Nampa, Idaho (1973)
I remember this Christmas well. I sat on Santa's lap at the mall and asked for a chainsaw. He looked pretty confused according to my mom, but it must have made an impression - because it's what I got! My eyes are a little red in the photo from crying, because I had to wear a dress.
I knew I liked girls since I can remember and needed to hide it. I also remember my my first celebrity crush was Samantha on "Bewitched."
Right around the time of this photo I got a boy's style haircut and had the kids convinced I was a boy.
I had little girlfriends who would make me the husband when they played house.
I even had a girlfriend in kindergarten and we'd kiss on the bus.
When I started 1st grade I was outed by the bus driver as a girl. He told everyone, "Sarah is a girl's name! You are a girl!" I was mortified. I eventually gave up the charade, but school was tough. I always felt like a freak who didn't fit in.
I moved to Los Angeles once I graduated school and finally felt at home for the first time in my life. I'm very happy and comfortable with myself now as I don't have to pretend anymore. And I've been with my wife for almost 17 years now.
"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"