Jason

Jason, age 7
Brush Valley, Pennsylvania (1976)

Back in the 70's, we always got the necessities for Christmas: clothes, school supplies, and shoes. AND, one special thing from our Santa wish list. All I wanted for Christmas that year was the Lynda Carter "Wonder Woman" doll. And you have never seen a child so happy as the Christmas Day when I opened my "special" present, and there she was - WONDER WOMAN!!!

As for school, it was not easy for me. Throughout grade school and high school I was picked on and bullied and called names I would really rather not say. But I SURVIVED! I graduated high school in 1987 with a graduating class of 167 seniors. And I thought I would never want to see any of them again.

I immediately moved to Tampa, FL and to no one's surprise, I "came out." I went back to college and moved into the business field. Now, a quarter century later I work for a multi-billion dollar healthcare firm.

On Facebook in 2009, I started seeing people I went to high school with, and we began talking. I found out that those who picked on me the worst had a story of their own (abusive homes, sexual assault, drug problems). In November, we had our 25th HS Reunion. The people I thought I would never want to see again gave me such a wonderful evening, that we didn't stop talking until 5:00am!

My message for LGBTQ kids today is:

Right now you are on but one path. This path may seem insurmountable, but if you push through, there will be thousands and millions of paths to choose. And if none of those paths are for you, then pave your own!

You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done, or there is no hope. I am just one of millions, and I found my path.

I am surrounded by a wonderful family (not all necessarily blood family), incredible friends, and the satisfaction of know that I SURVIVED, I have LIVED, and that I have no regrets.

Be exactly who you are and be PROUD!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 8

Page, Arizona (1984)

I'm the middle child in a family of 10 boys, no girls. My parents were (and still are) ultra-conservative Mormons. To top it all off, my dad was the Phys Ed. coach at our local middle school. Which, I suppose, makes him more of a lesbian?

I have so many funny memories from my childhood. Luckily, I was blessed with a healthy dose of innocence to protect me from the repressed social 'norms' all around me.

I knew from age 5 that I was attracted to other boys. All my best friends were girls, but all my crushes were boys.

Back then, I figured everyone felt that same way, so there was no need to talk about it. 

In my pic, all the obvious signs were there for the whole world to see:

Leather boots, bow tie, carrying my Cabbage Patch doll (named Clifford), and protectively mothering my younger brothers for the photo. That's Josh, Jacob, and Sam with me here.

What I wish I had, is a picture of my pink flannel E.T. night gown! My mother had received a box of donated clothes, and when I searched through them and found that 'gem', I became obsessed!

I would come home from school, take off my school clothes, and don my night gown. I was obviously very comfortable in it, because one day I wore it while riding bikes with my neighborhood friends. Which is when and a kid shot me (twice) with a BB gun! Imagine, my first gay hate crime at age 7!

I also remember my infatuation with Wonder Woman. It went beyond idolizing her - I wanted to BE her! I'd sneak around into our side yard and pray to God with every fiber in my being, to PLEASE let me turn into Wonder Woman.
I did the spin, and when nothing happened - I literally balled my eyes out!

There are certainly more stories, like drama class, choir, and being the only boy on the clogging team for 5 years. Yes, I was a River Dancer years before it became a cheese-tastic phenomenon.

All these years later, I'm so grateful for all the colorful experiences that shaped my childhood. I've gone through some struggles with my family, but I'm happy to say it's all been worth it. The biggest victories have come from being exactly who I am at all costs. And I can honestly say I'm proud of the man I am today.

It's my sincere belief that the best way we inspire others, is to live by example.

And I hope that the gay and lesbian youth of today continue to embrace the uniqueness, that is inherently ours for the taking!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 4

Iowa City, IA (1978)

I grew up in a rural farm town in Iowa. I always felt different, but didn't know quite why. But I lucked out having a mom who supported how different and creative I was from a very young age. She encouraged me to bake, sew, and garden with her. Particularly since my 2 sisters were less interested in all that.

When my great-grandmother died, my mom inherited some of her old clothes, including mink stoles, opera gloves, purses, and hats.

My mom wanted them to hold on to her memory, but they soon became my play costumes.

My mother had two close friends with sons, both a bit younger than me. One day while all the moms socialized at our house, we three boys dug into the closet where my great-grandmothers clothes were stored.

We donned various items of clothing, and then paraded out to show them.


We performed a Woman of the Year beauty pageant/fashion show, going back and forth with new ensembles, and doing a fashion runway. And all our moms thought we looked adorable.

I'm still amazed to this day how they didn't scold us or try to stop our behavior. In fact, they applauded our antics.

Years later, all three of us boys came out as gay.

My mother jests that "there was something in the water" where we grew up.
She understands that being gay is like a gift, and I am so grateful for that.

I'm now a multimedia and performing artist, and much of my work is proudly gay-themed. I know that the encouragement I received from an early age to be myself, no matter how different, helped me on my path.

I had to be extremely cautious at different points in my childhood and teenage years about my expressive nature, but I made it through. It didn't necessarily get easier or better, but I got bolder and more certain about who I am.

Which is, being most grateful to be born this way.

Jason

Jason, age 8

Mechanicsville, Connecticut (1982)

"Mork and Mindy" suspenders, a sparkly Tweety Bird t-shirt, ironing a flowery tablecloth, and that nasty cold sore? Yep, I'm gay. People always ask, "When did you know?" The real question is, when didn't I know? While I didn't know there was a word for how I felt, all I knew is that it was the way I was.

In the 1st grade, I wanted to be Princess Leia - because I had a huge crush on Han Solo.

I'd jump on my Mom and Dad's bed, falling and bouncing, and pretending Han and I were escaping the Evil Empire.

I didn't know I could be a boy and still like boys, so I assumed I should have been born a girl.


Growing up with TV, my gay role models were Jodie Dallas (Billy Crystal) from "Soap" and Beverly LaSalle, the drag queen from "All In The Family." I think Billy Crystal's character had the most impact on me growing up. I assumed that since I liked boys like he did, that I had to get a sex change like he was going to.

I didn't really know what a sex change was, except that I'd be a girl and things would be better. For the longest time as a boy, I secretly dreamed of turning 18, going to Switzerland, and becoming a girl. Thank God for today's TV role models.

I am the baby of 4 children: two gay boys and two girls. My sister Tracy is the closest in age to me, and we would play house together. She would pretend to be Pamela Ewing from "Dallas" and I'd be the alcoholic Sue Ellen.

Our other favorite thing to play would be "2 Sisters." We'd pretend to be sisters who lived next door to each other with our husbands. We had such imaginations back then, and had such fun times.

School was hard for me, and I was bullied as far back as I can remember. I was called queer, f*g, fairy, you name it. It hurt a lot at the time, but I would never change who I was or the person I am today.

I always knew deep down that I was "normal" and its okay if your normal isn’t the same as everyone else. That's what makes you special.

So celebrate and embrace yourself.
You are amazing, so keep hanging in there and love who you are.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Harrison Ford (in "Star Wars")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Jason

Jason, age 3

Bangkok, Thailand (1992)

When I was in 1st grade, my best friend stopped talking to me, and I confronted her. She told me, with the most confused and sad look on her face, that she thought I was a girl that entire time. Rumors then spread that I was a girl, and the bullies ganged up on me, trapping me at the playground one day. I cried and cried until I thought of the only solution to fix the situation: I pulled down my pants and showed them. And from that day on, I became "one of the boys."

I always loved to dress up and take pictures. As you can see, I had a thing for being a sailor. And I really credit my mother for my fabulosity.

I remember shopping every single day with her, and she'd let me carry the shopping bags. I also credit my biceps from an early age, thanks to all those bags.

From a young age, I already knew about the holy designers my mother fashioned; her Fendi mini-dress, Chanel bag, and heels.

Everyone knew about me, but no one said a thing. My family loved to twist stories, saying stuff like I'm a pimp with lots of girlfriends, as I always hung out with girls.

One day at the school cafeteria, a friend who I came out to accidentally replied loudly, "BUT YOU'RE GAY!" to something we were talking about. At first I was shocked and angry, and silence filled the room. But soon it began to stir up again, as no one was surprised - at all.

Although I was always accepted and even admired, I never felt truly free until I moved to New York for college. I ate Chinese food that first night and my fortune cookie said: 'May the rainbow always touch your shoulder.' I smiled and just knew this was right.

My advice to kids today is:

Everyone - gay, bi, or straight - is just as unique, weird, and beautiful as you.
So, be weird together.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

David Beckham (soccer player)

I had his pictures all over my closet door, and always wore his number jersey.
I hated soccer and any other type of sports, but my parents never suspected.
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Jason

Jason, age 11

Saint Paul, Minnesota (1984)

When I look at this picture, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh for the young, spirited grade school kid that found tremendous joy in wearing his Granny’s wigs. Or, cry for the young kid who grew up with little joy in his spirit.

I always knew I was "different" but was never able to make the connection as to what that difference was. Everyone else apparently knew; I heard it in the halls, the schoolyard, and in the lunchroom.

From grade school on into high school,
it was the same four perjoratives: "girl," "sissy," "wuss" - and the dreaded "F" word. Eventually, that's what "different" meant to me.   

I always made promises to myself:
If I could just have more boys as friends, then I wouldn’t feel different. If I could just stop wearing Granny’s wigs, then I wouldn’t feel different. If I could just hold my breath underwater for 20 minutes, then I wouldn’t feel different.

But I didn’t, I wouldn’t, and I still can't. Yet somehow, sometimes even still to my amazement, I carried on, knowing that someday I'd redefine my "different."

And eventually, after finally coming out, I did. My adult life as a gay individual has been filled with awakenings and wonderment. Friendship and merriment. "Different" has now translated to "special" and "unique." "Different" now means "fascinating" and "exceptional." And my spirit is filled with joy beyond measure.
I can’t imagine my life any other way.

I wish I could go back, if only for a moment, and reach out to the young version of myself. To tell him things will turn out just fine. That his sadness will be replaced with blessings exceeding his wildest dreams. That "different" was just a nine letter word that set him apart from others. That the only thing "different" now - is the difference he’ll make in other people's lives.

And more importantly, that his wigs will eventually get much more fabulous.

My message to any youngster that feels "different" is simple:
You will survive. You will rise above. You will be fantastic.

And you will redefine your "different" too!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 9

Glendale, Arizona (1984)

On the day of this pic, I remember being extremely annoyed that I had left the Michael Jackson button on. My brother found my zeal for pop stars and dancing 'really girly.' He warned me before I left the house not to 'leave that faggy looking button on' for my school photo. 'Like I would forget to take it off!' is probably what I fired back at him. Of course I left it on, and now my childhood love of MJ is forever immortalized in my 4th-grade class photo.

I always felt different as a child, but I didn't have a name for it. Everyone else sure did, though!

Starting in 4th grade, all the kids had many names for my difference: fag, gay, homo, and any other pejorative term they came up with.

It was until I graduated high school that I allowed myself to explore my sexuality for myself, and then eureka! - those kids were correct all along!

Looking back, I wish I'd been more aware of my sexuality sooner, so I could have taken the teasing in stride, or felt I could have fought back.

As it was, I found the teasing and bullying unfair and spent years trying to act more masculine. Naturally, it didn't work and I'm just as much a limp-wristed, fashion-loving homo as ever! See the proof HERE.
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Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mackenzie Astin (Andy on "The Facts Of Life")

This was my absolute favorite show while growing up.

Jason

Jason, age 4

Laurel, Missouri (1979)

All I wanted Santa to bring me for Christmas was an Incredible Hulk doll and a Wonder Woman costume. I wasn't aware Wonder Woman's ensemble had a version with pants - but Santa apparently took pains to find it.

I wish I had the photo of my dad sitting on the couch opposite me, as he had this really concerned look, complete with a grimace. He and mom obviously loved me though, as there are many more incriminating photos of me. This one is way more flattering than the one of me in a long yellow scarf and cowboy boots.

Ten or more years ago, I'd cringe at this pic. But now all I can think of is,
'Wow -- I'm pretty dang lucky to have my mom and dad.'

I've pretty much always known I was different than all the other kids at school and church, even before I ever knew what gay was. I mean, outside of The Flintstones' 'we'll have a gay ole time' reference.

I wrestled with my sexual identity and denied it for years, up until some straight friends bought me a lap dance in my 20's, and all I could think of was:
'Lord, I hope that stripper's body oil doesn't clog my pores.'

That's when I knew.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Christopher Reeves ("Superman II")
Ricky Schroeder ("Silver Spoons")

Both figured prominently in my fantasies -- and usually simultaneously
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 4

San Diego, CA (1985)

I remember just liking dresses because I thought they were pretty and it just felt natural to do something, like iron. Haha!

"Everyone else seemed to know way before I did."

I don’t remember feeling “different”

I felt normal and never had anyone treat me any differently until much later in like 5th or 6th grade.

I think this picture is funny and I don’t have a problem showing it off.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Dolph Lundgren

From the movie "He-Man" when I was a kid - then "Universal Soldier" later
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