February 05, 2011


Josh, age 2
Brooklyn, New York (1974)

Here I am holding a pretzel rod in one hand and, making jazz hands in the other. And look at the sparkle in those eyes.

I was always into the arts from as far back as I can remember (age 4 or so) and that continues to this day. I knew I was a gay kid around 7 or 8-years-old, but didn't know what "gay" was. I just had crushes on other boys and that was that.

As an adult, I love this picture. It accurately reflects the person I continue to be today. When people see this photo, they say 'You're just the same!' - and I like to think they're right. My friends have always all been cool with me being gay. Most of them are NYC born and bred artists, so being gay to them is just being human.

I don't think my father took too well to my tendencies, but I suppose it's like that for a lot of fathers of gay boys. It's a toughie. He could have done better, but I don't hold it against him. Unfortunately, I was still closeted when my Mom passed away, and still denying to her that my boy friend was actually my boyfriend. That kinda sucks upon reflection: being asked flat out and denying it. 

For gay kids, I say go find the other kids in your community that are gay.
There are more gay resources and role models now than ever, so don't be ashamed or afraid. Find support and be supportive. It gets better, as they say.

Josh's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Ricky Martin (in Menudo)
Jason Bateman (in "The Hogan Family")
Guess I had Gaydar on Ricky, eh? But neither of 'em interest me now.

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


Erin said...

I loved your post! Your picture looks so much like many I have of my son (currently 4 yo). So dramatic! Thank you for sharing your story.

Alexander King-Martin said...

Lol... Perfect photo of Josh. Though I must admit, I believe there's an even more telling photo of you on stage with a bunch of fairies at the age of 4.