Lakin, age 4
Sierra Madre, CA (1984)
Picture it: Christmas, 1984. A young boy gets sunglasses, Kermit The Frog booties, and, most importantly, a kid sized rainbow umbrella. Suffice to say, I was materialistically content for at least 3 weeks!
I loved that umbrella, and would often use it as a sword, sun block, parachute, and mode of transportation (akin to a witch's broom).
Alas, whilst dueling with a maple tree, my umbrella snapped in two, leaving me inconsolable for at least 24 hours.
I have since graduated from rainbow umbrellas to the joys of Gucci, Armani, and Louis Vuitton.
Lakin's first, famous-person same sex crush:
"Marky Mark" Wahlberg
I think I was 12 or 13 when "Good Vibrations" hit MTV, and that was the end of any heterosexual pretensions for me!