Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)
As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.
I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.
And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.
All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.
Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.
I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.
That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.
I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.
I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.
Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.
I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.
Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
______________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'
Tweet