Julia

Julia, age 5

Caracas, Venezuela (1990)

That's me on the far right in this pic. The interesting part about this picture is that it shows a very different part of me: I was very feminine as a child. Today, as a grown woman, I am a complete butch! Go figure!

"A feminine butch? You go girl!"

As a child I was always secretly admiring women, especially my preschool teachers who were all very feminine. Since very little, I knew there was something exotic about women - their sweetness, their affection and, their hugs!

I used to play with Barbies a lot, pretending they were girlfriends. Sometimes I even made them kiss! This made me feel I was doing something 'wrong'.

At around the age of 16, I discovered Mariah Carey and became fascinated by her beauty and voice. Time went on with me thinking it was wrong to dream of girls. Then I kind of didn't want to wear feminine clothing, but I had no choice.

I can't say what specific time age I consciously knew I was gay, but I can say that at 24 years old, when I officially came out to my parents, I knew my life began again. And this time, without shame, and without the pressure of being feminine.

My message for gay kids around the world is: Queerness is freedom.

Julia's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Thalia, Mariah Carey, Ellen DeGeneres, & k.d. lang
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