January 19, 2011

Shawn

Shawn, age 5
Litchfield, Ohio (1987)

This is back in my childhood in Ohio. RURAL Ohio. VERY rural Ohio. I guess I've always felt different, but didn't recognize this as "gay" until about age 15.

"Gettin' Hitched"
I was friends with a girl my age two doors down (yes, really) named Jennifer. She pressured me into a marriage of convenience with the words, 'Hey, let's play gettin' married!'

As a kid, I enjoyed marriage as a ceremony. Perhaps it wasn't a movie I shouldn't have watched at age 5, but I loved the twisted wedding scene at the end of "Flowers In The Attic," where the mother falls off the balcony to her death.

Anyway, I suppose this makes Jennifer my first and only beard in my first and only homo-flexible moment.


My mom baked a Duncan Hines cake and Jennifer's older brother played preacher. We said our wedding vows, had an awkward kiss, stuffed our faces with cake, then danced on the porch.

Seeing this pic again really made me look back and realize how effeminate and, well, f*ggy I've always been. Now, 23 years later as an out adult, I look back on these photos and it makes me wonder why anyone would ever make me feel bad about being FABULOUS!

I see these photos now as cute and adorable instead of any kind of embarrassing. They're photos of me, the way I always was and continue to be.

Oh, and PS:
Our "wedding" ended in divorce after I saw Jennifer poop in a sand bucket and feed it to her dog...

Shawn's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Chris O'Donnell (as Robin in "Batman Forever")

If I recall correctly (and of course I do), his skin-tight costume gave me my first voluntary boner. Good times!
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Batman Forever Flowers in the Attic Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe Devil's Food Cake Mix, 18.25-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 6) 

13 comments:

Andrew said...

WTF?? Ha ha ha ha ha

Óscar David López said...

I love this blog.

Custom Essay Writing said...

I like it. Nice one.

June said...

I LOVE your blog! It's amazing! Makes me think about how my gay friend was like when he was a child. I didn't know him then. But we had a nice time last night, we were at a party and listened to Shania Twain and my gay friend sung "Man, I feel like a woman!" and meant it. I'm sure he did the same when he was a kid :) Take care!

Anonymous said...

Clearly grounds for divorce.

Anonymous said...

So frigging cute and I love the P.S. part haha On a sidenote, same age and we grew up not too far from each other.

I'm going to have to get one of my own pics up on this site soon.

Mark in DE said...

ROFLMAO!!! :-)

creakygeek said...

Wow, makes my "irreconcilable differences" seem like pretty puny grounds for divorce.

Great post, great blog!

Anonymous said...

Why are we so funny??? When we were children we enjoyed life a lot. What a pitty when we are teenagers.... horrible! But them we are really funny the rest of our lifes!!! Great photo and great blog. Congratulations!!!

Anonymous said...

you are so funny and so cute! A childish John Travolta! Love

Kathryn Thomas said...

One of the most excellent pictures on this entire blog. I can't believe she fed her shit to her dog - that's unforgivable.

.d. said...

Awwww I love this and the blog. So cute.That photo reflects you through and through!

Schlauch Cooker said...

As someone from nearby Lodi, I totally understand what you went through. Great blog!