June 13, 2013

Robert

Robert, age 5
White Settlement, Texas (1943)

This was snapped on my first day of school, in a place called "Liberator Village." "Liberators" were bomber war planes made in a factory there, and my tiny Mama crawled inside their wings and welded things.

Back then, kids couldn't start school till after their 6th birthday. But because Mama didn't want me to wait till I was nearly 7 to start, she falsified my birth date so I could start when I was still age 5.

Because I read well, I was quickly promoted to 2nd grade. Although lonely among older kids, I wasn't afraid of school.

One summer, I had lured neighbor boys into the schoolhouse's deeply-recessed doorways to play "You show me yours, I’ll show you mine."

I never had problems about my gayness. Because homosexuality was so feared,
no one ever talked about it or warned me against it. So I wasn't indoctrinated.

Also, I read Sappho, Catullus, Isherwood, and Auden early, and it was actually harder being smart than it was being gay.

I was beat up through high-school for "carrying too many books." Although both straight and gay boys attended my notorious "slumber parties," they were afraid to befriend me in everyday life.

Thus, I lived vicariously through movies and books, and instead of having steady boyfriends, I secretly worshiped movie star Tab Hunter.

Later in life I was alone and maladjusted. I dropped out of college and was thrown out of the Air Force. I fortunately visited New York and wandered into the Caffe Cino, the first Off-Off Broadway Theatre - and the birthplace of gay theatre.

And it was there, at last, that I found artistic, intelligent, gay friends and lovers. Though I was openly gay, I had an international playwrighting career.

It’s somewhat easier being gay today, but things can change in an instant.
Or worse, they can change with an election. So be wise and be wary, kids.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


June 06, 2013

Jim

Jim, age 7
Penticton, British Columbia, Canada (1965)

I've always been gay, and looking back at my photos, I cant figure out why everyone else was surprised. And yes, I'm the boy on the right, hand on my head.


I guess it was because I always had a best "girlfriend" and so people thought there MUST be something going on romantically between us.

I was always "creative" and "whimsical" and I loved to sing and dance.
And I was into everything "artsy."

I was never bullied but still felt I was missing out all through school, as all my friends had boyfriends or girlfriends. I took my guidance counsellor's advice and waited til after high school to come out to my friends.

My mom cried a little when I told her a couple years later, but she assured me that she would always love me. She called back a week later and said she was having a little trouble because she didn't want me to be alone.

I told her I had just met a very cute boy, and he eventually met my mom.
Well, it's 32 years later and we're still together!!!
And it is still getting better and better!

We take nothing for granted and we tell each other 'I love you' everyday.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


May 28, 2013

Allison

Allison, age 3
Cleveland, Ohio (1993) 

I was always lusting after my brother's LEGO blocks. But as he was almost six years older, he was not keen on sharing them with me. So imagine my delight when I unwrapped my very own LEGO set for Christmas! I do remember being mildly upset that my box was pink instead of red. I liked red as a bold color.

I loved climbing trees and going for long "excursions" with the local boys along the creek behind my house.

But I also loved getting dolled up in dresses for special occasions, and I didn't mind that my Christmas pajamas were frilly.

Or that my mother refused to let me paint my room dark blue.

The first time I noticed my sexuality was in the 6th grade, when I was simultaneously in love with my best friend (a girl) and a boy in my homeroom.

I knew then that I was "different" and that I should pick which gender I would like for the rest of my life. But I didn't want to. I knew about gay people, but I didn't know there were other options besides just "gay" and "straight".

I had and still have massive crushes on Ryan Reynolds (and Ryan Gosling), Eliza Dushku, and Alison Hannigan. As far as Alison is concerned, her role on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" is all I need to say!

Unfortunately, my biggest bully is my own brother. He took out his own anger on me and knew that mocking my tomboy behavior was a sour spot for me.

One time he nonchalantly said, "I bet you're a lesbian." I asked him what he meant, but he wouldn't answer. I thought a lot about it though. We aren't on speaking terms and because of this and other family factors, I spent my first Christmas with just my partner, despite my family living 5 minutes away.

I pledged a sorority in college and got kicked out for being who I am. But I don't regret coming out. I do regret dropping out because of the resulting severe depression and lack of motivation causing confusion and turmoil in my head.

I eventually made a great group of friends and met my wonderful partner. I have always maintained that I like both genders, and though I do not deny that there should not be distinction between the genders, I'll admit that I like my men manly and my women at least mildly feminine.

I have to constantly remind myself and my lovely wife that things do get better, and even now things are better than they were a year ago, or the year before that.

So my message for LGBTQ kids today is: Just keep your head up.
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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May 18, 2013

Mykel

Mykel, age 4
Macon, Georgia (1996)

I was a very quiet kid. I never liked wearing suits, but I remember loving the setting of this wedding reception I attended with my mother. My signature pose always involved a limp wrist and a protruding pinky. You could say I was your average Bette Midler whenever I walked from room to room.

Growing up I liked girls, but only enough to call them "pretty."

My first attraction to boys occurred by accident when I was age 7. I'd "spied" a classmate of mine more than I should have in a restroom stall, and I couldn't look away.

Barbie dolls were my life, and I was fascinated by the clothes designed for them. I wanted every collector's Barbie, but they were so expensive, I had to make my own.

With a Wonder Woman doll and an ill-fitting black dress with Velcro dots, I made my own Morticia Addams doll.


I always preferred female roles in movies to the point of memorizing their lines.
I even acted out Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman character in "Batman Returns."

My first celebrity crush was Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. The rest didn't compare, and the N*Sync boys didn't stand a chance. Other music I loved included the Spice Girls, S Club 7, and Britney Spears. My mom was already listening to Celine Dion and Shania Twain, so I guess I had it coming.

My mother raised me to be the most polite child imaginable, and everyone around me loved me for it. I didn't have a lot of friends, but the few I had were enough.

And believe it or not, I didn't know I was gay. While I showed signs, I was still, somehow, in a weird state of denial. I didn’t come out to myself until I was 19, and then to my mother by age 20.

Today, I am much more comfortable in my skin now than ever. So my advice to LGBTQ kids is to keep yourself busy in doing what makes you happy.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


May 07, 2013

Susan

Susan, age 5 
Phoenix, Arizona (1959) 


My first lesbian experience was at the age of five, with a girl of the same age from my school.

We spent nights at each others homes, and we shared the same bed together during sleep-overs. 

I was drawn to her body, and she to mine. There were many passionate (but innocent) nights spent in each others arms.

One day, she disappeared from my life. I really don't know what happened.

I assume that her father, who was in the Air Force, was transferred out of state.

During the ensuing years, I had an affair that lasted several months with an older female cousin, and on and off affairs with several of my girlfriends.

However, the girl that I was most in love with shunned my advances, and she broke my heart. Even so, some fifty years later, we are still friends.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


April 25, 2013

Roger

Roger, age 2
Galt, Ontario, Canada (1963)


Here I am at age 2 on the right, holding the hand of my little sister and best friend. We were inseparable. We played dolls and had little tea parties together. As we grew up we kept to ourselves as our four brothers hung out together.

Five years later we had another sister to play house with. All the while, my dad said:

"Something ain't right with him."

My oldest sister had a beautiful yellow dress that I absolutely adored! When I was six I pushed a chair to the closet, climbed up, and took down the dress.

I started to put it on when:
Oh no! The dress got stuck!

My arms were above my head, and I couldn't see and couldn't breathe!

I yelled for help and my mom came and pulled the dress from over my head.
She said, "What are you doing? Boys don't wear dresses!"
After I was freed I heard my dad ask, "What is he, some kind of sissy?" 

I remember feeling embarrassment and shame. But mostly shame.

My parents started signing me up for sports teams and encouraging me to play with my brothers. That ought to "fix things," they thought. It worked for a while, and I was developing a more "boy-like" attitude and demeanor.

A couple of years later, my sister died. And I felt devastated and lost. So I turned to the church, and my "feminine side" was on its way to being completely buried.

I eventually broke free and have slowly become the person I am now. I still like to wear blouses, skirts, stockings and panties. I feel very much at ease when doing so, but as soon as I put on a dress, I revert back to being that six year-old kid feeling fear, embarrassment, and shame.

But mostly shame...
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

April 16, 2013

Dane

Dane, age 10
Grosse Pointe, Michigan (1974)

This was me Trick or Treating with my mummy mask in hand. I wanted to go dressed as The Boy Wonder - I had a huge crush on Robin! - but my dad didn't want me parading around the neighborhood in green underwear.

At age 10, I also had a crush on my brother's friend, Bruce. He had blond hair and looked like a surfer.

My mom had a luncheon one day and was telling the other moms how handsome Bruce was, and that he was going to break some little girl's hearts.

And I chimed in:
"Yes, and some boy's hearts, too!"

I was really boy crazy when I turned 14.

My mom was giving me driving lessons one day and let me hold the wheel, and we spotted the high school track team running shirtless. As I drove our station wagon up, over the curb,  my mom exclaimed, "Golly!"


And high school was really hard for me. I would come home and my mom would ask me, "How was school today?" What was I supposed to say: "Great, mom!
I was called a fag 50 times today, thrown into the mud, and somebody taped a Polaroid of their genitalia on my locker."


It wasn't until I was 19 that I had sex with a guy. And I'm not lying: he was wearing green underwear! His name wasn't Robin, but still -- Whoo-hoo!

Today, I'm married. And my husband and I have been together for 14 years.
He's amazing, funny, and cute. Thus, see - it does get better!

You can read more on my experiences growing up gay in the 70's here in a
mini-comic I created entitled "Raw Hamburger."
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


April 03, 2013

Timothy

Timothy, age 9
Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia (1991)

Growing up, I'd always had this weird aversion to the opposite gender.
When I started school, I just naturally gravitated towards boys. The happiest moments I'd spent in my childhood were the days spent swimming with my boy friends, showering together, playing tag, and general roughhousing. Girls were simply boring to me, and I just didn't have any interest in them at all.

As you can see from the photo, I was a scrawny, nerdy-looking kid with big glasses. That boy on the right was my best friend Fookyew, and my first real-life crush. This precious photo represents a time of innocence in my life, and I really miss those halcyon days in the early 90's.

I had a pretty good upbringing and didn't really have much trouble in elementary school. But problems began with puberty during junior high school, as my feelings for other guys started to intensify.

Because I changed schools, I eventually lost touch with my friends and had to make new ones, and it was tough.

But thankfully, despite the moderate bullying I experienced, I managed to pull through high school with good results.

I also embraced my Christianity, and when I found out about their views on being gay, it just made me more confused and sad. I wasn't able to talk to anyone about this as I was afraid of losing friends. So, I hid my true self deep in the closet.

In closing, I just want to let all the young gay boys and girls out there know that the future for them is becoming brighter and brighter each passing day. You just have to be strong and not worry about it, and live in the moment now.

Keep making friends and just enjoy being who they were born to be.
And of course, you are not not alone in feeling what you are feeling.

Remember, there are hundreds and thousands of others who are just like you!
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 26, 2013

Ivan

Ivan, age 5
Saint-Petersburg, Russia (1988)

My photo shows me doing my first drag performance, as my silly 'Auntie Valya' who lost her reading glasses, while they were always on her forehead.

I was a truly gay kid while growing up, and I was a champion of arts and theater through my early school years.

But then puberty hit and my classmates no longer thought I was that fun to hang around with anymore.

In fact, the bullies tortured me for years on a daily basis. But I survived, and that still amazes me at times.

I eventually ran away from my home country of Russia to find freedom and safety in the USA.

At age 15, I died my hair red. Then green, blue, and pink.

I came out to my mom when I was only 16. Twelve years later, she is still struggling to accept my "life choices." We speak to each other now, but not often.

My father has never been around, and he left for good when I was 12. We never shared any bonds, and he always treated me as if I was some kind of some foreign exchange student living in his house.

I've struggled all these years to overcome anxiety and depression which stems directly from the years of bullying and living in a viciously homophobic Russia.

I have lived in the United States for 8 years now. I will become a citizen this year, provided everything gets done on time. Being gay is still a work in progress for me.

But I am doing better - and feeling better - than I have ever felt before.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 18, 2013

Tami

Tami, age 9
Staten Island, New York (1995)

I remember the day this photo was taken. It was a rainy weekend and my little brother and I were having fun trying on my uncle's old work clothes. I know I was both embarrassed and proud when my mother pulled out the camera.
And the two emotions read simultaneously on my face.

It was right around this age when I was first called out as gay. I was in the 5th grade and a female friend and I were playing during a break between classes.

I turned around to find a pack of four boys behind me, with one of the more popular kids in the front. "You're a lesbian!" he said, as the other boys snickered.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Was that an insult?
Had I done something wrong?

I never looked quite like the other girls: I was heavy then and wore thick glasses, baggy t-shirts, and high-top sneakers to school.

Maybe that's what a lesbian was?

Trying not to look foolish, I shot back, 'Well... so are you!' The boys laughed and I realized that, once again, I had missed something in the social code.

I asked my mother what they had meant when I got home.
But I didn't get much help there either.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 28, 2013

Karl

Karl, age 3
Arlington, Texas (1964)

In this family photo, I was consciously trying to be cute and coy for the cameraman. At that age I just wanted to be around other males, as all the neighborhood kids and my young cousins were girls. And my father was the physically-present but emotionally-absent type.

At school I figured out that I was more interested in music than most other boys. I wasn't good at sports, so I thought my feelings toward guys were just hero worship.

As a teen I became more aware of my attraction to men, but I just didn't know what to call it.

In 1977, I got my first job as a puppeteer at Six Flags Over Texas. That is where I learned what "gay" meant - while learning the lyrics to "A Chorus Line," "Annie," and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Now I knew what to call what I'd been feeling, although I was terrified by what my church thought of it.

And then Baptist Panic set in: my Youth Minister assisted me in writing a letter declining to return to performing the next season. I was – and still am – a very good puppeteer; I think I could have gone far if I had just kept with it. Still, my attractions would not disappear.

Fighting my urges, I put myself through pastoral counseling to attempt to become straight. I soon attended college with the goal of becoming a Baptist music minister. And neither of those things happened for me.

After three years of counseling I accepted myself, I came out, and I immediately thought, "What am I going to do with this degree?" - and a job that has nothing to do with music.

But I'm now a volunteer performer with the local gay band and an orchestra, and I sign interpret the songs at the largest primarily gay church in the world.

Through my interest in music I met my wonderful spouse of 13 years, who sings opera part-time. One sister is very accepting of me and my partner, the other isn't – but that’s OK.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to not care what others thought and to go ahead and to be himself.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 15, 2013

Eve

Eve, age 13
London, United Kingdom (2004)

I've always been very dramatic. But my coming out wasn't as dramatic as I'd have liked it to be, as I kind of trickled out of the closet. It started with telling a couple of my close friends at 14 about being in love with the girl who played Sky Masterson in our school's production of "Guys & Dolls."

I went through the usual 'Do-I-want-her-or-want-to-be-her?' feelings. Or wondering if maybe I just liked girls because I didn't know any boys? Thank goodness for my all-girls schools though, because our drama department introduced me to the wonders of cross dressing (and ladies in suits).

I tried coming out to other gay girls I knew. But they told me I couldn't possibly know if I'd never been with a girl. After that I shut up about it.

I decided coming out at school was a bad, bad idea. I thought everyone would either hate me, or think I was doing it for attention.

So, I tried dating boys. By the time I got to University I thought, 'Why am I doing this when I could be with girls?' So I ditched the guy, cut off my hair, and bought about a million checked shirts. I was finally part of an accepting gay community!

My mum eventually found out when she found a postcard from my girlfriend signed with kisses. After all the months of her asking "Are you gay?" and me replying 'No. Why do I have to be gay to have a short haircut?' - I finally said 'Yeah, OK. I have a girlfriend'. So it was all a little anti-climatic.

My mum immediately phoned everyone she knew to tell them the news.
And that's how I came out. I'm still with the girlfriend who sent that postcard,
and I still wear men's clothing to this day.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 06, 2013

Joey

Joey, age 7
Bell Gardens, California (1973)

As a young boy I knew I was different, but never really knew how or why.

In the 4th grade there was a boy named Steve in my class. He was much tougher than me and walked me home every single day that year.

I'm not sure if he walked me home to protect me or did that because he knew I was different.

Or, if he felt different too and felt some kind of unity in our daily walk.

It took me 27 years to come out as a gay man. I had a teenage girlfriend and married my ex-wife at the age of 23. Could my life have been easier if I came out earlier on? That is a question I really can't answer.

Today I'm 46, and these are the happiest days of my life. I have a partner of six years and someday soon, will be able to say we are married. I also have a daughter who is 7 years old - around the same age that I was beginning to question why I felt different.

My coming out as a gay man has let me express my true self, create the family I have always wanted, and find the peace and joy that this 7 year old boy was always looking for.
____________________________________________________

  Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "Click - My First Gay Crush Blog"


February 01, 2013

Marty

Marty, age 6
Los Angeles, California (1968)

Every summer my parents would take our family on a camping trip to various places in California by a lake or river. My dad did his best to teach me and my brothers one of his favorite past times - fishing. Where my brothers excelled at this, all I ever wanted to do was goof off and practice casting the reel.


This would inevitably cause my dad to send me away to play with my sisters, which was fine with me. Of course when it came time to be posing the camera,
I was always a willing participant!

My childhood was basically a happy one. Although, school was difficult at times and I did my best to stay invisible to stave off the inevitable bullies.

I had a large loving family that provided a happy oasis, and my siblings were all welcoming to how I chose to express my identity. In fact, my older sisters often took pleasure in dressing me up in various "costumes" from their closet for photo opportunities. Again, I was a willing participant.

Coming out to my siblings was pretty much a non issue. I remember calling to tell them, and the response was always the same: 'Oh, I know' followed by 'I love you.' I just wanted to get it out in the open so we didn't have to pretend anymore.

I never had the nerve to formally come out to my parents, but eventually it was just how it was. As a kid I endured 'faggot' jokes at the dinner table from my dad. But as we both matured, he couldn't have been more loving or supportive of me.

My mother was pure love at heart, but sometimes hid behind the world of denial. I remember visiting her once with my sister and talking about love and pining for when we'd each have a relationship. My mom's response to my sister was not to worry, it will come. But to me, she said that I didn't need that.

Thankfully, as we both matured, knowledge led to her acceptance.
____________________________________________________

Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


January 16, 2013

Ashton

Ashton, age 5
Athens, Georgia (1989)

It was all The Nutcracker's fault. Well, that and my sister's tap shoes. Every Christmas since the age of 1, my family would drive to Atlanta, stay one night in the grandest hotel, and see The Nutcracker at "The Fabulous Fox Theatre"

It was the grandest of occasions, and the best part was dressing up. I'd wear white buck shoes, seersucker pants, suspenders - and therefore felt invincible.

It was my gay childhood version of the Superhero Costume.

In those rags, no one could stop the Sugar Plum Fairy from leaping out of me - and down the stairs, across the front lawn and all the way through the lobby of the glitzy Ritz Carlton.

I was spoiled rotten with love and support. Today, I'm a set designer living in New York City.


And I have this life because my parents knew exactly how to channel my desires into a constructive path for myself. So, thanks to my Mom & Dad - who are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary this year!
_____________________________________________________

Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


January 04, 2013

Lynn

Lynn, age 5
Clovis, New Mexico (1961)

Both my parents thought I was adorable, though not as much as I did. That's my dog Queenie is in this photo with me. I was in 2nd grade when I knew I was attracted to boys. His name was Butch and he had a sweet blonde flat top haircut, and was a little stocky. And I thought singer Bobby Sherman was dreamy!

By 7th grade I was teased about being queer by other kids. My parents (mainly my father) started having trouble with my lack of masculinity in Jr. High.

Not only was I gay, I was fat - the double curse.

I was horribly beaten in Physical Education class. Even the PE teacher called me a pansy! I had to pay them to stop, and I relentlessly tried getting out of going to the class.

My middle school years really beat me down.

At age 21, after 3 years at a fundamentalist Christian college, I came out. At age 22 I came out to my mother when I was in the hospital and on narcotics.

She had no idea and said:
'We mustn't tell your father. And who did this to you?'

She was sure that my being gay was her "fault."

I adore this photo and the sheer luxury I had to express myself. But that freedom was soon taken away and not rediscovered until many years later. Today, I am a very well respected psychiatric nurse practitioner and my life's work is to comfort people with challenging lives. Part of that includes supporting all kinds of people to be exactly who they are meant to be.

My message to young LGBTQ kids is to be patient.

Do all you can do to be your genuine self. The more truth you tell, the happier you will be. Who you are matters, and tell yourself that truth first.

No matter how trapped you may feel, it will get better. No man, woman, religious leader, politician, or teacher can define who you are. ONLY YOU define who you are. Be YOU and be proud, and keep a sense of humor.
_____________________________________________________

Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

December 28, 2012

Mark

Mark, age 7
Crawfordsville, Indiana (1971)

That's me pictured on the left. Need I say anything more???


I'm here with my little sister, as we had just returned from a Halloween celebration at the local mall.

And check this out: I won a transistor radio for "Best Costume!"

Am I convinced this positive reinforcement is responsible for my gayness?

Yes! :)

Though it was not my mom's intention at the time,
I lovingly refer to this picture as "Lady and The Tramp."
_____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
 

December 22, 2012

Melanie

Melanie, age 6
Downey, California (1970)

This was me at Christmas, the first year I discovered Santa Claus was basically a hoax perpetrated by generations of traditional family propagandists and greedy department stores. You can tell by my expression how excited I was about that inflatable reindeer and pink nightgown...

Every year I'd receive typical "girly" gifts when what I really wanted was the Hot Wheels® Mongoose & Snake Race Set.

I wore boys' clothes and shoes, so of course I wanted boys' TOYS! But noooo - Barbie dolls and plush toys were all I got.

But Stephen the neighbor boy had the Hot Wheels® sets, and he often let me play with them.

Stephen also eventually gave me my first kiss, which was quite thrilling. But wait, you say - that means I must be straight!

Well, not purely. See, I hated (and still despise) most things feminine.

I never wanted to get married, have kids, or become domesticated. That all sounded like absolute misery to me. I never wanted to be associated with "the weaker sex" - so I basically consider myself a gay male trapped in a female body.

The message I would impart to LGBTQ youth is that it is vital to live your life being true to yourself first. That is a truth that spans all human conditions.

Be true to who you are and what you desire in life, regardless of who objects to it. It takes a lot of courage to do, but you will develop that strength each time you exercise your right to be yourself.

Staying to true to you is the only way you will find the true joy in life.
____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 19, 2012

Sarah

Sarah, age 3
Nampa, Idaho (1973)

I remember this Christmas well. I sat on Santa's lap at the mall and asked for a chainsaw. He looked pretty confused according to my mom, but it must have made an impression - because it's what I got! My eyes are a little red in the photo from crying, because I had to wear a dress.

Growing up in Idaho, I didn't know I was gay. But I knew "gay" was a derogatory term.

I knew I liked girls since I can remember and needed to hide it. I also remember my my first celebrity crush was Samantha on "Bewitched."

Right around the time of this photo I got a boy's style haircut and had the kids convinced I was a boy.

I had little girlfriends who would make me the husband when they played house.

I even had a girlfriend in kindergarten and we'd kiss on the bus.

During 1st grade, I was outed by the bus driver as a girl. He told everyone, "Sarah is a girl's name! You are a girl!" I was mortified. I eventually gave up the charade, but school was tough. I always felt like a freak who didn't fit in.

I moved to Los Angeles once I graduated school and finally felt at home for the first time in my life. I'm very happy and comfortable with myself now as I don't have to pretend anymore. And I've been with my wife for almost 17 years now.
____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 15, 2012

Jason

Jason, age 7
Brush Valley, Pennsylvania (1976)

Back in the 70's, we always got the necessities for Christmas: clothes, school supplies, and shoes. AND, one special thing from our Santa wish list. All I wanted for Christmas that year was the Lynda Carter "Wonder Woman" doll. And you have never seen a child so happy as the Christmas Day when I opened my "special" present, and there she was - WONDER WOMAN!!!


As for school, it was not easy for me. Throughout grade school and high school I was picked on and bullied and called names I would really rather not say. But I SURVIVED! I graduated high school in 1987 with a graduating class of 167 seniors. And I thought I would never want to see any of them again.

I immediately moved to Tampa, FL and to no one's surprise, I "came out." I went back to college and moved into the business field. Now, a quarter century later I work for a multi-billion dollar healthcare firm.

On Facebook in 2009, I started seeing people I went to high school with, and we began talking. I found out that those who picked on me the worst had a story of their own (abusive homes, sexual assault, drug problems). In November, we had our 25th HS Reunion. The people I thought I would never want to see again gave me such a wonderful evening, that we didn't stop talking until 5:00am!

My message for LGBTQ kids today is:

Right now you are on but one path. This path may seem insurmountable, but if you push through, there will be thousands and millions of paths to choose. And if none of those paths are for you, then pave your own!

You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done, or there is no hope. I am just one of millions, and I found my path.

I am surrounded by a wonderful family (not all necessarily blood family), incredible friends, and the satisfaction of know that I SURVIVED, I have LIVED, and that I have no regrets.

Be exactly who you are and be PROUD!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 13, 2012

Mark

Mark, age 3
St. Paul, Minnesota (1965)

In this picture I had just asked this Santa for "Chatty Cathy's Brother". He was a doll that taught you how to dress and tie your shoes.

Talk about the perfect doll for a little gay boy!

My father was dying and pleaded with my mom not to buy me that doll.

Luckily for me, my uncle had overheard my request and he wrapped it and hid it under the tree for me.

I was so excited on Christmas when I unwrapped the "Brudder" doll - I couldn't pronounce brother - and it was the best Christmas ever!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 10, 2012

Greg

Greg, age 2
Plano, Illinois (1974)

This photo was taken at my grandma's house, where I remember listening to
Judy Garland's "Send My Baby Back to Me" on a 78-rpm record in her basement. On the left I have my Ken doll as I'm coveting my sister's Barbie Dream House that she got that day. I couldn't even take my eyes off of it posing for a photo! And as you can see, she's trying to get me to face the camera.


I first realized I was "different" in 7th grade. I prayed that it wasn't true and that I would change, but I just didn't find girls attractive. I didn't really know what gay meant though, so I thought maybe I was supposed to have been born a girl.
I was pretty tormented emotionally, and I felt depressed.

My same-sex crushes were the boys on "Eight Is Enough" - all of them. My mom tells me I was in love with Chastity Bono, so go figure. Closeted through high school, I don’t remember being picked on for being gay. But, I'd been bullied and teased because of my size and lack of athletic interest and ability.

When I turned 25, I was given the greatest gift: self-acceptance. And I remember feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. Upon reflection, I realized that I had always been gay and soon began coming out to friends and family, and I finally came out to my mom 3 years ago.

Today, I live as an openly gay man. I've been told by straight men that they respect me for being who I am, and that makes me feel great. I feel that I should use my position to educate others, to pave the way for future LGBTQ kids so they don't have the fear of being "found out" that they're gay.

I was born this way, and I love it!
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 "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


December 07, 2012

"The 12 Gays Of Christmas" Book Giveaway!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

As a special gift for all your support, we present
"The 12 Gays Of Christmas" book giveaway!


Here, watch the video for more information:


So here's what we need you to do:

1) Click HERE for more intructions on how to submit to the blog
2) Find a childhood photo of you related to the holiday season
3) Write up your story or memories related to the photo or holidays
4) Send your photo and story to us ASAP to be posted here!

Did you ask for a special toy you wanted as a gay kid that you never got?
Did your siblings get a gift that YOU really wanted but couldn't ask for?
Did your parents discourage you from asking for the "wrong" kind of gift?
Did your parents surprise you with a gift that you never thought they'd buy?
Did you choose Christmas or the holidays to come out? If so, how did it go?
Do you have an especially memorable story related to Santa Claus?

Those are all things we want to hear about! Of course, this isn't only limited to those who celebrate Christmas. Tell us your Hanukkah stories too - and/or anything related to how YOU celebrated the holiday season as an LGBTQ kid.
But don't delay - the deadline for submissions is Thurs., December 20th!

We'll pick our favorite submissions and those people will WIN a copy of the
"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book,
courtesy of Quirk Books!

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!
AND HAVE A VERY MERRY 'N GAY HOLIDAY!
"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 28, 2012

Cal

Cal, age 5
Manchester, Maryland (1987)

I'm pictured on the right with my pants tucked into my boots so you could see how pretty they were. I was always told, 'Boys don't tuck their jeans into their boots, girls do.' I just know I always felt more comfortable doing things my way!


I like how happy I look in this picture with my friends. This is one of many pictures that just scream, "Come on! Were you surprised I'm gay? Really?" Recently I gathered my pictures from birth through high school. In this picture you see my smile, and see that I am happy.

But I soon realized I was different and knew I was gay. Those of us born this way have always known it on some level. Unfortunately, the older I got the more my smile went away. And that breaks my heart. I look at my pictures and I feel so much pain for a little boy that just wanted to be loved so badly.

If there is one good thing I can say and ask of anyone who reads this, it is this:

If parents notice their kids or their friends' kids aren't smiling anymore, find out why. And show them some love. Whenever you suspect that someone just needs some love, I would say 99% of the time it's an accurate intuition.

I hope that somehow my story will touch even one person to reach out and help someone's smile last longer than mine did. All it takes is a few minutes to extend love to someone, especially a child that is begging to be loved.
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  "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 16, 2012

Frank

Frank, age 10
Patton, Pennsylvania (1976)

Well, I think we can safely say by the age of 10 I was OUT! This photo was taken by a photographer from my home town newspaper. My uncle actually owned the newspaper business and my mother worked in the dark room.

Needless to say, when my mother was developing the film that afternoon, she was in shock!

The photographer knew who I was under my granny's wig and red mint, lipstick toothpaste. And of course, my sister's square dancing dress. None other than her co-worker's son! She couldn't resist capturing this moment on film.

Now, as a family we all laugh about this particular Halloween evening. I guess you could say it was my first Gay Pride Parade!

Both of my parent's were gone for the evening and left my brother in charge of babysitting me.


He went out to play with his friends and I was left to my own accord. So this
"ladygirl boy trying to be queer" was my shining LGBTQ moment from the 70's.

 I am one of the lucky ones whose parents let me be myself, and who supported me as much as they could throughout my childhood.

My advice to everyone is to be who you are and don't deviate for anyone!
YOU are the BEST YOU there is!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


November 07, 2012

Sofía

Sofía, age 2
Villa Mercedes, San Luis, Argentina (1987)

I remember as if it were yesterday when I said to my dad, "Paint a beard and mustache on my face." And I was so happy with my manly beard.

When I was 3 years old in kindergarten, my teacher told everyone to pick a card: yellow or pink for the girls, and blue or green for the boys. And I wanted green!

She tried to explain that I was a girl so I had to pick pink or yellow.
"I'm a girl, and I want green," I said.

I always felt "different" from the other girls, and I never liked boys.
I always felt a connection to girls, but it was all unconscious. It was if it was all a secret, even to myself.

At the age of 16 I realized that I was in love with my female best friend.

But as I was so scared, I never acted on those feelings. However, thanks to her,
I could start living my life as the lesbian I am. And it all finally became clear!

Now at age 26, I'm in love an enjoying every part of it with a girl who never thought she could love another girl. She's a very special person in my life, and we connected instantly when we met. I love the way she holds my hand when we walk down the street. It brings me peace.

I am glad that I always remained true to myself, and that I never tried to be with a boy, just so that my family or friends would accept me. Today they all accept and love me for who I am. Even my grandmother asks me, "How is your girlfriend?" and that means the world to me.

Morrissey once sang: "And if the people stare, then the people stare, I really don't know and I really don't care. There's no shame..." And that's my story today, too.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"