January 21, 2011


Andrew, age 2
Portland, Maine (1988)

I remember as a kid, I always wanted to be the mom when my playmates and I played house. Of course, this caused a lot of issues between us, as our engendered gender roles had taken effect. There was more of an uproar that my parents' son wanted to be a mother, but there were no issue with the weird girl who wanted to be the family dog. Hey, at least I still wanted to be human -- just sayin'.

"Just next door -- blowing bubbles..."

There was a lot of family disagreement on whether I should play with Barbies or not. There is obviously nothing heterosexual about a male child wanting to play with and undress female dolls.

I don't remember this picture being taken, but I do remember my family used to talk about this picture a lot. As if, this was the time JUST before I "turned."

But, what I see in this picture is myself, who was -  and always will be - queer. And who wanted to be the mother, and wanted to play with Barbies.

I never had a memory of thinking I was "normal." I was always wearing t-shirts around my waist and putting the sleeves in as if they were pockets.
I loved wearing heels - they made me taller and made a clanking sound on the linoleum floor of the kitchen, a sound I still enjoy today.

When I was younger, puberty hit pretty young for me, around the same time as the girls. I remember thinking Erik Von Detten was so hot. Disney obviously sells sex to children.

Because at 8, I remember thinking some naughty, dirty things - and even thinking about being a housewife to Erik Von Detten.

Andrew's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Erik Von Detten (in "The Princess Diaries")

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