February 13, 2011

Jason

Jason, age 3
Bangkok, Thailand (1992)

When I was in 1st grade, my best friend stopped talking to me, and I confronted her. She told me, with the most confused and sad look on her face, that she thought I was a girl that entire time. Rumors then spread that I was a girl, and the bullies ganged up on me, trapping me at the playground one day. I cried and cried until I thought of the only solution to fix the situation: I pulled down my pants and showed them. And from that day on, I became "one of the boys."

I always loved to dress up and take pictures. As you can see, I had a thing for being a sailor. And I really credit my mother for my fabulosity.

I remember shopping every single day with her, and she'd let me carry the shopping bags. I also credit my biceps from an early age, thanks to all those bags.

From a young age, I already knew about the holy designers my mother fashioned; her Fendi mini-dress, Chanel bag, and heels.

Everyone knew about me, but no one said a thing. My family loved to twist stories, saying stuff like I'm a pimp with lots of girlfriends, as I always hung out with girls.

One day at the school cafeteria, a friend who I came out to accidentally replied loudly, "BUT YOU'RE GAY!" to something we were talking about. At first I was shocked and angry, and silence filled the room. But soon it began to stir up again, as no one was surprised - at all.

Although I was always accepted and even admired, I never felt truly free until I moved to New York for college. I ate Chinese food that first night and my fortune cookie said: 'May the rainbow always touch your shoulder.' I smiled and just knew this was right.

My advice to kids today is:

Everyone - gay, bi, or straight - is just as unique, weird, and beautiful as you.
So, be weird together.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:
David Beckham (soccer player)
I had his pictures all over my closet door, and always wore his number jersey.
I hated soccer and any other type of sports, but my parents never suspected.
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David Beckham Poster Print, 24x36 The Beckham Experiment: How the World's Most Famous Athlete Tried to Conquer America Thai for Gay Tourists: A Language Guide to the Gay Culture of Thailand Love of Siam

2 comments:

randuwa said...

Your teachers were ghastly creatures both for not recognizing your uniqueness and not affirming and shielding it. Thank you for sharing your story!

Distraught in San Francisco said...

Wonderful story. Keep writing.