February 12, 2011


Robert, age 4
Brooksville, FL (1974)

The pic is from my cherished "memories" cabinet. It was my Kindergarten play and first costume ever in public. If you look close, you can see the real prunes my mother pinned onto the outfit. And notice the pink ricrac. The next year I was the King, for my big jump to 1st grade. And this is where my storytelling and theatrical career began! I LOVE this pic now, and actually gave framed copies, signed by "The Gingerbread Man" to my mom & two sisters in 2004!

"The Gingerbread Man"
A good friend shot this pic, whom also I ended up having theatrical adventures with, and who also had a best childhood friend who was gay!

She recently gave us tickets to see 9 To 5 and West Side Story, so take that, haters! Just because you come out, does not mean you will lose everything and everyone.

I was, and still am, energetic, overly creative, and smart. My folks started me in dance class to expel some energy.

I had no desire for sweaty sports, until I got much older. Much, much, older.

I have been gay since birth, though I didn't feel "different" until a supposed best friend turned on me in 7th grade. Then the hell began. I couldn't wait to get out of my small town, so I went to college far away.

It is hard to love your family and stay friends with folks from childhood, but really dislike the pervading pall that is the blessing/curse of an isolated small town. It's great in some ways, but certain cancers are never fully eradicated.
Still, until a best friend turned on me and made me his target, it was great.

Now, being an adult, I am out, proud, and quite open with my life. Although things naturally shift when your life doesn't revolve around alcohol and sex as much as it does in one's 20's (regardless of gender, identity, or orientation). And for anyone who comes out late, it simply means re-living being 16 again, with all of the pitfalls and inherent traps.

Which is why so many older gays that come out act so outlandish. The sudden freedom is so liberating, and the pent up sexual energy is finally released, so to speak. It does wreak some havoc in its wake. Luckily, mine played out in tandem with mostly normal development, and I've counseled more than my share of older, closeted gays about what is to come.

So remember, everyone:
It is not always self shame, but external shame thrust upon us, that causes us to feel different. No matter what age.

Let Love Lead.

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Race Bannon ("Jonny Quest")
I still have a thing for platinum Daddies.
And I've ben happily partnered to one for nearly 7 years now...
Jonny Quest - The Complete First Season 9 to 5 - The Musical (Vocal Selections) West Side Story (Full Screen Edition)


Paige said...

Let Love Lead. I really like that.

Jessica said...

I am so happy to stumble across this blog. It is now my favorite. It makes me very happy to see and read. Thanks for sharing!