Josh

Josh, age 2

Brooklyn, New York (1974)

Here I am holding a pretzel rod in one hand and, making jazz hands in the other. And look at the sparkle in those eyes.

I was always into the arts from as far back as I can remember (age 4 or so) and that continues to this day. I knew I was a gay kid around 7 or 8-years-old, but didn't know what "gay" was. I just had crushes on other boys and that was that.

As an adult, I love this picture. It accurately reflects the person I continue to be today. When people see this photo, they say 'You're just the same!' - and I like to think they're right. My friends have always all been cool with me being gay. Most of them are NYC born and bred artists, so being gay to them is just being human.

I don't think my father took too well to my tendencies, but I suppose it's like that for a lot of fathers of gay boys. It's a toughie. He could have done better, but I don't hold it against him. Unfortunately, I was still closeted when my Mom passed away, and still denying to her that my boy friend was actually my boyfriend. That kinda sucks upon reflection: being asked flat out and denying it. 

For gay kids, I say go find the other kids in your community that are gay.
There are more gay resources and role models now than ever, so don't be ashamed or afraid. Find support and be supportive. It gets better, as they say.

Josh's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ricky Martin (in Menudo)

Jason Bateman (in "The Hogan Family")

Guess I had Gaydar on Ricky, eh? But neither of 'em interest me now.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Josh

Josh, age 5
Winchester, Virginia (1979)

This is a photo of me dressed as a witch at age 5 or so, on the sun deck at the house I grew up in. I'd like to say it was Halloween, or at least October. Typical, since I spent much of my childhood in some kind of costume or drag.

"My pretty!"

I have a vague recollection of this outfit. What I remember most is that my mother helped me make it.

I remember that blue fabric was used in many costumes by folding and draping it in different ways.

We obviously made the hat and the broom. The black gloves were hers.

My parents loved me and nurtured my creativity and never tried to dissuade my interests.

My mother once helped me make a hoop skirt. Her friends would bring me dresses that they bought at the Union Rescue Mission for cheap (loved that yellow tulle ball gown!).
 

Looking at this pic now, it looks like a stereotype. But at the time I remember being loved for being exactly who I was. And I am so grateful for that.

I always felt different. From 4 or 5 on, I really became aware of myself as different from others, especially from other boys (except for a few, but I won't name names).

I loved the Wizard of Oz and especially the Wicked Witch of the West (shocker). I remember being captivated and a little repelled by Paul Lynde on Hollywood Squares, seeing something of myself in him, and being a little afraid of it.

Thinking back, there was code like that all over. It's fun to decipher in retrospect. I finally found words that described me to myself by about middle school. I started coming out to friends in high school, exploded out of the closet in college, and I haven't looked back ever since.

Josh's first famous person, same-sex crushes:
C-3PO ("Star Wars") & Michael J. Fox ("Family Ties")
C-3PO was so sensitive! I had a cardboard wine suitcase full of
Michael J. Fox pictures I cut out of teen magazines
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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