Tracy

Tracy, age 12
Salem, Oregon (1972)

This was me on Christmas day, 1972. My poor mom went shopping for an outfit she thought I would like, and bought a shirt with a man's necktie attached as part of the shirt! I was devastated. My mom saw my face when I opened the gift.

I looked up at her, and with tears streaming down my face, and I said:

"You think I'm a boy????"

So my mom took that shirt, got her seam ripper out, and removed the necktie.

My life was unusual already, having deaf parents. I have deaf relatives on both sides of the family. It is hereditary. However, I do not have any hearing loss.

My mom taught me how to do everything.
I knew how to cook, clean, sew my own clothes and iron.

But as my dad didn't have a son at that time,
I learned his trade as well. He was a car painter, a body and fender man. I learned to mask, sand, and apply primer.

I knew I liked women at the age of five. I liked the way my first grade teacher smelled, and she was very affectionate and kind to all of us.

But I didn't know what being a lesbian meant. I had only one boy I talked to, but we never dated, and my first experience with a woman didn't happen until college.

As for the outfit, I wore it over and over, until I grew taller. I felt so cool!
And I still looked like a little dyke, even without a necktie!!!
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Tracy

Tracy, age 7

Yellowstone, Wyoming (1973)

Here I am at age 7, just out of 1st grade, on a family trip. I was with my parents and two younger sisters. We lived in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio, and spent almost 3 weeks on the road. I was a tomboy from the beginning, and I remember how exciting it was to get this cowboy hat and run around playing cowboys and Indians (and no, we weren't very PC-aware back then...) When I look at this photo now, it makes me laugh - I was so butch and self-confident!

My parents were always very cool and didn't force me to wear girly clothes. And my Mom gave up on dresses before I even hit kindergarten. My middle sister is only one year younger than me, and we often chose to dress alike. Funny, she is a lesbian, too! Our youngest sister, who is straight, is the odd-girl-out.

Boys did not interest me in the least, and I had my first serious crush on a girl in 2nd grade, and I never looked back.

For young gay and lesbian kids who might be reading this -- hang in there and believe in yourself. I am 45 now, and the changes I have seen so far in my lifetime are incredible. When I was your age, I never would have imagined I could be married to a woman, but I now live in New Hampshire and I am.

By the time you are my age, it will be an even more different world.
You have lots of love and happiness ahead of you!

Tracy's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Julie Andrews, Helen Reddy, & Karen Carpenter
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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