March 26, 2014


Tatiana, age 12 
Moscow Region, Russia (2000)

I’ve always known I was different. My first flashes of strange feelings started to appear when I was 4 years old and continued to grow inside of me each year.

At school I realized I wasn't discussing boys like the other girls.

I tried to convince myself I liked men or boys (at least in movies and music bands), but it was all false.

Then I saw "her" for the first time when I was around age 8.

She was a teacher who came to take my classmate from school. And I was standing there, shocked and speechless for about 30 minutes.

Her beauty captured me.

Next year, she came in the classroom to say she would be our math teacher for the next 7 years!

I was terribly in love with her for that entire time, but I didn’t know there was something wrong feeling that way. She saw what was happening to me, but obviously she couldn’t do anything to help me get over it.

Many years have passed since then. Like the majority of people in our country, she hates me and thinks I’m a weird lesbian who was trying to seduce her.

But I wasn’t.
At that time, I didn’t even know it was actually possible to love another woman.

Today I’m 26, and I have a girlfriend and we have two children.
Hopefully, one day, we’ll have a chance to marry. I believe in it.

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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