in the diaper with all my brothers and three family friends in the back. It was my birthday and everybody had been wearing boxers the whole day so, obviously, I was in my pull up! My mom made everyone "dress up" for pictures -- but I refused.

I was always naked back then. I didn’t even know the difference between boys and girls until I had to use a separate bathroom in first grade.

Being raised with seven boys made me think I was a boy, too. I just didn’t know any different. I wore their hand-me-downs, and we played with (and destroyed) toys together. It was just my life.

I didn’t know what gay was until my dad told me never to come home with another girl or he’d kick me out. I wouldn’t even hold my best friend's hand in school for fear of being seen as gay. But I wore the label “Tomboy” proudly in my oversized T-shirts and baseball caps!

Seventeen years after this photo was taken, me and two of the boys behind me are proudly gay. Both parents struggled with it, but they’ve been so supportive. They love me and I’m so grateful to have them.

After depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, and self harm, I’m much better now. I’m in college and proudly lesbian. I love who I am and I’m not ashamed of it.
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Samantha

Samantha, age 2
Rural Iowa (1990)

I was ALWAYS the tomboy. I asked for a tool box when I was 9. In this photo I'm actually helping with the assembly of my own swing set. It was my dad and all of my uncles - and me.

"My very first wrench."

I didn't really feel "different" until halfway through high school when I realized that the very strong emotional and protective feelings I had towards my female friends weren't quite the norm.

The thought came to me but I dismissed it the way you do a severe reaction to a mild complaint. Such as, 'My foot hurts - It must be broken!'

I got mad at myself for jumping to such extreme conclusions.

Eventually, I couldn't deny it anymore, and breathed a sigh of relief at finally embracing myself.

Samantha's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Catherine Zeta-Jones (in "The Mask of Zorro")