February 14, 2011


Ernesto, age 6
El Paso, TX (1991)

When I stumbled upon this picture a few years ago, my first thought was,
'Wow, what a homo!' Then I thought to myself, how nothing really has changed.

I was always a sensitive boy, with my head in the clouds and my heart on my sleeve. Even when it wasn’t a class requisite, I still used to buy Valentine cards for the girls on the school bus. I was semi hoping for a girlfriend, or at least my own Valentine - none of which I received. Even though I had this 'way with the girls,' it truly wasn’t what my heart desired.

My angsty teen years - which could be perfectly narrated by Christina Ricci - were kind of lonesome. I had no one to commiserate with, and no gay peers. Then high school came, and I began to embrace my homosexuality. I would no longer awkwardly dodge the 'are you gay?' question.

And I began to taste my freedom.

It took my moving to a different city to fully be me. I have lived in Phoenix and New Orleans, and I am grateful to now have the gay support system I needed. It is through these experiences, and my amazing friends, that I am building up the strength to one day come out to my mom.

Now, my favorite color is Blue, favorite animal is the Lion (although some would argue it's a Bear), my favorite game is Scrabble, and my favorite holiday is still Valentine’s Day.

Ernesto's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Omri Katz (in "Hocus Pocus")
Hocus PocusThe Opposite of SexClaiming CupidL'amour (Cupid with a Butterfly) By Antoine-Denis Chaude, Marble Finish Statue 8-inch


lina said...

I thought being cay was more of like a choice when you got older like around your teen years but now that I'm seeing this blog I see that there are early signs of it when kids are young. Changed my mind about, but I still don't support it. Either way the blog is pretty cool.

lina said...

woops I misspelt gay woops

Paul V. (Creator) said...

What is it you "don't support"?
Do you mean gay people?
If so, that's a sad statement against an entire group of people -- based on??? What part of our humanity are you against? How about explaining WHY?

Jim E said...

Just discovered this wonderful blog. I'm a straight person who lost two gay colleagues to AIDS, and Im firtunatre enough to live in the Bay area with its wonderful diversity. It's so import for us straight people to hear all kinds of truth from LGBT folks. May this blog soften and open many hearts and closed minds.

Jim Eitel

Adam said...

I absolutely love this one because you think of the teacher who wrote this on the card. I recently got lunch with my kindergarten teacher, and we talked about David Sedaris and Sex and the City and feminism and gay marriage (she was pro on all counts,) and I couldn't help but think that she probably saw signs of my homosexuality when I was in her class.

Eamonn said...


One Woman's Thoughts said...

The innocent truth in children. Honorable.
Long ago, there were children around me, that I knew, way before they did.

If adults could be more honest with all aspects of who they are, maybe it could be a more beautiful world. Lying and denying has hurt too many people.

mtd1123 said...

Love this and love you. You are such a wonderful gift. I'm glad you were born just the way you are.

Harper A. said...

I also think about what the teacher must have thought when they wrote this out. I remember our classes filling things like that out, and I wish I had one to see what I liked back then. What a sweet entry.