Brad

Brad, age 9
San Diego, California (1980)

This picture is from one of my first dance recitals, where I began to find my true self. I even remember that the name of the dance was "Turkey In The Straw."

I couldn't catch a ball or play sports, but when I put on my tap shoes and a sequined vest, I felt valid and real. Like I mattered. I knew I wasn’t like other boys, but I didn't know how or why.

The teasing, embarrassment, and shame had not started when I was that age. I was just enjoying being me, and I long to be that boy again. I want to be myself without the ridicule and judgment of others.

As a teen, my walls were covered with posters of James Dean and Elvis Presley. I thought I wanted to be them, but I was actually attracted to them.

No. Fred Astaire is who I wanted to be!

At age 15 my experimenting with boys began, and although it felt right, I lied to myself for another 6 years. Coming out was hard, but it was much more freeing than living a lie.

It took time to find my footing, but now because of my honesty, I’m a better son, brother, friend, partner and uncle. It was very hard to resist the temptation of giving up my dreams because of the bullying, but it has all paid off.

Today at 41 years old, I miss that kid in the picture. He was authentic, and that is something I am striving for now.  I've been in 7 Broadway shows over the years, so now I pay my mortgage wearing my tap shoes and other dance shoes.

I turned being different into a success.
I am gay and proud, but that is just a sampling of many wonderful qualities.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Brad

Brad, age 3
Storm Lake, Iowa (1974)

I have tons of photos like this that are indisputable proof that I was a gay zygote.

"Always have been, always will be, just a prairie girl."

In this photo, I'm on the far right, next to my cousins, Missy and Cindy, and we're all dressed as prairie girls. We loved "Little House on the Prairie" on TV, and would always re-enact our favorite episodes. As the youngest cousin, I was always cast in the crappy role of Carrie. (Seriously, all she did was fall down hills or wells. And did you ever understand a word she was saying?

What I love about this photo, is that while my cousins are all decked out in their finest costumes, I cobbled together some kind sad looking prairie drag. And still, I have a huge smile on my face. Probably because my grandmother had just given me the rag doll I'm holding.

The earliest indication that I was gay was around the age of 5 when I wanted to be able to kiss Fred from "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?" But I don’t know what the attraction was. The ascot, maybe? My golden childhood is filled with many happy memories: playing with dolls, drawing and coloring, reading Trixie Belden mysteries, and roller skating around my basement to the Xanadu soundtrack.

I wanted to grow up and marry a nice Lutheran boy and either perform on "The Carol Burnett Show" or become the cruise director on "The Love Boat." I did not want to participate in any team sports. The boys were mean, loud and smelly. And I abhorred gym class. Getting changed in front of other boys terrified me. Clearly, I was not just a typical gay child. I was stereotypical.

Unlike the bullies I repeatedly suffered under throughout my entire public school career, my parents never made me feel anything less than accepted and loved. They cherished me for me, celebrating my uniqueness and were always my biggest cheerleaders.

I came out to my folks and my friends in my late teens, and no one blinked. Probably because in their minds they thought, 'Obvious. Table for one.' I received universal support from both my family and my friends. Coming out provided me with the confidence to stand up to my tormenters and confront them about their homophobia.

In the words of my parents, upon my coming out:
"Well, we always knew you were special."

And YOU are special, kids. Celebrate it and never forget that fact.

Brad’s first, famous-person sex crush:
John Schneider ("The Dukes of Hazzard")
I remember the skinny dipping episode, and I was so, um, “moved” that I wrote him a fan letter asking that similar 'unclothed' episodes be made. And John responded by sending his biggest, gay, 8 year old fan an autographed photo!
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Brad

Brad, age 5

Norwell, MA (1984)

I don't have any recollection of this photo being taken, but I had that tapestry up until a few years ago when it got lost in a move. I loved it! My Mom used to say I was always a happy child.

I sucked my thumb until I was 9, and I loved playing with dolls.

I think I mortified my Grandmother when she took me shopping for my 4th or 5th birthday and I insisted that I had to have a Cabbage Patch doll. But I loved it.

I loved playing dress up, baking, cleaning, and making crafts.

My Mom had a "cleaning lady" come to the house and I always followed her around with a mop or a duster. I loved cleaning!

My older sisters were into dirt bikes and wrestling. I never understood their interest.

What is funny to me is that I never felt "different" exactly. I was different, but I didn't feel it. When I began to have sexual feelings at about 11 or 12, it seemed utterly natural to me to be attracted to other boys.  

Years later it turns out one sister is gay - and the other is closeted? I wish I could find the video of me playing Ms. Conchita in a home cooking show called Conchita's Kitchen. A wig, a dress, make up, and double fudge brownies.

My parents never tried to sway us from our interests and I think for that reason we were blessed.