That's me on the far right in this pic. The interesting part about this picture is that it shows a very different part of me: I was very feminine as a child. Today, as a grown woman, I am a complete butch! Go figure!
|"A feminine butch? You go girl!"|
As a child I was always secretly admiring women, especially my preschool teachers who were all very feminine. Since very little, I knew there was something exotic about women - their sweetness, their affection and, their hugs!
I used to play with Barbies a lot, pretending they were girlfriends. Sometimes I even made them kiss! This made me feel I was doing something 'wrong'.
At around the age of 16, I discovered Mariah Carey and became fascinated by her beauty and voice. Time went on with me thinking it was wrong to dream of girls. Then I kind of didn't want to wear feminine clothing, but I had no choice.
I can't say what specific time age I consciously knew I was gay, but I can say that at 24 years old, when I officially came out to my parents, I knew my life began again. And this time, without shame, and without the pressure of being feminine.
My message for gay kids around the world is: Queerness is freedom.