May 28, 2011


Igor, age 2
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (1989)

I have only but flashes of my childhood. In our new neighborhood, there were only a few people living nearby. There were no other kids around, and being the chubby kid in school didn't exactly make me the most popular student.

I was being called names since forever, and my only friends were my teachers and the school staff.

I always felt different, and I could tell since the age of 5 that I had a "thing" for boys.

All my friends were girls, and I'd spend most of my time wondering how it would be when I became one. Because I was sure that being a boy wasn't for me.

My father was utterly against my demonstrations of femininity, and he did everything he could to change my ways: soccer, skating, and trying to buy me a motorcycle when I got older.

I remember this one special Christmas when I was around 7-years old, and my uncle gave me a complete set of GI Joe figures, and I couldn't care less about it! All my devotion went to my cousin's new Barbie doll, and I was so jealous of her!
Why couldn't I get the cute gifts?

This picture might seem like nothing special, but it shows how carefree I could be back when I was a baby. The fabulous shoes I had, catwalking in diapers.

When I came out at age 18, I asked my father how could he not be impressed with his gay son, who could sing all the lyrics to "I Will Survive"? Eventually,
my parents came around, and now they're with me every step of the way!

That same energy kept me going until I decided to come out of the closet.
And if there's a "gay energy" that marks us as being happy, no matter what,
then I'm sure I've had it since birth.

To those who, like my boyfriend, still haven't come out, or are struggling hard while doing it, hang on! Be free to do what you like with whoever you like!

That feeling of no shame or guilt or the need to hide, is the best reward you can get in life. It gets better!

Igor's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Stamos (on "Full House")

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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thewacher said...

did you always pull your dipper off?
you sure were care free by the looks in this picture.
i am glad to read thay yo are enjoying yourself now that you have come out. i hope your boyfriend will also find the courage and stregth he needs to come out of the closet.
life is so much better when you are free of hiding your true feelings.

Igor Mello Diniz said...

I suppose I did! I still do it with my underwear sometimes!

I hope he does too, but I know it's hard and won't push him into it. Each person has its own time to do things. Mine, fortunately, came sooner and I regret to have waited so much.

p_pardu said...

Great! I'm also from Brazil, a little younger than you and I'm facing the same issues as your boyfriend's. I hope I have the courage to tell my parents.